DR's are making me MAD! by not really seeing my kid!

Marissa - posted on 11/28/2011

My daughter see her pediatrician for med management. He listens to what I have to say and any of my concerns. That is why she only sees a counselor to discuss her issues being an army brat is hard for her. She was less stressed while her dad was deployed than she was when is home. Like I said sometimes the counselor seems to help sometimes she seems worse after her appointment We go next week to discuss other issues with the counselor like her aggression toward her sister but only when the meds wear off or before she takes it in the morning. Anyway keep the faith it will be ok it is stressful and it will always be stressful but some days r easier than others.

Veronica - posted on 11/28/2011

Marissa, yes Ian has seen several different dr's he has taken a few different meds Concerta, strattera, adderall and now back to strattera because that seems to be the best of all. The Adderall made him crazy! It lasted only two weeks. It made me crazy to. I was actually worried for him. I have an appt for him for an actual child psychiatrist on the 3rd finally for med management . Not just a pedatrition.

Veronica - posted on 11/28/2011

Marissa, yes Ian has seen several different dr's he has taken a few different meds Concerta, strattera, adderall and now back to strattera because that seems to be the best of all. The Adderall made him crazy! It lasted only two weeks. It made me crazy to. I was actually worried for him. I have an appt for him for an actual child psychiatrist on the 3rd finally for med management . Not just a pedatrition.

Marissa - posted on 11/27/2011

I noticed u mentioned military insurance. R u going to military facility or private facility. If it's a military facility it will takes months (or more) of fighting with them. It took me 5 months to get them to help me change my babies formula I had to fight with them about her being constipated for days at a time.I find out 10 years later she is lactose intolerant. If it is private do research ask friends and all and find a counselor in your area who takes your insurance and demand your Dr get him a referral to that Dr.or call Tricare and ask where there is one near u can u go with out a referral. I take my daughter to a local sliding scale counselor because I don't like the one I was referred to he didn't seem to interested in diagnosing her since she was only 5 then. she finally got diagnosed by the best pediatrician in our area 2 years later. he didn't send her to counselling until we had her medication right. Since then she goes at least twice a month. I go in tell her counselor how things have been since the last visit and then I leave them alone for about an hour. sometimes it seems to help sometimes it seems to make her worse. She takes Adderall has been taking it since the beginning we have had to change her dose several times we started at 5 that didn't work so we raised the dose until we got to 15 which worked until for about 2 years then about 2 years later her dose was raised again. She is now 5 years in on her meds and taking 25mg of Adderall XR EVERY morning she doesn't get any days off if she does she seems to get in a really bad mood

Jasmine - posted on 11/15/2011

Please keep being wise and tough for your kid! You don't know how bad it is in Taiwan. We can hardly get any help form anywhere. Not even the doctors. Don't go crazy! We are the most important ones for our kids!

Jane - posted on 11/14/2011

I am afraid this is how life tends to be with ADHD kids and with military medicine. There are not enough good psychs around so there are tremendous waiting lists, and Tricare doesn't seem to be able to winnow out the really bad docs.

We were assigned to one whose actions drove my son into residential treatment. Tricare didn't pay any attention until she lost her privileges at the local psych hospital by having a screaming fight with her lover, another doc, in the lobby, and then followed it up by abandoning her practice. We were also assigned to the base psychologist, who was a very nice person, but who really was trained to cope with PTSD in adults, not ADHD in children.

One thing I suggest is that you start keeping a behavior diary. It will help you understand any cycles that your son goes through, and recognize triggers as well as behaviors that help him cope better, and it will document your observations for the doctors that you do see so they have a chance to understand your son. Doctors are scientists and they really do best with detailed and documented observations.

Something you also need to know is that as kids grow and mature they will have to have their meds adjusted. The amount of Concerta that works one year will not work another. Also, kids who respond to Ritalin (which is what is in Concerta and Metadate) often don't respond to Adderall, which is an entirely different medication. And sometimes it is the dosing that needs to be changed, not the medicine. My son started on Ritalin, was changed to Concerta, which is a time-release form, and then was changed to Metadate, another time-release form but one that releases in a different pattern. Now that he is 17 I suspect he has matured enough that Metadate will be the proper one for him.

He also takes Guanfacine (aka Tenex, the same med that is available as a time-release med called Intuniv). This helps him control his anger and aggression. He also happens to be ODD so anger will always be a problem for him. The Guanfacine makes a big difference.

OTOH, my daughter does beautifully on Adderall. Up through high school she managed her ADHD through sports, list-making, and teamwork. Once she got to college, though, she needed a bit more help and Adderall seems to do the trick.

In addition, psychiatrists generally only do medication management these days, while psychologists do the talking therapy. Yes, a pediatric specialist would be ideal, but those are few and far between. We have exactly one child psychiatrist in our town of 245,000. Just one. And Tricare lists a total of three child psychologists that are acceptable, two of whom are not accepting new patients.

What you need to do is learn enough about ADHD, ADHD medications, and your son that you can serve as an advocate for him. Over time you will learn how to tell a doctor what your son needs in a way that the doctor accepts so that medication changes will be more effective.

In addition, you should do a bunch of reading about coping mechanisms that help with managing ADHD and teach them to your son (it will be an ingoing project until he is fully adult). These include things such as using lists to stay on task, using exercise to make it possible to sit through class, and finding the right career path (many ADHD people end up as coaches, waiters, helicopter pilots, used car salesmen, surgeons, mechanics, and folks who do dangerous sports).

You will also want to work with your son to help him become self-reflective, so that he can tell when he is getting "fired up" as we call it in our family. He can then also put into motion one of the coping behaviors that work for him.

Good luck! It is a long road but can be a rewarding one.

Veronica - posted on 11/14/2011

@ michelle, he has seen 2 different peds psychiatric DRs. the problem with our system is this, our primary care dr doesnt refer us to a specific psych DR we get the referal and then they say Pick from the "list" and when I ask if there is a suggestion on who to go to? the answer is no sorry jst pick one. but I am hoping the 3rd time is a charm with the peds psych b/c this time I got a reccomendation from a good social worker I found who works with ADHD kids. my son doesnt respond well to meds so I get frustrated. I was having a morning! I feel better now after having vented.

Michelle - posted on 11/14/2011

Is he seeing a pediatric psychiatrist or a normal one for adults cause my son sees a pediatric one and he talks to my son through the whole consult not me until the end and a decision needs to be made. Go back to your dr. and ask for a referal to a pediatric specialist in adhd hope this helps