2 year old son's father took him away from me

Kristy - posted on 07/29/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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i left with my son a few months ago because i walked in on his father (we are not married; just living together; dating) sexually touching a 17 year old girl (he is 41) while dressed in nothing but a towel. the only reason i was able to get my son was because the police were called and luckily he had warrants out for traffic violations(i had no clue) and was held in jail. i am a teacher so i had my son stay with my parents in my hometown (4 hours away from where the incident occured) while i finished out the school year. i hired a lawyer and had to stay with friends since i couldn't afford a place. i visited my son at my parents every weekend until school was out. i had my child in my/parents care for about 2 and a half months. i did not speak to the father or let my son speak to him. i simply DID NOT TRUST this man (the reason is given below). he has been through custody battles before. he's a fighter and honestly a great father (which makes this whole thing much much worse than what it should be). at one point within the second month of no contact, the father tells me his father has fell ill and would like for his son to visit. my dad accompanied me and my son to the ill grandparent. 2 things occured on that trip: 1) my son's father denies the incident while trying to discuss a visitation agreement and informs me he has the girl and her mom ready to testify against it. he also bullied me with threats of false accusations 2) i had a glimmer of hope that i could start to trust this man again with my son when he didn't try to take him away. so when he asked when he could come visit the following week, i clearly stated what days would be good and what days would not work completely. he never responded.

with my lawyer's advice, i decided to think about some sort of visitation before the court hearing. coming home that evening, i get a call from my father saying my son was taken by his father. now how was this possible? this man is two-faced. nice and civilized one minute, double crossing you the next. my father felt violence against this man in front of the child would not be in good favor of the courts. police were called but as everyone knows, if there are no papers, they can't do anything about it ( at least here in MS). so i haven't been with my son for over a month. i call daily, sometimes several, and speak with him trying to distract his attention from his toddler life.

i ask the father to see my son. he refuses unless i sign papers (which my lawyer has yet to see) for a bogus one week and weekend a month until the hearing. i had my lawyer draw up papers for every other week and despite the phone call of a promising compromise, nothing is being done on his side.

my request is that if you read this post and it sticks with you, please pray for me and my son and believe it or not, the father. i thought he was one of the Godliest men i knew. all these lies and bullying and manipulating not only me, but that girl are going to catch up with him. maybe not now but if he has any conscience at all or a heart for Christ, he needs to be a man and truly embody the title of 'father' with his actions. please pray that the judge will see truth clearly and pray that i will have the strength and courage to pretty much testify with only my word (didn't really think about grabbing the camera and have them say 'cheese' that night lol emotions took over, not logic).

any thoughts or comments or amens would be appreciated! :)

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Kristy - posted on 08/19/2012

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thanks for the encouragement. we both filed actually. (he has been through this process before with his ex-wife) he got through first. it was odd, because there was no need to serve papers to me since i was already set up to file against him. the hearing is next monday, the 27th. getting nervous and excited b/c i feel i will win. i feel that it's God's will for me to have my son and be in my care full time. but the thing i face now is that my lawyer hasn't gotten any information from his lawyer for about a month. they have called and e-mailed over and over and over and still nothing. i have been told that the hearing could be postponed to a later date if the dad goes in there and requests more time to acquire a new attorney if his current one has withdrawn. the only good thing about that is if me and the father still do the every other week time (myself along with family and friends think he only does this because he has no money) until the actual hearing, i will get to spend every other week with my son. but we shall see. maybe God will convict him and he'll have a change of heart and realize the error of his ways and change to be a man of God as he claims to be.

[deleted account]

Hi Kristy- It's about the same in most states- if there are no papers, then it's REALLY hard to have something done. I am so sorry that you and your child are going through this.
If he won't file papers, then you/your lawyer need to... A.S.A.P. If you are able to keep records of your conversations with your ex, then do so. Voice recordings don't help in court unless they KNOW they are being recorded; i.e. voicemail, text messages, emails, etc. (Those all help... he knows that they can be saved, printed, etc.)
Don't let him bully you. My ex tried that with our son, who is almost 5. I was able to get full custody.

Keep your chin up and keep trying. I do think you should file if your ex isn't doing anything. YOU be the aggressor. I had to do that... and my ex got the hint that I was not going to be bullied.

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