How do most 3-4 year olds with ADHD act?

Amy - posted on 06/19/2009 ( 92 moms have responded )

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Just curious what other people are dealing with at this age of having ADHD. Describe like what they act like and everything...cause I just dont know anyone that is as young as my son and that has it, to ask and see just how bad it really is..thanks soooo much!

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Jay_me - posted on 10/10/2013

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My boyfriend and I have been together for years but we just moved in together at the end of August. He has a 4yr old and a 7yr old. My kids are 14 & 17. His 7 year old is good. Has his moments typical kid things, gets hyper at times but can calm down when needed. He's usually only hyper with his brother. The 4 yr old "how to say it lightly" he makes me miserable. I dread going home. Because of my BF's job he leaves at 5am and returns at 5pm. I get them up, drop them at daycare, pick them up and I am at home making supper till he comes home. Mornings aren't terribly bad, but afternoons and evenings are. Let me give you some examples and please tell me if you think is ADHD or just a small child acting out. Before I tell you the issues I would like to say, The boys live with us F/T and they see their mom on the weekends. He is sometimes happy to go with her and never asks for her throughout the week. He has always been like this so it's not because we are together.
Yesterday at the babysitter he would throw a blanket on their kitten and then jump on the blanket. His mom has cats and so does his gram and he does not do it there. When he gets in the car he is told to buckle in. He has been messing with my light and it will be left on. He has been told about it numerous times and he will still do it. When asked, do you know it's wrong, he answers yes and he has no clue why he does it. When told to sit still and not talk. He constantly fidgets and always has to find a reason to say something. When he gets in trouble and is told to sit there until he is told, he will roll around, play with whatever is near him and most of time ask, can I get up, can I leave my room. After getting in trouble and aloud to move around, he will just act as if nothing happened. When in a vehicle, if he has no clue where we are going he will constantly ask, where are we going, are we there. (I know, my kids did it but not to his extent) He is very observant because if you go a different way, he will ask you why we are going that direction and be sure to tell me he doesn't want to. He hates being in the car very long. A lot of times when you try to correct him,, he will just sit there and smile at you and sometimes just ignore you. He fights me on silly things. I put his new shoes instead of his play shoes to go to his moms and he was getting ready to cry. I said do not cry, you wear what you are told. When he went out to her she picked him up and he started waling, I want the other shoes. He was flailing around so bad, I don't know how she held him. When we eat, he will ask for what he wants and we give it to him, When he starts eating, he will see others and want theirs. He use to take it right off their plate. He is not aloud to get anything else until he eats his food. So sometimes he will just sit there and whine through the whole meal until finished, or say he has to go to the bathroom so he can spit it out. If he hears his brother is getting dessert, he will say I am done and right after want dessert. He can't decide on his own what he wants really. If he picks something, then his brother picks something else, he changes his mind and has to have that. Say the 7yr old wants a drink. Even if the 4yr old just had one, he would want another. He is told numerously not to go into a room w/o knocking if the door is closed, he still just walks in. There is times he will go into the bathroom and instead of peeing in the toilet, he will pee ALL over the seat and floor, or just pee in the garbage can. And his big thing is,when he does something good, are you proud of me. Like after whining for an hour through a meal he fought to eat. When finished he will say, Are you proud of me? Really? I will be proud when you make it through without fighting us. (I did not say that) He also knows that his father and I do not tolerate crying for just anything. So when he is with his gram or Mom, he will cry over everything. And sleep..when we put him to bed, he will come out with every excuse in the book 405 times. In the morning he is up about 7 or 8 no matter if you put him to bed at 7pm or midnight. Sorry, I am at wits end and just trying to figure out what is wrong.

Odessa - posted on 08/26/2013

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my son is 3. I dont know if he has adhd, but he acts TERRIBLE every place we go so it seems like we stay at home most days. He is very smart and curious but it is hard to get him to sit still and do anything- color, read books, anything that would help him. When I take him out he just runs around and barely stops to do any one thing. I dont know if he has adhd or is just hyper, or just doesnt get out enough. In the mornings he acts like he doesnt want to go anywhere and fights me on everything- doesnt want to dress himself, put on his shoes, listen, discipline.

Miranda - posted on 06/03/2013

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i am a young mom 23, and My son just turned 3. I started noticing differences in his behaviour from that of other babies basically from the start. When i was pregnant, early on i was under very high stress but took all my prenatals etc. and towards the middle- the end of my pregnancy my son kicked basically non stop. right out of womb he kicked back and forth on the scale to the point the nurses were amazed he didnt flip over. Over time i noticed his attention span was very short. He was not able to listen to comands as well as others his age. Then id say within the last year maybe 2 its significantly gotten more severe. He, like anyone, has his good days and bad but its becoming more and more apparent that early speculation of moderate to severe adhd is a possibility. Hes very irritable. He doesnt understand simple commands; stop, let go etc. It was decribed to me in a way that sounds negative but it made a lot of sense. "the lights are on but no ones home" at times. He gets lots and lots of love and his behaviour is significantly better if hes been very active in the day but the little things are still quite apparent. He is also very very picky with food. There was a time in the last year where he would not eat any solid food at all for up to a month, very scary. Now all he will eat is hot dogs, pizza, sandwhiches and pasta. His behaviour is almost what you would imagine or what they show on tv of a child whos eaten way too much candy. running constantly, loud mouth sounds etc. Unfortunately at night time he does watch a bit of tv because its the only thing that calms his mind and if hes watching something that hes really interested in hes severely tuned out. I can yell his name while im beside him and he doesnt hear me. selective hearing lol Hes so smart, can do puzzels within minutes, memorizes things nearly right away, count to 30 etc. but His behaviour has created a lot of turmoil around the house especially when the aggression kicks in because of his frustration. He pushes, bites, slaps, pulls with other kids. Spits and wont stop etc. He was actually kicked out of a daycare because in my opinion they were too lazy to help him, just threw him in the corner alone. Hes the kind of kid who, just like from birth does not sit still. maybe a few minutes at the time. always needing something to be focused on, and most often he gets bored very easily. He does not listen to comands or me talking well unless i make him look at me and even then he looks and hears me but i dont think it always registers as thats what hes supposed to do. Ive had a lot of frustration on how to handle it, but from my experience just keeping him busy works. anything outside he does seem to settle a little bit unless there are lots of kids. It got to the point where i was so severely discouraged from taking him anywhere i was not watching him, but over time you learn to slowly handle things. Hes a sweet kid, very loving and caring for some people but its just focusing his mind onto something productive that quiets it a little. They say no red candy in the diet at all as it can trigger symptoms, and its almost always more severe at night time or when he is tired. Im sure some of it is just stubborn toddler symptoms as any kid has, but the older he gets it does get worse so im trying to find resources where at least when hes young, not to be on medication. I hope this helps and good luck :)

