Mandi - posted on 01/01/2009 ( 1 mom has responded )
For many years now I have been taking my 9yr old son to therapist, psychologist and consolers for each of them to tell me the same thing, "He has ADHD." I know my son's behavior well enough to know that he is capable of shmoozing each and everyone that speaks to him. He goes in to talk to the Doctor, therapist, etc. with a smile, grin, and everything is fine attitude, and wins them over. He makes good grades as long as he is getting along well with his teachers and every time, I get the same report, " Seems to me, he is just being a boy". How frustrating to know that my 9 year old son can con and manipulate professionals in this matter. They usually put him on medications to pacify me and some have been very dangerous even causing PICA (eating non eatable items such as aluminum foil, money, chalk, etc.) symptoms. By the way that was Prozac.
At home we live a different world, one of torture and hell. My son is very small for his age. He is 4ft and weighs 59lbs. His height is something that he is very sensitive about and it doesn't matter who you are; if you say, "Hi little man," you are his enemy for life. This type of comment is made quite often from teachers at school, substitutes, mothers, etc. They just don't realize the emotional abuse it causes. When my son gets home from school, he lets all his frustration out on the whole family (Me, his grandmother, his sister 13yrs, and his brother 5yrs). Most of it is towards my daughter, he has pulled knives on her, thrown chairs at her, you name it, he's done it. At this point we don't even leave the two of them alone bc she is scared for her life at times. Last summer he caught his leg on fire and luckily I was coming out the door with a glass of water in my hands as I noticed his leg engulfed in flames. He often talks of wanting to die and of killing others. Also this summer he put the water hose in his bedroom window and left it on to flood his room. Now he sleeps in my floor in my bedroom. Not to long ago, I was cleaning the boy's room and helping them get things in order and they had marked all over some of the labeling that I had done the day before. When I went to talk to them and explain that it was wrong, my younger son understood and he took a spanking and helped clean up the mess. Kadin on the other hand, got his spanking, turned around, spit in my face, and pulled back as though to hit me. He then began to run from me, screaming that he hated me and wished I would die.
My son didn't used to be like this. He was a loving child up until he was three or so. He loved to pray for people and pretend that he was a preacher. If he saw someone in a restaurant that was in a wheelchair or handicapped, he would feel compassion for that person and walk over, lay hands on them and pray for their healing. It was amazing. As a matter of fact, Karen Wheaton came to our town and called my son out to have him pray over the children and the youth of our city. He had such a gift. Now he says he doesn't care if he dies and goes to hell, it breaks my heart.
I was recently in a herbal store looking for some answers and a woman walked up to me and told me that my son had bad allergies. She said does he always have these dark circles under his eyes? "Yes," I replied. Not knowing much about what was going on in our lives, she asked me a few questions and suggested that he may be gluten intolerant. I began to cry right there in the store. At that time, a very dignified lady came in and was purchasing some of the gluten free foods and I asked her if she had the allergy. She did as well as her teenage son. She hadn't been diagnosed long but she said since switching their diets, their lives have changed drastically. My son has been on Claritin for years. We knew he had allergies, but didn't know to what. If he doesn't take the allergy medicine, he gets a nose bleed almost daily. I have him an appointment on Monday with the allergy specialist and I cannot wait to find out the results.
I am not one of those parents that just accepts what one doctor says and puts my son on medication for the rest of his life. I'm fortunate enough to live close to Arkansas Children's Hospital in Little Rock and they will get down to the bottom of what's going on with my son. They have already decided that the FDA would approve him to be on growth hormones due to his size. He would probably on hit 5ft at his peek and I wouldn't want that for my son.
If any of you have gone through this please let me know. Doctors can be wrong and for our children's sake, We have to speak up and be their advocate.