Black/White Interracial Relationships: Why Are People SO RACIST?

Autumn - posted on 02/09/2012 ( 94 moms have responded )

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I'm so upset! Why are people so RACIST?



I’m Black and every time my white boyfriend and I go out we get the same attitude from white women! White women just give me the dirtiest looks. I am 5 months pregnant with our biracial child, that’s probably why. Sometimes I just feel like turning around and saying “that’s why he chose a Black woman because of nasty attitudes like THAT. I’m going to have his baby whether YOU like it or not.” My chicken and rice is mean and he loves it, so is my pure chocolate skin…and he LOVES that too. I’m not really sure why they act like this seeing as my boyfriend has dated all Black girls. I wasn’t the first. I know it’s just their insecurities kicking in, but really. Next time, I’m just gonna say “u r right, I did get with one of your good white men, lucky me. Jealous?”



I try not to let it get to me, I just pull him close or kiss! My boyfriend hates when this happens too, he says I should turn around and say “Excuse me, but if you saw this man walking down the street alone you would probably walk past him assuming he was just another broke azz white guy or a coke head and wouldn’t give him the time of day!! So don’t hate me because I show NO racism to WHITE men when I walk past them and notice him, NOT his color!!...



Now if you don’t want to be treated like you're less because you’re white (even though I don’t notice color) then don’t treat me like I am not worthy because I am Black! You can’t have it both ways!



Why Are people so RACIST?! What should i do?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Kim - posted on 07/12/2013

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I would have to disagree. In fact it is your statement that is racist. It seems that everyone of every color except white women are allowed to do what ever it is they like, with no reprocussions, and then play that "racist" card when they are caught with their pants down. White women are not the monsters everyone seems to think. We make just as good partners as any other race! We work hard, raise great children and can love a man just as good if not better. But there is one difference, we don't NEED a man because we are smart enough and strong enough to do it all ourselves. So back the hell off and don't play that stupid racism shit 'cause no one is buying it!

Peter - posted on 02/09/2013

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White women are probably the most racist of all the female gender as they are the ultimate slave to the white man. They resent any happiness being recieved from any man especially if the woman recieving it aint white or the man isnt and the woman is.

LanaMelia - posted on 12/09/2013

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LOL! Ok, so I entered this thread because I am a white woman dating a black man and am experiencing all kinds of racist comments and behaviors from other people. I did not think that I'd come on this page and find people being racist to racists! For God's sake, color has nothing to do with it.

I had an unfortunate incident at a pub a couple weeks ago where a couple black women cornered me and told me to 'find a man who looks like you'. At NO point did I assume that all black women are racist and rude, I just knew for a fact that those two women were racist and rude.

I love my boyfriend and I don't care what other people think, but it's frustrating feeling like I need to defend my relationship. I have friends who say comments like 'Do you like dating black guys?" and it drives me nuts! I don't enjoy dating a specific race of men, I love my boyfriend for the person he is. His color had no bearing on whether or not I'd date him!

Southernman - posted on 12/13/2013

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@ Peter:

Your attempts to seperate the bond that white men and women have together is duly noted.

You and your black liberal swine will not wedge yourselves between us.

Karon - posted on 12/21/2012

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Sweetie, dont let them bother you; the sad thing is after all these years, all the scientific advancement, all the biological tests that people still havent realized that under the skin WE ARE ALL THE SAME. my son did not come out with a third ear or a tail or some bulllshite like that because his dad was white and I am black. hello??? WAKE UP its 2013 (almost anyways) black, white, asian, we are ALL HUMAN!!!! end of conversation. darling, if anyone looks at you funny, you and your bf should ask them where they`re hiding their tail in their outfit or better yet, compliment them on how well they learned to walk upright in such a short time. theyre so dumb and ignorant they wont understand and you and your bf will have a good laugh about it. dont let them get to you they arent worth it. Love is love and if you found it cherish it and pay no attention to the cromagnon fools roaming the streets of the world. hope that helps :)

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Lulu - posted 1 day ago

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It used to be that if you had a drop of black blood you were black. While reading this post I notice people referring to themselves as bi-racial. But all black people are bi-racial because we are all mixed up and not pure anything.