Terraine - posted on 09/06/2013

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My son just made 4 and he's worst then ever. My son goes to this really good private school and he's on his way to probaly getting put out, he has been diagnosed but has to be evaulation again soon, this has to be the hardest thing i've ever had to come across and some nights i cry because i didn't have to go though this with my daughter and she is 5, not to mention i'm a young mother myself (26) with two kids. Help plzz!

Amanda - posted on 08/06/2013

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My son has been diagnosed with ADHD. He is 6. He was diagnosed at 5 but I knew well before and was convinced something was wrong by age 3. He has serious issues with noise and other auditory sensory stimuli. The contradiction is that he is a very loud child. He hit, kicked, bit, scream, cried... all impulsively even though he knew they were wrong and could tell me so. He couldn't slow down long enough to think before he reacted. He still struggles with this. He was always extremely bright. He did not play well with children his age or older. He did better with younger kids and still does. My son struggles to control his emotions. He is overly sensitive, easily frustrated. He becomes overwhelmed very fast. He struggles with transitions of any type. It doesn't matter how minor. He lacks focus, even on his medication. Its better with his medicine but still a struggle. He often acts as though he was driven by a motor, so much so, that he often physically shook from the excess energy. He struggled to understand and connect consequences with his actions. Still does.

The thing people should understand, and as an educator, I work with these kids daily, is that there is almost always a comorbidity of symptoms. This means that along with ADHD, your child may have other issues working hand in hand to cause more deficits. For example, a large percentage of ADHD kids are gifted but unable to access their giftedness due to the problems presented by having ADHD. With giftedness come its own slew of issues, like becoming easily bored with content too easy. Add that with an inability to focus...oh boy. My son has sensory deficits and emotional control problems. Dyslexia can be comorbid and so can ODD.

Just keep in mind that each day can bring new problems and where one problem was another can manifest...like tics. The thing is to teach them to recognize what is going on within each childs mind and body. Its a long process. You would think I would have an edge, working with these kids. But he drives me nuts. Some days I am one hell of a mom. Some days I am the worst kind of mom and I hate myself. I can only get up the next day and try again.

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Angela - posted on 06/02/2014

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I agree, redirecting behavior is going to work much better than telling him what to do.you have to teach a child respect. If you respect him hell respect you back. My daughter is 3 years old and I lost her for a little while unfortunately. I just got her back permanently she acts just like your son found that when I started in respecting her n not not getting frustetated and yelling, and giving her choices by asking her what she wants and how she feels it started to change and trust me it wasn't overnight. I read a lot online about children separated from their moms and that she has been acting out in anger and resentment toward me. I also read it happens with families that are split up n this can go on for years if its not dealt with the right way. I suggest you look up children behaviors when separation in family, or along those lines, I completely believe you will find what you're looking for and find some answers. Good luck

Dolcie - posted on 04/27/2014

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Dear Odessa
I want to reach out to you and hug you and squeeze you for a full minute. I tell you, you just described my son down to a T. We just got kicked out of daycare. Am in tears not knowing what to do. We are went to see a behavioral "psych" ppl. I feel so hopeless and yes like you i end up styaing in doors just to avoid being in public with him. I hope things get better for you guys. And if they do please share what works because i want to try things here too Desperately
Xx Dolcie

Corinne - posted on 04/24/2014

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I know how you feel, as I have a daughter of 7 with ADHD . Some days feels like an uphill battle or should I say most days do. We do have are good moments so I just grab on to them as much as I can, there is no rhyme or reason for why things can go from great one minute to awful the next . I feel really sorry for her brother who is three years older as he gets it in the neck for a lot of what she does as she likes to wind him up until he explodes at her. She doesn't understand a lot of the time what she has done was wrong, I just try to explain it to her as paintiently as possible, but there are times when I do loose the plot, when that happens I just have to walk away for a five minute breather. No one said being a parent would be easy but I think being a parent of a child with ADHD is exponentially harder, especially when you feel you are being judged by the other parents at your kids school . If they have a problem why don't they just ask you. Then go and find out for themselves about the condition. Although to be honest their children are no angels either. We just have to take one moment at a time.

Kathy - posted on 03/31/2014

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this is ADHD classic. constantly give him something to distract him, it's the only way.
see a doctor or other specialist, they'll want to rule out other things (tourettes, BPD, Bipolar disorder) let them. Diet will make no difference really.
Don't be fooled by him, he can and will learn. it's just hard on you. remember when it's hard on you that it's hard on him too.... he knows no different and it's NOT his fault.
distraction is the key: if he's intelligent give him something complicated that will take days to solve i.e a rubix cube. If he's just average then a small ball of blue-tac should help him to sit still for short periods. you'll need to be very strict with him, but also extremely consistent and imaginative. not easy. good luck!

