Lisa - posted on 03/05/2009 ( 6 moms have responded )
Hi. I'm just wondering if there are any other moms out there who have a child with a disability and a teenager that can't seem to deal with it? I really don't know what to do. They are 14 and 6. There is a big difference in size, and my 14 year old has major teen attitude. She is very sarcastic (she gets it honestly) and she is very rude and ignorant with the tone she uses to speak to her sister. Averi is very sensitive. She has ODD and ADHD and you just can't deal with her that way. She will just escalate and it's got to the point that she is hitting Sara with her belt now. However Sara does push her to that point.
I deal with a disability myself. I have multiple chemical sensitivities and sometimes it's very hard for me to do daily tasks let alone deal with all this. I need to do something to make it better but I don't know what. I have tried counselling for my older one, but that didn't work out. I spoke with Sara about it and she says she can't handle Averi's behaviors. She screams a lot and has a very high pitched loud voice. It just goes right through ya. Literally makes your ears ring. I sympathize with Sara but I can't seem to get her to understand that it's just not helpful for her to be responding to her like that. It just makes things worse and that much harder for me to calm her down. I told her that if we can't figure something out, my job is to do what's best for the two of them. So, if that means separating them (which I swore I would NEVER do) by sending Sara to live with her father, then I will. He lives in Cape Breton, so isn't much help with the daily crap you deal with when it comes to teens with attitudes ( not all teens have them).
Any suggestions you have would be greatly appreciated. I really would like to find a solution without having to send her to live with her dad.