A - posted on 06/29/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )
I have a 12 year old daughter that was DX with ADHD about 6 years ago, and ODD this past year. One of my main concerns is that she has no friends - she thinks they are friends, but they never invite her to anything. They only sit with her at lunch or do sports together b/c they are on the same team. After school or structured activities they don't invite her to anything. I see kids her age having parties and inviting friends over, but she is never invited. I understand b/c she is difficult to be around. She is very irritating to other kids, teachers, girl scout leaders, doctors, coaches, etc. Basically anyone that comes in contact with her. She is overwhelming to them. It is not the same for boys as girls as girls are much more critical of each other at this age. It is so sad to see her with nothing to do everyday after her camp ends. She has to be in day camps - because she would have nothing else ever do to over the summer. She has been "kicked out" of every day camp in our area; so now she goes to sport camp from 9am - 2pm. I cannot work b/c I cannot put her in a summer camp that offers hours that work with my work hours. She also is on the Autism Spectrum - high functioning - you would never know - aside from her social skills. The other parents don't like her and thus don't like me. Parents with "normal" kids blame the parent for the child's behavior. I'm not the best mother in the world, but I'm also not the worst. We have a solid family with values and structure; and no issues related to her having a bad upbringing. She is loved beyond words, she has everything she wants and beyond - we do everything we can to make her happy. She is not spoiled, but she does have a lot b/c - well - most kids do these days. She has great grandparents that send her things - generally she has a great support system. I guess I am saying that I do not think her issues are because of us or our family. She is taking Concerta (18mg) and Tenex (1/2 of a 1mg pill 2X per day). She is on a very low doses b/c I was against meds; but we will be trying an increased dose over the summer.
We've tried counseling, but she won't talk - the therapist eventually told me I was wasting my money and we could come back when she was a bit older. She is a immature in many ways (like dealing with kids - the "it's not fair" thing is mostly over for other 12 yo girls); buy extremely beyond her years in other areas - it's is mostly the social skill aspect where she does not have a clue.
Any input would be amazing. Thanks much.