Being a Mixed couple in Public????????????? Any thoughts on how society makes you feel as a whole??

Danielle - posted on 07/01/2010

i have that same problem i am white and my husband is black and they look at mi belly and i have 10 weeks to go...and then they got the nerve to say so ur going to have a nigger baby and it b mostl from the white ppl....and i dont let it brother me i smile and say yupp sure am and so proud of it.....Now Wat LOL....

Katherine - posted on 07/01/2010

I have a bi-racial child and i'm white an her dad is black but the way i plan on teaching my child is the same way i look at it if i cut myself i bleed red if I cut a black person they gonna bleed red if she get cut she gonna bleed red and Jesus Bleed red when he died on the cross we are all the same color is only skin deep love and care is what really matter

Stephanie - posted on 06/29/2010

I totally understand what u are going through. My babies are mixed white and mexican. If I go in public everyone stares at us like we dont belong together. Well the way I think about it is who asked them. I think that as long as me and my babies and my husband are happy then what other people think does not matter.

Emily - posted on 06/29/2010

i am white but i speak spanish, thats how i met my husband. i used to teach english and a few coworkers from the restaurant i worked at came to me after work and we were sitting there going over some english homework. and i noticed this old lady looking at us. I usually get complimented on my ability to speak spanish but this time i was blown away. she angrly said can't THEY learn english. My family came here form germany and you don't see us pushing everyone to speak german.

I politely explained to her that I was her english teacher and we were going over homework. She replied. well i'm glad a company is doing something about it. I said The company has nothing to do with it but I do it because I love to help people. And got up and left.

If i wasn't 6 mo pregnant and in uniform I would have said it has nothing to do with the company, it has to do with being a good neighbor and not being racist you old bag!

Cassandra - posted on 06/29/2010

i live in georiga(originally florida) and i have had a few looks but not so bad...my kids dnt know tha white side of they familly to much cuz they all back in florida they grow up around they dad family(black side) n they r jus as happy i teach my kids not to see color but rather to see the inside of a person...it doesnt matter wat ne body thinks bc the only one they have to answer to is god!!

Mitzi - posted on 06/28/2010

I first want to say that my daughter is also mixed. Yes I do get the same looks as you, but when I became pregnant knowing that I was going to be having a mixed child I got myself ready for these kinds of people that dont have enough respect to know that we are all human. I laugh at these people no days. I know that it is okay that I am happy with my choices and if people want to look and say remarks that it is only hurting them and not me.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 06/28/2010

Me and my man get looks all the time. He being Korean and me Black. that is a race realationship you just dont see to offten. I mean it's going on 5 years and im gettting use to it, but there are days where i do notice the looks. We now have a 3month old baby boy who looks nothing like me!!! and the looks are evan more then before...LOL as long as the looks are not rude then i dont really mind, because i think to myself...If i seen a couple such as ours...would i look a little harder??? YEP I would.

Stefanie - posted on 06/25/2010

I luckily never have people act like that...what I DO get though is people thinking my husband is not my daughter's father because she is so light! I am white and very fair skinned, my husband is black and my daughter is very light, but she has ALL of his features! Some people will say "Is that your daughter?" Strangers! It's crazy! What if she wasn't? What if he was my new man and still taking care of my daughter? What's it to you? I hate ignorant people! Just hold your head high and who cares what they say!

Marla - posted on 05/23/2010

Yes it's true that bi-racial couples make beautiful children. But hello ladies but as Sidney Poitier said you will always come across people who will not like what they see and then they are others who are curious about it and if you love your partner, you have to be ready to face it together because there is always going to be at least one stupid, ignorant person with a look or comment. I live in Montreal where you can find alot of bi-racial/inter-racial relationship and there is still a lot of looks and stares and some people are shocked when they see my older kids. My kids call themselves little brown and I have always told them to hold their heads high and be proud of who they are. it is going to take a long time before we change people attitudes. One Step At A time !!!

