Shauna - posted on 06/27/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )
i'm beginning to lose all hope that my life is going to get better....i know it's not supposed to be easy, but i'm trying to go to school which i'm going to school for fashion merchandising management. my son just finished kindergarten this year. so i've been completely focused on myself and thank god my 6 yr old son is so smart bc i seemed to have gotten away with slacking on helping him out w/school at times this year. my problem is tho that first grade is going to be harder on him and i have a 4 yr old daughter that i feel like i've completely neglected as far as teaching her how to count and say and recognize her alphabet. my son knew his numbers and letters by the time he was 3 and i feel like me starting so late w/her...basically she's already behind and it's all my fault. i just can't juggle all 3 and i don't have much help at all. i can't afford tutoring for my son although he doesn't need it, but what if he does. thank god my daughter still has another year b4 she starts school, but by that time i'll be getting into my harder classes and i go to an excelled school so they cram 4 yrs in to 2 yrs...meaning i have no spring/summer/christmas break. 10 weeks is an entire semester at my school so i can't afford to miss any school really and i really can't get behind b/c it's impossible for me to catch up...not to mention i'm broke as hell and can't even afford to be going here in the first place. i got 14,000 in financial aid, but had to take out a loan for the other 14,000. this is my sencond attempt at college and i'm determined to get thru it. i HAVE to get thru it...it's not even an option!!! i really love school and i want this really bad. not only for myself, but mostly for my kids. i know if i'm happy w/my career then i'll have happy children too. right now i'm miserable w/my career and i' always broke so i feel so guilty when i can't do afford to go do fun things w/my kids or buy them all the things they want. but now i'm starting to feel guilty b/c i feel selfish for focusing more on my school than my kids.....what do i do? any suggestions???? i feel like i'm at the end of my rope here, and i def don't wanna work midnights at a hotel the rest of my life either. the midnights is draining and i feel like i'm not even a part of normal society bc i sleep during the day when i'm not in school, my house is a wreck most of the time now and i have no time for myself. i need help...desperately!