I feel like I'm the only parent with ADHD kids!

Christy - posted on 05/01/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I'm a young Mom of two boys ages 9 and 4. My oldest has been struggling through school since Kindergarten. He's had all kinds of help at school with everything to help him stay at grade level and also with behavior issues and getting along with other kids. This has all been good except for the problem of other parents and teachers! I feel like they think I'm never doing enough or I just can't control my son. It's very frustrating as a Mom because I'm trying my hardest everyday to work with my son and give him the best. I finally got him a prescription for Vyvanse and filled it yesterday. We have never put him on meds but I think its time. He's old enough to communicate with us about how it will make him feel.I'm not starting it until the weekend because of side effects .The funny thing is as I was at the Docotors for my oldest I had my younger son with me. The Docotor smilied and said you know your younger one has some symptoms. I knew he did but the thing is I kinda hoped this wasn't true! So here we go again! He starts Kindergarten in the fall. It's hard because I'm the only one in my whole circle including family that is dealing with this. I can talk to them all I want but they just don't seem to understand where I'm coming from! I 'm I the only one?

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Jennifer - posted on 05/05/2009

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Hi Christy. Trust me, you are not the only one! There are lots of moms out there just like you. I just recently put my daughter who is 7 on stratterra for her ADHD. She also has ODD. She was diagnosed quite a few months ago and it has been a hard struggle trying to decice what is the best thing for her. To be honest I was skeptical about ADHD until I had to deal with it myself. I too have dealt with the feeling you get from other parents who seem to think your child is just a "bad kid". All you can really do is to just blow it off because until you've dealt with it firsthand you really wouldn't understand. Hang in there. We are all here for ya!

User - posted on 05/04/2009

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Christy - From one Christie to another - you are not alone. My son is 10 now and having problems long before pre-school. He was even kicked out of day-care and in constant trouble starting in pre-school. We finally had him diagnosed at the end of his first grade year.

We struggled and tried everything, and after talking to one specialist, he put it very crystal clear. If your child was diabetic, would you deprive him of insulin. I strongly believe that also applies to truly diagnosed ADHD children, if there is a medication that can improve the chemical imbalance in his brain to help him through life, then why not.

There is a great book out there on Amazon.com called "Parenting Children with ADHD" by Vincent Monastra, phd. It's a great book.

Good luck and hope the new medication works.

Rabecca - posted on 05/04/2009

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So I think I can say we all know what you mean by feeling alone or having that only kids that have ADHD and as far as schools and other parents my gosh you would think that we just made up ADHD one day and it is not a real issue Good Lord do some people never get out into the world I can say for one I knew what it was and some not all of the symtoms that go along with it. You know looking back pre kids I can remember being out and thinking good grief control your kids when they are in public Well wasnt I suprised when I had one of those kids and the thing is no matter what I did said or threatend he never got it. And even at the time it want funny some of the things he did were histerical I can laugh now but there was a time when I waas scared to take him anywhere he never had anysort of a filter and would just say the most off the wall things to people like screamming through the store any one here like peanut butter and jelly okay raise your hands this was at like 3 years old. plus just telling people they are short fat ugly women whose voices sounded like a man and asking an elderly woman why her skin was fallling off her face she was nice though and said well sweety cuz I old thank goodness she though he was cute.but that was the easy stuff .As far as wanting people to understand what they maight never know or relize yes we disapline most likely the very same way they do or like other parents with ADHD kids 10 times more than they do it just does not connect with our kids ,they do not process the information the way "regular" kids do .I had to find away to block that out because I felt the same thing as well as feeling isolated from friends and family not wanting me to bring my son over because of his actions you are correct people do think it's are fault we are doing something wrong or our kids would not act like that but you need to just know in your heart your a great mom and you will find the answers to help your sons

Jennifer - posted on 05/02/2009

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Vyvanse can be fantastic, my 7 year old daughter is on it and she's a freaking angel on it! but, she really scared be, becvause the first 24 hours she didn't want to eat anything, so don't freak out, just wait and see. Adderall worked, but wore off early, so the teachers got the angel and I got the emotional psycho as soon as I picked her up from school. Vyvanse lasts till 8pm for her! and I usually give it to her around 7 am.

as for feeling alone, I totally understand. Luckily I have a friend who has a boy and a girl with it, so we can commisserate. As for school and other parents, even dr.'s YOU know best, I saw things were different, wrong, but I didn't want to do anything till I had to, but when they refused to test her in kindergarten, then told me they were going to make her repeat I got her to a nurse pract. the next day, she was on adderall that day and making huge improvement, and leaps and bounds at a different school the next year. . . AFTER I MADE the school test her, they didn't want to test her either. Kicker is, they still couldn't come up with a diagnosis, and neither did the neurologist, but they allagreed with me after the testing, about her symptoms. She is now getting help in reading, math, speech and social skills!!! ya gotta fight for your kid. and it's hard, I have ADHD, but I diagnosed myself before a dr. agreed, I"d prev. been diagnosed with anxiety and some depression. . . well that's another conversation, both my girls have it, well, the 5 year old has adHd if ya know what I mean, and is super intelligent and scares the crap out of me, and the 7 year old has ADD, and needs lots of help and understanding. but I will fight for both of them, and the baby who will be arriving June 3rd, who will, I'm sure also have it, as my husband has ADD, undiagnosed.

sorry really long, but meds can be a life/sanity saver, I still can't give them to my youngest though, as I have to force her to eat as it is, she'd starve if her appitite was supressed anymore!

don't give up, you're not alone!

Jen

Laurie - posted on 05/01/2009

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My husband & I fought against the meds. My son had problems since kindergarten - finally as a Freshman with serious issues w/ school and behavior, we put him on Vyvanse and within a day HUGE difference. He feels good about himself. He can concentrate on his school work and brings home A's & B's w/o really trying. His decision making abilities are better too. Now we are feeling the guilt of "wish we would have medicated sooner". We just did the best we knew. Hang in there! You are doing everything right - getting him the help and by being an involved mother. Don't worry about what other people think - they are not in your situation. Until they are, their opinions don't really matter.

Amanda - posted on 05/01/2009

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I have twins that have ADHD and they are 6. They were diagnosed at 4 years old and they have been on meds since they were 5. They have a real hard time in school and they just never seem to settle down. I don't know of ANY other parents that have children with ADHD and it upsets me to think that people think that I am not doing my best as a mother to take care of my children when they act up. I hope that everything turns out for you.





My son was on Vyvanse and it did absolutely nothing for him. It was like he wasn't even on meds! If that doesn't work make sure you let the doctor know, but all kids are different and it could be the one thing your son really needs. Good luck!

Matti - posted on 05/01/2009

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Hi Christy, Chin up hun, my son is almost 26 and was diagnosed at about 9. He was first diagnosed with being mentaly slow. He was put in a school for handicapped children. I knew he wasnt. I have adult adhd. I know how they feel, learn and live.

Ive been in the position that you are in with people looking at you. My parents were even doing it. Patience is so important here. Your son's self esteem is very important. Find what hes pationate about. If you can do this and have him excell in that area he will feel better about himself.

My son has had medications and they were wonderful for him. He learned so much!



Just a bit more on him. He did two tours in Iraq and one in afganistan. He was a corpman in the navy and now is a paramedic. So you see all is not lost. Love your sons for who they are and they will turn into your greatest treasures!



Goodluck!

Tammy

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