Serene - posted on 05/22/2010

I'm from Indiana and I would get stared at like that espicially in the country towns. I'm white and my boyfriend is black. It wasn't only people staring at us but if we drove on the south side of town we would get harrassed by the police all of the time. They would pull us over and ask for license. I would go to the police station and file a complaint and of course nothing was ever done. Now that we have a son together we stay away from the south side of Indianapolis. But, over the past year or so I have noticed that there is more interracial dating then i have seen in a long time around here. So some of these hillbillies are starting to except it..

Jessica - posted on 05/22/2010

It happens to me(white) and my boyfriend (mexican)....We are in sw mo....Dirty looks esp from the parents when we go walking at the park...hard to believe in this day and age that people still act like that.

Serena - posted on 03/05/2010

I know that this happens everywhere, even in liberal California (where I reside in). I am hispanic and my husband is black and we constantly have people look at us like we broke some law. I'll admit sometimes it bothers me and other times I just look at it like whatevers.
I have to agree with the idea that people are too comfortable now and think that they can say and do whatever comes to them, but there is still that line of common courtesy. I would say don't sweat it but its easier said than done. I think all God's children are beautiful

My-Thuy - posted on 03/05/2010

I get that here and there. I used to live in carroll county where its mainly and all white socitey with maybe i can count on 2 hands of ppl of color. But im used to it. I get looked like that anyway since i have a hasband who is white. I can understand that the ppl need to grow up as a whole. but thats wishful thinking. I just ignore it now..and with my daugther i get more looks then none. It still doe make me uncomfortable once in a while, but i chose to focus on my family at hand when im out in public and having a good tiem, then worrying what others think of me and my family. Im sure your doing an abosoutly amazing job raising your baby girl your thoughts and reactions though do reflect and make her notice too. so dont worry so much ignore those foolish people and enjoy being a happy family.

Pamela - posted on 03/05/2010

I'm black and my husband is white. We are in South Carolina. We get those look somethimes but not often. It is very hurtful and makes you so angry, but what can you do? Enjoy your family, forget those stupid, ignorant, unhappy people. When people do that to us I just wave and smile. It's not my fault that they are jealous. LOL

Robyn - posted on 03/03/2010

I live in Charlotte NC and have never had to deal with anything like that, at least not that I have been made aware of. Being that Charlotte is in the south I'm worried and curious as to how people will react after my baby boy is born. I'm white and my husband is dominican. We have never had any racist comments made directly to us and I'm hoping that it continues that way once our son is born because I would hate for these ignorant people to say something offensive to my child. It's one thing if they react that way to my husband and myself, but my child is defenseless and doesn't know why these people would be treating him like that. You are right though, mixed babies are beautiful! I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with people like that, it's just ignorance. Stay strong :)

Michelle - posted on 03/02/2010

i completely feel where ure comming from... you would think people thay and age would be a little more accepting of it all... i mean if you look around there are some many inter-racial couples and children all around!!! they are all over... i swear people look at my baby and you get so many mixed reactions... you just have to have thick skin and not let the crap get to you... its gonna happen you just have to help explain to your beautiful babys that there are ignorant people in this world and not let it bother you...

Amanda - posted on 03/02/2010

I'm white and my husband is black and we have three beautiful children together. My children have never gotten the rude stares however me and my husband get the stares all the time, it's always bothered me that people stare at us and at first I would always open my mouth and ask them if they had a problem (which embarressed my husband a few times) but after we went to our state fair one year and someone at a booth stopped us to ask us how we dealt with the way people think of our relationship (her daughter is now in an inner-racial relationship) and told us that from the looks on our faces we looked like the happiest family she had ever seen and she thinks that inner-racial couple make the most beautiful babies I've started thinking of it as they are just jealous cause our children are beautiful.

