Help! my daughter has ADHD and Bi-polar..dealing with a major problem

Juanita - posted on 04/27/2011

Hello there I am sorry to hear your situation. I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. My 16 year old has the same issues and it has been a struggle for many years. I have taken her to counslers all her life it seems, just recently I took her to hospital to get help because she was out of control. They basically told me if she hasnt tried to kill herself or someone else they couldn't help me. They sent her to see another counsler and she tells me she believes that she is struggling with border line personality disorder. I asked her about the bipolar diagnoios and she said that is still a possibility but her mood swings are very freguent she can be ripping my head off one moment and skipping through the house in the next ten minutes. Where with bipolar the mood swings are in longer cycles. She is living with my sisters for awile so we can work on things. but just know you are not alone and pray pray pray. A good book she had me read was call I hate you but dont leave me. Hang in there

Jennifer - posted on 11/14/2009

My name is Jennifer and I just recently joined. My daughter is 5 yrs old, My one question is hopefully easy to answer. What are the symptoms of adhd and bipolar for children. My ex- husband has both and I'm worried that she may have them. I cant get her to sit still and concentrate. She is very demanding and then can be lovable I am not sure if this is anthything medical or just her testing me. I also am a single mom with a very loving boyfriend but it is literrally ripping my heart out.I feel like I am always yelling or correct her instead of enjoying her.

Kimberly - posted on 11/13/2009

I have a teenage daughter who was first dx w/ ADHD & ODD at 2 1/2. It is very exhausting that's for sure. I have done a lot of research on ADHD. The stealing is due to their impulsivity that comes w/ ADHD. these children are constantly needing a new stimuli that is why they steal. They are also masters at manipulation. They lie constantly. The ADHD child doesn't fully grasp the reasoning behind consequences. They also often lack short term memory skills. Be careful of inpatient treatment. I tried this receently over the summer. In some ways it was helpful and in some ways it increased her depression. In these facilities there are many childrn with different situations. Some of them constantly fight w/ other kids & een staff. My daughter was assaulted by one child & she isn't even violent. That was the first fight she had ever been in. Start w/ counseling & see if the counselor can offer ideas how to control the impulsivity. Medication may need to be an option. especially since you have oter children that need your attention too. My daughter constantly demands my attention due to always getting into things & situations. It is very stressful to my son. My child is now being monitored for possible bi-polar disorder. Which runs in my family as well. researching the disorders will help you to uinderstand what she is going thru. The ADHD child thinks differently than a normal child. Toppled w/ bi-polar it will be even more difficult for you and for her as well. try counseling first & consider meds. Use inpatient as a last resort. Understanding the disorders will help you first to be able to help your child. Good luck I know it's tiring but hang in there!

Kim - posted on 10/29/2009

great to hear! it can be sorta like camp, it gets you away from the day to day. definitely is helpful but as she said 'you do not want to go to the hospital.' as an adult receiving treatment on several occasions i only knew of once that someone was sedated but she had become a friend and it may have been necessary for others and i just didn't know about it. to go through this as a child must be even more frightening. praying she does not need this much in her life. good luck. kim.

Jennifer - posted on 10/28/2009

Quoting kim:

jennifer, i am so glad you agree with my advice, when i saw that someone responded i got nervous-wasn't sure of others reaction. i am glad that your daughter was treated effectively and her stay brought her through such a rough,horrifying state of mind. i know that hospitalization was a life saver for me! going toe to toe with demons of a bi-polar episode is more than i could have handled without med. tweaking and some incredible therapy groups. i have four kids and am concerned that my illness ( i have a sis and an aunt w/it and possibly mood disorders in my parents that are undiagnosed) will fall on one or more of them. it terrifies me when i think on it, please pray for me if you believe, i would much appreciate! the hospital can save a life but it is also a scary situation and with stigma for adults. so thinking of my child there is no fun. how did she feel about it? did she talk with you on the phone while there or did you meet w/ her daily? curious.

i will absolutely pray for you and your family. my dd doesn't open up very often, but we did speak by phone and visited as often as they let me, usually weekly or bi-weekly.  Sometimes she said she missed me, sometimes she seemed like she was too busy to talk, almost like she was at camp or something.  I remember after she came home her little sister said " i wanna go to the hospital! They have jello and ice cream!" Jordan became very serious and sad and said "You DO NOT want to go to the hospital. If you are bad and throw a fit they hold you down and give you a shot."   I just hugged her and then had to go to my room and cry; it broke my heart to hear her say that. No child should have to deal with this stuff.  I wish I could take it from her and deal with it myself.  That said... thank God she is doing so much better now. Her meds are helping and she is back in school and even playing basketball!  =)

Kim - posted on 10/27/2009

jennifer, i am so glad you agree with my advice, when i saw that someone responded i got nervous-wasn't sure of others reaction. i am glad that your daughter was treated effectively and her stay brought her through such a rough,horrifying state of mind. i know that hospitalization was a life saver for me! going toe to toe with demons of a bi-polar episode is more than i could have handled without med. tweaking and some incredible therapy groups. i have four kids and am concerned that my illness ( i have a sis and an aunt w/it and possibly mood disorders in my parents that are undiagnosed) will fall on one or more of them. it terrifies me when i think on it, please pray for me if you believe, i would much appreciate! the hospital can save a life but it is also a scary situation and with stigma for adults. so thinking of my child there is no fun. how did she feel about it? did she talk with you on the phone while there or did you meet w/ her daily? curious.

