ADHD / ODD - Do most kids with this annoy others?

Louise - posted on 11/11/2010 ( 41 moms have responded )

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My 11 year old just won't stop annoying others. Especially his brothers. There is nothing that I can do to stop him. He is better when on meds but when they wear off we just can't stand it! It is horrible being with him! What a difficult time in our lives. It is hard to believe how depressing it is.

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[deleted account]

no problems I got really frustrated before someone had told me that was what they did with their kid. It was bad I would repeat myself like 7 or 8 times before I got so annoyed I would yell and she would tune me out even worse. The trick is the angrier or more annoyed u r the softer u speak. Good Luck with all of it and I promise the more "tricks" u figure out the easier things get, I have been doing this with my daughter for 4 years I wish someone had told me then about the whispering thing. It would have saved me a lot of trouble.

Louise - posted on 11/17/2010

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We usually give the meds when he is still sleeping by quietly waking him and then letting him go back to sleep for 45 minutes...which is how long it takes for his meds to kick in... this makes morning (usually) better...

[deleted account]

Don't let these companies selling everything under the sun waste your money or distract you from getting support. ADHD has only impacted my life and the lives of my children negatively. They are not more creative or happy because of ADHD, it is not a gift.
I couldn't tell you that this gets better, it doesn't. You compensate for the missing things, but you can only do this if you know what is missing. Look back into your family and ancestral history and look for the ADHD. Was any good associated with it? My Grandfather went from job to job, suffering humiliation and resentment from my grandmother who would call him dummy. He was so sweet and so smart, not able to apply the knowledge he had. My father died at 30 from alcoholism, and my sister suffers from it now.
Go forward making the best decisions you can for you and your family but don't forget to learn from the past.

[deleted account]

I have done my research and have been to following the science everyday very carefully. Diet doesnt cause this disorder therefor diet will not treat it. Vitamin deficiencies also do not cause ADHD.
It is genetic. Lack of discipline unfortunately for some kids is also not the reason. These things will most definately stem from having ADHD as poor diet and lack of nutrition are earmarks of inattention and impulsivity. (obesity is linked to ADHD but not as a cause of it but a result). I can put you in touch with current and correct data. Don't let the fact that having children with this disorder automatically diminishes it's seriousness and that diet and vitamins are the cure. There is more research and paper behind the medication than diet and "herbal"treatments. These can be very dangerous because the likelyhood of not being monitored by a doctor. Any treatment be it traditional meds or naturopathy must be carefully monitored.
I encourage you to become more engaged with your community and with the experts in the field.
There us no base if evidence to suggest that diet or vitamins help the symptoms or functioning of ADHD. There is 80 yrs worth of evidence supporting stimulant medication.

[deleted account]

ADHD does not cause ODD because there are kids who have autism/Aspergers that do NOT have ADHD but have ODD therefore one does NOT cause the other.as for CD(conduct disorder) it is not always caused from ADHD or ODD but can be caused my many factors including lack of discipline and bipolar disorders.As for medication NOT all children need meds some just need a change in diet or more structure in their life or activities to keep them busy while others can have some other medical problem that can mask itself as ADHD or ODD or any of those disorders.So for anyone that says their child has ADD,ADHD,ODD,or CD please get more than one opinion, have your child tested for other disorders.change their diet(to see if that helps) have them checked for vitamin deficiencies and DO YOUR RESEARCH!.Meds aren't for everyone

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Amy - posted on 11/28/2012

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ugh - you are not alone. My 8 year old is just terrible to his older 10 year old brother.

We are still working on the meds -

Amanda - posted on 08/28/2012

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Donna Grant..way to go on the lavender bubble baths. Lavender helps ADHD and ODD youngsters tremendously! We have a 6 year old that was diagnosed 2 years ago with ADHD and ODD and he is also mentally delayed. We have an oil warmer outlet in living room, his room, hallway, his bathroom, and kitchen area. Our house always has a strong scent of lavender but it truly helps calm them down. Try the lavender scent and see if that helps.It will also help everyone else in the household to be less stressed! :) We just tell our little one to chill out when we notice his meds wear off. He now knows when we tell him to chill that his behaviour is not acceptable and sometimes we will have to take something away from him like his favorite toy. Timeouts do not work with our son. You can also try adding a fish oil supplement to his diet as well that helps with ADHD disorders its a more natural way to control it. Our child is slowly working his way up the ladder for when his meds wear off. You just have to be consistent ALL the time with the disciplines and rewards this well help alot. And yes you must reward for what you think is appropriate for him. With our 6 year old we do 2 week intervals and we usually reward with a $20 toy. But if he goes off the next day and misbehaves or acts up we go to the store and return the toy. Weve had to do that ONE time and thats all it took for him to know we are serious about his behaviour. You can do whatever fits your budget and what your son likes. Ours just tends to be into the toys right now. Also..no tv, music, or running around 30 min before bed time. Children with ADHD have to wind down before bed time or it will take them awhile to fall asleep so Donna Grants advice of a bubble bath is an excellent way to wind them down.

