When kids move back home

Taunya - posted on 09/16/2010

I say downsize. LOL. I fall under the big heart field too, but i'm getting really tired and want my own time.. it's time mom, just say NO your an adult.. LOL

Jackie - posted on 06/05/2010

I have three "kids," and I love them all, but I'm ready to be an empty nester. They all moved out at one point and we thought we were "home free." (Pun intended.) The oldest is 34 and was a home loan consultant. You can guess what happened to his career when the housing market collapsed. He has been living at home ever since. He works in a book store, but doesn't make enough to pay more than the very reasonable rent he pays us. The second oldest is 33. He was in private equity for a while, went back to school to get his MBA, then was sent to Iraq with the Army Reserves for a second time. He has been living in the "guest room" for three months, but moved out today. The third is 28. She quit an amazing job two years ago to go to Paris to get a Masters Degree. She'll be back in three weeks to occupy the aforementioned "guest room" until she finds a job. We're hoping they'll all have their own abodes in two years, when we plan to downsize to a condo, but what if they don't....? I think you should take the opportunity to downsize now before they come trickling back!

Robie - posted on 05/10/2009

My husband and I seperated when our boys were 19 and 20 yrs old. I moved to an apartment with my 19 yr old. My 20 yr old moved in with my ex. Then low and behold they were both down on their luck and moved in with me1 Then I moved to a tiny one bedroom apartment that wouldn't hold anyone else!! My sons got apartments with their friends and were happy! Now I live in FL while they are still in CT. The further I moved from them, the more independent they got. Even my ex is doing better!! Now they are 28 and almost 27. One is engaged and the other just made me a Grandma! I miss them terribly, but I know if I moved back to CT, I would start feeling like I have to take care of them all again. It's totally all on me! I can't help but "mother" them when I'm around!

Too bad the housing market is the way it is... I suggest you MOVE!!!

Good luck to you!

Mary - posted on 04/08/2009

Quoting Dianne:

I'm sorry to say I agree with your husband.  Kids take advantage of their parents more than we ever considered doing.  As long as there's room, they'll be back.  My son moved out and in twice, my daughters the same.  I love my kids but it's time to get on your own.  Today's parents are afraid of their children, afraid to say NO for fear of being called a bad parent etc.  I understand that you'd worry about your grandchildren( like I would) but they're counting on that.  That's the vice they need.  I say downsize or transfer rooms into gyms, office etc.

Looks like we will be fixing up the old place and and as soon as the economy gets better selling to downsize.  Hey at least I can look forward to a new house.  just large enough that the grandbabies can come visit but not stay.  The rooms for now will be turned into storage, exercise or whatever...but no more kids moving back in.  Now i have to be tough and reinforce it.  which isn't easy for me but I will have to. 

Dianne - posted on 04/07/2009

I'm sorry to say I agree with your husband.  Kids take advantage of their parents more than we ever considered doing.  As long as there's room, they'll be back.  My son moved out and in twice, my daughters the same.  I love my kids but it's time to get on your own.  Today's parents are afraid of their children, afraid to say NO for fear of being called a bad parent etc.  I understand that you'd worry about your grandchildren( like I would) but they're counting on that.  That's the vice they need.  I say downsize or transfer rooms into gyms, office etc.

Dianne - posted on 04/07/2009

I'm sorry to say I agree with your husband.  Kids take advantage of their parents more than we ever considered doing.  As long as there's room, they'll be back.  My son moved out and in twice, my daughters the same.  I love my kids but it's time to get on your own.  Today's parents are afraid of their children, afraid to say NO for fear of being called a bad parent etc.  I understand that you'd worry about your grandchildren( like I would) but they're counting on that.  That's the vice they need.  I say downsize or transfer rooms into gyms, office etc.