Jennifer - posted on 10/26/2009

Quoting kim:

make sure the psychiatrist knows everything and if you still consider in-treatment and it is advised by doc make sure to check with other parents who have children in this situation. being in the hospital gives focused care but it's also very important to know what will happen when she comes back home and to school. this adjustment will be important if she has in-care treatment. getting back in 'the real world' can be quite difficult. she may have a tough time with that aspect. good luck

I agree, and you might also see if there is some kind of step-down day treatment available so you can transition from inpatient to home/school.  . This was very helpful for us. And consider giving the school as little info as possible unless you're using an IEP or BIP. People talk and kinds can be cruel.  I recommend in-patient as a last resort for meds management during periods of severe instability and when the child is threatening harm to themselves or others. My daughter definitely needed inpatient care, but along with that care she was exposed to children much sicker than she was and not only learned some pretty nasty behaviors she didnt have before, but also some REAAALLLY nasty language. She came back dropping F-bombs when she got mad. (10 YRS OLD!!!) 

 However, that is a small price to pay to bring my girl back from the darkness of wanting to hurt herself or kill her 4 yr old sister.  I hope I don't sound like a know it all. I just know what I wish someone had told me. I've learned it all the hard way over the past 3 1/2 years.

Kim - posted on 10/26/2009

make sure the psychiatrist knows everything and if you still consider in-treatment and it is advised by doc make sure to check with other parents who have children in this situation. being in the hospital gives focused care but it's also very important to know what will happen when she comes back home and to school. this adjustment will be important if she has in-care treatment. getting back in 'the real world' can be quite difficult. she may have a tough time with that aspect. good luck

Jennifer - posted on 10/26/2009

Quoting Brandy:

THIS WAS POSTED BY ANOTHER MEMBER "Is your daughter on medication? Do you know that most adhd medication makes bipolar worse? Your Psych should know this. Is your daughter in counseling? You have to make sure the lying doesn't just get swept under the carpet. Have consequences for the lying and be consistent with it. If you take away something precious to her, pretty soon she'll come to understand that you're serious and the lying must stop. I have two children with biplar and adhd. It's difficult. But the right meds can make a huge difference too!" THIS IS MY RESPONSE: ( not yelling)


My son and I are, Bipolar and ADHD. My son takes Topamax with Concerta and I take Topamax with Addreall, for the last yr. We go to the Med. Dr. Bi-weekly and Counseling every Friday. So the comment about making Bipolar worse, I feel that is based on Opinion not FACT! It all depends on the person, what worked for your child or my child might not work for hers. I thought the whole idea was to give a little piece of what worked for us. Not give opinions stated like Facts!
I don't mean to sound rude but I have come across a few naive people. Who were mis-informed about important issues that could have been avoided.

AMEN!!!  My DD is on 4 meds for her BP symptoms, and she is doing great, but until she gets her Adderall in the AM she is a wild woman, and they are pure ADHD symptoms; impulsive, hyper, inattentive. Once it kicks in, she is a different kid. If these were BP (mania) symptoms, this would not be the case.  You CAN have both and often MUST treat both. My dd has been evaluated by two psychiatrists- both confirm this, one even did a BEAM test (similar to EEG) that confirmed severe ADHD/combined type. She is as stable as she has ever been, but still is hyper.

Jennifer - posted on 10/26/2009

Hi Candace! My 10 yr old daughter has BP & severe ADHD. I have 5 and 17 yr old daughters too. She has been inpatient 3 times in the past 2 1/2 yrs. It is hard and scary, but it does get better and you will get thru it. Find a psychiatrist that SPECIALIZES in kids. We got my girl's BP stabilized (mostly manic, but she was sneaky/lying/stealing/attempting self harm too) but because her ADHD is so severe, she still requires an ADHD med to deal w/those symptoms. You CAN stabilize BP and still have ADHD syptoms. I'm not a doctor and would never presume to give medical advice, but I've seen it in my own child so I know its true. All the other BP symptoms go away, but still super hyper/impulsive. I've seen anti-depressants do more damage than the stimulants. It's all about the right "cocktail" (combination) of meds. THere is no one right answer for every child and what works (OR DOESN"T) for one may not for another. Therapy is a must too. Hang in there. You can do this. You'll be in my prayers. :)

Brandy - posted on 10/25/2009

THIS WAS POSTED BY ANOTHER MEMBER "Is your daughter on medication? Do you know that most adhd medication makes bipolar worse? Your Psych should know this. Is your daughter in counseling? You have to make sure the lying doesn't just get swept under the carpet. Have consequences for the lying and be consistent with it. If you take away something precious to her, pretty soon she'll come to understand that you're serious and the lying must stop. I have two children with biplar and adhd. It's difficult. But the right meds can make a huge difference too!" THIS IS MY RESPONSE: ( not yelling)





My son and I are, Bipolar and ADHD. My son takes Topamax with Concerta and I take Topamax with Addreall, for the last yr. We go to the Med. Dr. Bi-weekly and Counseling every Friday. So the comment about making Bipolar worse, I feel that is based on Opinion not FACT! It all depends on the person, what worked for your child or my child might not work for hers. I thought the whole idea was to give a little piece of what worked for us. Not give opinions stated like Facts!

