Any advice

Mandy - posted on 04/05/2009 ( 15 moms have responded )

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Hi, my name is Mandy. I have a son that is ADHD. He is 6 years old. I am looking to make friends with other mothers who have a child with adhd. I thought I was the only one with a child who has this problem. Its nice to see that there are other people you can talk to who understand what you are going through. Its been hard to deal with. My son is a very loving child but he also gets really bad mood swings and has a bad temper. He is also very implusive which scares me at time. He has broken windows, snuck out of the house on me during the day, has trouble at school with other kids and his teachers. My son is my whole world I just wish there was more I could do to help him. Any advice?

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Linda - posted on 04/28/2009

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Hallo Mandy! Yes, you are definitely not alone! I have some advice for you. Have you ever heard of Herbalife. Well, that was the cure for my son which is now 9 years old. His concentration at school changed completely and he can focus much longer on one thing then what he use to. It is a product called NRG. NRG stands for Natural Raw Guarana. Its essence is derived from the same guarana source used for centuries by the Amazon Indians. Anyway it is stress relief for hyperactive people, it contains a natural antihistamine which reduces the allergy in the body (hay-fever, asthma and sinus), it gives mental energy-alertness and enhance concentration. I can really recomend this for any ADHD children, because it worked for me. There is a website where you can read more about the product. www.healthjoy247.com

Good luck and let me know how it worked for you. Speak to you soon.

Amanda - posted on 04/27/2009

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I have also had to deal with ignorant and rude teachers, even principles. Anytime there is a problem they call me to come handle it. I can't even keep a job because they don't know how to handle the problems. My kids see the therapist, psychiatrist, family crisis intervention therapist and Act now therapist at school. I wonder when they have time to learn you know! My boys get so frustrated, but Kurt is my extremely aggressive one and the stupid therapist is like "maybe something is wrong at home!" I'm sorry but I wanted to say something to her but kept my mouth closed. I don't know what she was trying to insiuate but it ticked me off. Like I caused him to have ADHD and that's why he acts out or something. I don't know.

Amanda - posted on 04/27/2009

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Hi Mandy, I am Manda lol... I have twins that are 6 and they have ADHD and 1 has ODD also. Yeah, I don't know anyone else who has children with ADHD. I feel kinda all alone. I have lost several jobs because I've had to get my boys from school and they have been kicked out of a couple day cares. It's sad when some adults can't handle a child that has a issue like ADHD. They are so easy to just give up. If you would like to chat you can find me on facebook Amanda Gilbert, Dover DE. or we could just talk on here. I hope everything works out. I also have aggressive boys.

Pat - posted on 04/12/2009

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Hi mandy,I was like that thought that I was the only one but been on here and I relize Im not,I dont know what to suggest other then talk to him when he has calm down,my son who has got a bad temp to,and i find that when he calms down and I speak to him he does say he is sorry,if you want to talk either here or on facebook pat x

Leigh - posted on 04/12/2009

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Hi Mandy my name's leigh nd i also hav a child with severe ADHD my son Ben is 12 this tuesday nd he has it rlly bad he is very frustrated alot of the time as he cant do what normal kds his age do nd he dosnt understand why some children find him intimidating because of his compulsive behavior, but my son was diagnosed at the age of 7 and he was put on concertra 72mg and since his been on that he has calmed down to a point, my son goes to a special needs school as he has speech nd language nd learning difficultys, and i be honest with u babe it was the BEST thing for him as now he is improving rlly well at school and he has made alot of friends there as well as some o the other children understand about my sons disabillity as they have the same or simular problem's...



Like yourself my son is my whole world and i love him dearly but sometimes it can get hard nd we argue alot as his only 11 but i think he thinks his going on 18 half the time lol but honestly stick with it and when u find the right medication u will be able to deal with his needs a whole lot better..



Good luck hun nd if u need nything please feel free to add me honestly you are NOT on your own there are so many parents that go through the same  we do every single day, good luck babe  xx

Tina - posted on 04/12/2009

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My son is 8 years old and was diagnoised by his pediatrician in December (just before Christmas). I was reluctant to try medications and my husband really gave me a hard time saying I  was drugging our son. While I did try the medications for a few days the guilt was too much and I took him off after 3 days.



