are aspergers children happy?

Stefb79 - posted on 07/31/2011 ( 28 moms have responded )

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i was told my son could not have aspergers because he is happy and loving is this true?

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Teresa - posted on 09/06/2011

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aspergers is just one type of autism that manifests itself with high intelligence in focused areas, like academics. the other parts of the autism spectrum are still present -- social challenges, delayed psychological maturation, trouble with abstract ideas, reliance on rules and schedules to reduce anxiety, personal boundaries & space are a mystery, these sorts of things. but the kid is still a kid - he is happy or sad, loving or stand-offish as part of his personality, not so much as part of his disability.

Charity - posted on 08/03/2011

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Absolutely. My son has aspbergers and he is very happy and loving. There are many aspects of aspbergers and they can still be loving and happy He is very happy, loving, immature in many ways, "doesn't get" many social cues, has a super slow processing speed and other things that make him "Shaun" but I love him and wouldn't change him. He also has amazing memory skills and can hyperfocus beyond belief. We had my son evaluated by a psychologist and she was able to help us learn his strengths and weaknesses. Many people with aspbergers go on to do very well, just need to identify and encourage his strengths and work on their weaknesses. Good luck.

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Alexandra - posted on 08/27/2012

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Well.. I have Aspergers, and ADHD and was a very unhappy child at home, but I think much depends on the intelligence and compassion of the parents. I have noticed, now I've grown up, that all my Aspies friends have a certain thoughtful mindset. We are happy while engaged in whatever interests us, or when hanging out with other Aspies, but it is a bit hit and miss outside that type of environment. While dealing with other Aspies we can just tell the truth and never have to worry about tricky little things like 'tact' or people with hidden agendas.



So, I'd say it is their social environment that determines how happy your Aspie child will appear to be.

Kathy - posted on 08/26/2012

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Aspergers children are happy I have a son who is 8 years old, but I think as they get older they have a harder time dealing with relationships. My husband has aspergers and he is not happy he does not have friends nor any social skills, or emotional skills, but when Mike was in elementary and into high school yes he had a few friends that he can call friends, the other people were just acquaintices. As they get older there is always things to talk about apsergers have a very hard time keeping a conversation going that is why they do not have friends, or want to socialize with neighboors co-workers a work. Let me ask you ladies a question your husband that was diagnosed with aspergers how social is he at party's, with you, or his child? Please Reply Back to my post.

Brandy - posted on 09/13/2011

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Christina, out of curiosity, what meds is your son on? My step-son has Aspergers,depression and anxiety are a huge issue. He is on Strattera and Celexa.

April - posted on 09/13/2011

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I think so - where does it say anywhere on the Autism spectrum that Aspies aren't happy? Sometimes I look at my nine year old daughter (when she doesn't think I am looking) and I WISH I could be in her world. Her socialization issues are definitely different than mine but when she is in her world, I see nothing but massive smiles on her face, she is VERY happy. But she is also Aspie.

Brandy - posted on 09/12/2011

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My 8 year old son we think has aspergers. I am having the hardest time handling him. His constant outbursts of anger, screaming at the top of his lungs when he doesn't get his way and his overall mean attitude towards others is disrupting my whole family!! I love him to death but am at my wits end when it comes to dealing with this part of his personality. When he is happy and content he is a sweet little boy but most of the time he is out of control, throwing all out tantrums and saying he wants to kill himself have brought me to my my knees a few times!! HELP!!

Christina - posted on 09/11/2011

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My son was diagnosed at age 3 or 4. He is very loving and playful. He is 11yrs old and on meds to calm him and help with his concentration at school. When he's not on his meds he's fidgity and touchy. He has a great memory and he is very creative building things. He is very special but I wouldn't change him for anything.

Jane - posted on 09/05/2011

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No, it isn't true. People with asperger's can be quite happy.



One thing you might try if you are worried about his social life is to find him several adult mentors. My son has few or no friends his own age, but he has a mentor that works with him on cars, takes him fishing, and takes him riding. The mentor is slowly helping my son feel better about his abilities to interact with others and also makes him feel better about not having friends at school.

Tracey - posted on 09/05/2011

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No, my son has go aspergers, he is now 19 years old, and he has been loving all his life to me and clingy towards others. If anything he was OVER trusting of people and would go with anyone... it was a real worry at times. Whoerver told said this to you is talking rubbish.

Tracey from Scotland.

Karen - posted on 09/01/2011

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In a word NO aspergers does not dictate whether a child can be happy or loving but they will have mood swings and have a tendancy to lean toward the darker emotions but they also (like any child) can be happy loving playful and a pain in the rear

Bonnie - posted on 08/12/2011

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I have a 13 year old son with aspergers and he is one of the happiest, caring, loving boy!!! I Thank God every day for him :D.

We put him in sports such as football, baseball, and basketball. And no matter what sport he's in he seems to be a loner. It's hard for him to start a conversation with other kids. But we are hopeful that some day he will come out of his shell. And even if he doesn't as long as he's happy thats all that matters to us! Don't get me wrong he has a few friends whom enjoy hanging out with him. He has away of touching everyones hearts that he comes into contact with! I couldn't of asked for a better son.

