Fresh Persepective, New to it all

Sarah - posted on 01/05/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I have two main reasons for posting:
1. I've learned that sharing my experience can and will help someone else eventually.
2. I could use support from others who have more knowledge, experience and understand.
My situation:
In the last year we have learned that my DH and DS1(age6) and DS2 (age3) have sleeping disorders....DH and DS1 have the same. DS2 due to iron deficiency. Watching DS1 to for signs of ADHD and assessing in the spring. DH and I nearly separated recently until a therapist asked the question if there is potential of an ADHD issue at all? My husband answered that yes, he felt he had symptoms. He is being assessed currently for ADHD. And so I'm doing my research and feeling a lot of relief because of all the options to help our life feel less crazy, more calm and avoid some of the really icky situations we've experienced. I hope this is a place where I don't have to give all the details because I'm talking to a group of folks who have been there, right?!
I'm also implementing tips and tricks and DH is too at home and in our lives to simplify, simplify, simplify! Declutter, organize - I've been having somewhat of a minimalist attitude. If you google what it means to be a minimalist please note that I do not ever plan to be a radical minimalist...they don't have traditional beds, I love my bed. Back to the point, I have new reasons besides my own preferences for having a super organized, super clean and systematic home. It sure leaves less available for DH and DS1 to be distracted by. And it will help keep in front of them whatever it is that needs to be done.
I've found in all the literature I've been reading that while not an excuse there are explanations for just about every situation I've felt was hopeless and there are suggestions out there to help. I'm so looking forward to this journey, for it seems to have many more positive possibilities than we've been dealing with for some time. Both DH and DS1 are medication for their sleep disorders/RLS but nothing yet for ADHD. we will take things slow and do the research.
I'm looking for tips, tricks and support. A positive boost, a reasurring comment.
Thanks all!

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5 Comments

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Hillary - posted on 01/12/2011

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I just want to add another book for you. I got it when my son was diagnosed with ADHD, sensory integration disorder and impaired impulse control (we are having a full evaluation done in 6 months to see what his final full diagnosis is). Anyway the book is called "Raising your Spirited Child" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. I have found it to be a great a book and is helpful not only for the spirited child, but for the spirited parent as well. It has been a staple in our home and has helped us tremendously since we have 4 kids, two who are "Spirited", and two who are not, as well as myself who is spirited. (my youngest is spirited but is only 2 so hasn't been assessed as of yet. )
Good Luck on your journey, and remember, most of the traits our spirited children have, are seen as assets in adults. Many spirited children are the ones who grow up to be great lawyers, politicians, doctors, actors, comedians, etc. due to their unique way of looking at the world.

Ashley - posted on 01/12/2011

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Sarah - What a blessing that you and DH were able to find the root of your challenges and stay together. How awesome! :)



I have two books to add to your reading list. One is for DH and one is for kiddos.



"You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy: The Classic Self-Help Book for Adults with ADHD" by Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo

-- This book starts with helping you understand and accept how ADHD is part of who you are; it then moves into dealing with all of the baggage that comes along with living for years (or decades) with ADHD; and, then it helps you find ways to live productively and happily (organization, simplification, etc. - all the things you had in your post, but with practical ideas).



"SuperParenting for ADD" by Dr. Edward Hallowell

-- This book helps you create parenting strategies that will foster an environment where you can help your ADD child understand and accept herself, learn to compensate for her challenges and find/capitalize on her strengths.



I highly recommend both of these books and hope they help. They are both an easy read.



Every day is a challenge. Set aside alone-time for yourself to meditate and create calm. Keep meeting each day with a positive outlook. It can/will get better! ...I keep telling myself that! LOL!



Looks like you're well on your way :)

Sarah - posted on 01/05/2011

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Thank you, keep 'em coming!

Jennifer - posted on 01/05/2011

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its a long road and its nice to have feed back and know there are others dealing with the same kinda stuff.we have 3kids all have ADHD and our oldest has ODD as well.i was not wanting to try meds but once we did i wonder why we waited...good luck on this slipper road we are all on!

Amy - posted on 01/05/2011

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It's always good to try natural (even environmental) solutions first! Be open to meds (sounds like you are), and do lots of research. At least for me, I feel more empowered when I understand what's going on. It's an illution of control, I suppose, but at least I feel more comfortable with medicating my son. I did NOT want to medicate. I tried a diet change and supplements, which had a very small effect. I decided to take the leap to meds, and I'm so glad I did. He's a different child. Different, but the same, if that makes sense. It's terrifying. But it was so worth it.


Good luck with your journey! Sounds like you have a lot of work ahead! It will all work out. :)