Am I doing the right thing?

Andrea - posted on 05/11/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )

My son is 11 years old now and wasn't offically diagnosed until he was in 1st grade. We knew he had it but the doctors kept telling me he was too young to be tested. We first put him on medication because it was affecting his schooling he wasn't anywhere near the reading level he needed to be at for being a 1st grader. He was on adderal for a year and a half until it stopped working for him. We then put him on focalin for 3 weeks which didn't work so then we put him on vyanse which worked up until recently which started up setting his tummy. I now have 2 other children in my home and he has 2 siblings at his dad's house. But for 6 years of his life it was just him and i. I've had issues with him not listening and throwing temper tantrums. I'd take things away from him but now it does not phase him one bit. He says I don't care. We have him in a special program at school since about the 4th grade (took us that long to get them to notice he needed more help). He has come a long way since being in that program, he even goes to summer school every year. He is still a year behind in his reading but he is getting there. However for the past 3 months or so he just hasn't been himself. Him and I knock heads so much that I feel like if I don't stop I'll hurt him and that's the worst feeling ever. His dad, stepmom wanted to meet with myself and my boyfriend about how he just isn't happy and we need to do something. He told me he doesn't want to have to take him away from me now that it's pouring into their home. Lately it's been all out me having to carry a 76 pound boy out to the van to go to his dad's because either I wanted him to take a shower before we left or over a pair of pants he wanted to wear for the 4th day in a row. I have a 3 year old and a will be 7 month old on the 12th. I thought maybe it had something to do with the new baby but he just won't say. it got REAL bad here a couple weeks ago that he ran out of the house to his father's house (who lives a block and half away). His dad and I both agreed we'd give him what he wants and he wants to live with his dad and be with me every other weekend. No matter how much it hurts I have him to think of and my other children too. I can't think how it's going to make me feel. We just are not getting along right now and I just don't want to push him farther away from me. So I am giving him his space. He was with me over mother's day weekend and he had and out burst while we were at the zoo so i finally got him to leave with us. but once we were home he was fine. I usually have issues with him in the mornings and I'm to the point were i'm bawling all the way to work and having outbursts at work. I have however been diagnosed with Post Partum (just the emothional aspect of it) cried for 5 days in a row over stupid crap. My daughter spilled my pop and my pin numbers wouldn't work. So needless to say I'm getting myself better and going to give my son his space and hope that one day he will want to come back home. My mom doesn't think I should have allowed it but his dad doesn't want to go to court or care about the child support situation he just wants his happy boy back and so do I. i keep telling myself and my mom it's about Daylen and how he feels not how I feel. Because i feel if I force him to stay he will resent me when he gets older and he won't ever be around.