How do you handle judgmental, non-accepting people???

Deb - posted on 06/22/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

21

0

My youngest son is six, diagnosed with ADHD and is on the Autism Spectrum. He is very high-functioning and verbal. Very smart and does well in school. He has many friends IN SCHOOL and in his after school program. They are wonderful to him and he is blessed in this way.

Here's the problem...when it comes to socialization, He is clueless. Of course we are working on this with him and indeed, we've come a long way. We are seasonal campers and from May through August we can usually be found at our camp, complete with lake, pool, etc.

Most of the time folks can tell J has some issues and are usually kind about it. But yesterday, we had (or truthfully I HAD) a really bad day. I took J to the pool and as soon as he hit the water, he started babbling and yelling and crying out (all joyfully!) but really calling attention to himself. He has been swimming since he was about a year old and we have a pool at home, but you'd think this was his first dip in the water.

Well ALL of the kids tried to stay away from him. My poor little boy was so happy and kept swimming up to kids and they immediately swam away, went underwater, or once, splashed him in the face to get away. Even the adults! I was horrified. J saw a swim noodle not being used and b 4 I could stop him, he climbed on. I quickly told him, no, this is not ours J, and took him off. The "father" standing there took the noodle and placed it up on the side of the pool deck.

If that were me or my husband ( a real dad) we would have said go ahead honey, you can use it, just bring it back when you're done.

The second time we went in the pool, we cleared it of all people and kids within five minutes. My son said, "where did everybody go?"

You know, I found myself telling him earlier, J, stop making so much noise, honey. Please keep quiet! None of the other kids are making noise like you...when I realized that I was squelching his JOY and DELIGHT at being in the pool! But it was so hard...everyone was staring....and I'm just a horrible mom. I wanted to stand on a platform and yell myself that he's just a little boy! He just wants to make a friend! What's wrong with you people???

I really needed to vent. Thank you for listening...

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms

2 Comments

View replies by

Kristin - posted on 06/25/2012

619

0

I dont get it myself, when we go sweimming all the kids are loud and if one is different than the rest they always include tme. I agree with you that if my child had a toy he wasnt using and another child wanted to play with it I would let them no questions asked. I view things as everyone is out to have fun and that everyone should be treated equally and fairly. I have met plenty of kids who do not have ADHD or autism and are really rather loud and obnoxious and I do not think anyone has the right to judge or look down upon anyone else as they have not walked a day in thier shoes. I know my kids have embarrasswed me at times and so have all my friends kids. I think your an awesom mom for letting your son be who he is and enjoys life, so what if he is loud? At least he is living and having fun which is really what life is all about,

Louise - posted on 06/23/2012

5,429

69

This is so sad. People just think he is an unruley boy and leave. This is something that he is going to face often and will have to get used to. He will not notice that he is being loud and making people leave, but you will. Try as hard as you can not to let it get to you. Your son may quieten down a little when he is older but he can not control his excitement at the moment. Try not to let this spoil your days out together, make the most of what you have and let the ignorant people leave.