Then I did some research and have begun a new medication (no pills) its a patch called Daytrana and it has been so helpful to my little guy. 



My son is a honor roll student but the ADHD really effects him when it comes to impulse. He doesn't think before he acts, but since on the Daytrana it has helped so much. My son too has such a sweet heart that only really I and his sissy see.

Cheryl - posted on 04/11/2009

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Hi Mandy! Please add me to your circle as well as friends here on FB. I like to make friends and get to know others who understand what this can be like. My daughter Heather is 13 now. She is ADHD, Bipolar, ODD. Most of our family members and friends cannot understand that it can be like at times.



Does your son go to counseling? Is he on medications? Heather has been going for counseling and has been on medication since she was four. Her biggest difficulty is probably anger management although she also struggles with hyperactivity and being able to focus in order to learn.



When you say your son has broken windows can you tell me more about that. Did he throw something, punch them, etc. I am hoping he did it by throwing things and he was not injured.



When you say he is impulsive. Can you tell me more about that as well? Heather has been known as a flight risk and that means she will run away from teachers and such. She has almost ran into a street near the school with uncoming traffic. This has improved quite a bit over the years. However, as recent as last year she tried to climb out a window at school.



I know exactly what you mean when you say your son is your whole world and you want to figure out how to help him. As they say, have been there and done that for 13 years now.



Where do you live? I am wondering if he might benefit from wrap around services. Also he may qualify for a Big Brother as a mentor and that can be helpful.

Pauline - posted on 04/11/2009

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You're not alone Mandy. My almost 9 year old son has it too and he is handful to say the least.  What you've described so far is much what we have with my son. He has days where butter wouldn't melt in his mouth and days where you wish it were legal to pack him off to mongolia!  His temper is scary at the best of times, usually quite violent. He smashes windows ( I have a $1000 glass bill) he breaks toys of his and his younger brother's, he screams abuse and punches and kicks walls, doors or just anything that happens to be nearby at the time. People included.  A few times he has admittedly halfheartedly, tried to kill himself. He's held my sharpest knives to his throat, tried to stab his little brother, broken his older sister's rib and run out in front of a 4WD. When the outburst is over, he reverts back into the same quiet sweet little kid he was before it started. It's scary, its hard and it hurts to watch and endure but loving them, being there for them, helping them, is the best thing we can do for them. My son keeps telling me Im not his mum, I stole him from his real family... it hurts like hell to hear it but I refuse to let him get too far under my skin with it.  There are days it would be so much easier to hand him to his ddad and tell him to deal with it but at the end of the day, my son would grow up remembering that when he needed me most, I gave him away. I don't want that. I want him to grow up and say, yeah, I had problems growing up and my life wasn't so great because of my ADHD but while I lost friends over it, my mum was always there and SHE didn't give up on me.  You'll be ok Mandy, you'll cope and your son will thank you for it when he's older :-)



 

Rabecca - posted on 04/07/2009

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Mandy I cannot tell you how i just felt when you said that his teacher said that to you how dare she say that.first off if she had the nerve to say that she most likely is putting forth that attiude to him in her behavior I really hope you said something to his principle that should never come out of a teacher mouth how are you supposed to hear that and not be very hurt and not just that but how can he flurish in an environment where his teacher is displianing that kind of atttitude . I had to talk to caidyn principle because his teacher kept saying "okay smart mouth" to him and let me tell you I was crying mad when i called I just said this is what she is saying and it will not happen again I never talk down to him or degrade him in any way why would i let his teacher it is her job to make sure he feels welcome and confortable so he can learn . and to some kids that statement may not be such a huge deal but as with some he suffers from low self asteem and an adult talking to him like that was very defeating to him once again someone telling him he messed up we are constantly giving him posotive reinforcement at home hey some times it's cooky but it works and that maybe why we see a different kid at home. there was a point when I had to just drop in to visit school and everytime his teacher was rude or to hard on him i just gave her a look and shook my head after the class I gave her a huge amount of papers from the net that i had printed out on how teachers can better "handle" kids with ADHD so far I think my tatic worked .you know she may just not be that right teacher for him I would talk to his principle and say if she will put forth the effort he needs to be moved peroid. I like to think of my sons reaction as sort of a trickle down effect he does something wrong, teacher yells ,thats when he reacts to the yelling with worse behavior if perhaps the first reation of teacher or whoever were removed with a kind but direct that is not okay lets fix our problem he may not expand on his negative behavior he migh tnot get to a point that he cannot bring himself back from does that make sence.hang in there it will get better it is so hard to waltch the little love of your life go through somthing like this and really hard to having to tell them there is nothing wrong with them they are okay just the way there are when the school system keeps showing them they are not mesuring up to there standards but the best thing I can say is my son knows i am his campion I will do whatever it takes to make sure he is treated fairly and somthing tells me your son is going to feel the same about you