Rebecca - posted on 03/01/2010

In Tulsa I got a lecture on bc when my daughter was born. The lady thought she was hispanic and that I would be barefoot and pregnant constantly I guess since most people in that side of town don't take too kindly to anyone but white people. But I had a blonde with me who had three of her four kids in three years (gave the last up for adoption thankfully) and the woman knew this, but said nothing to her. Now I must say my husband is pacific islander and our kids all take after him in looks for the most part. I have nothing against hispanics but I would rather not have my daughter or husband get nasty looks just for their looks.

LeAndrea - posted on 03/01/2010

I'm not feeling you on this. It just doesn't bother me if people stare at me, us or my kid. Hell, I don't even notice.

Rhonda - posted on 03/01/2010

honey, how should I say this, I'm a mother of 2 mixed boys, one is 25yrs old and he has 3 children of his own, also mixed. My other son is 20yrs old. So what you are feeling for your daughter is not new. I went through the same thing umpteen yrs ago, you at least resisted the urge to slap the S--T out of them. At first it did bother me alot then I came to the conclusion that they were not worth My or My Son's time. My Granddaughter ShiAnn, is the queen of her daddy's house and alot of his friends have made the same comment about maken sure that he has something for all the little boy's that come around. It will get easier as time goes by and you will learn to ignore the STUPID NARROW MINED AND IGNORANT PEOPLE. I found that I had more problems with the African American Females than anyone. Let me tell you I think it does have alot to do with where you live because I had and raised my son's in all places?? IOWA. Now I don't think you can get anymore rural than that. Please keep your head held HIGH and If they really have a problem with it Start loven all over your man in their face. That usually gets them to stop staring for a while.

Good luck to all of you young strong women

From an Old Pro at this.

Katie - posted on 03/01/2010

im having a boy..and we got about 5weeks left..i have become very comfortable with looks because i am pround of who i am and i am proud to be a mommy!!

Samantha - posted on 03/01/2010

Are you happy and secure in your relationship? Do you think your child is beautiful? I know you and and I know you do so SCREW em! My man is dark and Iook like a white girl(I'm actually mixed (black and white) I had to deal with that stuff too. People yelling stuff at us walking while we walked down the street. My man actually got into heated arguments with people for them commenting on us. You just have to live your life and not let it get you down. They're ignorant and not worth your time!

Dee - posted on 03/01/2010

My husband is the first white man I have dated. His family loves me and my family loves him. Now, we've had people look at us different and also said somethings. But it hasn't made me uncomfortable a bit. I'm the type of person that could honestly care less about what others say. When people would look or say something. We would get closer to each other, hold hands or kiss just so we show them, who cares about what they think. But just think, we've come along way. People use to get hung,jailed or whatever, for dating out there race.So I say society has grown up and has come more excepting of interacial relationships. I'm pretty sure there are people thats still not excepting.

Joy - posted on 03/01/2010

BEAUTIFUL!!! never, NEVER let anyone make you feel less than adequate becauese you are of mixed race and LOVE your children. They are not who matters. GOD loves you and your children no matter the color of texture of hair or anything else. I have 4 beautiful mixed children and each one looks different, but the same. I am of black/american indian and my DH is good old fashioned white boy! ( i say it with love) i have one girl with mixed frizzy hair, one with thin straight hair, 2 boys with straight wave hair. in winter in Alaska they get PALE!!! but in summers in Texas they get as dark as myself. Like I said, God love them and tell them that. Let others be ingnorant. dont let the kids sense your disdain or anger about the others because they will learn to be the same way. Have a very blessed day....

Jessica - posted on 02/28/2010

ignore the ignorant! i felt that way for a while and still do sometimes when looks are given. but i know i have two of the most beautiful girls ever. it drives me nuts that people still see skin color and not the person. my husband and i love each other for us. im more concerned about when my kids get in school. i remember kids getting made fun of when i was in school for being mixed. i lived in cali, hawaii, and now tn and felt a bit of this everywhere. so dont let people tell you it doesnt exsist. ignorance is everwhere and unfortunatly racisum is still out there. it's up to us to change that. ;)

Candida - posted on 02/28/2010

I have daughter that is mixed black/white i had her almost 17 years ago and people looked then and now she older they ask her what color are you. When she ask me when she was about 3 why she was different color then me this was my answer to her "your dad is black and your mom is white makes your a pretty brown" till this day she says that. I don't look at color but there is other people out there that does u have just ignore them and its is gettting better since years ago and keep your head up u did nothing wrong. And your daughter is pretty and just like mine they are the ones that are going be something in life!!!!!!

