asked if my baby was adopted

Shannalee - posted on 06/17/2010

I am a mixed woman half east indian/ half irish(looks like a latino) and I married a white man. our baby girl is 4 yrs old and has platinum blond hair, china white skin and blue eyes. That happens to myself and my mother(east indian) all the time. But because we have darker skin people don't assume she's adopted. They assume we are the nannies. everytime I do anything with her (doctor's appointments ect.) I have to bring my ID and her birth certificate. Also we were traveling ti the states from Canada with my a written letter from her father, my ID, her birth Certificate and were still refused entry, because they did not believe she was mine. I then decide to get her a passport thet way they would see that she was mine. Sometimes it bothers me, and sometimes I tell them I'm a mail order bride too look after his children...You should see the looks then ...lol :)

Kelly - posted on 06/14/2010

I have not had that happen, but I did have a bank teller ask me what my girls were mixed with. I never took offense. Everybody has commented on how beautiful they are so I have just come to expect it..

Rachael - posted on 06/14/2010

This happens alot to me too! my kids are pale as snow. lol I am mixed with white and black and their dad is white. They deffinitely look more like their daddy. :)

Brianne - posted on 06/11/2010

When I was pregnant with my son I would always think about what people would say. I was curious as to what he would look like and what color his skin would be. When I had him he was very light skinned like me (I am white). His dad isn't too dark (he is black) but I thought my son would have alittle more color! He is 1 and is still light skinned. I have never had any questions because he is light skinned. My fiance also hasn't had any comments made to him about my son because everything about my son comes from his dad ... except his skin color!

I am expecting my 2nd son in 2 weeks and keep thinking if he will be as light as his brother! I guess we will see here in a few weeks!

Christine - posted on 06/11/2010

Yeah comments were made towards my daughter not my son though, because even though she is mixed back and white she managed to get blue eyes we both have one parent with blue eyes, but we both have brown eyes

Patricia - posted on 06/08/2010

yeah, after I Delivered my son some nurse doing rounds asked me where the mum was!!! She thought my son was too white.

Nancy - posted on 06/08/2010

I'm half puertorican/dominican & mexican/ japanese. My mother's side( pr/dom) are mostly black & the culture & my upbringing never made color an issue. Now as a mother I've experienced more ignorance when it comes to my daughter than I ever did! I favor my dad's side in regards to my color. That's why I'm this community to hear other people's stories for advice, wisdom, and awareness.

Nancy - posted on 06/08/2010

At my 1st Mommy Club/playdate member brunch I was asked if I was the Nanny!?! I was offended, but only because of the treatment I got after I told them I was Emily's mother.

Julie - posted on 06/07/2010

I still get asked questions "Where did he come from?? I reply, "My Uterus" when asked "What is he mixed with?" I reply, "his Dad and I" That usually shuts people up.

Heather - posted on 06/07/2010

I had this happen once. I was changing my daughter in a restaurant bathroom and a woman asked which adoption agency I went through because she was trying to adopt a little "black" baby. When I told her she was mine she turned around and walked away without even offering an apology. Now my mom on the other hand is happy that my kids are mixed. If you see her she is very Italian with the darker complexion and dark hair and all of us kids are pale. People used to ask her who's kids we were. Now she can show pictures of my son and daughter and they look more like her. She tells people "it took a black man to do it but I finally got two that look like me." People usually smile and laugh.

Donna - posted on 06/06/2010

When I went to the park with my then 7 yr old mixed race son ,another child asked him mum why my son was brown and his mum was white. His mum replied perhaps he is adopted. My son overheard and for a long time worried that he was adopted.We had to prove to him he wsnt by showing him his baby photo and taliking to family. It was a long ime before he was totally convinced. He is 17 now and still remebers it

Tahisha - posted on 06/04/2010

Wow...these stories are too funny and some people are just so bold! People come in all different colors, even people within one race! I am Hispanic (Puerto Rican) and I am dark skinned...so that is proof enough. When I walk around with my daughter people always make a double take. I even heard a young girl one day say "I was going to ask her if that was her baby". How rude! Even if a child is not biologically someone's child, how rude do you have to be to ask!??? WTF! It annoys me more than others I suppose. My daughter looks like her father more than me, which doesnt annoy me at all, she is beautiful either way. What annoys me is the ignorance, lack of respect and consideration for other's feelings! And the plain out right rudeness!