Mandy - posted on 04/06/2009

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Rebecca, thanks for the advice. My son sounds alot like your son was. It gives me hope to hear your story. I have been in contact with my sons school alot. I just dont think his teacher can handle him. we have had some problems with her. She told my husband that her class would be alot better if he wasnt there. It was heartbreaking but also made me very mad. My son can be a challange but he is also very outgoing lovable child. I just wish other people could see that. I have had my times where I would just break down and cry thinking I couldn't or didnt know how to handle him. Now I just take one day at a time and I am trying to get my son the best help he needs as possible. He is my world and there is nothing I wouldn't do for him. The only other problem I have is that the teachers think he might be bipolar also. But his doctor doesnt. He has really bad mood swings. Not sure what to think on that. Again thank you I can relate to alot of what you said.

Mandy - posted on 04/06/2009

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Thank you some much for the advice. Putting him in some type of activity is something to think about. I think he would really like that. He likes to be around other children. Just afraid the other kids wouldn't want to play with him. We have that problem at the park. He tries to talk to other kids but they usually just walk away from him. My son also is a bit speech delayed.

Rabecca - posted on 04/06/2009

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trust me you are not alone for years I felt the same way i had a feeling at a very early age that my son was ADHD my son was wild never slept and really i mean never he had to totally stop naps at about one because he would not sleep till 3 in morning if he took one.there was along time before we actaully got a real dx the doctors wanted to wait till school stared to see how he did well that was just a mess he was always in trouble plus he just has never thought he should listen to anyone but his dad or me they were not his parents and why did they think they could boss him around yikes his symtoms def. got worse after school stared for him. and really the school was not very helpful or understanding at frist they just saw him as a problem child and really couldnt see him for the kid he is which is really funny and creative and yes he 8 and thinks he's 18 but he has really got such a sweet and sensative soul but he just could not get any of that across to anyone besides his family and he really did try but he is very nervous all the time when he was out of his comfort zone he acted like a caged animal sometimes i would just beak down and cry because it was more than I could handle but we just kept at it there was a feew different meds we tried until we got it right but now I could not be happier and my son is so much more calm and he is happy because he knows he can get through they day without a visit to the office his grades have went way up so hang in there once you turn that corner believe me a kid that is confident and knows they can control thier behavior is so worth it

Heidi - posted on 04/06/2009

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I forgot to say my son is also on medication for his ADHD.  We have a wonderful pediatrician.  She also has a child and a husband with ADHD.  She has been so helpfull to our family.  I don't think I could tell her anything she hasn't heard before.

Heidi - posted on 04/06/2009

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Hi Mandy, My name is Heidi and I also have a 6 year old son with ADHD.  He started kindergarten and the beginning of the year was not good.  I have always pushed sports and cub scouts.  I feel this is the best way to get kids together.  My son has balance issues so some sports wouldn't be good so 3 years ago his teacher at the time suggested gymnastics.  He loves it.  He has met friends and feels that he is on a team.  This spring we are going to try baseball.  I don't know how that is going to go but all you can do is try and that is what we tell him.  Jared also has a whole team of his own from teachers to his occupational therapist to his social worker.  We are all behind him.  I can call any of these people and discuss what more we can do.  If your son is in school make sure you have him in all the programs he can qualify for.  If it wouldn't be for me calling the school with concerns my son wouldn't be in half of the programs he is in now.  We all just have to go day to day with our children.  Don't get frustrated.  You are not alone as you can see.  We need to love them and know that we know what is best for them and fight for that.  My son WILL grow up to be anything he wants to be.  Right now it's a police officer and a race car driver.  I will do anything to help him make that happen. 

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