My 13 year old son, no friends, no activities

Misti - posted on 07/27/2009 ( 9 moms have responded )

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Tyler has been ADHD since he was 4, and it has just gotten worse. He doesnt act like a 13 year old, but more like a 8 year old. I think that adds to him not having any friends, and he is getting into girls, but because he acts so immeture ofcourse they want nothing to do with him. The medication he is on only works for a little while, and we cant find anything that works any better. Plus sometimes he spaces out like a mild sezure( been checked into and was negative). Does this sound familar to any one??? Any advise would be great, please.

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Heather - posted on 07/29/2009

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Hi I too have a 13yr old who just sounds exactly like yours!! He is so immature that his 11yr old brother seems miles ahead of him. It is embarrassing when you are out. He just acts so weird all the time! On top of that he also has tourettes which causes him to make minor vocal noises, sniffs all the time and has dreadful eye and facial movements. He seems to be so much worse now that the school holidays are here and is much harder to control when he is out of routine with no structure and no friends. He wants to spend the whole time on his i-pod touch playing games or watching the tv! He goes to Scouts which is good but has little interaction with the other boys his age preferring solitary or adult company. He drives us round the bend at times! It is so hard constantly being on your guard as you never know what he is going to do next. He hates his little brother and is always on at him annoying him or poking him!!!! It is so hard when you don't have much support.

Evita - posted on 03/03/2014

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I have question I'm looking , for books input anything. I have a younger brother who is 17 and has no friends and no social skills. My parents homeschooled him and neither one took the time to put him in sports or groups etc... He plays video games and does a lot of crafts. He is interested in the same crafts as my 7 year old daughter if she is painting a tea set he needs to have one as well. He's book smart however his emotional maturity level is equal to my friends 9 year olds. His activities the way he presents himself, the toys he has, He doesn't sleep in his bed he has always made excuses to sleep on the couch and if the issue is pushed he crys like a 4yr old and his clingy behaver to my mom it is a 9 year old. He does not have down syndrome, he is doing well in school as far as I know, he does have mild aspergers and tourettes. I know most of his problem is he is never with people outside the immediate family and lacks social skills but what world one do to fix the problem and is it something I should be concerned with.

Mikki - posted on 08/29/2009

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My son has a lot of friends, I do notice the maturity differences between my son and his other friends. However, he has his moments and some days we don't see him all day, other days we can't get him to leave the house. We require our kids to be active in a sport or other activity, he is a natural at baseball, but for the last 2 years he has been difficult to get motivated and involved. On the otherhand, my daughter (19) has one close friend, who is at college, but my daughter doesn't seem to have anyone else or do anything outside of the house and family. We have tried. We feel we failed when we didn't make her get involved with a sport or activity, but we cannot do everything for them, no matter how much we want to see them succeed, or is it our success!? A co-worker read an article about ADD/ADHD maturity levels, it stated that most kids are about 3 years behind their peers. I see that in my kids. My daughter didn't drive until 18, almost 3 years after her peers, my son is the same way, he is 12 and acts like he's 9 or younger sometimes. I believe they will catch up, but you just have to keep working on it, training is my thing. I try to "train" my son, but his father doesn't always help, he thinks he should be a kid forever. Hope this helps.

Fiona - posted on 07/30/2009

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I am so relieved to find that my ADHD son is not alone in the world when it comes to making friends. I feel so bad for him because he is finding it very easy to make friends at school, but very hard to keep them. He is 10 now and I am dreading the teenage years. I pray that he one day makes a friend at school who will be a friend for life. The strange thing is that there are many boys at school, who are on medication, but they don't seem to want to be friends with each other. Go figure!!!

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Jessica - posted on 03/24/2014

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My son is somewhat the same. He was diagnosed with Epilepsy at the age of almost 3 after my repeated attempts from the age of 9 months just to have his pediatrician do nothing. I finally switched pediatricians and she immediately referred him to a neurologist. Come to find out that his delayed diagnosis of Epilepsy has caused severe Mental Health issues. His diagnosis' include ADHD, ODD, Learning Disability, Multi-Plex Developmental Disorder, Pervasive Developmental Disorder, Depression and Severe Anxiety.

My son is 12 and resorts back to the youngest age around him. Like to the point where he will act like a 2 year old if a 2 year old is around us. He has no friends because he already thinks all the kids his actual age are his friends already.

He also has anger issues with female Adults including me. Alot of his anger and depression stems from his real dad only being around when it suits him. But I still am trying to find a happy medium for all of us. His anxiety got so bad that I had to pull him out of school and put him in online schooling but that's all he wants to do is play with toys like he is a 4 year old. He whines and cries and throws fits like a 2 year old throws fits. I can totally relate to almost everyone in this thread. If anyone can help me out with Medications, therapies, or anything of that nature please email me @ monkeysmamx2@gmail.com

Martha - posted on 07/17/2011

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my son is te same way ADHD and all. my thing is what do i do about school they put him in reg class because he has a IQ of 130 the other kid dont under stand him and want to hurt him .

Rosemary - posted on 07/29/2009

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Our son is ADHD since he was in kindergarden. He has a horrible time making friends and lacks social skills enough that we put him into counsling to learn social skills. Daniel is starting to get into girls at age 11, but is also to immature to know exactly what he is feeling. He takes concerta 72mg. every morning and then a 15 mg dose of ritalin to help him get through an entire school day. Our son is also in shotakon karate, it is an activity that teaches discipline and structure. Our son excels in it. . It is the only activity that he really enjoys as it is just a small group where Daniel doesn't feel the anxiety of a big group. Daniel does do some spacing out but it is more of a daydream than anything else. ..Sorry I couldn't be of more help.

Linda - posted on 07/29/2009

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Have you tryed the daytrana patch ? When else failed with my son this worked . Just keep trying you will find somthing that works. I know your heart is breaking . My son is 13 also and has very few friends untill school , I take him off the patch for the summer only because I keep him very busy with sports or the y swimming, and there have been times it been just him and I so hang in there !!!!

Kathy - posted on 07/27/2009

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my daughter is 14 and is the same way, she acts like she is 8. I have a 27 yr old who has asperger's and she was like this, finally acts like she is maybe 15.

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