when was the last time....

Tah - posted on 09/03/2011 ( 27 moms have responded )

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you and the husband had a date???

didn't anything un-kid related together??

talked about anything besides the kids???

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Stifler's - posted on 09/03/2011

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I talk to people about clothes, shoes and what restaurants we like in town, stuff we saw on the news etc celebrities there are lots of topics other than kids. i hate it when i go over someone's place adn all we talk about is ohhh i have so much laundry to do my house is a bomb site the kids are whingeing etc etc it bores me. everyone has whingey kids and gets jack of cleaning the house... next topic! it's not so much talking about the kids that annoys me it's the housework and spring cleaning and what kind of vacuum and other cleaning products we have... interesting.., NOT

Tah - posted on 09/03/2011

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i think it has saved me from being depressed..because goodness knows ive been through some things that would drive someone to it...but it was just always important to keep a sense of me and my goals and where i see myself to make life better for me and the kids. by 21 i had 2, but i had 2 schools down and was moving to VA and starting nursing school, so i never lost site of what i wanted and was NEVER able to put all my trust in someone else so i have to keep a tad bit of independence, but then i was raised that way. I also encourage some independence in my children and i think its a good thing to have in this world these days

Stifler's - posted on 09/03/2011

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a month after renae was born so 2 months ago. we watch movies and play monopoly together but that's not counted. we talk about work and stuff like that all the time. it's not mu husband i have a problem with it's all my friends who have kids who talk about nothing but kids and housework. That's why I like having childless friends.

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Stifler's - posted on 09/19/2011

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And Constance that is awesome if Damo had an affair I wouldn't even talk to him to work it out haha you're a better woman than me! *hugs*

Stifler's - posted on 09/19/2011

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We went to my friends from school's wedding on the weekend it was soooo good to dress nicely and have no kids. And wear killer heels. We went and got fish and chips and ate at the beach between the wedding and reception too :) It was almost like a date

Constance - posted on 09/19/2011

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I am lucky to have him. I never thought I could love somebdy so much. I love the way he looks at me it makes me melt. You are right sometimes you have to almost lose something to realize how much you wantand need it.

Merry - posted on 09/19/2011

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Sometimes it takes a glimpse at loosing everything you thought you didn't want to find out the same things you thought you didn't want are actually the very things you can't live without.
He's a lucky man to have you!

Constance - posted on 09/19/2011

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I know is so weird to me as well. Who would have thought an affair would bring us closer. We have been together for 17 yrs. and have 8 children. I wasn't willing to just give it up over 3 days of stupidity. We have alwas loved each other but forgot how to show it and that is why he strayed. The biggest thing we changed was our living situation he was 800 miles away. He bought me the house of my dreams and moved me and the kids to be with him. His entire focuse has been on me and the kids and only us.

Merry - posted on 09/19/2011

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Constance I cant believe an affair was the best thing for your marriage but it sure seems to be! I hope you two lovebirds keep on falling in love for many years to come!

Constance - posted on 09/19/2011

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Before the last two monthes I don't know the last time my husband and I did anything that wasn't kid related.

The last 2 monthes has been wonderful and horriable in the same breath. He had a brief 3 day affair. It devistated me and him ironically. He has done everything in his power to prove he is dedicated to me and only me. We lost each other for many years ad as weird as it seems his affair saved our marriage. It put everything into perspective. When I asked him why h did it hesaid he didn't feel like I loved him anymore. I have read and researched why people have affairs even when they love their spouse and they allseem to have the same thing incommon They ddn't feel like their spouse lved them anymore. When I reacted the way I did any doubts he had that I didn't love him went out the window. So we changed everything.

Now he looks at me the way he use too. The bedroom is crazy insane. He made the decision he wanted to please me not just himself. He started talking, and reading. He holds me and kisses me just because. Tells me he loves me all the time. We text allday while he is at work. Now we have date night every week just a couple of hours away from the kids. We talk something we haven't done in years and I mean talk about othe things other than kids and finances.

I am so happy now that I hope I never have to feel this pain again. In my heart I kno I won't.

[deleted account]

St.Patties day but of course I was preggers so the little miss came with. Last time with no kiddos around at all was a year ago this month or next we went out to dinner and saw a movie and it was awe-some.

Did anything not kid related....well he plays video games in his free time and I fart around on facebook...hard to do things not kid related when you're kind of a kid yourself lol. Jk though okay non kid related, st patties day really, we dont get to go out much and even our evenings get sucked up by a resistant aiden who doesnt want to go to bed, then a colicky beth and by the time we get her to sleep aiden's woken up for his midnight routine, and by the time hes asleep too all we want to do is sleep.

We have tried probably 5 times to get out but something always happens to prevent this, hell people keep trying to help us get out. But of course offers to babysit fall through, kids get sick, movies leave theatres too quickly, unnexpected costs come up, shit happens.

