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Feel Like I am losing it..confused mom?

Ky - posted on 06/05/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I am currently a mother of two boys, 5 and 2 and a wife, working full time Mon-Fri 10am -6pm at a school, and in school full time to finish my Bachelors in Elementary Education. I cook when I get home after 6pm, try to spend some time with my kids, help my son with his homework, read books, sing songs, and put the boys to bed, do laundry, clean and then try to do my school work at 11pm just to do it all again the next day. I already feel so overwhelmed with all these duties and I just found out that I am pregnant with my third. I am terrified at the thought of adding another child to the mix and since this pregnancy is unplanned I have sadly considered not carry the baby to term because I feel like my life is already spiraling out of control. I struggle with this decision on a daily basis and I am only 3 weeks pregnant. My husband I are on the rocks and have been for some time so I am feeling very alone in making this decision and he says it is my decision. I want to finish school and give my children a better life, we are in debt, and since my husband is unemployed I am carrying the work slack as well as everything else. My husband is also in school for Aviation and if everything goes accordingly we will both be finished by next spring, which is when I will have to do student teaching, which is full time 3 months no pay and if I miss one day I will have to do it all over again, if I calculated right the baby will be due when I have to student teach. I am feeling very alone, confused, scared, weak, and sad all the time. I feel like I am on the brink of a nervous breakdown I am snapping at my children for the smallest things and I feel so stupid right after I do it. I just do not know if I can carry on. This is very personal for me and I cannot believe I am posting this but my family and friends are very judging, which is why I am feeling alone. Is anyone or was anyone in the same situation?

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3 Comments

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Alisha - posted on 10/21/2012

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Keep in mind you also have pregnancy hormones driving you bananas too. I am an Education Major with boys 7 and 4. On my associates until next semester. I feel totally insane most of the time. I try to stay positive about things, and when I feel overwhelmed I tell myself everything happens for a reason. I am a strong woman and I can do this. Take some much deserved ME time and relax at least once a week. I sounds like you are supermom and just need to slow down a little.

Laurie - posted on 06/15/2012

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i have not been in your situation but i understand how you feel, overwhelmed confused and alone, having to decide weather or not to carry your child or not is a heavy decision, i faced a scare recently myself, i am about to head into school (5 class semesters) this fall while working and looking for a second job and i knew that if i was pregnant and chose to have the baby something would suffer, i would have to choose between my child and my school which is for my career, i was prepared to have an abortion because i want to have my children when im ready and can provide for them and i didnt want either my school work or my child to suffer for the other. this can be only your choice and it is a very hard choice but i would ask you to ask yourself the question that i asked myself, do you want to bring your next child into this world where your home is in tumult and your lives in transition or can you have an abortion and finish your transition and once you are secure in your new position have your next baby. whatever your choice you are going to need your husband's support, so talk to him he is probably just as stressed and worried as you are, so despite what i have already said and what he has said you are going to make this decision together, though what you think and feel will take the majority talk everything out with him, it wont be pleasant but in the end you will have made a decision and can plan for the future. remember you are going to need his support, make sure he knows it. good luck

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