Has anybody had any trouble with their older kids having accidents?

Brenda - posted on 02/13/2011 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My son is going to be 12 in 4 months and it seems like he should have his bathroom habits down by now but if he is not sent to the bathroom every so often, he will have an accident in his pants.

He says that he can't feel that he needs to go till it's too late, (and I'm amazed he hasn't had any bladder infections from trying to hold it) and it can be so aggrevating to find when he has wet his pants. Every so often when he's deeply involved in something i'll send him to go even if he doesn't need to. It seems like he really doesn't care if he makes a mess in his pants and I just don't understand it. Sometimes i will find that he has done it and it trying to hide it and i'll find wet pants in his room. Punishment does no good. It can be very flustering.

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Barb - posted on 03/14/2014

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Yes....all that you said above is like describing our son. He is 13...a triplet and was born three months early. He does battle with some sensory processing issues, which we have been working on but...this bathroom thing, no one that we have seen has made any connection with this until a new and amazing OT Doctoral therapist we have found. It is painful, concerning and frustrating. Our fears are....how will he keep a job, get married, have friends that last. It makes our hearts heavy....

Barb Anderson in Monument, CO

Amanda - posted on 10/18/2012

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my 9 yr old daughter was born with autism and is still havin accidents in her pants.i get frustrated with her n then fel bad afterwards.

Lorrie - posted on 02/20/2011

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Wow yes, I have two boys 10 & 6 Both with ADHD, Odd, Sesory issues, and the 10 yr old has an oral fixation they have a few friends not many what makes me most sad is they have no friends in school and they are never invited to parties from school My older son is starting Middle school in July and he acts more like a 7yr old he doesn't act his own age and the other kids notice he is different. My husband and I are so scared for him. It is so nice to know we are not alone it this with our children.I 'am hoping once we get my 6yr behavior under control he will be able to makes some friends he is on focalin 5 mg two pills in the morning with brightspark it is a natural homeremedy. His brother takes the same 10 mg 1/1/2 morning then another after school I put my son zack in Gymnastics after school he loves it . My son Jake starts swimming in march.

Heather - posted on 02/16/2011

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My 8yo daughter has problems with this. It's the most frustrating part of her ADHD to me, because I don't understand it. She gets bladder infections from holding it and also from not cleaning herself up after an accident. I'll come home or come in the room and can smell that she's had an accident, but when I ask her she says no. So, I feel her clothes and see they're wet and have her clean up and change. If I don't notice it, she'll stay in the dirty clothes. She also feels like she's getting in trouble when I notice it. Punishment does not work at all, with this or any other behavior problems, I've learned. All I can do at this point is give her a cranberry supplement to help prevent any bladder infections and constantly check to see if she's wet. It's a big bummer for me and hard on her self esteem :( I feel your pain!

Jane - posted on 02/16/2011

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My son at sixteen still has problems with his bathroom habits. He has improved but I still require him to go before he gets on the bus in the morning and before he goes to bed. He does indeed have accidents still both during the day and at night. However, he is now aware that this is not normal and tries to hide the "evidence." He is also very sloppy so I mop the bathroom floor several times a day.

Instead of punishment consider setting either a schedule that he has to follow or use a timer to tell him it is time. Then reward him for being successful. If you feel his accidents still need consequences, teach him how to do his laundry or how to mop the floor or clean the toilet when he has an accident.

From what I understand kids with ADHD as well as those who are bipolar really don't sense when they need to go, or will ignore the signs because they are hyperfocused on something. The part of the brain that covers bladder control seems to be late in developing in ADHD boys in particuler, plus they often either sleep so deeply or focus so strongly on something that they really don't notice the body's alarm signals. Teaching him to build in routine bathroom breaks throughout the day can be a life-saver.

MaryEllen - posted on 02/16/2011

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there are meds to help with this it could be that he has a shortage of the hormone that tells the body when it has to go and tell the bladder to retain the urine so getting to the bathroom is more successful

[deleted account]

I went through this when my son was about 9 and 10. I agree--my son didn't seem to care either. We even had him tested for seizures. He would wet the bed. Wet himself at soccer, at school...it just didn't matter and the worst part was he seemed oblivious to it all. Thankfully, he has stopped. He will be 13 in July so just hang in there!

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