Anger and Frustration

Petra - posted on 09/10/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

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My son is 7 and was diagnosed with ADHD in May of this year. It was a hard summer. Everything is always a fight with him. When he gets mad he yells and won;t listen to me and sometimes holds his head like he's trying to slow his brain down. Anyone have any helpful ways to deal with this. I've tried talking quieter than him but he just gets louder.



What works with kids who have this in regards to get them to do things they don't want to do?



Thank you I'm sure I'm going to be asking for more advice because I'm at a lost because of this and it hurts to see my baby have to deal with this. I have a daughter who is 11 and has no understanding of what is wrong with her brother.



Petra

Minnesota

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10 Comments

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Paula - posted on 09/27/2009

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My 4 1/2 year old and I just started having him go into his time out place (which is his playroom) untill he can calm down when hes starting to have a meltdown or needs to calm down and regroup. Then he knows he can come back out when he feels hes ready to deal with stuff again.. this works most of the time

Jenny - posted on 09/19/2009

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Same here, my son 10 & also ADHD can turn into a total lunatic when it comes to do something he doesn't want to or when refused something. There's no talking to him when he's in one of those mood, the only thing that has worked for us is to send him to his room and ignore his attitude and comments until he calms down, which usually takes about 5 to 10 minutes, at the most half an hour. Then, once calmed down and back to his normal self, we can sit and talk about his reaction to it...and maybe find a way to make him do what he was asked.
We have agreed with our son that when his temper goes for any reason, he should go to his room and kick or scream as long as he wants until he feels better...His room's his place.

April - posted on 09/19/2009

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I have found that when my daughter is acting out she goes to her safety spot (which ironically is her closet) she can close the door and yell and kick her wall or just be alone. There are times I find her there laying down and when I ask her what is wrong she says "I just needed a break". Giving her this personal spot has allowed for her to have a little control over her surroundings. Alot of times kids with ADHD have no control over what's going on in their head. My daughter once explained to me its like the energizer bunny is running around and she can't catch it. The important thing with the safety spot is that it is not to be used for discipline. It is a place they can go to feel in control. Good luck ladies!

Pat - posted on 09/17/2009

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hi petra,hope u find some thing that works,good luck,sorry u request me on facebook and I pressed ingore had a stressfull day and did know who u was I remember now so if u want to request me again I will confirm u its just me mind is all over the place sorry once again,if u want any help or advice i will be happy to help pat xxx

Petra - posted on 09/16/2009

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Thank you for the suggestion. Yes this really does help. I like reading sbout the different ways to deal with him. I've been using some of the different ways other people deal with their children and have found what works what hasn't.



Thanks again

Pat - posted on 09/16/2009

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hi petra,my son has adhd and he gets angry and shouting and wont listen,but what Ive found is if I dont speak to him and just leave him he calms down himself when he is calm,I then talk to him and is ok,I found when they are like that and u try and talk to them it makes them carry on with being lound and stuff,I hope this is any help,if u want to talk here or add me on facebook,my son been diagnosed with adhd a couple of years now.good luck pat

Petra - posted on 09/12/2009

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My son acts the same way. Sometimes I just want to cry. He's on Aderall now and it seems to help. Me and his dad are trying to be more patient with him and it still gets frustrating for all of us. I'm so glad I found this site because I feel like I'm not alone in this.

Jackie - posted on 09/11/2009

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Petra,

I completely understand what your saying. My son who is 7 also has ADHD and anxity. They have been trying him on differend meds. for 2 years. He has just been put on vyvanse. So far he's been ok and has gotten better in school but at home when the meds where off, he's a completely different story. When his dad is at home is a different story. Sometimes it gets to the point that I think I'm gonna go crazy too. I also have a 5 and a 9 year old that don't really understand. Sometimes my 9 year old will say "Moma did you give Khristian his medicane? He is going crazy!" Or my 5 yr. old will say "Tell Khristian to hush, he's hurting my ears!" My son will cry for hours if he doesn't get his way. He will follow me around and get in my face and throw things. Everyday it is a challenge at my house. You never know what its gonna be like from day to day. Hope everything gets better!! Keep in touch.



Hugs,

Jackie

Petra - posted on 09/11/2009

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Thanks so much, I'll try that. Reading some other suggestions has made me think of different ways to cope and deal with my baby. I was just telling my daughter last night that the way me and their dad deals with her brother is gonna be different than how we deal with her. Thank God she is mellow and easy going.



Thanks again and I'm sure I'll be asking questions as I continue this journey

Brandy - posted on 09/11/2009

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i totally understand what ur going through.... my son has melt downs all the time even when on his meds... its like a battle with him to get him to do anything he dont want to do... sometimes he says things to us just to see if we are going to get mad at him to provock us... it is hard to see ur kid going through this... sometimes i just have to walk away and let it go... it makes u feel like ur going to go crazy... alot of ppl dont realize the stress in ur life when having a child with adhd.... they stress it has on the whole family... escepially the siblings... ur always having to yell at the child with adhd they keep u going sometimes i feel so bad for my youngest child like i havent spend enough time with him through out the day... and the stress on the relationship with ur partner... the only suggestions i can give is try the time out thing were u make him go to his room with no tv or anything and think about what he has said or done and that lets them cool off a little bit.... i have noticed with my son if i make him do that he cools off faster if he is alone in a room and has sometime to think... i dont know if it helps him concentrate on what is going on with him or what.... i hope this helps and if u ever have any questions just ask....

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