Heather - posted on 05/25/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )
My ex husband and i have been separated for 5 years. We have a 9 year old son and a 4 year old daughter. I was just over a month pregnant with my daughter when we split. He has never been a part of her life and hasnt been a significant part of my autistic sons life since the split. I have been to every iep meeting and parent teacher conference and school party he has been to none of them. When our daughter had surgery and had all the specialist appointments in the town he lives in and didnt show up to most of them. Our son had emergency surgery last year he never showed up and only called one time to check on him. After our home town was destroyed by a tornado last year (joplin mo) he never came down to check on them and called maybe 3 times. He was in town for a game thing he does and was 5 blocks from out house and didnt come see them. My son is doing great in school 3a's 2 b's last quarter. My son also has adhd and asthma. My ex smokes and drinks, my son cant be around the smoke with his asthma. He rarely calls and its months in between calls. He last came to see them in Dec because his father in his words "drug him down here" before that was July (a week after my sons birthday) cus again his father paid him to, before that had been my daughters birthday (april) the year before so 18months between times. He now wants to take the kids every other weekend three hours away to a place they have never been. He is about to be evicted from his trailer park (nothing against trailer parks there are some nice ones just not the one he lives in) cus he can never pay his rent, he has no air conditioning and my son has to be kept cool because he is very heat intolerant and its one of his main triggers for meltdowns with his Autism. My daughter doesnt know him, he has never been a part of her life, and my sont has gotten to the point where if he says something about his father and you tell him maybe he will call in a couple days he replies "no he wont he never does". He called yesterday wanting to take them and when I said you cant take an Autistic child and just throw them into a situation they dont know with no one there that knows how to handle them. His reply was "life is about change and he just has to learn to deal with it" I refused. I have put in for sole custody and he is trying to go for joint custody. When I told him to read up on Autism to see what my son is facing he hung up on me. Then started telling everyone I am doing it to hurt him. He is trying to act like he is father of the year and says he wants to see the kids but I keep them from him. I have always told him and he knows he is welcome to come see them anytime he wants. Any advice?