Ky - posted on 06/05/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )
I am currently a mother of two boys, 5 and 2 and a wife, working full time Mon-Fri 10am -6pm at a school, and in school full time to finish my Bachelors in Elementary Education. I cook when I get home after 6pm, try to spend some time with my kids, help my son with his homework, read books, sing songs, and put the boys to bed, do laundry, clean and then try to do my school work at 11pm just to do it all again the next day. I already feel so overwhelmed with all these duties and I just found out that I am pregnant with my third. I am terrified at the thought of adding another child to the mix and since this pregnancy is unplanned I have sadly considered not carry the baby to term because I feel like my life is already spiraling out of control. I struggle with this decision on a daily basis and I am only 3 weeks pregnant. My husband I are on the rocks and have been for some time so I am feeling very alone in making this decision and he says it is my decision. I want to finish school and give my children a better life, we are in debt, and since my husband is unemployed I am carrying the work slack as well as everything else. My husband is also in school for Aviation and if everything goes accordingly we will both be finished by next spring, which is when I will have to do student teaching, which is full time 3 months no pay and if I miss one day I will have to do it all over again, if I calculated right the baby will be due when I have to student teach. I am feeling very alone, confused, scared, weak, and sad all the time. I feel like I am on the brink of a nervous breakdown I am snapping at my children for the smallest things and I feel so stupid right after I do it. I just do not know if I can carry on. This is very personal for me and I cannot believe I am posting this but my family and friends are very judging, which is why I am feeling alone. Is anyone or was anyone in the same situation?