Danielle - posted on 03/14/2012

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My 6 year old son tries to pick fights with me and with his teachers, he is getting out of hand at school and I need help. We just put him on meds and it seems as if he is constantly talking rapidly when he is on a full dose. He annoys the whole family and the school and he seems as if he cannot keep friends. He is out going but most of the kids in his class are afraid of him because he is too agressive.

[deleted account]

@ Eva if u only look for the negative then that is all u will find my husband has ADHD and he is the greatest guy. Ok so he has trouble reading and spelling but he works his ass off doing things he enjoys and actually right now he is in Iraq defending his country. He makes money on the side by doing his favorite things fixing things he fixes motor bikes, atv's u name it. My 9 year old daughter has ADHD she is an honor roll student and the sweetest most caring, sensitive child I know. Don't get me wrong she is tough to handle @ times but I wouldn't trade her and her little quirks for anything in the world. So look for the good things notice how sympathetic your child is towards other people how once that child finds something they enjoy doing there is no stopping the amount of time and knowledge they will put into it. So if u only look at the negative that is all u will find

[deleted account]

I know its genetic BUT diet can play a role in how a child acts and being allergic to certain foods CAN make a child with ADD/ADHD worse(I know this as a fact and it does work) same way if a kid has certain vitamin deficiencies that can make their condition worse and make them more hyper and have more problems. Ask any moms who have treated their children with diet and supplements alone. A lot of parents DON'T medicate.I mever said diet caused the disorder but it can give you great results. Kids who are hyper and have ADD/ADHD tend to have reactions to artificial colorings and flavorings as well as preservatives(like nitrate and nitrites).I did day care and lots of the parents who had kids with these disorders treated them only with the above mentioned. Just because you choose to medicate does not mean everyone does and just because you think what you think does not make it true. Many parents will tell you the same.What works for one does not work for another. Obviously you either don't have a child with this disorder or you are one that chooses to medicate your child.I dont care if there is 80 yrs worth of evidence not all those studies work for everyone else is what you don't understand.stimulants are not like they were 80 years ago either so therefore as new stimulants are made and less/more ingredients are put into them then the studies aren't correct because they can be better or worse than they were.I also don't see how obesity is linked to ADHD because ANY child I know with ADHD is thin and always have been I don't know many kids who have ADHD who were fat before diagnosis or after so I think that study is BS.That is saying everyone who has ADHD is obese or will become obese do you not understand obesity can be genetic as well not to mention other health problems can cause it? same way with ADHD many illnesses and disorders CAN mask themselves as ADHD/ADD and therefore I think treating a child for something they may not have is wrong.some parents choose to medicate a child and say they have ADHD/ADD because they do NOT discipline the child and cannot deal with the child being a normal lets say toddler.ADD/ADHD is over diagnosed and most kids don't have it. I am done arguing with you as you believe only what you want. That is your perogative. But I know what I know and so do many other mothers reading this as well.scientists are human also and they make mistakes as well so no study is 100% perfect. so you have a lovely day

[deleted account]

ADHD causes ODD. The hope is not to let it doesn't continue to CD. Most do not convert and thankfully so.
Psycho-education, Medication, school, professional help, and Parental support combined make that the best chance of a good outcome.

[deleted account]

Ihave to say a child having ODD is not always destructive. My son who is 17 has ADHD and ODD and he was NEVER destructive still isnt.He does like to annoy people and act up and make noises once his meds are starting to wear off. I was told by our Dr that when they are going through puberty ADD/ADHD is also worse at times due to the change their bodies and brains are going through and the ADD/ADHD on top of that doesn't help and you just have to find a way to deal with it. As for the ODD it usually goes hand in hand with ADD/ADHD and spectrums of aspergers and autism as well. My son is on focalin xr and it does pretty well for him.

[deleted account]

At least now u know u r not alone. I was at a meeting tonight where i learned a few things I hadn't figured out over the past 4 years. Like that kids with ADD/ADHD don't develop as quickly socially as other kids so it is easier for them to play with someone a year or 2 younger. I also learned that the tantrums and lying are part of the illness not just her acting up. I just wish there was a way to help her "fit in" better I hate to see what is gonna happen as she gets older and people realize they can walk over her as long as they say they r her friends.

Louise - posted on 11/18/2010

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Definitely would be better if he is doing something of interest. I have three boys and work full time so you know what evenings are like, never mind the work I need to finish. I can't seem to manage as it is never mind trying to figure out what might interest him on a particular day. His interests change like the moon. The difficult part is that parents with kids like this don't come with extra time to just devote to do nothing else but give them undivided attention. I can't help but be upset at how challenging it is.

