Tracy - posted on 06/22/2011 ( 9 moms have responded )
Hello, we have been battling with our son now for over 10 years with ADHD. Started with Ritalin at age 5 and ended Ritalin at age 13 as it wasn't doing anything for our son anymore and all the pediatrician was doing was keep increasing instead of trying new methods.
At age 15 we started have huge problem with him, he became physically agressive with our younger son who was 13 at the time, along with inviting his dad into physical confrontations. He has attempted to push his dad down the stairs, slammed his dad's hand in the door and be right in our faces yelling and swearing at us at the top of his lungs.
Age 16 he was chased home by a group of teens in a vehicle, resulting in numerous kids being expelled from school and a couple of them being charged criminally for the incident. It was at this time that our son then did not feel safe at school and took it upon himself to quit school with only 1 month left to complete his grade 10. Since then we have been in numerous meetings with Alberta Mental Health and a Child Psychiatrist who have labelled him as severe ADHD,prescribing STRATERRA and instructing us that we are not to leave our children at home alone due to his physical violence and agression he has displayed with his younger brother. This resulting in me losing my income to stay at home.
In December 2010 we had to call the RCMP to come and remove him from our home for a violent outburst with his brother. He was choking him, and beating him. It was at this time that he was refusing to take his medication and had to stay in the hospital for a week on the pediatric ward instead of the psychiatric ward because he is a minor. Pediatrics did absolutely nothing for him, he sat in his room watching TV and free run of the hospital...just couldn't go outside without an adult present to sign him out. At this time the psychiatrist put him on Vyvanse in the morning and Seroquel at night to make him drowsy. We were instructed to take away all electronics from his room. We were then in meetings twice a week with Mental Health for family therapy and support, at which time we could see his game of being Mr. sweet and innocent in it all, but look out as soon as we left the building. He felt and still feels that he doesn't have a problem that we all need to chill out and leave him alone.
His meds were increased again 3 months ago by psychiatrist, Now taking Vyvanse, Straterra and Seroquel in the morning and Seroquel again at night. These medications are very expensive $400.00 per month, we have no health coverage from employer, and I have no income to assist our family living making things very difficult. The meds work for about a month and then its like he becomes immune to them. Now he is smoking dope, running for days at a time with nobody knowing his whereabouts, has been charged criminally with possession of property obtained by crime. He constantly tells us to F&^k off, chill out, its his life and none of our business. He has now decided that he isn't going to take his meds because they cost too much #1 and #2 he says they don't do anything for him.
His grandmother who lives in another province is enabling him non stop by giving him large amounts of money to supply him with smokes. The other night she new that he was in the ER getting stitches and didn't feel the importance to let us know when we were talking to her that same night. We didn't find out that he was in the ER until 2 days later when he came home.
She isn't supporting us as parents...we have tried everything with this kid. We told him if he wasn't going to school that he had to get a full-time job and we wanted $300 per month for him to live here. Honestly, we thought he would choose to go back to school...but he didn't. So he paid it for the first 3 months until he lost his job. Now we are being looked down upon by his grandmother for making him pay rent. REALLY...where cane you live for $10 a day, including meals, rides to and from work, a roof over your head and full usage of the home, plus still disrespecting our home and disobeying/avoiding all of his personal responsibilities of cleaning up after himself, doing laundry, and dishes twice per week.
We understand that he has a mental disability, we have reasonable expectations and only want to see our son succeed. As parents, we only have 6 months left to turn this kid around until he turns 18 and has full control of his life and choices.
HELP we are at our wits end, and ready to put him out. We can't take his abusiveness any longer, his actions are almost bankrupting our family. We can't go to family outtings because he doesn't care where he "puts on a show". It is stressing our marriage and deeply affecting our younger son.