Janise - posted on 05/23/2010

I'm african american and my husband is german (with blond hair and blue eyes). When he's with our daughter they don't think that she is his, and to me she actually looks like a mixed child, even though more of her features take after me. Sometimes when we would be in the grocery store, older hispanic ladies would walk up to her and start speaking spanish. I would have to tell them that she was my daughter, and that she wasn't hispanic. With my son is where I get the most questions. He has red hair, blue eyes, and his coloring is just a tad darker than his dad's. A co-worker of mine asked me he was my genetic son, when I brought him into work one day. All it did was amuse me. Even the nurses at the hospital after I had him told me that had they not seen my son come out of me, hey would never believe he was mine.

Aicha - posted on 05/22/2010

Yes that has happened to me my husbands coworker ask me if I was the babysitter I just looked at him and said no I'm her mother

Juliet - posted on 05/21/2010

Some times I guess what people are thinking. I say":I made him myself. But daddy was the secret ingredient.

Della - posted on 05/21/2010

It's funny I'm black and my husband is dutch blonde blue eyed. When the children are with him people see how they favor his traits and with me they see my traits.

Kim - posted on 05/19/2010

I was shopping for groceries and a lady came up and said how beautiful my son is. Then she said he has such a nice tan, but that I'm so pale...? (His dad is Hispanic and I'm white.) People are always pointing out his big "dark eyes" and "dark hair". I just smile, say thank-you, and kill them with kindness. Ignorance is everywhere and it probably will never disappear completely!

Kristy - posted on 05/19/2010

I'm glad you posted this!! My little one isn't born yet (due June 27th) and I am white and my husband is Indian .I was wondering how I would react if someone thought the baby wasn't mine or adopted and you all are so positive in your asnwers! I guess the best thing to do is laugh it off!

Margaret - posted on 05/16/2010

It makes me laugh that people ask these questions to strangers. I get stopped a lot(mostly cause my daughter has had a full head of dark hair since birth) and told my daughter is beautiful. I always get asked what race her father is but nothing about her being adopted. I come from a family with step and half siblings and adopted kids and alot of inter-racial marriages so its all normal to me. Some peoples questions tho do really throw me off.

Melissa - posted on 05/16/2010

These stories are funny!:)I have 3 bi-racial children and this has never happened to me but the youngest is very pale and a red head like me so people are usually suprised to see his dad! I use to always have my friends daughter who is very very dark skinned and alot of people thought she was mine.Those comments always made me laugh because she looks nothing at all like me.

Johanna - posted on 05/16/2010

I have two kids, and it happend with both, more so with my first, i guess by the time i had two they figured they must be mine...lol
Very similar story with my daughter, nice older lady, came up while I was online at a store, commented on how pretty she was, then asked, "where is she from"...? My womb is a good replay...=}

Angela - posted on 05/15/2010

Yea It happens all the time with me. People always assume he is my mother-in-law's. We went to doctor's office and they didn't know which one of us was mom.

Julie - posted on 05/15/2010

Yes, I have had several people ask me if our son was adopted. I am caucasian and my husband is Japanese-American. Our son is gorgeous of course and he is all ours. I did find the question somewhat offensive, but not as offensive as the two times I have been asked if I was my son's grandma!! Yes, I am an older mom, but please, I haven't gone grey yet! Older moms are more and more common these days, so I really felt awful about that question.