Stifler's - posted on 09/03/2011

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and i agree tah i think the loss of independence is what makes me feel agitated with my life. i never really HAD any i worked and paid my parents board and then moved out into a 4 bedroom house with my boyfriend who didn't expect me to pay for anything so all the money I made from work was always pocket money and he paid the bills. Now that I don't work it bothers me that I never had to pay my own way as lucky as I am.

Tah - posted on 09/03/2011

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i talk about ya'll..lol...school, work, his and mine when i go, movies, music, yes celebs, news, sex, we joke, family, goals in life and how to get there or basically the future...things that need to be fixed..lol...

i had nephews by 7 and ws changing diapers and making bottles, was babysitting shortly after, i was pregnant the first time i had sex so was a mom by 16 and i still knew there was a me apart from being a mom, its just interesting to see how different people are.

Merry - posted on 09/03/2011

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I never had 'me'
As a teen I was dreaming of having kids and by 19 I was married and ttc.
There wasn't really a 'me' before babies, even as a small child we had foster babies and as a 6 year old I adored caring for them.

What do you guys talk about that isn't related to kids?
I guess we do discuss stuff like history, religion, politics, celeb gossip, pets, and of course work. But it's not specifically because it's not kid related. Just if something interesting comes up.
But usually the most interesting stuff we discuss is kid related stuff.

Tah - posted on 09/03/2011

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i think i would lose my mind if i only had kid stuff to talk about..i have to have an escape..i started a thread in JD about sahms having 57% higher rate of depression than working moms.....one reason, you lose you...

Merry - posted on 09/03/2011

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See I can't keep up any childless friends! Lol I have nothing to talk about except kids and kid related stuff! I end up probably sounding annoying! My sister is my only childless friend and yet almost all the stuff I talk to her about is kids but she doesn't mind :) she talks to me about her life too but I usually just listen to be nice cuz it's boring stuff, frisbee, work, research, grad school, or interesting stuff if she talks about guys :) lol she needs a bf :)

Amy - posted on 09/03/2011

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oh you would ask that question. lol. When did Avatar come to theaters? Yeah...then. At least out of the house dates. We have "dates" after kids go to bed. Movie, talk, sex....but, it gets interrupted by the baby.

do something not kid related? Well, all kids were inside with grandma while we picked green beans. does that count? that was this year. Watching a movie after they go to bed is not kid related, I guess.

We talk about stuff not kid related ALL the time. Kids over hear conversations because it's over dinner or they're running through the room.

But, We've pretty much been in baby mode for 4 years. as soon is one is out of baby mode and moving, i was pregnant and on to the next baby. Babies take a lot of time. As soon as Charlotte is old enough to not have to nurse, we decided we need a monthly if not two times a month - date night. One day.....

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 09/03/2011

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will be leaving on the 14th in the am and coming back on the 19th in the eve

Merry - posted on 09/03/2011

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Last date was like a month ago but Fierna was with us :)

We saw a movie so it wasn't kid related!

And unfortunately we talk alot about money so non kid related conversations happen alot. Although the only reason we worry about money is because of the kids so....

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 09/03/2011

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Last weekend when we stayed at the hotel, I did mention Mikah once or twice. Once that I missed him and the second time that I will have my hands full keeping him contained in our Hotel apartment in Hawaii but that I was glad that I had Zjimon to help out.
(here at home he has lots of room to run around)

He works SOOOOO much and long hours that we get out when we can and he makes the effort to take me to the movies (one of my fave things to do) sometimes he falls asleep because he is so tired…LMBO but at least he made the effort.

Billie - posted on 09/03/2011

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of course we talk about us and focus on our relationship. It's really hard when he's home to be able to have alone time being in the army, it's hard to find friends to babysit when they're constantly moving away, lol. But I've been able to make more friends during this deployment so we'll be able to have REAL date nights when he comes home, YAY!

Tah - posted on 09/03/2011

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of course its good to share that info, but i think it's good to also focus on the relationship..the after hours cuddle is nice, but i mean where you get to just pull out the heels or adorable flats and no danger of one little lovebug squeeing in the middle of movie night because they need "water"..lol..

Billie - posted on 09/03/2011

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My husband and I have only had 1 date night in the past 2 1/2 yrs. That's due to him being deployed so much and not having anyone we trust to watch our girls. We refuse to leave our girls with anyone that we're not personally close to. But then again, when the husband is home, we'll have movie & cuddle time alone after the girls are in bed, does that count as a date?? I miss our movie nights :(



We talk about our kids almost everyday, but then again he's deployed so he wants to know what's going on with them, what's new, what new skills do they have, he misses them, the things we're gonna do with them when he gets home.

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