Kacee - posted on 02/28/2010

I have to say sorry for all that you've had to go through. I am white,my son is white,(from previous relationship),my husband is biracial,and our daughter is also biracial. I am also 5mo along with our 3rd and last baby. I have to say,that I have never noticed someone looking at us in a judgemental way. I guess if they did,or I thought that they were,I would have to hold my head up high,and know that they are ignorant people,and have not been taught any better. I wish you had never had to KNOW how it feels to be judged on the color of your baby's skin. I was not taught that way,and I am so thankful. Imagine what it would be like to hate someone just for their skin color. We're better people for looking beyond things like that. I mean really,if you're going to judge a person,it should be on their actions;personality;behavior. I do have to say that,I think it's twice as bad when your child is being attacked,(judged). My husband who's mom is white,and dad is very black;said that he fought with his identity all his growing years. He never knew what to consider himself,and was teased by his mostly white classmates. Today;he is comfortable in his skin,but worries and hopes that our daughter will not have to endure this same kind of treatment. Pretty much everyone we come in contact with though,has treated us with kindness. I don't know where you live,but also it's interesting how the state,town,area,one lives in,dictates those kind of behaviors. I live in Marysville,WA,just north of Seattle,and I have just not had to go through this here,or in Spokane where I used to live. Good luck on the coming years,and just try and keep your head up. Your daughter will inherit the same pride,and confidence if mom displays it. You're a lucky family that seems to care for eachother deeplyr;take care-Kacee

By the way,I looked at the photo you have up of you and your baby girl;and she is so precious. I would love to meet her and get a little hug.

Mikala - posted on 02/28/2010

I am mixed (my mom was white and my dad black) I have 3 children from a previous marriage and their father was white and I have 1 from my current marriage who's father is black. I live in an ultra conservative town that I had trouble growing up in being mixed so I was really worried how my older children would deal when they had a sibling who's skin did not look the same as theirs. As it turns out I worried and made a big deal over nothing. They have never questioned their skin color vs. their sisters. I have also spent time talking about race with them since they were young due to the town we live in and the fact that they spent time around my father's family who have dark skin and then their fathers family with light skin. My daughter who is 4 now has never asked why her skin is different either. She will say that they are white and she is brown but she is comfortable with it. Also to my surprise since I grew up in this town and everyone knows me and my family no one has ever looked askance at my children or made any comments to any of them other than to tell them how beautiful they are. I do spend time as I said earlier speaking to them about possible ignorance they may have to deal with in the future just because my mom did with me and it helped me make it through some rough years in a non-accepting environment but so far my kids have not had any problems. I wish the same luck to all of you who are dealing with this issue.

Jamie - posted on 02/27/2010

im in a mixed relationship too im white my husband is black and when we go out to dinner with my children from a white man we get stared at too and now we are expecting our first child together so i know we will get stares then too we live ina small town called ballston spa n.y and people especially older people stare and prolly make comments when we wallk by but let em stare u cant help who u fall in love with color or no color!!!!!!

Itzel - posted on 02/26/2010

i know how you feel. im mexican and my fiance' is black and my kids are mixed but they dont look like it really. i mean they have light skin color but have black features. and yes i have noticed people looking at them wrong which you are right they shouldnt do that especially to a child. i just put in my head they are just jealous that my kids are so beautiful and there are some women that dont like their race dating outside their race but its our life. ive always dated black and my fiance' has dated mostly mexican. its what we like so get over it. right? ive always said mixed children are soooo beautiful. not saying others are not. but i always knew mine would be mixed. my race has always given me problems bc my family is very old fashioned but they accepted my kids right away and they eventually accepted my fiance'. u just have to put in your mind that people are different and they dont all think the same. yes some are nice and give comments others hate it. just as long as you and your family are happy with each other thats all that mattes ya kno?

