How I lost my sweet angel

Anna - posted on 01/27/2011 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My premature baby and how I was so let down by the medical team.
My beautiful daughter ,Maria Christine Oliveira, was born on 19-12-10 at 12.21 pm at just 22 weeks and 4 days. She was so perfect. When she arrived she was breathing, her heart was beating with strength and she was moving her little arms and legs yet doctors REFUSED to save her. She lived for about an hour and a half.If she was 3 days older (23 weeks) then they would have attempted. They claimed babies under 23 weeks are not considered viable so they will not try to save them.If they have never tried how on earth do they know they can't survive? Their actual words were they will not RESUSITATE babies under 23 weeks ... but they would not have had to resusitate her as she arrived fully alive. It really hurts when I read so many success stories about babies between 22 and 23 weeks who have survived.. I know most babies don't but those that did live were given a chance that my baby was not. She deserved a chance at life. The doctors said they were followed procedure guidelines but these guide lines are not laws !! They are suggested guidelines. The guidelines also say that babies should not be resusitated unless parents request and reiterate that request. So why were my requests and pleas denied ? I spoke to several doctors ... when speaking to one in particular (begging for intervention to be undertaken when Maria should come) I cried 'PLEASE?!' and he just stood with his arms folded and sternly said 'NO'. As the mother of Maria I had the right to decide what was best for her. Even though I am aware that some people see it cruel to try and keep a baby alive but my baby deserved the same change that a 23 week old baby would have been given.

Secondly, I went into labour 5 days before I actually gave birth.I had my mucus plug come out with my bloody show, I was having contractions which were 3 minutes apart and was leaking amniotic fluid.I went to the hospital for an emergency doctor appointment.The doctor was very belittling probably because I am young and a first time mum and she spoke to me as though I was over reacting and made me feel so stupid.At the time of the appointment I had no more bloody discharge or amniotic fluid coming out so she said 'oh well you have nothing coming out now do you!' she said nothing was wrong and told me to go home.She said I was not in labour and I took her word for it , as most first time mums would.I continued to suffer with pains and 3 days later my waters broke.2 days later I gave birth.If the doctor had recognised that I was in labour then I could have undergone preventative labour treatment which could have prolonged my labour long enough for Maria to reach 23 weeks or older.Also whilst in hospital waiting to give birth I was never offered any steroids to help mature my babies lungs to give her a better chance of survival , this is relevant as nobody knew how long after my waters breaking I would actually give birth, it couldve been 3 days later than it was in which case the doctors may have agreed to save her and the steroids couldve been the difference between life and death.

I spent about an hour with my baby before suferring a massive bleed and having to be rushed away from her to go to theatre. I wasn't with her when she died which breaks my heart but she died in her daddy's arms.

I hope people read this and learn from it. Something needs to be done .. babies ARE viable before 23 weeks and should not be left to die if the parents request against it !!

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3 Comments

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Nuttie - posted on 10/26/2012

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iam sorry and you are so rite

Susie - posted on 04/30/2011

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So Sorry for what you and your baby girl went through. I think if there is any life they should right away try to do what ever they can to help. The laws are so wronge!

I had my baby boy at 18 wks. due to a cord accident 4x around his neck. When I delivered my tiny percious baby he was already gone. So I knew that I wasn't going to get a birth certificate. But when they told me I wasn't going to get a death certificate because my baby was under 20wks. It made me so mad. I felt like by not getting a death certificate they (The Law) was telling me that my baby didn't count, that there would be no record of his existence. I know, my family knows and God knows that he counts. But I don't understand it my baby had ten fingers, ten toes. I carried him 4 1/2 months thats half way through the pregnancy. I felt him move and by law they consider my baby boy as a mass of tissue. The laws need to change.

I can't believe that you had to watch your beautiful baby leave this earth without a chance to see if she could have made it. I'm so sorry! the feelings that you must have been going through. To fight for your baby. No mother should ever have to plead for someone to help her baby live. and then be told that they won't help. It's not fare. I'm here if you need to talk, bless you Anna and your precious baby Maria.

Anna - posted on 01/27/2011

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I have read this back after a few weeks of grieving and I know it looks like im looking for someone to blame. I probably am to be honest , I do partially blame the medical team and partially myself. I am still struggling with acceptance of my daughters passing. I'd love to hear some other people's stories xx