Aj - posted on 03/18/2014

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Well, this sounds just like my son - But telling a child to do as your told...I kind of see that as stupid.
Until you respect this child, or learn re-directive behavior, he going to keep pushing you, as mine does.
My thoughts are this little boy has a strong personality, and likes to be in control in some way, Perhaps because he feels out of control, and as I realize it can be challenging when it's your biological kid, and you are a step mom, I didn't hear real compassion for what this child is going through.
My son is just like this little boy, and he is so smart, has a heart of gold, but also acts exactly like this. You describe his behavior in great detail, but when you describe how you handle it, It is odd to me how you are basically do what I say, don't talk, sit still.
I think your going to have to come from a place of understanding, re-directive behavior, one of praise, or this child will show you who has the strongest of wills, dig his heals, and essentially drive you crazy. I was one of these kids, and really, not all of us follow the status-quo. He'll have his challenges in life, but if directed in the proper way, he'll do great things.

Francisco2224 - posted on 03/10/2014

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U trippin as the birth Mom biological when i told my BOOpie baby do not open until U knock and i say "COME IN BOOP"...DID HE COME asked for advice not criticism . If she was what you called her she wouldn't care or ask or care to ask

Alexis - posted on 01/29/2014

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Jamie I'm sorry but yoh sound horrible.. You sound like a step mom who doesn't wanna deal with a four year old.. I wish I had the simple problems you have with your step son with my son!!! He sounds like notning but a four year old kid! Do you really expect a four year old to knock before he walks into a room???? Really?????!!!????? Omg her post has me absolutely livid!!!!!! Yes you should be proud if he finished something no matter of he fought with you before doing it or not!!! It's about small victories!!! Making a big deal out of the good things even if it's just for a moment! You need to reevaluate how you are handling and relating to this child!!! If he wants to wear a certain pair of sneakers then let him! You should never ever ever tell a child you wear what I tell you wear!!! I'm in total shock over your post and you're complete disregard for that four year old and his feelings

Trina86139 - posted on 01/25/2014

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My son is very hyper and he can,t keep still and its get worse what should i do?

John - posted on 12/13/2013

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Sounds like a lot of impulsiveness rather than ADHD. Still, understandably, this is not fun. The bottom line is that you need to come down on him - and come down hard. I notice that, for many women, this is very, very difficult. It's just not in them to be that nasty for that long. They just want everything to be smooth. Unfortunately, your four year old doesn't know or care about that; his universe is limited to the boundaries you set for him.

Last night my six year old step-son was trying ANYTHING to avoid his math homework. He will take any excuse to get away from the table and not do it. Something tapped a nearby window, and he exclaimed, "WHOA! WHAT'S THAT?!" with the obvious intention of getting away. I grabbed him by the wrist - firmly - and just looked at him. He knew immediately that he had been busted. He does not like getting caught and not having an excuse, he turned bright red and obviously geo very embarrassed. So I gave him a way out - finish your two math problems, which were nothing more than simple addition - in less than 2 minutes, and then you're done.

It took him less than 30 seconds. Why? He knew it was do or die. Trust me, he pulls the same thing that your four year old does, and EVERY SINGLE TIME, I shut him down. Every time. That can be more than 40 times a day, and yes, it is exhausting...but it works. He resents it, but he respects it as well. You need to get your kid there in order to help behavior. Don't forget the old lessons of our parents. Spare the rod, spoil the child is absolutely TRUE. The difference is that, today, we need to use a different "stick," so to speak - one that lets the child know we are always, always, always watching them and always one step ahead. My step son loves me for it, and I never lay a finger on him, it's all force of will. You'd think he would hate it, but he only feels safe with me.

Susan - posted on 12/07/2013

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I have same issues as Amanda with.my 4 year old. Fights at school & ...me on everything! Hes on adderal 5mg now. Helps some days. Any info or suggestions here about amino acids.in adhd kids?

Victoria - posted on 12/03/2013

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I have the same issue. Mine has been diagnosed with Auditory Sensory as well as ADHD just recently. She is very violent in daycare as well as home. She is always yelling and screaming. I am to no wits end. I am waiting for her to go get final diag for the Best Child Development hospital. We will see. Good luck with yours I will pray

[deleted account]

Amanda.. I breaks my heart to hear you hate yourself, thinking you may have been the worst kind of mom that day.. but not for reasons most would assume. I have a 6 yr old son with SPD (sensory processing disorder), and a 3 yr old (not diagnosed with anything.. yet. lol) who is an absolute holy terror some days! The phrase I use all the time is "I absolutely love my boys to death... but I hate the way they make me feel & react." Its the most simple way to describe the helplessness I feel on our "bad days". So when I say your feelings break my heart, its because I'm empathetic to them, and it kill me to know someone else feels what I feel sometimes. :-(

Feel free to message me for chit chat, if you'd like.
Cathy31gifts at gmail dot com

sending hugs & encouragement!!
Cathy
Missouri

Brittany - posted on 08/19/2013

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My four year old with adhd is no angel. My S/O and I had taken her to get diagnosed eariler this year. It didn't help much that her Biodad and I both have one of the forms of adhd so she is a combined type Hyper and cannot pay attetion. we have her on medication and it was all going well untill the move... we moved away from my parents and now she is worse than ever. she is louder more defiant she has these, i want to say tics where she just randomly gets loud or yells for no reason and she is loud even when i am 3 feet infront of her. I am literally at wits end. the store has become a nightmare, somehow she got thsi sense of entitlement where she makes the rules, she gets what she wants and i am wrong or nothing but a piggy bank.

John - posted on 08/06/2013

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Hi Mary,

I'm sorry to say, but that sounds more like ODD than ADD or ADHD. But I'm certainly not a doctor. However, know this: 3 years old is very early to tell what - if anything! - is "wrong" with your little girl. Kids are weird. We forget, but we sometimes impart our adult standards onto them. We can't (and shouldn't) do that, but we do anyway.

