What to do next?

Michelle - posted on 02/18/2011

Really stupid question for you....have you had him tested? Its possible you have an extremely gifted, intelligent kid, and he's just bored out of his mind when it comes to schoolwork. (Plus, he's 9, and those hormones are just beginning to spark.)
Also, you might check his diet. My cousin's son had a lot of the same issues you describe, and it turns out he had a food allergy to SUGAR. It just turns him into the Tasmanian Devil. Once they got his diet figured out, his behavior straightened out...he's 13 now, and non-medicated. But God, is it HARD to find a diet free of sugar. And I don't mean refined sugar...any sugar product, like corn syrup, glucose, fructose....

Lorrie - posted on 02/17/2011

Hi you are not alone I feel that way everyday with my boys mine are 10& 6 they both have ADHD sesory issues the younger one has odd the older was has been on focalin 10 mg twice a day he is under control my younger one we just started brightspark with a focalin 2.5 twice a day we had no choice his behavior was affecting his entire classroom and teacher he was out of control last night he was up all night.If that is one of the side affects then I'll look into another natrual homeremedy you might want to do that you are doing the best you can in a very difficult situation. You are an amazing mother and your son is very lucky to have you my son still chalenges me all the time medication can only control so much I have to keep telling myself that.

Linda - posted on 02/08/2011

Hi Emily,
Boy do I feel for you! My son is now 14 and it's been tough. It's hard when you know down deep in your heart that you love them,(and always will!) but there are days when you are at your wits end, that you just "don't like them". I always try and take a deep breath and remember that his brain just isn't "connecting" right. (I also make a bigger effort to hug him and tell him that I love him) We have found that Nutrition is huge! I found a specific supplemental nutrition shake and a fish oil capsule with a few other vit/mineral supplements have worked the best for him.It helps to "balance out" the brain chemistry. If you'd like some info I can get it to you. I wish you the best, you sound like a very caring and loving mom. Just remember, we are strong...and we can do hard things!
Have a great week!
Linda

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 02/03/2011

No you're not crazy or rambling. Ritalin isn't a sure fire fix for everyone. My brother couldn't take it because it stuck in his system and made him emotional. My mom took him off of it and he went all through school without being medicated and now works full time in a job that requires a lot of movement so the ADHD helps him.
I've tried telling my daughter (she's 6 and is exhibiting signs that my brother and I exhibited prior to diagnosis, but hasn't been diagnosed yet) that she needs to slow down and work at things. She gets frustrated easily.
Try getting him to just relax. I'm not really sure how to go about doing that because I'm horrid at it.. Don't worry so much about him hating you because he's your kid and at some point your kid's going to hate you. But if you stand by what you're doing things will work out a lot better.

Shannon - posted on 02/02/2011

Ive been there. My son is 14 now. Takes multi vitamin plus fish oil and does biofeedback 2x per week. He is off meds now so he sleeps and wakes easily thank god. The meds played havoc with sleeping/waking and destroyed eating habits....the meds also made him depressed. He was on most of the meds. Couple years then switched when they stopped working....it was miserable. Also there are many diets you should give them a shot. All kids are diff! Keep working till you get the right combo and it will all get better. Make a list of everything you want to try...keep track of results...and talk to your doc and therapist nonstop!

Alice - posted on 02/02/2011

Nope you are certainly NOT CRAZY!!!! Reading this I am almost in tears because it is very similar to what we have been dealing with with our son. He is almost 11 years old and we are struggling him flying through homework and his responsibilities just to get them done. He is currently failing the 5th grade but hopefully that will change soon. We spend so much time getting on to him that we never have any good time anymore. We were homeschooling this year because I felt he was not getting enough one on one time and he was slipping behind. When they went back to school after Christmas break we put him in public school....it has been SUPER OVERWHELMING! Last night we sat up until 11:15 doing homework and the night before we sat up until 3:00am doing homework. This is our only option because he is failing and he will not fail the 5th grade as far as I am concerned. He knows the work (because he has proven it to us) but he chooses to not apply himself or just fly through and write down whatever he wants. We are putting forth all this effort to help him and he is not.

