Autism how do you deal with it at times it can be very exhausting but you love them still

Heather - posted on 04/16/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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my daughter is autistic and it can just drain me out at times how do you deal with that......this is going out to moms that have autistic children specially

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Stacey - posted on 12/23/2010

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my son is four yrs old and he is in a special needs preschool. however lately his agressive behaviior has gotton so bad I have to be two steps ahead of him so he doesn't hurt other children. He is non verbal and so when children want to play with him and I explain they say why does he push us then laugh? I tryo to reinforce the no push Matthew etc but it is so hard to a child who is trying to test. We are considering putting him on some sort of meds? If he is a runner, very active I mean really has to keep moving and is agressive, is Prozac the way to go? My peditrician is great and will put him on a med if we want. She believes that med will allow him to calm down a bit and focus...I really enjoy this site the advice, support and knowing your not alone is amazing. I am tired my hubby works out of town for two weeks a month including weekends no family here in NC so I cry a bit at nite but try to remember I wasn't able to have children so the doc say but Matthew is my miracle and know the good times we have out weigh the agry he gives out.

Tammi - posted on 08/27/2010

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I have times when I think things like why me and how am I going to deal with this but then when I realize I am thinking those things and feeling really frustrated I try to put myself in my childs shoes.yeah it is hard on me but at least I understand whats going on and why where as my son has no idea why he feels the anger and frustration he does.So with that being said the other thing I do when he seems to just want to throw his fit I let him,.I make sure he is in a safe environment and does not hurt himself and let him get the anger out through a fit.Believe it or not it actually seems to help but I don't let him go on for to long maybe a few minutes at the most.Also taking a break does help,our son goes to daycare 3 times a week for 5 hours a day so that he can get the social interaction which seems to help him a lot and gives me the much needed time even if I am at work.Good luck and I hope this helps you some.

Jennifer - posted on 07/07/2010

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I take it one day at a time or sometimes an hour at a time. I have three autistics. Two are more of a mild to medium but my first child is a severe case. He is a runner. He is argumentative nonverbally at that. He has impulse issues. He is physically violent. It is not a job that just anyone can do! I have learned you go with the flow. You try to meld everyone's little schedules, passions and interests into a daily routine. You make sure at the end of the day to take time for yourself. I will read a book, sit by myself, talk to a friend...TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF! And when everything goes wrong...stop taking it so seriously constantly. I moved my household to a new town. Six months in...I have the local police talking to me about Ethan's running, neighbors volunteering to keep a look out, friends and family helping to set up alarms, chains and even a GPS was dontated. Do not ever turn away help or become a recluse due to your children. They are more appreciated, understood and cared for when allowed into the community. My community is here for them and me. Always remember this is no ones fault. That things will go wrong. Life is unpredictable. Most autistic parents are doing everything right and things still happen. I take the little things that I find special about my children and share them with everyone. My friends and family have enjoyed many a story about my childrens' interesting take on how to go about life. Enjoy them for the special gift they are because you need those memories to hold to when things aren't as great.

Tricia - posted on 07/01/2010

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It is rough some days - the morning I had today I am still trying to get calmed down. I take many deep breathes and I am also on a low dose of Lexapro (which helps). I try to be calm and try to realize that these are just stages and not every day is like the other. Since my daughter is 3 she is still going through the typical 3 year old craziness and I also have to keep in mind that she is most likely just as frustrated as I am. Good luck - we all need it.

Ilene - posted on 06/09/2010

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I'm sorry for not responding to this earlier. I joined this group not long ago and never really went through the list of "conversations" -- just came across this one tonight....

Some days, I don't know how I'm going to get through the day. Other days are like a wonderful dream. Just getting through one day at a time is the best advice I can give.

Is there anyone nearby who you can call for help (family members, friends, respite services, etc.)? Getting a break may be what you need. Don't be afraid to ask for help, even if it means needing to repay the favor at some point. But some days, you just really need a break.

I have 3 children, including 3 year old twins (girl/boy) both on the spectrum. What has actually made it easier for me is, once they turned 3, they began full-day preschools through our county school's special education programs (based on their IEP). That gave me much of the break I needed. Once a week, I get together with a friend, who also has a daughter with autism and, even though we rarely talk about autism, just getting together means so much to me, and I think to her as well. That's only about 2 hours/week, but it means EVERYTHING!!!!!

Good luck to you!!!! And don't forget to take care of yourself too, or you won't do your daughter much good as more time passes.

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