Tracy - posted on 05/15/2010

When my son was five, I was asked if he were adopted. Like you, it was more funny than offensive. :)

Andrea - posted on 05/14/2010

When my grylz were younger I had people ask me if they were mixed.
I would so flip -out cause we're black. Crazy!

Denise - posted on 05/14/2010

Its funny because when we lived in the states I never got asked that but now that I live in Puerto Rico everyone assumes that my kids are adopted, atleast my 2 older dd's but the little one they always beleive she is mine, they just don't beleive that she is my other girls sister.:)

DeDe - posted on 05/14/2010

It hasn't happened at me but sometimes people look at me and I know that they are wondering where this brown lady got this child from that looks hispanic. I had a lady speaking spanish to my child at a rest stop. It was so funny and I had to quickly put her in her place. But try not to let stuff like that bother you when it happens. :)

Tabatha - posted on 05/14/2010

I just did on Monther's Day Sunday at church. My 23 m/o daugter is usually always the star of the show wherever we go and the pastor had all of the mom's and daughters come to the front (small church) and a lady grabbed her up to hold her and love on her. When we were dismissed, she had noticed another either black or mixed little girl in the sanctuary and asked if I adopted both of them and my husband was even there with us. I said no I only have one and my husband is back there. I try not to get offended but people leave me in amazement. I have been known to think people are thinking she is so gorgeous she couldn't have come from you. ha

Desiree - posted on 05/13/2010

people think I'm the nanny! my husband is Canadian and I'm Filipino, our daughter has curly hair, long lashes, fairer than me and looks so much like my husband.. I find it funny though, not offensive.. (hopefully it stays that way!)

Pam - posted on 05/13/2010

Many people assume I am my children's nanny since they don't look much like me. But I'm a young mommy and my kids and I goof off a lot. It all just seems kinda logical. In fact, it's kinda funny especially when other moms offer to "steal" me away from my employer because of how good I am with my "charges". At the end of the day, it's a compliment for my children (their good behaviour) and me too (for enforcing proper behaviour). Who could be mad at that?

O'tia - posted on 05/12/2010

All the time.When I first had my daughter a woman in the hospitsal had given birth to a little boy.So the tag on him said baby boy jenkins and my daughter's tag read bay girl jenkins.When I called to the nursery for baby jenkins the woman kept bringing me the little boy and insisting that he was my son.I finally went to the nursery frantic knowing i haddnt lost my mind and demanded to have my baby.They read and looked over her tag twice assuming she was asian.After calling security and the lead nurse they listened and gave me my daughter

Kelsey - posted on 05/12/2010

I was actually asked one time if I was baby-sitting. My son (3) and daughter (11 months) have a carmel complexion and I am extremely pale. This is the first time someone has verbally assumed that my children are not my own. I just laughed it off after proudly informing that they were all mine! :)

Rachael - posted on 05/12/2010

No. My son has red hair so people assume he is mine even though his face doesn't look anything like mine. People say similar things to his dad though, asking him if he is his stepfather or if he is sure my son is his. He mostly just ignores it.

Tyneisha - posted on 05/11/2010

Yes all the time. My son is really light and im African american so i get funny looks or if im not walking beside my husband and son, people assume that im not with them.

Georgeia - posted on 05/11/2010

My mother always got comments like that when my brothers and I were young. She would get asked if she was our English nanny( she British, blonde, blue eyed and were dark hair, brown eyed and olive complexion) or if we were adopted! And alot of people would tell her how beautiful her kids were but how they looked nothing like her! Haven't got that one yet with my girls, but do get quite alot of stares and snarly looks from people when my hubby and I are both out with the girls( he's jamacian and I'm British/ Pakistani) people seem to be too judgemental!

Carolee - posted on 05/11/2010

I've had people assume that my son was actually my husband's, and that I was the step-parent! My son is half Mexican, and my husband and I are both white, but my son looks like my husband did when my husband was that age!