ho to get teachers to understand that my child does not understand what they are trying to teach him

Teri - posted on 01/12/2011 ( 14 moms have responded )

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he is too afraid of getting into trouble to say anything about not understanding what they are trying to teach him and i am seriously concidering pulling him out of school and teachin him myself because it is an every year thing and they wont hold him back so that he can have the time to learn it

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Belinda - posted on 01/14/2011

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IEP is a great suggestion ...from my experience the teachers are not allowed to offer testing. It is left up to the parent to request...we had our sons psychiatrist request the testing in writing.

On another note, my son is 11 years old now. He was diagnosed when he was 5. We've had to switch meds on him many times. I learned that you definitely have to keep an open mind about new meds AND dosages. Sometimes a small increase makes a world of difference at school and at home. I never allowed a huge jump in dose in any med. He has been on Vyvanse for about 2 years and is doing well.

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Claire - posted on 12/11/2013

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The teacher probably already knows your child doesn't get it. If this is severe, to help your child why not have a learning assessment done by an educational psychologist to see if there are strategies that can be used to help your child. E.g can they follow more than two instructions? Are they confusing instructions? Also there may be funding available for some support for your child at school with a teacher aide in class, which will help your child, the other children in the class and the teacher. No teacher ever wants children to fail I've found, however they are restricted by time in the day and the number of students in the class to provide individual instruction :)

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 01/26/2011

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Well it's nice to see that schools haven't changed much since my brother and I were in them (I have ADD and he has ADHD) My daughter may have ADHD as well. Luckily for her her Pre-K teacher did her college Thesis on ADD and her son has it too. But for my brother and I it was hell. My mom ended up switching us in schools a few times because the teachers were crappy. I still remember Kindergarten and 1st grade quite vividly because my teachers either ignored me or singled me out whenever something bad happened and it was the same for my brother.
I'd suggest first getting him evaulated by a psychologist (It's what my parents did for my brother and I) to have valid proof that he does have ADD or some other learning disorder. The person doing the eval will sit with your child in class and will also do some tests one on one. After the evaulation make sure you can sit down with his teachers and the principal to discuss your issues and concerns. Get some help setting up an IEP for your son.
You may have to switch him into a different school (I sent my daughter to a Catholic school mainly because I still live in the same school district I went to and I'd probably get arrested if she had to go through what I went through) because I feel she gets more one on one time because the kindergarten classes have 2 teachers. Smaller class sizes can help when the child has ADD or ADHD.
Above all you need to start communicating and tell your son that he shouldn't be afraid of getting into trouble when he speaks up. If his teacher gets mad at him for asking a question, tell him to tell you and you'll take care of it.
I hope this helps.

Loren - posted on 01/24/2011

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That is a problem that I have found in the educational systam today. In order to have them held back it is a great battle with the board as they beleive it to be detrimetal to the childs social development by holding them back. If you are considering home school there are two opetioions available for you in the ontario area. 1 is with school support and the other is without. If you chose to work without school scupport then I suggest that you investigate the various school curiculums from the states and Canada. The other suggestion is that if you believe that you are able to home school him try to locate a local home school group to assist you in setting up a program for your child. Do however, understand that in this society big brother is trying to keep an eye on all children so you may get flack fro children's services....don't let that deter you from what you believe in your heart is the best things for your childs' future. If you require any further direction and are located in the ontario, canada area I will be more then happy to direct you to the proper authorities to get the ball rolling. Always remember that your childs educational future is the ost important thing for your child.

Caroline - posted on 01/23/2011

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I set up an IEP and I got some good help to do that online through www.mommyalertadhd.com

Kathy - posted on 01/21/2011

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There needs to be a class for teachers to learn about kids with A.D.D. or A.D.H.D..

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My son is in first grade and his teachers do not understand him at all. He comes home with notes saying "Talk to Dom about listening and not talking" or "Dom will not sit still", It irritates me that they know we are working on finding the right ADHD meds for him and yet they still write notes like this. I have thought of pulling him out of his school as well. One bad teacher can spoil school for children.

[deleted account]

Communication with the teacher(s) is vital! My son is the same as yours ... he is afraid to ask for help if he doesn't understand something. Golly neds, they have open book tests in Social Studies and he's failing the subject because he's afraid to use his book during tests. I have email addresses for all three of his teachers and I use them often. His social studies teacher works with both of us as much as possible - she allows him to bring his test home and correct it, writing the page number that the answer can be found on and she gives him extra credit for doing this. There have been times when he comes home upset because of something that he THOUGHT happened at school and I immediately email his teacher to find out what actually happened. Communication with all teachers and your child is the most important thing you can offer to your child.

Dee - posted on 01/19/2011

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I have to agree with the very helpful advice you have already been given. You need to stay in constant communication with the school and an IEP (individual education plan) is an excellent way to start. It gives your lad AND the school specific targets to aim for. I remember my son's first IEP had things like maintain eye contact and sit still. He was six then - he's eleven in a few months and now it's things like "stop reading books in class and and listen to the teacher!"

The IEP gives the school a goal with your son - and helps them to support him better.

Have you thought about a home tutor for an hour or so after school to help him catch up?

Terri - posted on 01/19/2011

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Wow, that is a tough one. Boys can be difficult to teach as there's a certain level of pride that makes it hard for them to admit they don't "get" something. Before pulling him out of school, which could just make matters worse, talk to first his doctor to be sure that any meds he's on are still at the proper dosage. My daughter had a growth spurt in 3rd grade that drastically effected her meds. If her teacher hadn't mentioned her sudden inattention in class, we might not have known that she needed an adjustment. Second, make an appointment to have a visit with both his teacher and the counselor for the school. It is vitally important that everyone is on the same page! Oh, and 3rd, if you haven't already, get his eyes checked. My son was in 4th grade when he started having some late in the day issues and it turned out that eye strain was giving him a somewhat bad attitude, because by the end of the day his head hurt and he got short tempered.

Amber - posted on 01/19/2011

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I would request an evaluation be done to see if he qualifies for a 504 Plan or an IEP! Don't delay! My son qualified for an IEP and his education has improved drastically! Don't let them decide FOR YOU what's best for your child. You are his parent and, therefore, his advocate.

Phyllis - posted on 01/14/2011

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Do you have an IEP for him, or any kind of program in place? If not, you may want to look into it. If there is a plan in place that must be followed, they will have a harder time brushing off your concerns.

Teri - posted on 01/14/2011

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they are tellin me that my sons meds arent strong enough and that his attitude gets worse only after 2 pm but its not every single day its 2 or 3 days a week. i told them that he was too scared to talk to them and they said it was just his attitude.

Belinda - posted on 01/13/2011

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Hi Teri,

What I have learned is that you have to stay in constant communication with your son's teacher. From Day 1 in school, I find out what the teacher's e-mail address is and a phone number where they can be reached. My son is very shy and quiet in school (not at home!) so he never asks questions if he is confused or doesn't understand a particular assignment or lesson. The teachers have to know this. Go through his backpack and if you see things he did not complete or got a bad grade on then go over it with him and let the teacher know he is struggling in a certain area and needs extra help understanding what to do.

Also, rather than pull my son from a school....I've sat with him with workbooks at home to strengthen his skills AND at one point I signed him up for afterschool tutoring....at the time I signed him up with KUMON for both reading and math. It brought him up from below reading level to AT level in about a month!

Good Luck...hope this helps a little :)

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