Tricia - posted on 11/23/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )
hi there, my name is tricia and im 28 years old and i have 2 angel babies.
my first son Finley James was stillborn at 23wks weighing 1lb 5ozs, he was starved of oxygen during labour as massive blood clot was growing behind my placenta, the hospital never picked it up and because the clot grew too big my placenta came away and the clot burst, i miss him everyday and i always wonder who he would look like and what sort of peronality he would have.
my second son Miles Finley was stillborn at 27wks weighing 2lbs 7ozs, he was also starved of oxygen because my uterus ripped in half during labour ripping the placenta in half too, iwas classed as a high risk patient but the hospital didnt care and the consultant went home knowing i was there with i stitch in situ, they didnt read my notes coz they would have known about my history ( too much to write down ladies ), now because of them i cant have anymore children, i always though that losing one child was hard but to lose 2 was devastating.
i dont know how to cope anymore. i cant bear being near pregnant women or babies because all i can think about is that should be me and thats not fair. i have had friends physically attack me on here because i shouldnt still be greiving for my children and im bloody miserable and i should sort my life out, please HELP im really lonely xx