Alison - posted on 11/18/2010

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My understanding is that they annoy others for the thrill of the reaction. Maybe if you can occupy your child with something that he finds stimulating, he will no longer feel the need to provoke others.

Rhashidah - posted on 11/18/2010

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My dauther is 11 and we often have hectic mornings. She takes Focalin which works pretty well, when it kicks in. She's pre-adolescent and has all the symptoms--mood swings, irratibility etc. I think her ADD/ODD only manifests these symptoms. We've been watching her diet, no preservatives, additives processed foods, etc and have been giving her a complex b at night. it seems to help her in the morning, but I have heard that waking them up and giving them their medication works really well as indicated in one of the posts. our only concern is that we'll have to increase her dosage to account for the morning. if the b's start to wane. that's what we'll do. great reading this information. good to know you're not alone!

Michelle - posted on 11/17/2010

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I know how you feel we go through this every time my son comes home from his dads as they don't see the need for his meds and won't give them to him. When at home he is good he takes 20mg of Adderall xr and .75 of rispiridal in the morning when he wakes up, then he takes another .5 of the rispiridal after school to help him get through his after school activities which sometimes go until after 8PM. I also reinforce that he is still in control of his behavior without the meds and therefore not excused from bad behavior because they have worn off. So he is now trying to stay focused and non confrontational when his meds. I did however initiate a reward system that rewards him with cash for following through on good behavior my son likes money so this works for us.

[deleted account]

A trick I learned when they always don't hear u. Whisper that is what i ended up doing when talking wasn't getting through to my daughter it takes a lot more of their brain to hear a whisper. I forgot to mention that my daughter seems to less "annoying" to other when she takes an afternoon dose of her meds she takes Adderall XR at 7AM and regular Adderall at 1pm (mostly to make it through homework)

Treva - posted on 11/17/2010

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My 5yr old was dianosed back in Aug w/ADHD & ODD. She gets very upset when her 11 yr old sister annoys her (BTW my 11 yr old has ADD). They're both on meds but I can tell when my 11 yr olds meds wear off. We've started my 5 yr old on Intuniv and I have seen a difference. Not a big difference but small changes. Where before she'd hit, scream or run away in anger she's calmed down a little. I have to constantly remind her to be nice, we don't act that way, your sister is trying to help you or how do you feel when the shoe is on the other foot (when your sister annoys you). It seems like both of my girls switch roles just to see me pull my hair out. I've noticed when I keep both of them busy w/different things (it can't be the same thing/chore every every day, I have to rotate chores) then they don't annoy each other as much. I have 3 in our house that have ADD/ADHD (including my husband, he has the adult version) and all are on meds. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only sane person in the house....LOL

Paula - posted on 11/17/2010

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My son is 12 almost 13, he annoys EVERYONE to the point that he has no friends at all. I haven't found any help. I know this sounds crazy but, my recent ex-husband ( not his father) said part of the reason he was so unhappy was all the discontent my son caused in our family/relationship. I have worked with many doctors and have seen several therapist (for me and him) I really feel like I'm going I insane, I am willing to do anything!!! He is failing in school, if I tell him to do something he doesn't do it, if I tell him not to do something he does it, if I'm talking to him he "doesn't hear me" if I'm having a conversation with someone else he hears everything I'm saying and butts in. I am a single mom with a 4yo daughter and a 14 mo daughter also. I'm ready to scream!!! If anyone has any advise I am all open. I haven't found any discipline that affects him. He is on Concerta and Zoloft.

[deleted account]

YES my daughter only had ADHD and is pretty bad she screams at her 4 yr old sister constantly once the meds wear off. her aunt's neighbors kids only play with her because they like the 4 year old so I would have to say it has something to do with the ADD/ADHD. Though I am reading this thinking I should have her checked for ODD

[deleted account]

Try breaking up meds into two stages to get more effective treatment. Ask your doctor and by their permission, work out a earlier first dose and a short acting "kicker" or second dose in the early afternoon.
If you dose an hour before they are supposed to get up, you will find that part of the day is easier too. The short acting will give a boost for home activities and or homework. Distraction works well too.
Check ou CHADD.org for good information, support and advocacy.

Louise - posted on 11/17/2010

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Thank Michelle. My son is just right weight size and it wouldn't hurt him to gain a pound or two. I just want some peace in my home. He is the middle of three boys and we are always under fire at home. It is really hard... If he was calm in the evenings, we could see a bit of light at the end of the tunnel. I too worry about him being on meds for life. I guess deep down I am hoping that with maturity the need for meds will be reduced... may be wishful thinking.

Vicki - posted on 11/17/2010

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Look into Focalin. It has been wonderful for us. We don't like the time-release version, but the 4 hour pill is wonderful for our son and it didn't alter his personality a bit.

