Desperately need advice about potty training my special needs son

Jemie - posted on 01/31/2013

Hello Stacey,

We had (past tense) with our 6yr old daughter with HFA. As old as 4yrs old, she still wears diapers when she pee and poo. Fortunately, she is very verbal and has learned to let us know when she needs a bathroom break. Instead, back then, she'll run to her room and snag a diaper from her closet. She will even attempt to wear the diaper herself!

Eventually, my husband noticed that AS LONG AS SHE HAS DIAPERS, she will DEMAND FOR DIAPERS.

Solution?: We stopped buying diapers.

What happened?: When she needed to poo, she ran to her closet but cant find a diaper. She will then come to us and ask for one. We tell her "No more diaper from now on." She'll throw a little tantrum, but since she needs to GO, we show and guide her to the bathroom with her potty seat on the toilet bowl.

Challenges: First attempts were hilarious and frustrating. When she's already sitting on the loo, she'll HOLD OFF her poo because she's afraid (to sink INTO the toilet bowl). Then she'll wiggle and escape from the bathroom and poo on the garden.

Aftermath: Since she already UNDERSTANDS that she'll never have diaper again, slowly but surely, with a lot of SHOWING and training her how to use the bowl, she finally used the toilet bowl to pee and poo before she turned 5.

Remember that HFAs and ASDs always stick to a routine. I *think* your son will always want to wear his pull-ups because he's very comfortable with those.

Good luck!

MARCY - posted on 10/08/2012

Hi, did you already try taking his favorite things away if he dont listen? If so try that and let him know that if he does better next time he will get to play again that works.. hope it works for you.

Sherry - posted on 10/04/2012

My new motivation is my son, age 6, wants mine craft on his iPad and he will only get it if he stays clean and dry for seven days. Today was his first star day. Yippee we're on our way.

Debbie - posted on 10/03/2012

Also for all those non verbal tots out there, I have a sixteen month old son he is non verbal. We invested in an iPad and a program called proloquo2go. It cost me $1000.00. I got the iPad, the program, and a crush proof case plus warranty. It was the greatest investment ever. He is able to communicate with me and it can be individualized for each family. It teaches them to speak, and if like my child whom my never speak, it teaches him to put together full sentences, also teaching them yes please, and no thank you.it is great. Ask family, friends, workers, coworkers to donate just a little and in no time you will have the money needed for this wonderful program and iPod. There are alot of other great programs that are free for the I pad that can help too. My baby has no problems navigating through this program and I would recommend it to all. And believe me when I tell you the iPad can take a beating and keeps on ticking.

Debbie - posted on 10/03/2012

I have A six year old that had the same problems. We ended up having to make her clean up her mistakes and then talking to her and saying how did it feel to clean up your own mess, don't you realize that it is quicker to do what you need to on the toilet than to have to spend your time cleaning it up, and giving immediate rewards. With hold your child's favorite treat use them when he properly goes to the potty. Then tell he you know mommy doesn't like withholding these treats, but until you always to the right thing on the potty I will have control. When you get fully potty trained then you will be in charge of when you get them. Hope this helps some.

Tom - posted on 01/03/2012

If your special needs child is still in diapers, Bum Ease is a new, convenient spray-on diaper rash cream that really makes the process of applying a cream or paste much easier. It contains lots of pediatrician recommended zinc oxide and is a pump spray, which makes the application very quick and painless for the child. No clean up for the caregiver is required afterwords.

Pamela - posted on 10/19/2011

We just got there w my 5 yr old who has severe developmental delay. I tried everything and every morning when given the choice of underwear or diaper he still pointed to the diaper. We kept at it though and every time my husband went to the bathroom he explained it to my son. It took months and bribery with Reese's and baths, but he just caught on to it and now we only have 1 accident every other week or so. Be patient (sorry-it drove me crazy when people said that). We just found that one thing that made it worth it to him. Good luck!

Christina - posted on 10/12/2011

Every case is different, however in my case my son has Mosaic Downs with fine motor skill delays and it took and felt like forever before he was potty trained. He is 8 now and we still have days where we have tiny accidents and he doesn't make it to the bathroom before leakage and he wasn't potty trained fully until he was almost 6. I just gave up one day because it was as Stacey said, "stressing us both out". It almost seemed like when I gave up and did not make such a fuss about it, then he could relax and it just happened, not right away, but when his body was ready. Hope that helps in some way. There are so many other things you can be doing with your son to make you both happy right now, so just leave the pull up on and have some fun together. :-)

Stacey - posted on 10/10/2011

I need some help too! My son is 5 and nonverbal. He has NO interest in the potty. His little brother is 2 and I think we are going to start training him in the hopes that Ian will see his little brother go and want to do it himself.

Stacey - posted on 09/20/2011

That sounds really stressful! My son is non verbal so as far as any kind of transition to a toddler bed or even starting to lay the foundation of potty training is impossible. You must've done alot right. I wish I could help but the only clinical advice I've received thus far is not to try because it will just stress both of us needlessly. With my older son, he doesn't have autism my younger son does, we let him go potty with his dad. I know it sounds awkward at best but it worked and really well. It took a good 3 weeks before he stopped having accidents but he felt loads better about going after that.