Alyce - posted on 02/26/2010

We have been married for 25 years and have 3 daughters so I do have some experience dealing with this. I think it is helpful to learn to get a F*** you attitude (excuse me but it is the only way I really know how to describe it) not rude, just that blank, "do you have a problem?"
It' s different with your children and I have found that I learned to be hypervigilant when my children were younger. Which meant I really developed a 6th sense on how someone was reacting to my child. And I learned there is a big difference between someone who is hateful and someone who is curious or ignorant. But I was very protective of my children. But we also started talking about race and racism at a very early age so they learned ways to deal with it.
I know this is a short answer and we have had so many different experiences.
My daughters are 25, 21 and 17 and very proud of being "mixed" and can now hold there own with ignorant people. But they did have to learn how to do that from her Dad and me.

Jenna - posted on 02/26/2010

first of all moses was married to a dark women, and the bible says for christians not to be with none christians but stupid ppl wants to take the verse that says stay with ur on race as color and not the way god meant it but yea me, my boyfriend and son get the same looks and i just smile at them it really makes them mad that i dont react to there ignorants but the first someone says somethin ugly ab my son oooo they will get a reaction

G - posted on 02/26/2010

See that's what I mean, who are these people to make us feel like we are any less of human beings than they are. We eat, poop, and breath the same way they do. This is suppose to be america, land of the free. But, some people sure try to but a damper on some of our lives. Whats the point, face the music and move on. They should be smiling histatically at us, too know were not as ingnorant as they...



This never bothered me until, the other day when my significant other, myself and my daughter went a certain wal**** to cash that check that everyone waits for at the end of the year. We walk in, everything is usual. Punch in the digits, after ten minutes of waiting. The woman gives us the long, toe to head look over, each of us one at a time. Like we were committing a crime or something. Then says, sorry I can't cash this.......Reason number 2 and hands me a reciept saying call this number to find out why......I call.....man says o it shouldn't have been a problem, it was, then he gave me this lame excuse why they wouldn't cash it.....(says it could have been a fraudulent check). ha!



Mind you, I cash here all the time...(needless to say no more.)



Next day, go to another wal****, no problems, no questions asked....Cashed everything was fine....



Now, no one cant tell me that didn't have something to do us and skin. The sad thing is my man whom I have been with for 7 years, and have given my whole heart too says....Well, if I hadn't been with you it would have gotten cashed, in the first Wal****.



Now aint that some junk????

Faith - posted on 02/26/2010

I feel your pain.....same problem here. We are where we are because of work, and want to move to Atlanta when we can. People here are used to us now, but still get looks making me feel less of a person.

Sabrina - posted on 02/26/2010

I'm from Jersey, and we dont have that problem around her.. i think Its time u moved.. Remember what does not kill u makes you stronger.

G - posted on 02/26/2010

Congrats Katie!! It is a very rewarding, and such a incredible experience!!! I will be praying that everything goes well!!! Such a neat picture (girl or boy?) Its amazing how ultrasounds can look so real now a days.

Ignore the ignorants that is my new name for those that look upon us that way....lol.... keep your head up and keep truckin!!!

Katie - posted on 02/26/2010

well i live in alabama and i get the same looks!!! im white and my boyfriend is black. they look at me, look at him then look at my tummy...im due in 6weeks so im pretty big! but no matter where we go everybody stares as if we are not from this world!! its crazy! but ive become very comfortable with everything! and im super exicited about our baby!!!