Michelle - posted on 11/17/2010

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Abilify is something my daughter was on, and is back on again after trying a different med (geodon). The abilify increased her appatite and gained weight on it. She needed to loose weight, not gain it! But the geodon was terrible for her moods. So she is back on abilify to stablize her moods. It seemed to work, but they wanted her to open up and talk more.
I never imagined I would be dealing with such strong issues as I am today. Glad you are learning so much! The more you research, the more you will learn.
One thing I question is are we over-medicating our kids due to society today? It will be a never-ending a question for me. I get concerned about this daily, and will never find the answer. I only hope it helps and I dont want my daughter to get addicted to them or needing them her entire life.

Louise - posted on 11/17/2010

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Yes we are doing the trial and error thing right now. My son is on Concerta 54 mg. At 3:30 I need to give him 10mg of straight ritalin. That gives us 3 hours so at 6:30 I need to give him another dose of straight ritalin. At 9:30 he gets .2 mg of Clonidine.



We have just tried going to 72 mg of Concerta to see if would last all day but no such luck and the rebound is even more severe. So we need to try something else.



I think our next trial will be something like abilify in the afternoon and then remove the clonidine. I want to see if that will help eliminate the sour mood, irritability, aggressiveness we get when the Concerta wears off.



Wow have we ever learned alot. I never would have even imagined having to deal with this...

Vicki - posted on 11/17/2010

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Louise, Talk to your doctor about another dose at 3:30. We had to move to the 4 hour tablets because the time-release capsules do not work for him. He takes a dose at 7:30, 11:30 and 3:30, which makes it the time he is awake. Figure out what works best for your child. Doctors like the time release capsules and continue to try to get us to change to them, but I don't like my son on them at all!!!!

Michelle - posted on 11/17/2010

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There is a DRAMATIC difference between ADHD and ODD. These two do not always go together but many times is misdiagnosed as having just ADHD then later to find out that it is ODD. ODD means Oppositional Defiant Disorder. These children are defiant towards authority figures, mainly adults. they do not just annoy people around them, they are destructive, uncompliant, refusal to do the most simplist of tasks, and so on. If your child is just annoying...it could just be the age or seeking attention. ADHD is more of pent up energy, not defiance. If you still have questions about ODD, please check out my group Mom's of children or teens with ODD/CD. Copy and paste the link. And let me know if you have any questions. http://www.circleofmoms.com/moms-of-chil...

Louise - posted on 11/17/2010

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That sounds promising Vickie. I also am envious that the meds last the rest of the day. I only get until about 3:30 and then rebound affect takes over and he is really out of control and seems to enjoy annoying everyone. It really makes life difficult...

Vicki - posted on 11/17/2010

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We have very difficult mornings as well before the medication kicks in. After the medication kicks in, we have are great the rest of the day. It is hard to keep calm and positive when every other child is behaiving and doing what they are suppose to do. I have to remind myself that he is struggling with other issues and it isn't all a choice. I have been working on trying to keep him aware of his behaviors and surroundings so he can learn how to recognize when he is "annoying" to others around him.

Crystal - posted on 11/17/2010

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Yes!! My husband and I are struggling also. Our mornings with our 10yr girl are so challenging. She bounces around, speaks in a baby-like talk, clueless of everyone around her and has to be reminded over and over again to get ready....all until her medicine kicks in. It's like a light switch, once it turns on, she is a functional, responsible 10yr old. She is also a gymnast so we only see her in the mornings and about a hour in the evenings during the week, which our her only times she is off meds. It's very frustrating for us because the time we are with her are very combative.

Laura - posted on 11/14/2010

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yes my 11 year old son has to annoy his brother and sister and dad all the time trying to start fights by pushing poking or just in their face until they have had enough

Donna - posted on 11/12/2010

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My son has ADHD and when his meds wear off he can drive people mad bouncing off the walls but you can't change it you just have to find ways of dealing with it. We always make sure that joes meds dont wear off until its bedtime and hen we have found calming ways to keep the situtation calm and we have down time away from things that stimulate him to much like TV and computers. We have baths with lavender bubble bath and we read relaxing bedtime stories and have cuddles that include soe deep pressure techniques and some massaging techniques. I have had to get lots of advice but both at home and school are using these and they really do work.

Teresa - posted on 11/11/2010

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yes my son has adhd and yes he is annoying but I have taken my son off of his meds . He has learned to use his ADHD to his advantage and the older he gets the better it gets and he has an understanding that if he is being annoying that he can go for a walk and this helps to relieve a lot of his pent up energy and it gives him a chance to collect his thoughts and a lot of the time I go with him and we talk and I have learned that if I talk to him in a calm manner that he calms down and so do I. I hope that this will give you a positive outlook on things

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