Lewis - posted on 04/08/2014

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Rachel - posted on 04/04/2014

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This whole post is upsetting to me. We are in the "Mom's of bi-racial babies" community and this is what we have to talk about? I'm a white women married to a black man with a beautiful son and regardless of what PEOPLE (not their race) do when you walk into a room or have to say is so pointless. Instead, why don't we focus on how we are all in interracial relationships/families. Something that makes us all unique and ALIKE!!!!

Komi - posted on 04/02/2014

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Oh dear, I totally understand what you are going through. I am black, nigerian . My boyfriend is Swiss, been together 8years, and have the cutest 7months old baby girl. Before my baby, I get looks, derogatory ones. We live in lagos Nigeria, and the mentality here is solo bad. One is looked down upon when dating a foreigner . It's so bad, anywhere we go, stares. Now it's worse with my baby.

I get so upset, and realize I frown all the time. So, now I am learning it shouldn't get to me.

Enjoy my baby, and boyfriend .

Vivien - posted on 03/25/2014

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Hormones,love,New situations all lead people to be a little touchy about their lives. As you get further into the role of mom and wife you will realize that very few people judge couples because of race. You will be judged as a good mom,a good wife,a great friend or coworker. The race card is a weak one these days. There are far greater issues by which we are judged. Smile,hold your head up,and have a great life.If you allow your thoughts and paranoia room to grow they will spoil your happiness.

Vivien - posted on 03/25/2014

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As you get older and your family grows you will realize that the way you are feeling right now is filed in part by your youth and a relationship that is based on love ,but is still just a little out of your comfort zone. As you become less hormonal and more confident in your role as wife and mother.you will realize that it doesn't really matter what others think. In fact very few people care about others they are too busy worrying about their own lives . Smile and the world will smile with you.

Tasha - posted on 03/09/2014

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WOW!!! Henry your seem to be the biggest racist in the world. I am sorry that you see your race as so little that you feel the need to attack another. if this is what you feel about Black men what is you opinion of the interacial children they produce. Please do tell iI am eager to find out just how ignorant and pathetic you are.

Tasha - posted on 03/08/2014

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I am 26 and biracial. My fiance is white and has a 2 year old son, which I treat as my own and I also have a biracial daughter who is almost 4 years old who my fiance treats as his own . And more often then not when we are in public and his son calls me mommy or my daughter calls him daddy the looks we get are mortifying. Some are so bad that it makes my fiance go off!!!

White - posted on 01/26/2014

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Cause white swans belong with white swans and black crows Belong with crows

Rees - posted on 01/18/2014

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Wow! iNTERESTING LISTENING TO OPINIONS ABOUT INTERACIAL RELATIONSHIPS. I'm in one myself, having been since the 90's which was not a done thing then, especially being a black man dating the hottest white lady. I 've had my fair share of all sort of comments including the pastor of the church I attended, a man I served in the church and travel with for some years.

My personal take to all the comments was no offense whatsoever - I just knew that the individual who was making racist remarks was the one with the problem not me so i never paid attention. Today, my wife and I have two gorgeous kids (taking after her) and i must say - i just dont notice anymore whether ppl are looking or commenting because it's none of my business - if they have issues, let them deal with their issues and I will not be dragged to an uninformed mind and closed worldviews.

I have a life to live and am enjoying leaving it in diverse democratic SA, those who have issues maybe they should consider immigrating to Norway or Sao Tome' or something where mixed relationships are in a minority.

Mirror - posted on 01/14/2014

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Be secure within your relationship. Why are you so hung up on what people are thinking about your relationship. Sounds like a waste of energy to me. I'm a white woman with a black man. So you can only imagine what it is like in rural southern Georgia. I don't let it get to me. I just concentrate on us. We are happy with each other and that's all that matters to me.