G - posted on 02/26/2010

This is all happening in the Northern Kentucky/Greater Cincinnati Area. Thanks everyone for your post and comments. I feel we are all beautiful!! and all of our families are beautiful!!! It doesn't matter what the (ignorants) think. I do feel sorry for them, since they cannot see past skin color. We are all the same on the inside, so whats it matter...



We have been considering another location, one that is more mixed. Its just funny because we see tons of mixed couples around here, and I don't understand why some, not all but some look surprised when they see a white woman and a black man with a mixed child together. Its just a common thing now a days..... I just thought this might be a good topic to converse on...I hope I haven't offended anyone....



Keep your heads up and Keep Truckin, thats what I say. I love it and would do it all over again!! I am a Proud Mommy!!! :-)



In the pic is my daughter and my nephew.

Lisa - posted on 02/25/2010

I grew up in a mixed family and now I have my own mixed family. I adopted a older portuguese girl ( she is now 15 and i'm 35) My other baby is Turkish Canadian.I'm black and white and my bf is Turkish. We get all kinds of looks but I was taught at a young age to feel sorry for those people. They have to live their whole lives being ignorant. My parents told me if there is noone to teach them then how are they suppose to know. Ignore the stares and or comments (if you get some) life is too short to waste on ignorant people who are unwilling to learn.

Christa - posted on 02/25/2010

never happens in georgia...

Terri - posted on 02/25/2010

Why worry bout what other people think? I mean, they will have to "live" with it once they reach the Pearly Gates. Teach your children to be accepting of all children so that the cycle is not perpetuated. Me, I really don't give a flip :) about what others think, say, or do. I don't care how they look at my daughters. While walking away, I tell the girls, "Ignore them. They really need Jesus in their lives." And yes, I make sure to say it loud enough for the offender to hear.

Rachael - posted on 02/25/2010

where do you live? people are definitely rude sometimes (but mostly people who know you cuz they are too comfortable) and people stare alot and give dirty looks but i don't get any extremely offensive questions. i usually just get asked why my son is white and if i';m sure my husband is the father. i would say just ignore them and tell your kids that you think they are beautiful and unique and that some ppl are just ignorant or just don't know any better and to just ignore them.

Lindsey - posted on 02/25/2010

I'm white and my boyfriend is Hispanic and we get looks from both sides. Most people respect my daughter though. I don't know why it is such a big deal who people date. Color doesn't define who the person is. These people out there judgeing will just have to get over themselves and accept bi-racial couples and children!

Pearl - posted on 02/24/2010

Hell yeah i feel u I'm black and my man is white. My kids look like their white and people like at me like I have took someones else kid. It piss me off its not alot of black people just alot of white people.

Regina - posted on 02/24/2010

I was going to ask the same question about location because this sounds like an extreme reaction from people. I know there's curiosity but what u are talking about sounds just plain racist and ignorant. Usually if we are all out together u do get the look from us down to the stroller then back at us again but they usually smile. My baby girl is so cute how could anyone not smile :) Your kids look absolutely adorable so i don't know why anyone would look at them like monsters. U may need a change of environment if possible.

Davina - posted on 02/23/2010

Where do you live? The only place I've heard doing that is in Indiana where I'm from but I moved to Cali and they are much more accepting here... except the older Asians which stare at me like I kidnapped my own children because they don't look anything like me. LOL! Don't even sweat the stares that you get because if your daughter sees you getting worked up about it then she will do the same as she's growing up. She should just hold her head up high when she gets looks and not let it bother her. Teach her she's beautiful and no matter what anyone else says they can never take that from her.

Brandy - posted on 02/23/2010

GIRL WHERE R YALL AT? I LIVE IN OKLAHOMA AND HAVE NEVER EVER HAD THAT PROBLEM ANYWHERE NOT EVEN IN THE LIL COUNTRY TOWNS. I KNOW IT IS OUT THERE BUT I GUESS SINCE MY HUSBAND IS HUGE THEY SCARED..LOL..EVERYBODY LOVE MY DAUGHTER FOR WHO SHE IS NOT WHAT SHE IS..