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Having a hard time after a second trimester miscarriage

Diana - posted on 03/13/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

I lost my baby Jan. 17th at 18 1/2 weeks gestation. I was handling ok but this past week has been a nightmare, I don't know if it's postpartum or grief or both but I find it hard to go the day without spontaneously bursting into tears. I feel so sad and I just miss her and the pregnancy so much. Right after it happened I never wanted to be pregnant again but now I just want her back. I want to be pregnant again with HER. I know it's crazy, I am just so sad. I don't know what happened I thought I was handling her death and now everything reminds of what could have been. My daughter is taking it hard too.(she's 7) She keeps saying I wish our baby wasn't dead and although I was able to handle that in the beginning I just break into tears now. I just don't know what's normal, it's been almost 2 months and I think I'm worse now that in the beginning. I just feel totally alone and I have no one to talk to about it. It feels like everyone is so afraid I'm going to be upset that they minimize what happened in order to end any conversation about it. I know people feel awkward about emotions and grief but I feel like I'm drowning on dry land, if that makes any sense.

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Katie - posted on 09/21/2009

I wish there was something I cauld say to make you feel better,but theres not. All I can tell you is its normal and you will feel better with time. I lost my daughter 3 years ago at 22 weeks. She lived for about 10 minutes and died in my arms. I am doing a lot better now, but I still have moments when I just start to cry, but as time goes on they come less. You will be in my prayers! God bless

Kiki - posted on 03/28/2009

Quoting Michelle:

I lost my son at 17 weeks and it was terrible!! It didnt hit me right away either. You will be OK. Each day it will get easier for you. I wish I could just give you a BIG hug!! i know how bad you must be hurting......

I lost my son at 19weeks gst 5 yrs ago on April 24th it dosent get easier your always going to feel the pain and emptiness I have a beautiful 17mth old daughter now and she will know when she gets older she has an older brother when the time is right.She will know what happened.Its harder the first bit yes and alot of peope dont feel the pain for sometime after as there in too much of a shock.. every year around now I get depressed and feel down wishin my son was here and it lasts a few mths before I pull myself outa it and tell myself its not my fault and there is a reason hes not with us today.Im sorry for everyones losses and Im here if you need to talk.Call me weid but I named my son Jaydlyn and some day we will reunite..just keep your head up high and dont blame yourself..lots of hugs Nikki .. RIP lil angels your mommy and daddys miss you sweethearts.. spread your wings and fly

Michelle - posted on 03/26/2009

I lost my son at 17 weeks and it was terrible!! It didnt hit me right away either. You will be OK. Each day it will get easier for you. I wish I could just give you a BIG hug!! i know how bad you must be hurting......

Tamara - posted on 03/22/2009

I know exactly how you feel. Today is 11 weeks since I lost my little boy(23wks and 3 days) and I thought I was doing better but as his due date approaches(may 1, 2009 but I deliver early so I was kinda expecting him around Easter) I find myself talking to his little urn alot and crying alot more...again. I also just want to be pregnant but I want it to be him. I cry when I am at the store and I see pregnant mommies. I feel like they are just crawling out of the woodwork, just reminding me of what I won't have. My daughter who is 3 1/2 makes comments about her brother and it makes me so sad because she just doesn't understand. My older daughter has a teacher who is having a boy and due a week before me and she comes home so sad and tells me she can barely stand to look at her. My family doesn't talk about it and my husband tells me he wasn't meant to be here yet, like he's magically going to come back to me. I know he's just trying to help but it really makes me sad. I know you joined this group to talk and get advise and my experience with it so far is that no one really pays any attention. You were one of two that ever responded to me so I really wanted to return the favor and let you know that I know what you are going through and someone out there does care and will listen and can understand EXACTLY what you are going through. I know I am a complete stranger but maybe I can be some sort of comfort to you. I know when you responded to me I finally felt like someone cared and new EXACTLY what I was going through because family really doesn't know. Sorry to just ramble on and on but it is therapy for me as well. Please know that I care and will have you in my thoughts and prayers. Maybe I can be someone that you can talk to and/or relate to and be therapy for you as well.

Take care, be strong,

Tami