A friend of mine's daughter was a TERROR between 2 and 4 years old. I mean, she was just a miserable human. If the father stepped out of the room she screamed like she was being tortured and there was no consoling her. Took away something she wanted and WHAM, same thing, 5 alarm fire SCREAM for a good 20 minutes. And this was as late as 4 years old! Now at 7, she's actually very shy and never makes a sound. Hah.

Anyway, know that it won't last forever and just hold on. It gets better. If the behavior keeps up, see a doctor.

Robin - posted on 08/04/2013

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Hi,
My 11 year old son has ADHD. I have three kids, but he is definitely my most challenging. Reading your post about your six year old hitting his mom reminded me of my son. When my son was seven, he went through a hitting stage soon after I separated from his father. It took a past boyfriend to jump in. He cornered him against a wall, and told him to never hit girls. He also told him if he ever finds out he did, he was going to kick his butt. It worked like a charm. Even after we broke up, if he did anything I needed help with I just had to grab my phone and say I was going to call my ex. He immediately showed me respect.
As for the popsicles, his step dad is constantly grounding him over stealing them and lying about it! It seems like he is always being grounded for stealing treats these days. My Fiance really liked your approach of melting down the popsicles in front of your son. I have a feeling he is going to use this on our son.
Ever since my fiance has come into our lives, my son has become a different child. He seems happier and shows and incredible amount of self respect. He also behaves better in school and at home. His step dad introduced him to video games, and he uses this to encourage him to do homework, chores, and pretty much anything he wants him to do. Revoking his video game privileges seems to be the worst punishment for him.
Good luck with your little ones. I remember the days when it was just the kids being super hyper and loud.

Brownie42383 - posted on 08/03/2013

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My daughter is 3 and she is the same way. I can't do anything with her. When I try to do something nice she just acts up and makes a scene where ever we go. So I don't take her out any more. I'm at my wits end with her too. Just wanted to know what have you done or has anything changed for u since the post

Brownie42383 - posted on 08/03/2013

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My daughter is three and out of control. I'm pretty much at my wits end. I really think that she has ADD or something. She is up and down, and can't sit still. I could take her out all day long and she still is out of control. When other kids would be worn out, she is more hyper. Also you can not tell her a head of time that we are going anywhere. She gets crazy and fixated on it. Even tho she is super excited to go, she won't get ready to go. She starts to get crazy and won't let me dress her. Then I one thing that worries me is the hives she gets all over her bony when she gets upset. She gets herself so worked up that she just breaks out every where. Please help,I don't know what to do any more. I'm just tired

John - posted on 07/31/2013

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Hi guys,

Stepdad here, but I came across this link just surfing the internet. Thought I'd give some male perspective (for what its worth).

I have to admit I thought for certain my 6 year old step-son had ADHD, but now I see that there are people out there suffering through the same things. He certainly is hyperactive; as many have said below, constantly jumping, moving, running, climbing...he also needs to constantly interact with something and he (unfortunately) quickly becomes bored when he does. Another thing that is both comical and somewhat concerning is his total lack of awareness. For example, he will get so amped up playing tag that he will flat out sprint while looking back at his chaser and run head first into a pole that he knows is there.

He is otherwise a good kid. Very loving, never picks on his smaller sister, never bullies, etc. No throwing things or the like, though he does get a crazy look in his eye when he starts with the running and the jumping. He does punch, but I'll get to that below.

One thing I will say that has worked since I've come into the picture is staying absolutely firm. I love the mom, but she is SUCH a softie with the kids. She gives in easily and never enforces discipline. I, on the other hand, am so ruthless I'm fairly sure I'm giving someone a complex. For example, a demand of a Popsicle and a subsequent lie about it ("I didn't eat any popsicles today!") results in all the Popsicles being melted in the sink, one by one, as he watches. This has only happened twice now, and since then, he tells me the truth and asks for sugar only at the designated time, which is after dinner. As was said before, every child has a currency, and you must find it.

As to the kid being too physical, ladies, if there's a guy in the picture you need to spurn him to help you out. My 6 year old was used to ruling the roost physically, but since I have come around, that has stopped DEAD in its tracks. When he first got comfortable with me he would try the punching, but I befuddled him with blocking and light tackling (I am 6'2 and 180lbs and can easily pin him and hold him) that he got frustrated he has never tried again. The mere threat of me coming home to the knowledge that a punch was thrown has stopped all such abuses against the mom as well. And I've never hit him or done anything inappropriate. So why does this work? Just as I would hesitate to fight someone 150 lbs heavier than me, he understands the same. The mom never understands when I say this, but men just operate this way. Trust me.

User - posted on 07/31/2013

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@Betty please try the gluten free and casein freed diet, vitamins and fish oil and nothing artificial diet before meds. I have heard countless times those meds really mess kids up. It really does work!

Wassim - posted on 07/03/2013

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My son Saif is exhibiting mixed symptoms of ADHD and Autism some have said mild Autism some ADHD he has Delayed Speech and doesn't swallow hard food its like he doesn't know how to swallow. He is smart know to operate Tv is Potty trained. I sought the help of Speech pathologist to help him but they recommended OT who started 1 month ago. There is no progress with Speech but with behaviour is slightly better 5 out of 100 which is a blessing because you all know what we are going through.I will get some Epsom salt sugessted by OT to bathe him lets see if it helps. Please eould love any helping sugesstions because we are on the same boat.

Betsey - posted on 06/21/2013

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We went to the doctor today with our 4 year old son .Our suspicions was confirmed,he does have adhd!This is breaking my heart but he has just been out of control.Hes so bad at preschool there ready to tell me to find different placement for him.This is the second pre school.The first one said we are just not equipped to handle him here and gave me 2 weeks.This kid is so precious,but because hes so hyper and always bouncing off the walls people just think hes a bad kid.No Way!!!!Im really nervous about starting this medicine. I was hoping maybe some of you could tell me what to expect in the first few days and so on.Maybe even share some success stories lol...

