hi how can i stop my self from getting mad with my children ive tryed parent class but dont work as my children are all boys and very boysrs and very demanding and think they contrall me and it get me down and i start crying im a young mum they swear and every think please help

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Cazz - posted on 09/17/2009

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i have three boys 8.6and 2 months and they seemed to have a lot of pent up energy as they were getting out of hand so i decided to take them where they can play contact sport activities and therefore come back to tired to fight etc, if you let them learn something with strict rules you can use that influence to help reign in the swearing etc but i also told my 7 year old not to speak rudely to me like that as i was his mother and not one of his friends from school and that you only have one mother and if you dont respect her the policemen will come and see them also my friend took her daughter to the police station so they could talk about her behaviour as she was being constantly naughty and that helped as they explained what happens to naughty girls so i have always told mine that the policemens job is to watch naughty adults/ children. are they naughty at school? if not perhaps you could adopt rules from the classroom, and sneak your own in with them, hope this helps cazz

Pamela - posted on 06/27/2009

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I am new to this group and I love all of the advice I just read. It wasn't for me personally, but what great stuff! I have 3 boys 11, 8 and 2.5. I have learned to give myself time outs and let them know that's what I am doing and it creates a change on their part. I have also learned, as others, to drop everything and "play" a bit with the kids. I know for me that I need structure and it does help my kids to know what to expect and what we expect from them. We stress "teamwork" in our house and how we work together as a family and I think the kids feel good about contributing and it makes them feel good about themselves. Finally, I agree that we mom's need to have time for ourselves and with friends. I like the "swap house" idea.

Emi - posted on 06/22/2009

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 Quoting Heather:

I am the mother of three boys - I have a 13, 10 and 2. My oldest pushes the envelope and over the years have found that there was more to the outbursts.
I have learned to choose my arguements. I have also learned how to take back my home. You need to speak to the magistrate in your area and see if they have a Parental assist that you can sign for your boys. What happens is when they get you to the point of yelling bc of their behaviors then you call police and tell them you have parental assist and they come and determine where they take them. Hospital or juvinile detention and they will not record it as a police record but after 16 then it will go on their record. I would suggest that you stop yelling bc they yell bc you do. I would also suggest a family counselor a good one.


I agree with you stop yelling and they will stop too. I have 3 boys 4 and 2 and 7 months. My 4 years old went from terrible 2 to horrible 3 and now he is 4 he changed a lot and from hurting and pushing his brother  went to loving and helping him and even reading to him. Well, it wasnt easy....I have short fusse and did lot of  mistakes specially raising my voice and even giving a slap to the oldest one, sometimes to make other ppl happy. Sad...Then sure enough I realise that he yells bc I yell, He hurts his brother bc I slap him( even is very light one). So, I deciede ok No more screaming or speanking( Physical). I stoped but not my son...OH I coud see my self and hated. Then, I had to be sure he undersants that no more yelling in the house, when he raises up his voice I just lean over him and softly say : I am raising up my voice??? Please stop and lets talk. It works till now, even there are lot of new things to iron. IF they are boys let them be boys just controll their temper with calm spirit. If they see you mad they will be mad... If you dont swear then they should not swear. My child tells me he doesnt love me when he is upset, so I tell him that is fine just obey and you will be happy. It helps to if you chose the TV programs and they dont watch whatever they want. Believe me even the best programs wil teach them something that is not nice. hope it helps, boys are boys learn to live with them

Nadia - posted on 04/21/2009

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hi yep i have three boys, i have tried most things, but to me getting my blood levels down is getting busy, like cleaning and sometimes dropping everything and get out to the back yard with a ball and just play kicks with my boys, i think that sometimes kids up and gives us parents a hard time for the fact they are trying to tell us something but don't know how cos they don't wan't to get in trouble, been shouted at, been let down because you have to make lunch or so..i smoke when i used to get frustrated but now i just kick the ball around and sometimes kick my kids by accident and tell them " i thought the ball was there" hahahaha!! just kidding, but it works for me and it works for my boys. it don't have to be kicking the ball at the back yard i also just take the boys out for a walk to the local park and they love it. hope this helps.

Tammy - posted on 04/16/2009

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Go check out the community for mothers who have lost their children, that might help you to develop some patience with your children.

Alicia - posted on 04/15/2009

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Hi Lana,
I have three boys. I had the first when I was 18, the second at 19 & the third 4 years later & he was a preemie. I can totally relate to loosing it & feeling like things were out of control. What saved my sanity was a group of mom's that met once a week for Bible study through our local community church. It gave me an awesome place to ask questions & get support. The ladies there were almost always available if I needed to just talk to someone. It also gave me a couple of hours to just be with other moms, which I always looked forward to. It's so good to know that every mom has their moments!
Recently I have watched a few episodes of Super Nanny - which you can watch on the internet as well. She shares some really concrete methods that really make sense to me to help regain control of your home. She has dealt with kids who use profanity & all kinds of situations. - just thought it might give you some ammo.
Please know that you are not alone. Hope this helps!