SO NO YOU ARE NOT CRAZY!!! We are with you! I wish I had a remedy for you. I will say, the medicine we are on is called Vyvanse. It is not a timed release medication...your body determines when and how much is needed. It has worked well. We are actually getting ready to up his dose tomorrow. He is at 30 milligrams which is all he needed while homeschooling (there were less distractions and we finished earlier) but now that he is in public school and there are GIRLS and FRIENDS...I think the distractions are more so.

UGH...my heart goes out to you. Please feel free to contact me and talk or vent if you need to. Good luck!

Kim - posted on 02/02/2011

We didn't have success with our son on any of those medications either. While we still have some issues, he is doing very well on Vyvanse in the morning and a small dose of Focalin in the afternoon so he can get through homework. It has taken several years and a few doctors to get to where we are. If something isn't working, you need to let your Dr know and encourage them to make changes, or get another opinion. I know you feel your patience is at an end, but keep at it, you WILL get there.

Jennifer - posted on 02/02/2011

I agree with Myshell, you are doing the best you can and are sound like an excellent and loving mother who just wants to find the best way to help her child. My son is almost 6 and was diagnosed when he was 3 1/2. We have yet to put him on meds as we would like to try other approaches before that. I have in the last 6 months found a website called Native Remedies that sell homeopathic solutions for all sorts of things. They have a whole section on ADHD for children. We now have Liam on PureCalm Focus Formula and BrightSpark. We noticed a difference in the first 3 days. We also notice a big difference when he hasn't taken it! lol It is an all natural approach, will not interfere with any other medication because it is homeopathic and natural. It is worth a shot to try if it calms down what is going on in his head.
Kids with ADHD have such a hard time because their brain is all jumbled. My son is a big list kid...without them he loses it because there is nothing to organize his brain. Kids with ADHD are like snowflakes...there is no two ADHD kids alike. :)
Good luck and email if you want to talk. Hang in there. It will get better and he'll grow to be a wonderful young man who loves his mother for all the great things she did to help him through. xoxo

Myshell - posted on 01/29/2011

let me be the first to say "YOU ARE NOT CRAZY, YOU ARE AN EXCELLENT MOM AND YOU ARE DOING THE BEST YOU CAN!!" i have been exactly where you are, my boy is now almost 14. i have never put him on meds, i used diet, exercise, chamomille tea to calm him and melatonin at night to help him sleep. i know i am not a doctor but if i was you i would just stop the meds, especially if you are seeing no benefit. they do sell adhd vitamins/pills at health food stores. i had my son take his "vitamin" once a day and with a change in his diet we were able to see a difference. it did not really help with his mood swings though although they were much more manageable, everytime my son would say hateful things i would calmly look at him and say okay, but i love you. with my son doing homework, he would do ten min than have a ten min break, then start again. same thing with chores. it was tough to start but he did like it after a bit. you could play around with the times to make it work for your son. we also had other kids and it was pretty tough having to treat him different to get the results we wanted without having an outburst. once they understood that he did not learn the same or have the attention span they did things were much better. i would also teach the other kids how to deal with him. councelling may help, i know my son saw a school councellor for a cpl years. the way we worked it was that he could tell her anything and mom didnt know. the councellor and i would talk but i never let on that i knew anything. this helped him somewhat, feeling like he could get stuff off his chest without getting in trouble. (even though i told him he could tell me anything and he wouldnt get in trouble) i know it is hard and stressful, but every chance you get where you are smiling or laughing, even if its just for a moment, give your son a hug and tell him you love him and miss smiling/laughing with him. i'll bet he just smiles and says yeah. anyway, i feel like an old pro at behavioral problems with adhd, my son was kicked out of both school systems in the same day! if you have any questions please let me know, i'd be happy to let you know what i have done to make life manageable.