Amanda - posted on 06/15/2013

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I believe my 4 year old son has it. My daughter that is 6 also has it and on medication s for it. My son has a lot of engry. He can't seen to settle down. A lot of behavior problems that's I don't understand why a lot of the times. He always climbing on things. And displain nothing works he just screams and crys... sometimes its a lot to handle. My other two don't have it. There days I don't know where to put myself....

Lisa Jayne - posted on 05/20/2013

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change the gummies to a capsule kids smart one its higher in fish oil and not just a top up

Lisa Jayne - posted on 05/20/2013

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i have a daughter harmony who is three and is running away have bolts etc on windows and seeking help thru fmc and local doctors etc where i can seek help for her and doctors dont know what to do with her no more waiting for a letter to our doctors to see what the next step is im tired all the time i have 3 at home out of 6 children cant get medication til 7 i think its 2 late for her then she be out of control.i have got her on a special diet gluten free and watching sugar and salt intake even taking smart kids fish oil

User - posted on 05/08/2013

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PLEASE LISTEN.. I have been dealing with this since before she was even one. My sister had this problem with her 2 yr old and she went to a naturalist and they put him on a casein and gluten free diet. Look it up ! It works! My daughter is a different child when she is casein and gluten free. My husband gave her gluten crackers the other night he is new to all of this. She was pushing her brother, running in circles, got out of her bed like ten times, her language is weird, and most important there are circles under eyes. Unfortunate, it takes about a week for her to go back to normal. I cook more natural. I dont use anything with dye, no casein(dairy), gluten,msg. Try putting your child on a meat, vegetable, and soft fruit(limit citrus) almond milk for a week and see if the behavior changes. I live in a place where is several options to eat healthy with 3 health food stores. There might be a whole food or nature oasis near you they are good. Also sometimes kids are missing something from their diet which can cause that. I give her fish oil gummies, a vitamin , and probiotics with no dyes and gluten free. Here is just one link of some ones story but there are thousands

. http://www.anchoragepress.com/news/the-g...

It sure beats medicine because actually you really dont know how safe it is and it could hurt your child.
oh and my sisters kid use to take a caffine pill. ESpecially in adhd kids it does the reverse effect and makes them calm but I dont know how youg you can use one. She received advice from a naturalist. He is now 8 and is normal just because of eating healthy and the supplements

Charlotte - posted on 05/04/2013

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@candy . sounds to me like Odd. And @ Emma your son sound alot like he has Autism Spectrum Disorder and ADHD . My son this year was diagnosed with Autism,Add,and aniexty disorder. He does the rocking back and forth. It is possible like my son to have multiplt disorders together . I'm not an expert but I've learned a thing or to from all the thousands of docters we have seen lol.

User - posted on 05/02/2013

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My daughter is going to be 5 in October and she was just recently diagnosed with ADHD. I am trying my hardest to find activities that will keep her interest and going for walks. I swear just getting the diagnosis, her school told me it was my parenting. I try to bring harmony to my house but apparently her school doesn't think so. If anyone has any suggestions please let me know. I want to find things that maybe her and her step-brother can play and, hopefully, get along doing. One thing I wanted to share with everyone on here is somethings that really do work with her. Even though it's still a struggle to keep her focused.

One trick to help get kiddos to take naps, in a spray bottle put 1 or 2 drops of either vanilla or lavender and spray a few sprays in the kiddos room right before nap it'll smell great and help them sleep.

If you are like me and like to go for walks, because it gets you out and gets some the kiddos energy out (even though I swear it doubles every time you some of their energy out), but anyways make the walks fun, I know it's hard to take them out in public but walks don't have to be boring or in public. Go out to an area not a lot of people go and take a Sensory/Concept walk.

Here are some thing to keep them looking and interested. Have them look for:
Visual-one thing on the ground, one thing at eye level, and one thing in the sky or up high.
Auditory-nature sounds (birds singing, crickets), man made sounds (car, airplane)
Smell-natural smells (flowers, creek bed), man made smells (perfume, etc)
Touch-things that are soft or hard (flowers, rocks)
Numbers-find 2 sticks and 3 flowers
Colors-3 things that are green (you can choose a different color)
Size-3 things that are bigger than a squrell, and 3 things that are smaller than a leaf
Alike and Different- 2 things that are the same (2 sticks), 2 things that are different (rock, flower)

These are just some suggestions. I hope they help.

Emma - posted on 04/30/2013

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I have a son that is 3 1/2 and I have been dealing with counselors and specialists and doctors visits to try to get some help for his behavior for the past year and a half now and they just keep telling me that it is my parenting and that since I had him at 19 years old and he's my first and only child, I don't know what I'm talking about. His doctor said he could possibly have early onset ADHD and possible Bipolar disorder, as his moods change drastically more quickly than that of any other children I have ever encountered in my entire life! He is also EXTREMELY active. He cannot sit still unless he is playing or fidgeting with something, and the TV has to be on at all times because he needs the constant stimulation. He also rocks back and forth almost all the time. No matter if we are in the car, he's sitting in front of the tv, or sometimes even when he's sitting in the middle of the floor, playing with toys, he will just rock against the air. It's like he doesn't even realize he's doing it half the time, because when I ask him to stop, sometimes he does (depending on if he feels like listening or not). And discipline with him is IMPOSSIBLE! I've tried every time out and taking toys away, I even resorted to spanking (didn't work of course, so I stopped) but, I'm just out of solutions to this problem. He is almost 4 years old and isn't even potty trained yet because everytime I try to get him to go, whether I reward him and praise him until I'm blue in the face, he just has zero interest. He even sees other children going potty, and that hasn't even sparked an interest, and I refuse to push him because I tried that once before (daycare was kind of on my case about him being potty trained in order to be in their "preschool room") and he just seemed to regress after a few weeks. When he eats, he won't stay sitting. And sometimes it takes him hours to finish his food. Once it's finally gone, it's like I'm preparing his next meal already. And he's extremely picky at what he will and will not eat also. He just refuses to try anything new, especially if it has any type of RED sauce on it. So no pizza, spaghetti, anything of the sort. And like I said, his moods change within seconds....the other day after daycare, I was preparing supper and he came up and gave me a big hug and told me he just missed me so much. Then he turned around, grabbed his cup off the table, and chucked it at me screaming "I SAID I WANT JUICE! I HATE YOU!" and stormed off into his bedroom stomping and crying. I'm not sure what to do about this anymore, but I am so exhausted because this has been going on for so long, without any progress of positive results. Originally, I took him to the doctor for this issue because he was very violent, towards any children that are younger than him, and to me. Since we moved into an apartment of our own (we were living with a roommate and her child), the violence towards other children has decreased greatly. However, he still finds it hilarious to punch me with all of his strength, leaving bruises every time he gets angry, or even when he just thinks it's time to fight. I understand he is a boy and he will be rambunctious and wants to play fight, but there is a line between okay and unacceptable, and clearly nothing I'm doing is right according to these so-called "therapists" and "specialists".

