HELP! Teacher picking on my son.

Sophia - posted on 11/20/2012

please dont get mad... but your son is way too young to be thinking people like or dislike him because of his DX.... and others will and sometimes cannot see how great your child is. IF he can't keep up in that class change him to a smaller class. my son is in a 12.1 special edu. class and gets the same work as his peers. I love it. he is doing alot better then some of his peers in reg.edu. His report card was to die for lol. all 3's and 4's. I will not fight for what works for my son teacher just what I know works for him. a smaller class with 2 teachers.

Catherine - posted on 09/21/2012

I have had to deal with teachers like the one described above for 4 1/2 years. I was so troubled by the lack of care and unwillingness to accommodate that I wrote a book for parents, like yourself, to let you know that you are not alone. There is nothing worse than to know your child is being treated unfairly by someone who is supposed to be helpful. My belief is that, unfortunately, there are teachers out there who are allowed to educated students who humiliate, bully, treat unfairly, refuse to accommodate, and who just might not like your kid, sick, but true. The book is title, Snitch: True Stories of Destructive Classrooms and Bad Teachers. My son was diagnosed with ODD and some of his teachers would say things to him that I wouldn't say to my worse enemy. When I contacted the school it was always he said he said and I got absolutely no where. In fact, whenever I tried to be an advocate for my son some of the teachers would get angry and take it out on him. It was horrible. They would give him poor grades, referrals, and many trips to the deans office.

Amelia - posted on 06/08/2010

New teacher and call the district and file a formal complaint! Not ok!

Jana - posted on 03/25/2010

I am so sorry for your sone this had to happend....I know what is it like...My little guy had this happen to him with his very 1st teacher ever in preK :( We did the same thing homeschool! We love it!! At time it is stressful, but over all love it!! GOOD LUCK!

Donna - posted on 03/24/2010

Oh I just read your reply, good for you!
I am so happy that your son is getting the best treatment possible..no more needless tears:)

Donna - posted on 03/24/2010

REQUEST A NEW TEACHER IMMEDIATELY!!!
I went through the same thing with my 8yr old. I let him suffer for 8 months under her abuse and failing him every way she could, she was happy to see him suffer because she thought he shouldn't get unfair advantages- she didn't understand the struggle of the child. I actually changed schools for lack of support from the principal with this teacher, I thought if it happens again the principal will still back up the actions of the teacher, even though they were hurtful and unprofessional.
I tried an IEP, I tried getting tested for IDEA help, nothing worked because the teacher wanted to fail him and treat him like a bad kid (she actually told me this at one point).
This teacher won't go out and say it, but she will fail your child becasue she has a problem with him.
Advocate for your son and get a new teacher.

Kendra - posted on 03/23/2010

Best of luck to you. I am sure this can be a very rewarding experience for both of you, and it is wonderful that you are able to do it. Be sure to keep him involved in outside activities.

Kim - posted on 03/22/2010

I have solved the problem by deciding to homeschool. The answer was given to me before the meeting. We have been doing it for a week now and our whole family seems so much more relaxed. It's amazing how much happier my son has become this week. Who better to educate him than myself... there's so much information and help out there. I know how he learns and care more than any teacher could! I did write a letter for the school and the superintendent to let them know what was going on and why I removed my son from there school system.

Kendra - posted on 03/17/2010

Before you go into the meeting, I would have your son give you examples of what is going on in class and how the teacher makes him feel. I would write these down. Next, I would write down examples of how I think the teacher has been biased. Keep the examples short and specific. Keep emotion out of it so you are clear and focused. Then, I would gather samples of his work, especially the items that you feel she has graded unfairly. Also look for a copy of a student guide she may have handed out in the beginning that listed class policies and her grading policy. Review it to see if it says anything about taking notes in class, showing work on problems, or handing in homework. Take a copy of every communication you have had with this teacher. I am hoping that you have some emails or notes. Review you son's IEP or 504. I don't know which he has, but it should list his accommodations such as extended time. I am sure you participated in this and know what they are, but it will help to have them on hand to refer to.

Make notes about your argument beforehand because once you get in the meeting it will be very easy to be sidetracked, emotionally upset, or distracted from your main point. Also, I would refrain from making this an attack against the teacher unless you want her to be disciplined. There is no point in it otherwise. I would ask to have your son placed in another class. No matter what the problem is, he is not being successful and it is likely that he will not be comfortable in this class after the meeting. The teacher will probably be uncomfortable as well. The more prepared you are going into the meeting, the more comfortable and less emotional you will be.

It is unlikely that the teacher is personally attacking or picking on your son, but if she is you will want to be armed because she will be defensive. I offer this advice to you as the parent of a 17 yr old with spina bifida and ADD. I had to have a meeting last year to have him removed form a class where there were problems with one of the teachers. It was even more difficult because I am a former high school teacher, and this was one of my former colleagues. But you have to do what you think is best for your son. Go in armed with knowledge. Also understand that your son has a part in this somehow. No child is completely innocent, and there may be things he has done or said that you are unaware of. It would not justify any bias or unfair treatment by a teacher no matter how he behaved. But you don't want him to get the wrong message that you will just pull him out of a class because he doesn't like the teacher or the work (I have seen it happen).

Unfortunately, one day our sons will need to learn how to work in tough situations with people who have little tolerance or understanding. I express this to my son all the time. I tell him that there is no extended time in the real world and that he will have to learn to work with individuals he may not like. Yours still has a bit of time to grow into that idea though :)

Helen - posted on 03/16/2010

Sounds like you need to go meet with the guidence counsilar at his school any child with adhd in a public scool setting has rights to help and extended time...even in junior high and high school. This teacher may be ignoring the fact he is adhd and just being hard on him thinking he is lazy if you go to guidence and address it the teacher is made to understand the childs needs and if the teacher refusses to acknowledghe them they will change him to a better suited teacher for him. I have had to do this in the past and with my oldest i took it as far as parking my self in the scool boards office til someone there spoke with me some teachers just think adhd is a term used and an excuss when its not its an actual medical condition. I hope this helped you can ask me anything if you need to.

Vicki - posted on 03/14/2010

Oh well I would start off with changing his teacher.. that is discrimination and he has rights under the childrens with disablities act.. If he has an IEP in place then she has no choice but to give him whatever time he needs without making him feel like he has done something wrong.. this is out of his control its not like he asked to have this disorder.. The teacher should be working with u and him not against u.. Make sure he has an advocate working with u so that all his rights are being enforced..My son is 7 and I have been fortuante that there is a school in are area for kids with adhd add and aspergers... they work in smaller groups and take each kid individualy..best of luck to u