I don't mean to sound rude but I have come across a few naive people. Who were mis-informed about important issues that could have been avoided.

Christy - posted on 10/21/2009

Is your daughter on medication? Do you know that most adhd medication makes bipolar worse? Your Psych should know this. Is your daughter in counseling? You have to make sure the lying doesn't just get swept under the carpet. Have consequences for the lying and be consistent with it. If you take away something precious to her, pretty soon she'll come to understand that you're serious and the lying must stop. I have two children with biplar and adhd. It's difficult. But the right meds can make a huge difference too!

Quiana - posted on 10/19/2009

OH MY!!! MY DAUGHTER IS 9 AND THE EXACT SAME WAY!!! HONESTLY I PRAY AND TRY TO BE CALM WITH HER. IT IS REAL HARD AND I HAVE A 12 YROLD, 7 YROLD, AND A 4 YROLD. SHE IS MANIPULATIVE ALSO (VERY)! SHE IS ON CONCERTA NOW HE SAYS THAT SHE IS BI-POLAR ALSO SO NOW SHE IS ON OXCARBAZEPINE ONLY 150 MG TO START BUT IT ISNT CALMING HER DOWN. I HAVE TO WAIT FOR HER NEXT APPT FOR HIM TO UP HER DOSAGE. SHE LIES SHE STEALS AND TRIES TO DO WHAT SHE WANTS TO DO IT IS VERY HARD BUT HOPEFULLY IT WILL ALL COME TOGETHER.

Marlene - posted on 10/18/2009

Candace, my daughter has been diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder and it is hard to deal with, first off you need to make sure she's getting the correct medication .. second the Bi-Polar meds should rule out the ADHD meds to the point where they are minimal because the don't work on Bi-Polar children. The meds will take time to work, my daughter is on Lamactil and it's working well so far but I'm sure before she's a teenager there will be more. Continue to reprimand for the wrong doings, she has to learn that she makes the choices not the disease or medications. That's a big one for our daughter .. but so far so good. Also I just got a book from our pyschiatrist called the Bi-Polar Child, she said it should help answer most of my questions .. I wish you luck and I'm here if you need anything. (Even if it's just to vent!!)

Brandy - posted on 10/17/2009

I myself have been fighting these same issues for many yrs when my son was very young it was just thought he was ADHD but it just seem to get worst, the behavior, the moods would just get so out of control. When he was 9 they diagnosed him ADHD/bipolar. We went through a out patient program for behavior, we both learned techniques to do when he started feeling moody or he was going to explode. I attended parenting classes along with family theropy which was very helpful it was very insightful into to some of the triggers to avoid or how to handle the behaviors. This one program did not do it I also had to put him in a inpatient program he was there for a week. I will tell you it was not easy we went threw so many medications and theropy sessions. He is 11yrs old now and we still see a theropist weekly and he gets his meds every morning for both Bipolar and ADHD. I went through 3yrs of heck before. Now we can actually ask him to do something and its half-n-half if I get it or not, which compared to before I think I like that. Just another quick not...... I am a single mom who has ADHD / Bi Polar herself and My youngest son is ADHD w/ seizures, who just started homeschooling do to so many DRs appts so as you can see I have lots to do!

good luck! Out patient really did do wonders for both my boys!

*B*

Danelle - posted on 10/16/2009

I to have a daughter with both..She has dealt with it all her life and has been in and out of inpatient treatment to no avail..The meds do not help and I am at wits end myself..I wish I had the answers you so need but do not..Best wishes and I am here if you need to talk

Casey - posted on 10/13/2009

Hi Candace, I am sorry to hear you are going through this. My son also has problems with his ADHD and bi-polar. What we first did was found a doctor of psychiatry. My sons regular doctor referred us to ours, so you can start there if you are not sure. This doctor can provide counceling and medication adjustments. So you are taking care of two problems at once. ADHD and bi polar is hard to diagnose because so many of their symptons mirror each other. With him being able to counsel and adjust medicaton, he is able to adjust to each patients special needs. He can also offer alternatives to her stealing and manipulative way. My son has impulsive aggression, so he is also on medication to help him with that. The doctor that you chose will help with each of her individual needs. My doctor has been a lifesaver. I hope that this helps you in some way. Wishing you and your family all of the best.