Hurt from lossing my son (Stillbirth)

Jakita - posted on 04/06/2011 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I found out that i lost my son Ja'maurion on March 31,2011 I went to the doctor for my 40 week check up and they told me that they dont see a heart beat i cried till couldnt cry know more. i gave birth to him on April 2,2011 and when i seen him i broke down all type of stuff is running through my mind i keep think its my fault i feel like i could not protect him i feel like i should of known something was wrong but i didnt it was my frist child im only 19 and i feel empty. I no that its going to get better and everything that happen GOD got a plan for me, but it hurt im trying to stay strong and take it a one day at a time.

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Jakita - posted on 04/08/2011

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hi katrina thank you for your post im doing every thing i can to keep me occupied..

Katrina - posted on 04/08/2011

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Hi there, first id like to say i'm sorry for your loss, no one should ever have to outlive a child.

I personally blamed myself for a while even though i knew there was nothing i could have done differently, i think it is a way of working through how you are feeling.
Taking it one day at a time is all any of us are able to do especially at such an early stage in your grief.

I spent my first few weeks after the death of my daughter focusing on the reason it happened and finding as much information on the cause as i possibly could so that when i felt well enough to talk about it i could tell people why and how it happened. I always try and tell myself that even if i can help one other person realize a symptom of the cause i may be able to help save the life of one baby, even if i know it cant be my own.

It has now been 7 months since the death of my child and i think about her every day and even though it doesnt get any better i find new ways to cope by doing small things to keep me occupied.

I hope that you can find some of the answers you seek, and that it is alright to have every feeling you are having.

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