Will the divorce ever be over?

Sharon - posted on 01/01/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )




November 2007 after I returned home from Thanksgiving, I had an e-mail from a lawyer telling me that my husband filed for divorce. He wasn't even man enough to tell me himself, but that shouldn't have surprise me since he's an alcoholic and doesn't know the truth if it hit him in the face. It's been over a year now, and nothing has changed since we went to court in December 2007 for temp. support. Needless to say this past year has been very difficult. I could write a book, but I'm sure all of you could too! He and his lawyer have been stalling this divorce since August. They won't give me a settlement offer. I belive it because he is trying to get overnight visits with the boys and needs to clean up his act.

This past week I learned that he has been late twice in the past three months on the house payment. In fact he didn't make the December payment. He was court order to pay the mortgage when we went to court a year ago. I also learned that he reopen a credit card that I thought I closed and has charged over $6,500 in my name. My lawyer said that I might have to pay it since the credit account was a joint account. I was also told that there is a good chance that I could loose the house. Mean while, the man has purchased 12 guns since he has moved out of the house (I hate guns.....scarded to death of them).

My lawyer keeps telling me that when the divorce is final, things will not be any better. I have to disagree with her. I'm so sick of my life being on hold. I need for this divorce to be over with so I can move on with my life. Please tell me that things will be better once this is over with. Can anyone share with me what type of support they are receiving? I may not get anything other than child support. I don't think that right. I was married to his man for 21 years and was a stay at home mom for 13 years to raise his children. I think I should get something!

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Kara - posted on 01/11/2009




Damn right you should get something. Everything he has accomplished while married to you was made easier because of being married to you. You worked just as hard if not harder in the home, as a stay at home mom you do not get breaks, holiday, lunches and sick days, you work 24/7.

Sharon - posted on 01/08/2009




Hi Laura, Thanks for replying.  I'm so sorry to hear that you are not getting any suppot at all.  If you don't mind me asking, how do you make ends meet? 

No I haven't filed for anything.  When I spoke with my lawyer last week about the mortgage, she told me that I'm better off to just keep things the way they are.  We can hold him in contemp of court for not paying the mortage since he was court order to, but if he goes to jail, then I won't get any support and the mortgage again won't get paid.  She told me that when the divorce is final, my standard of living will be cut in half.  My lawyer doesn't even know about the credit card issue.  I found out about that whole mess 2 hours after I spoke to her about the mortgage.  I told my soon to be ex that he had until February 1 to get all of the $6,500 out of my name or the courts will hear about this too.

What State do you live in?  I'm in Kentucky, and from what I'm learning he can pretty much just walk out of the marriage with out having to pay me any spousal support.  I just don't think that's right.  It was our decission for me to stay home with the kids, and now I'm being punished for it. 

I regards to the guns, I'm sure he is putting the gun on the credit card.  When he left, he took $5,000 out of the savings without me knowing it, he also got 50% of the tax return as well as the stimulus check.....I have no idea what he is spending his money on, other than guns and most likely Vodka.

My ex is also "disabled"  He was injured while fighting a fire (he was a fire fighter for 12 years) and after 5 surgerys he was forced to retire and he is getting a disablity pension from the fire department.  He too said he can't work doing certain things.  He really wants to quite working and live on his pension check, but with his spending habits, he can't afford it.  Before the divorce, we were about $800 from being debt free other than the house payment.  That's one reason I'm so upset about the credit card issue.  I'm living on a budget and within my means to protect my credit rating, but  he is distroying that all.  He once said he didn't care if I had to live on welfare.  He is not the man I married.  All that drinking has changed his personality and he can no longer tell the truth.  Sad, so sad. 

He claims that he is going to his lawyers office in the morning to see why I haven't received a settlement offer yet.  Wish me luck.  I'm so ready for this to be over with so I can move on with my life.

Laurel - posted on 01/08/2009




Have you filed a counter petition?  You should be able to do so and ask for spousal support and state that $6500 he charged on credit card is his debt.

I filed for divorce without telling ex-husband I was doing it.  As far as I can see, we had no chance at reconcilliation--didn't feel he was even trying to reconcile.  I'm not receiving any support at all--in his lawyer's words "You can't squeeze blood out of a turnip."  He hasn't held a job since October 2007, says he's disabled after a bicycle accident (he went head first over handle bars) but has been denied SSI by the government.  If he eventually gets SSI, our children will get a stipend. But yet he can help a friend put a new roof on his garage.

Where did he get money to buy the guns?

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