Heather - posted on 03/31/2009

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I am the mother of three boys - I have a 13, 10 and 2. My oldest pushes the envelope and over the years have found that there was more to the outbursts.

I have learned to choose my arguements. I have also learned how to take back my home. You need to speak to the magistrate in your area and see if they have a Parental assist that you can sign for your boys. What happens is when they get you to the point of yelling bc of their behaviors then you call police and tell them you have parental assist and they come and determine where they take them. Hospital or juvinile detention and they will not record it as a police record but after 16 then it will go on their record. I would suggest that you stop yelling bc they yell bc you do. I would also suggest a family counselor a good one.

Kathy - posted on 03/20/2009

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think about the behaviours you are having problems with, like talking to you disrespectfully, not saying please, swearing, whatever, and a punishment or consequence that goes with it. then if you stick with it, as the day goes on you won't get more and more frustrated then blow up at them. i experienced the same with my first son who i had when i was young and on my own.



do they also need to use their energy, like getting outside and running around or catching up with friends in a park? and definately some you time to recharge your batteries. good luck.

Amy - posted on 02/14/2009

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First, realize that everybody feels this way. One thing I do that has helped me the most is finding that one thing I like to do- which for me was working out. My gym has free daycare so for that time- its me time and I don't have to think about anyone else but me. Find at least one hour a day where you spend it on yourself doing whatever it is.



2nd- Routine and Structure. I have very active boys. If they know what to expect- like "movie night" or "the family plays a game" night, its seems to make a huge difference.



3rd- Consistency. The posts above were very accurate in that you have to nip it in the bud and there needs to be a consequence everytime.



Good luck and let us know if any of our advice works!

Julie - posted on 02/07/2009

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There's a book that helped me, it's called "She's Gonna Blow".  It's a christian based book on how moms learn to deal with their anger.  You are NOT the only one dealing with this issue! 



Boys who don't respect their Mothers-like swearing at them-will grow up to not respect any women.  So it's crucial to not accept their behavior now.  YOU are the boss, not your boys.  Take away their priviledges like video games or whatever they are in to.  Whatever it takes to get their attention.  The most important thing is to always be consistent.  EVERY time you cuss at mommy, you get your video game taken away for the rest of the day.  Or whatever punishment works for your family.  I can't tell you how important being consistent is!  You have to punish every time. 



The 2 things that worked best for my 2 boys-aged 5 and 8-was cleaning the walls and push-ups and/or running laps around our house.  My 8 yr old is one of the buffest 3rd graders around because instead of spanking, he gets push ups.  My husband will even drop the boys in a store if they get too wild and don't listen.  I hate the thought of their hands on store floors while being mortified in front of everyone for misbehaving.  He does make them go to the restroom to wash afterwards, but I don't have the heart to do it in public.  I wait til we get home.  Washing walls is really great because you get a clean house, too!  Put those boys on some chores while you relax a bit and get it together. 



Hope this helps a little!  Good luck!

Melissa - posted on 02/05/2009

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I know how you feel, my boys are 5 and 2. Sometimes you need to remove yourself and just step into another room and take a couple deep breaths. Do you have any hobbies or activities that you do outside of the home? I just recently started a girls night w/ some of my mom friends. I'm a stay at home mom, so I need some time to myself so that I don't blow my lid. Having some other moms to "vent" to can help to relieve some of the stress. I think that helps me not to feel so overwhelmed and control my anger a little better. 



We don't even have to go out, sometimes we just hang out and play games or talk. The husbands have the kids at one house and the moms go to the other house. 



Don't forget to take that time for yourself!! Just remember that you are not alone, and that there are other moms that are in the same situation. Good luck!!

Mindy - posted on 02/04/2009

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Getting mad at your children is a normal thing to do. The important thing is to learn how to act instead of react. When you're angry it is very hard not to react to your boys. Sometimes if you find yourself getting out of control you need to give yourself a time out, even if it is just for a minute, that way you can come back and rationally deal with the problem because the intense feeling to react immediatly calms a bit.

Brittnee - posted on 02/01/2009

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I hope it helps to know that you aren't the only one. There are support groups that you could visit. Just ask your pediatrician or your own doc. I'm sure they can help more than anything.

Lana - posted on 02/01/2009

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thank u for replying i smoke as well but sill get stressed  i had my frst at 16 and now im 24 and still find it hard my boys are 7,5.2  thank you  for trying to help

Brittnee - posted on 01/31/2009

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i am also a young mother (i'm 21 and i was 19 when my oldest was born) to 2 boys under the age of 2. it is very stressful but the only advice that i can give you is to take time for yourself. i smoke (unfortunately) but those 5 minutes every few hours really help. it also helps if you have someone to watch them for a few minutes even if it's to take a shower can be heaven.



i hope this helps!

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