Elisha - posted on 03/11/2013

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Hi i have a 4 year old girl which i think may have ADHD shes shows all the signs all day everyday and has done for about 2years, shes very loud, rough and hyper, cannot listen to instructions, does not understand the consequences of her actions, gets extremely distracted, for example if i gave her a piece of toast to eat and left her to eat it it could take her about 2 hours sometimes as anything and everything distracts the tv would not be on no noise this isnt good as she has type 1 diabeties so needs to eat! Everything takes her a long time to do because she just cant concentrate or focus on what shes meant to be doing and gets distracted, i cannot take her anywhere shes very distruptive and difiant and doesnt listen to a word i say and i cannot control her at all. She never ever sits still no matter what shes doing, she shouts when talks and butts in, finds it hard to share and can be spiteful to other children and find it funny, smashes up her toys and destroys her bedroom, i try everything time out is pointless, takin things away she likes just makes her worse and very aggressive, i praise her when she does something good, tried a sticker chart and I'm very firm and consistent with discipline everytime, no means no, i do all the right things but nothing works it is as though she is possessed by something, shes very baby like in the things she does and way she acts also if was told to wait for a mim while i finish doing something she'd throw herself back on the floor and head butt the floor and scream extremely loud. Her pre-school have noticed some of these things i have spoken to a family support worker and my health visitor but no one wants to listen or do anything i have been to her doctor who has written a letter to the pediatricians but that was over 6 or 7 months ago and have not heard anything back, they've received the letter as i phoned them to chase it up. Everyday is a challenge with her i just dont know what else to do

Elisha - posted on 03/11/2013

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Hi i have a 4 year old girl which i think may have ADHD shes shows all the signs all day everyday and has done for about 2years, shes very loud, rough and hyper, cannot listen to instructions, does not understand the consequences of her actions, gets extremely distracted, for example if i gave her a piece of toast to eat and left her to eat it it could take her about 2 hours sometimes as anything and everything distracts the tv would not be on no noise this isnt good as she has type 1 diabeties so needs to eat! Also i cannot take her anywhere shes very distruptive and difiant and doesnt listen to a wo

Candy Leeann - posted on 02/21/2013

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My son was displaying symptoms from the time he was old enough to walk. From birth he was always extremely fussy. We thought...colic. At two he was ramming his head into walls whenever the word "no" was said, or something was taken from him that he should not be playing with. It has gotten worse over the years. He has destroyed our home Physically and emotionally. He is only 8 and has been expelled from one school, and now on his way to being expelled from another. We have tried all types of discipline and nothing gets his attention. Positive reinforcement angers him. He screams at us, his teachers, other children....He acts like he is deamon possessed. Everyone is at a loss. We are all fed up, scared, confused, and down right sick of the war we are being posed with. Someone...please have something of advice to give.

Jennifer - posted on 02/03/2013

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He is a loud player.is not affraid of anything like knifes or a hot oven.he is like a robot on the go all day long.he will climb and get whatever he wants.you have to stay on him constantly.my other child has it and he is worse.

Lindsey - posted on 02/01/2013

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I am surprised that they will diagnose it that young. Every professional I talked to would not even test my daughter till she was five. But they made it a exception cause I went to a developmental pediatrician. she was diagnosed with ADHD with the hyperactivity. The only reason we tested it is because she was so far behind developmentally. she was a preemie and through therapy she was not making very much progress. We put her on medication and it has made a world of difference. She could not focus. A pin could drop in a noisy room and that would get her attention and she would be in a whole different world. It also helped retain information she got through therapy and preschool. My son does have it and it in 1 st grade now. I have not had him tested for it. I have talked to his pediatrician about it. We both know he has it but she told me when it becomes a problem in school then we will take action. He is a very active boy. I started him in youth wrestling when he was in preschool. He loves it and he has learned how to focus. He loves the sport so much and helped out so much that in his second year he went to state and this year is going to state and nationals. My daughter has a harder time focusing. But we work on it all the time.

Jennifer - posted on 01/31/2013

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I have a six year old with adhd and im starting to think my 4 year has it.hes not affraid of anything dangerous.hes non stop.butts in conversations and is very aggressive towards his brother.you are not alone.it is hard and can drive you crazy.

Beth - posted on 01/22/2013

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Angela , take a way the thing she loves the most.
Every kid has a currency. You just have to find it.