Always and Forever,

Colton's Mom,

Bonnie

Annam - posted on 08/07/2011

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Absolutely! my son is 14, diagnosed at 12. He is very happy, caring. He has amazing memory and so easy to understand and communicate with. Encourage speech and get him to write his feelings. Like Ms Davies says keep encouraging him and see how far he can go! Good luck n best wishes!!!

Tracy - posted on 08/05/2011

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Stef ~ O know what you mean. That is where a good teacher can help. Masons teacher always introduced her students and told the class important things about each one like hobbies... She would say "This is Mason and he loves collecting rocks, caring for animals, the beach and riding his bike he is also hearing imparted and has ADHD and Anxiety so you all need to remember that and be patient with him. This will be a good lesson for you all." It was very helpful and the kids could ask questions. I have seen then defend Mason to kids that didnt know him by saying stop you are making him nervous or speak louder he cant hear you... things like that.

Stefb79 - posted on 08/05/2011

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That's what I've been looking into I'm sure he has that Thankyou I will look that up ;)

Becky - posted on 08/04/2011

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My oldest daughter was diagnosed ADD and OCD w/ social anxiety at 5 yrs old...after MUCH research and 7 yrs. later, I now believe it is a mild case of aspergers. Check into doing biofeedback (EEG's) for your kiddos...it helped me and my younger daughter with our OCD and ADHD, and definitely helped my older daughter too...people didn't even know we were doing them and kept saying "Wow, your daughter is TALKING to me for the first time"...people she'd known for years. Look up Margaret Ayers and biofeedback on the internet, then try to find a homeopathic Dr. who can administer the treatments. Drawback...pricy, but BEST MONEY I'VE EVER SPENT ON ALL OF US! Good luck... : )

Stefb79 - posted on 08/04/2011

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most kids are down right mean to him because he irritates them all the time i understand kids of that age would get really frustrated with him as he can wind me up to a point where i am going to explode so can understand them getting annoyed but i do feel sorry for him as he cant help how he is its just so frustrating i cant physicly make someone be his friend and cant make him be "normal" (not that id want to) hopefully he will make a few friends at some point

Tracy - posted on 08/04/2011

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My youngest son Mason has trouble making friends too.... he has tantrums still and other children think he is strange but he does have a few good friends that are "normal" but they have the same interests as Mason and other "normal" children think they are strange also. It's not that the other children don't like your son it's more like they don't have anything in common maybe? It's hard for us as parents because we always want our children to have friends but as long as your son is happy , not depressed and content I wouldn't worry there is plenty of time to introduce possible friends into his life.

Stefb79 - posted on 08/04/2011

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It's a nightmare isn't it if someone needs help then help we shouldn have to fight for years just to get help for our children

Maria - posted on 08/04/2011

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Your son sound exactly like mine especially with the friends and school issues.

Maria - posted on 08/04/2011

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I said the same thing to my doc, if he has traits of both why not support for both and all the doc said I don't know why. Lets just hope the out of area referral can do a better job.

Stefb79 - posted on 08/03/2011

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The teacher he had b4 he broke up for the summer was amazing with him she knew how to handle him completely sadly they change each year and now he's goin to a new 1 and he is a man who has always taught yrs 5 & 6 but obviously "Alex" doesn act that age group so I think it's goin to be a struggle his old teacher has explained to the new 1 about "Alex" si hopefully it won't be as bad as I'm thinking but scared he is goin to go completly downhill :(

Charity - posted on 08/03/2011

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We're getting a 504 plan for Shaun. It probably won't help with the friends issue unfortunately but at least it will help how the teachers deal with him and understand and maybe they can help guide him when he acts a certain way.

Stefb79 - posted on 08/03/2011

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Tracey that is exactly what I said to the ADHD nurse who told me point blank no he hasn't got any form of autism because he is happy which I now know is completely untrue. My son is happy and loving but really struggling at the minute he's nit makin friends and wen he does they last a few hours then want nothing to do with him he's behind at school spends all day with the teachers I just feel so sorry for him and want to help him but don't know how other than to get him diagnosed with whatever he has and take it from there

Tracy - posted on 08/03/2011

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Maria.... I honestly think it is difficult to make a range for issues like this. They have to draw a line somewhere and to determine where that line is is decided by the level of functionality your child has. The range is a point where a child can function successfully in society. Doctors determine that by how well they compare to their peers in school and social settings. Then there are children like yours that are "almost but not quite". They can still benefit from some of the interventions offered for each diagnosis.

Maria - posted on 08/03/2011

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I was told the same thing my son has traits of both ADHD & ASD but not enough of both to be diagnosed with either so have a non diagnoses for him. 1 of the reasons why is that he is a happy, loving child, even when I took him back to the doc's the doc who saw him (standing in for my doc) said I dont think he is ASD because he is grinning at me yet he has many of the other symptoms.

Tracy - posted on 08/03/2011

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What you are thinking is not true. Children with aspergers are full of joy and love. They just don't process information the same way as other children and might be immature in some areas and not in others. You are referring to Autistic children who have problems showing emotion.

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