Custody battle with an Autistic child

Heather - posted on 05/25/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My ex husband and i have been separated for 5 years. We have a 9 year old son and a 4 year old daughter. I was just over a month pregnant with my daughter when we split. He has never been a part of her life and hasnt been a significant part of my autistic sons life since the split. I have been to every iep meeting and parent teacher conference and school party he has been to none of them. When our daughter had surgery and had all the specialist appointments in the town he lives in and didnt show up to most of them. Our son had emergency surgery last year he never showed up and only called one time to check on him. After our home town was destroyed by a tornado last year (joplin mo) he never came down to check on them and called maybe 3 times. He was in town for a game thing he does and was 5 blocks from out house and didnt come see them. My son is doing great in school 3a's 2 b's last quarter. My son also has adhd and asthma. My ex smokes and drinks, my son cant be around the smoke with his asthma. He rarely calls and its months in between calls. He last came to see them in Dec because his father in his words "drug him down here" before that was July (a week after my sons birthday) cus again his father paid him to, before that had been my daughters birthday (april) the year before so 18months between times. He now wants to take the kids every other weekend three hours away to a place they have never been. He is about to be evicted from his trailer park (nothing against trailer parks there are some nice ones just not the one he lives in) cus he can never pay his rent, he has no air conditioning and my son has to be kept cool because he is very heat intolerant and its one of his main triggers for meltdowns with his Autism. My daughter doesnt know him, he has never been a part of her life, and my sont has gotten to the point where if he says something about his father and you tell him maybe he will call in a couple days he replies "no he wont he never does". He called yesterday wanting to take them and when I said you cant take an Autistic child and just throw them into a situation they dont know with no one there that knows how to handle them. His reply was "life is about change and he just has to learn to deal with it" I refused. I have put in for sole custody and he is trying to go for joint custody. When I told him to read up on Autism to see what my son is facing he hung up on me. Then started telling everyone I am doing it to hurt him. He is trying to act like he is father of the year and says he wants to see the kids but I keep them from him. I have always told him and he knows he is welcome to come see them anytime he wants. Any advice?

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Candice - posted on 12/14/2012

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I am in the same situation with my 5 year old autistic son. I prayed to God, who heard my prayer and I asked Him to forgive me for my sin and living my life without Him. He heard my desperate cry and protected my son and I when he was 3 when I fled my husband in fear for our lives to my parents home 7 hours away. God and God alone provided miracle after miracle after miracle..not only in our safety and provision (as he had cut me off to all money) but in the courtroom. It as been almost 2 years and his dad never visits him and doesn't even know him, but is still fighting me in the Courts for full custody and the courts keep pushing him to see him. My son has very similar issues with heat, sensory issues, allergies to almost everything and ADHD. I just want to say I know first hand what you're going through and the answer is to pick up a Bible and find The Lord. He is alive and has radically changed my life since I gave my life to Him and excepted Him as my Savior. He is the only hope and if you believe in Him and accept Him into your heart, He will guide and lead you and work out every trial for your good. Lord willing I am going t write a book about what we've been through and how God as been present and faithful throughout. There is nothing more important than having a relationship with Christ and walking with Him everyday. Trials like you and I are facing are exhausting ad horrific, but only He can provide peace and joy as He is with you and fighting your battle for you....but that requires 100% trust and faith in Jesus Christ and He turns away no one who seeks Him. Ask Him to open your eyes and to come into your life and get a Bible and He will speak to you as you read.

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