Angela - posted on 01/22/2013

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My daughter is 4 and truly a terror. i understand completly on not being able to take their children out in public.. I refuse to the way it always turns out. BriAnna is very loud, always, obnoxious, smart mouth, always wants the last word. she hits me, comes from behind me and pushes me. She is 4 but very stout. 50 pounds of pure muscle. she is my only child, i am 38 and a lil over 100 lbs. I have mentioned this to her dr but they never want to do anything. I am literally at my wits end, i cant do it anymore. Spanking doesnt work, just makes her mad and she lashes out at me. time outs, no way, she is never still or quiet. i dont know what to do, would love some answers.

Paola - posted on 01/15/2013

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My son is 4 and he has all the signs of ADHD the innatentive type. Although he is o.k at school he is always put in time out in other activities (swimming, Aikido, gymnastics, soccer ). He lack attetion, does not listen to instructions and is disruptive in these settings.) I am not sure what to do. I try behavior charts (work minimally), positive reiforcement, presents yopu name it and to not avail. Andres is a very happy and loving little boy> It became easier for me when I stop comparing him to the other kids who pay atttention and follow directions. i keep hoping that when he finds what he likes he will be able to pay attention. He is able to watch T.V. without a problem as well as the educational games in the kindle. It is esier fior him to learn in a computer (ABC mouse) or the educational tools for the tablets.
Slight improvement when I limit artifitial colors 9very hard to do)

Lauren - posted on 01/06/2013

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Just wanted to link to this article b/c of the connection with celiac (gluten autoimmune disease) and ADHD type behaviors. There are scholarly ones out there if you google them too.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/articl...

At 3 years old we were having issues like the hitting/biting, tantrums in public places and at home, kicked out of preschool, and signs of impulsivity that lead to an ADHD dx at 4 and a SPD (sensory processing disorder: tactile defensive, sensory seeker/vestibular issues) at 3. He's six and his sensory issues are resolved enough now that we know he's not ADHD. In our case, his dx has changed to Autism. It took us a while to get the dx b/c our pedi and school staff kept assuring me he couldn't be on the spectrum b/c he was social (no stranger danger and it was only on his terms) and made eye contact (myth not fact). We had experts evaluate him and he's considered high functioning (though most don't like to use that terminology). We are still working on using our words vs. our hands through ABA and speech therapy (not for articulation but for pragmatics). By the way, timeouts did nothing to curb his behavior - we use positive reinforcement instead and started with rewards (we used tick marks and tallied them up for larger rewards) every 15 minutes. We wasted two years medicating my son without any gains. He still has moments of impulsive behavior so I'm looking into dietary changes. Just wanted to let you know that things can and will get better. If something isn't working, keep digging...

Nonie - posted on 11/27/2012

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Basically temper tantrums, stubborness, sometimes they have a hard time sharing with other kids. I never left my 3-4 year old alone with anyone smaller than him because he was sometimes a bully when things didn't go his way with someone smaller than him. He also had ODD though and was a bit aggressive sometimes too. My child had a problem expresssing his emotions and even though he really wanted to work on building model cars with his grandpa he didn't have the patience. Sometimes he was rough on toys so only spend your money on the good stuff or it will just be broken. He used to throw toys when he got mad. At that age my parents always called him bam bam, like the flinstones, because everything was big and loud and rough. His room was for sleep with very little besides books in it so that he didn't get distracted with fun things to do at bedtime. All his toys were in the living room because he didn't like to play alone much anyway as he wanted me to watch and play with him when he was playing. Let me tell you it's so much easier to pick up a 4 year old at the store when he's having a hard day dealing with stuff than it is a 10 year old. They love to play outside. I never allowed him to have any video games in the house because I wanted him to play. We did lots of art projects but I always had to organize all the things ahead of time and be very careful to plan for extra messiness ahead of time because a typical 4 year old doesn't think, much less someone who has less attention and more activeness than normal at that age. When doing art projects always have a wet wash cloth and the towels laying ready to go at the scene of the art project so you don't have to take them anywhere else in the house. Just a hint that worked well for me so we didn't have hand prints on the walls on the way to the bathroom after paint projects. It's such a fun age, but just becareful when you take them places because too much stimulus will make them have a really rough time so try and go when there's not tons of kids. Keep on a regular schedule and it helps alot. It's easy to help them understand bedtime is when barney goes off every day etc..rather than just because you said so. Keep it simple and when you are asking them to do something just ask them to do one thing at a time. They loose interest alot and very fast unless you find something that sticks with them. Just really lots of out doors fresh air activities helps wear them down for bed at night.

Amie - posted on 11/25/2012

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That is the exact description of my soon to be 3 yr old .... but after reading some posts on here I tried giving her coffee one time just to c what it would do n one sip made her so calm she laid on the couch and went to sleep. But after watching her more closely like her movements, like she has a blanket and it has to b everywhere she is but when she holds it she kinda I guess u can call it petting it. Is it normal for a 2 yr old to twiddle her fingers pretty much all day ... she is very smart but likes to figit a lot, lie and hide things n get into everything .... a couple weeks ago she dumped an entire can of formula all over the living room .. idk how much more of this I can take I'm at my last leg here

Beth - posted on 11/18/2012

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ok folks, Sorry but the behaviors that are seen in ADHD children are behaviors normally seen in children prior to age 7. That is the reason why many drs won't DX it. The big issue that ADHD kids have is impulse control . Which is why you'll see 4 and 5 yr old behavior is a child of 10.No impulse control is normal for young children.

Look into some parenting books. Love and Logic is a good one.

Stick to your guns,no matter what they do NO means NO. Don't give in.

And if you do get a dx at one time, ADHD is never an excuse for misbehavior.

If diet fixes your problem , it's not ADHD it's a food allergy.

What ARE they eating ? Sugar and caffeine do light kids up. Carbs are just sugars. and do the same thing as giving them a spoon full of sugar. Look into which carbs are good and which carbs are bad. If a child has ADHD caffeine will actually show them down, it's a stimulant , most ADHD medications are stimulants.

