At wits end!!!!!

Debbie - posted on 05/02/2013

I was browsing the internet the other evening trying to find answers to my relationship with my 6 almost 7 year old daughter and ended up reading some sort of question and answer blog where the book From Combat zone to Love at Home was discussed.  I clicked on the website and am thrilled that there is something like this. I purchased the book because of the guarantee, (I've tried everything it seems and at least I could get a refund if it didn't work.) Well, I'm here to tell you that it did. ADHD requires a pattern behavior that can be repeated over and over. The happy face token system uses a unique reward list that requires the repetition of behavior patterns to be able to use it. I had a son come to me and say, " Mom, don't you think I've tried hard enough to be able to cash in my tokens?" He was just repeating what I usually say so he can get a reward, but with the program, I gained the strength to say, "you have been trying very hard. Do you think you could...(behavior issue) the next time and you will earn enough tokens to use the reward list. It seems that I had a tendency to cut him slack when he could accomplish the task if I helped him see the goal better. To his excitement and mine, he actually accomplished his goal and got the reward. He is doing so much better and it's helping me see that he can do what is necessary and mean what I say. It truly is a remarkable family program that is adaptable to the needs of most behavior issues. This book is full of battle plans for success and raises the confidence level by leaps and bounds for both child and mother. I would recommend it. Here's the link: http://yourethebestmom.com

Darci' D. - posted on 04/18/2012

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Darci' D. - posted on 04/18/2012

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27 NEW People are working from home so far the month of APRIL 2012
“Guiding others to a path of freedom each day!”

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Julie - posted on 03/06/2009

I don't know if I really can help but I will offer my suggestions anyway. My children are 5 years apart. My son is 9 and my daughter is 4. My son has ADHD/ODD and a mood disorder. When my daughter was born he was very excited but it was short lived. Several months after her birth he developed a vry hateful attitude. He was mean to everyone except the baby. As my daughter got older he then started being mean to her. He would yell at her and raise his fist as though he was going to hit her and now that she is 4 and aggrivates him all the time he will hit her. We started taking him to behavior therapy which he seems to like doing but have found that he he acts out most of the time due to lack of one-one attention from me and his dad. I guess he feels as though he was replaced when we had my daughter. One thing we have tried to start doing is set a day each month aside to do something with just him, I also try in the evening to go in his room with him for 20 minutes or so and just chat about anything he wants to say. I have noticed that giving him this individual attention has helped a liitle and I am hoping in time it will get much better. The hard thing to remember is that these things take time. It is not something that will change over night and it most times takes more than just one thing to correct the issue. I hope this has halped even if a little. I know the struggle is hard and even more so when you are raising them alone. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Good luck.

Jojo - posted on 03/06/2009

hello yer my son who is 15 he has ADHD and it can be well hard but now his on tablets he has carmed well down it's like i got a new son they realy help

Shirley - posted on 03/05/2009

Hi.  I just saw your posted note and I know how difficult these situations can be.  I don't think there is any one solution - each child & family are different, but I can tell you briefly my story of a similar situation.  i have 4 teenage adopted children - all with disabilities to one degree or another.  My daqughter is now 15 and was born coccaine positive and had many difficulties as a very young child, but has overcome most of them  and is a beautiful teenage girl doing very well.  My 3 teenage sons have not been quite so fortunate.  Two of the boys, ages 15 & 14 were also born coccaine positive and also have been diagnosed with fetal alcohol syndrome, ADHD, anxiety, & depression.  The 15 year old has some difficulty with socializaation skills and some learning disabilities but for the most part is doing quite well and is a wonderful young man.  The 14 year old is a very different story and faces many more challenges.  His behavior is very rude and he lacks the ability to control his behavior & temper.  He tends to aggravate the others, is very impulsive and when having a difficult time can be very aggressive..  I also have a 13 year old son, also coccaine positiive at birth and has a diagnosis of ADHD and conduct disorder.  This child also can be very aggressive and have times where he loses is temper and will get very aggressive.

We have tried all types of interventions for the two with such aggressive behaviors and some with not much success.  We have had CIS services brought into the home which were helpful for  a time.  Individual counseling can also be a great help if thelp as well as behavior modification programs.  We have recently had to hospitalize the 2 boys with the aggressive behaviors because safety became a big concern.  Both of these boys will go into residential treatment centers for a whild to work intensely on the behavior and anger management  skills they need to be successful.  The hospitalization and residential programs seemed like a drastic step to take, but in the long run will be very beneficial.

I understand the anguish that goes along with having children with these types of issues and I wish you the best for you and your children.  Please know there is light at the end of the tunnell - it is just finding what works best for your family - whatever it takes to ensure everyones safety & bring some harmony to the home.  It can be a long road - but it caqn also be a successful road - don't be afraid or ashamed to ask for help (we all need it from time to time)

My thoughts & prayers will be with you & your family

                                                                                                Shirley