How do i explain sex to an almost 10 year old boy with ADHD? TOUGH ONE!!!!

Natalie - posted on 08/05/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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MY STORY:



i noticed something different with my son at 22 months. i took him to his 1st mommy and me class...while he was the only toddler running around full force, on the jungle gym, throwing balls, riding the little tricycle while the other children just sat there, and talking very clear instead of pointing things that he wanted. it didnt concern me due to the fact that he was my 1st child and didnt know what to expect. i felt it was normal to have a boy that was active, interested in how things worked,( which then he would take it apart just to see how it did work), curious about all animal life. By the time he was in 1st grade, i dealt with his teacher at least on a daily base. he would always get himself into trouble, even got sent home and was suspended for the remainder of the day. by the 4th month of school, i felt like his teacher was very irritated by my son and just gave up on him. i finally got some help-not by that teacher though, we started out on strattera, changed does twice-there was not much of a change. That school year ended when we went to adderall which is working out good. the next year at school his confidence level was very low due to his past teacher. the teacher he did get embraced him and welcomed him-she knew him from the previous year and told him this is a new year new grade and new teacher. right off the bat his confidence level shot back up. he had a great year considering the year before :) so from having a negative teacher in 1st grade, he is now in 4th and still talks about her and how she treated him -which breaks my heart and is still a sore subject.

*******so onto my question....who has gone through that sex talk? i have noticed he makes little comments on how "hot" girls are when he sees a girl. my reaction to him is-if you think that she is pretty or beautiful then say that. saying that their "hot" im sure they wouldnt like that- so i know its just a matter of time till someone at school his age or in 5th grade will tell him before i do. his father is an "every other weekend dad" -so i am a mom as well as the dad. i do feel comfortable talking about out body parts but with adhd childrens minds i feel like i have to approach it differently....any advice?



~Natalie

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4 Comments

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Nadine - posted on 09/29/2010

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Hi Natalie
I have an ADHD son aswell and their minds do overwhelm them from time to time. My son first came to me at the age of 7 wanting to know what a french kiss was and I told him. The way to approach it is if and when they ask questions. Tell them only what they need to know about that question and please be honest. He has asked me many different things about the boys body and about the girls body. As he asks I will tell him in a way that he will understand. Thank goodness we have a very close and open relationship, that he feels comfortable to come and talk to me about everything. He is now 11 and know all there is to know as he asks very in depth questions. It all depends on the child as to what you would tell them. My son will hear something from one of his friends and he will come home and ask if that is true if it isn't I will sit with him and explain the correct way. Children with ADHD minds work similar to children without ADHD they are only a lot faster and have a shorter span of concertration. So try to explain in a short way and keep him interested so it can all sink in. Good luck.

Michelle - posted on 11/24/2009

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Try the book "What's Happening to My Body"
I bought it for my 11 year old son and he reads it. Before he went through the sex talk at school my husband and I both sat sown with him to check to see what he knew or if he had any questions before the class started. The book is VERY detailed so you may want to check it out first.
Good luck!

Jen - posted on 08/06/2009

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I've been open and honest with my 13 year old son about sex. They showed "the movie" in either 5th or 6th grade. He knows his body and what all his parts are for, as well as the female body and what their parts are for.
Beyond that, I bring it up while watching TV. So called "love scenes" on the TV are a great time to bring things up. Be casual about it. Talk about safe sex, condoms, consequences, pregnancy, even the emotions that come with sex. Ask HIM questions. What does he know about this or that, or what does he think about things. From there you can correct what he's learned from classmates or reinforce the positive. You don't want to lecture or say how dirty or bad sex is though, because this will definitely make him want to do it, per human nature.
Also make sure you and his dad are on the same page about what's being discussed. I don't get along well with my sons' dad, but when it comes to the important things, I make sure he's going along with what I'm telling my son.
Believe me, it only gets worse as they get older. :-)

Alison - posted on 08/06/2009

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Fortunately my girls are still very little, but I have heard that there should not be one talk, but an open dialog. I think with a poor attention span, this is an even better idea!

And quite frankly, at the age of 10, I am sure that your son has heard plenty of stuff about sex, whether or not it is accurate or if he really gets it is another story.

You might want to ask him what he has heard and ask if he has any questions.



Good luck with this!!!