Patricia - posted on 11/16/2012

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ADHD kids are impulsive they do things with out thinking it through they are very active and need things to do a lot daily they can be quite naughty if not kept very stimulated. hitting other kids and being really rough on animals is a problem i find he is more so rough with usually his siblings i do time outs to but they do not have a lot of effect even with being consistant but i think they would be worse if i wasn't he goes to pre school once a week and that has helped him. diet does help a little bit they won't prescribe my son anything until he is 5 yrs old so i have to wait my 7 year old is on slow release concerta but it makes her hands shake and hr peadtrician just fob it off very quickly and said it is a side affect i did not even read that in the pamphlet going to find someone else i think

Amie - posted on 11/16/2012

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I know it is very frustrating. I don't really know where or what else to do. She is so young I think they just think she's just a toddler and that's how they all act but they aren't around to see how she acts every day.

Joanne - posted on 11/15/2012

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hi i have a sone age 4 and has been seeing doctors for years now with no diagnosis witch is really frustrating as he has no friends and often has to be restrained in school i have done so many parenting courses and nothing works with him and i feel like they are always trying to point the finger at me as a perent when i have two girls that i never have a problem with he shouts when he talks cant sit still and lashes out all the time even to strangers i dont know what to do or where to turn

Amie - posted on 11/15/2012

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I have the same problems with mine she's almost three is it safe to give vitamins n stuff because I asked her pediatrician about stuff like that and they told me absolutely not but I can't keep waitingIt out it's gotten really bad

Amie - posted on 11/15/2012

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I have major behavior problems with my niece she is almost 3 I have had her since she was 10 months old and we were awarded custody since April she is extreme with everything she does not just at home but when were out as well. I have a 1yr old too and he is completely laid back. I thought maybe it was somethin we were doin to make her act like this but she has already almost been kick out of daycare for biting three different kids within the same day and hitting is a major factor. I tried talking to her pediatrician about this because I'm worried it might have something to do with her mother using recreational drugs during the pregnancy. I've tried all the no sugar and food secrets none of it works, her pediatrician just told me to be persistent and I've been as persistent as I can I've tried time out , taking away toys , I don't know what else to do she doesn't even care about getting in trouble anymore.... please help I don't want these actions to reflect onto my son

Nonie - posted on 10/24/2012

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I knew my son was different at about 3. We used to call him bam-bam because everything was so extreme; extremely strong, extremely tempermental, extremely loud, extremely hyper, extremely energetic... just extreme. He had speech issues when he was younger so he didn't talk non-stop because it frustrated him when he couldn't speak right. That took from pre-k to 3rd grade of speech therapy and now he's doing well and graduated form speech therapy. That was how I knew in kindergarden he was never going to be able to sit, because he could never sit before that so school wasn't going to be able to change him. They prefer not to diagnose it until 5 or 6 typically. I recognized it because my cousins kids had it and I grew up with a kid who had it who was a friend. Try and keep him away from lots of sugar, anything with red dye or darker dyes that are not natural colors, etc. I found that works well for my son to help limit the extreme part typically unless he's having a bad day. Wait until about 5 or 6 to get him diagnosed when you start him in school. That's when he will need the diagnosis to get an IEP for behavioral issues that will protect him from getting suspended in school.

Jessaca - posted on 10/23/2012

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We have tried many other stimulants. All have done similar side effects. The patch I can at least take off after a few hours. We are wanting to try non stimulants but he needs to learn to swallow pills :/

I have not changed his diet much but really should try. He definitly is better on the meds! I just hate the anxiety. I have terrible anxiety and know how awful it feels. I cannot imagine what he is going through. We have a therapist coming to the house tomorrow. I'm super excited to see what she says. It's nice to have the help and encouragement. Thank you all and hang in there!!!!

Dawn - posted on 10/23/2012

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If your meds are not working try a diff. one. They put my son on ADDERALL. He went from HF autistic to classical. We got him switched to STRATTERA and TENNEX and he is SOOOOOOOOO much better. We also tried the diet route first. It helped but not enough. He is 4 1/2 and has been on meds for 6 months now. So if the stimuant is a no-no try a non-stim. If you want to try the diest then you got to take it ALL out for 2-3 weeks min. then add things back in and see what happens. It has to be a few weeks because they can can go through "withdrawl" and actually get worse for a week or 2. We are currently Gluten Free, Soy Protien Free, Corn Syrup Free and Food Color Free. We were Casien and "oat" free but those are back in now. We had discovered that when he got wheat or food color he became very aggressive so the doc had us go Gluten and Casien free. We also notice corn syrup (high frut. or reg) and he is off the walls. We had him off everything for 8 months and then added Casien back. Now he has been Gluten free for a year so we started back on Oats (not everyone w/gluten problems has a prob. w/oats) Next will be the heavy hitter--wheat. He also is taking digestive enzymes and now eats and no longer tells us he hurts (that did not happen until after he was 4 so I dont know if he wasnt eating at 3 for that reason or cause he couldnt stay still) Yes it was a pain in the rear end, but I am glad we did it. We didnt want to go right to meds if there was another fix and maybe you can take less if diet is part of the problem. You can get a test but that will only tell you if you are celiac not if you are sensitive. If you are able to then look into SPD (sensory processing deficits/disorder). A OT can do the eval and they have things to do that will help. Many ADHD kids have SPD or only have SPD and it is misdiagnosed as ADHD. My son is a major sensory seeker and was an avoider at the same time before interventions(what fun!) Now he is mostly just a seeker. For him his OT noticed if she could get him to calm down he could complete more tasks so he has both ADHD and SPD. If it is just SPD then meds will not do much and therapy will. If it is ADHD and not SPD then therpy will not do much. I know its a lot of you try and see but that seems to be the only thing these days. I am on other sites too and they have all been through the trial and error (some for years--gulp---) Good luck I hope some of this helps you.

Dawn

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