Kellie - posted on 01/02/2014

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I am not racist and grew up appreciating all kinds of people regardless of color. I've seen the wat people do look at mixed race couples and it's just out of their comfort zone. We as a society have become very open minded but depending on where people live, mixing of cultures isn't okay because of the idea that there will be children born to said couple. We need to educate our children and teach them to just love one another.

Kellie - posted on 12/29/2013

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The racism goes both ways. Whites don't think mating with a black is okay and blacks are not okay with mixing with whites! I personally could care less but you can't escape it. How will the children be classified? White or black? It just gets sketchy but one needs to prepare themselves for that!

Marion - posted on 12/25/2013

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I feel like this! When some one does that to you, think of them as not educated.

Southernman - posted on 12/13/2013

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@ Peter:

Your attempts to seperate the bond that white men and women have together is duly noted.

You and your black liberal swine will not wedge yourselves between us.

Aishwarya - posted on 12/13/2013

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For me honestly, an Indian woman with a black man or vice versa and that too with kids, it quite rare

We are often afraid of what *near & dear ones (inclusive of culture* would think. After seeing couples of different races marrying Indians, I can only conclude, that the whites are the ones which are not shunned by Indians as the blacks. And I believe its because the blacks are not even close in status, behavior, appearances, education, family values, morals and culture.

Most blacks greet each other in a ghetto way *Yo Nigga, what's shakin?* in comparison to a modest Indian greet *Namaste! How are you?* .. thus as mother, we wish to impart our kids with a blend of best culture values, morals & see each other as representatives of the divine.



However, for us even whites are more acceptable, because of skin color, which is preferred over the black look, which is looked down upon. I know personally for me, I wouldn’t want to have kids with big noses, lips and kinky hair, not because it is unattractive... but kid should not feel insecure, left out of a culture that isn't receptive of biracial child.

Wendylovessomeone - posted on 12/08/2013

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I hated people who are racist. God created us as equals. No one is better than anyone else. My husband doesnt want my daughter dating a black boy. To me its a
skin color. I told my daughter that when she is an adult she cant date whomever she wants. All I care about is if she is happy and that whomever she dates is good to her and respects her. I don't divide people into races. I see everyone as being the same.

Amy - posted on 12/02/2013

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That is annoying. Just ignore people like that. I had something similar happen to me. I am white and I had a boyfriend who was Costa Rican. He looked like he was black though and had dreaded hair. I can remember being in Tampa, FL and walked past a group of black women...they all chimed in with some crap. I just couldn't believe it. And I thought it was funny cuz he wasn't even black. But yeah, just let people be rude. Who cares.

Cassandra - posted on 12/02/2013

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i don't have that problem where i at i'm black and my boyfriend white we have a handsome baby boy and we don't have no problem like that anyone look and stare us down like that at all. Don't worry what people think of you and your family at least they don't touch you that all i have to say.

Nicole - posted on 11/25/2013

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Karon I LOVE YOUR POST!!!! I am so sick of this racism kick that everyone is one...get off it people its like Karen said we are all human...and since there is only one species of human that makes us all the same biologically...hating someone based on the color of their skin, texture of their hair, eye color (Hitler), fat, skinny, ecetera is just ignorance...pure ignorance...I'm human and my light brownish white mixed with some peach undertones should not be a factor....I just wish we could refer to eachother by another means....I hate saying someone is white or black or African American when they were not even born in Africa...so annoying...cant we just say that is my human friend such and such or check out that human's cute butt...lol...Thank you Karen...I do love your post...wish people would educate themselves on race and what is really going on with it.

Sarah - posted on 11/22/2013

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Hey,
I'm a white girl and I am seeing a black South African guy.
All the time we get stared at when we are out. If we kiss or playing around people stare. I really do believe it's out of curiosity.
I wouldn't let small minded people bother you. Some people are small minded and ignorant.
The other day we had just parked up in the car...a black woman about 50yr old walked past us and couldn't take her eyes away from us. I just don't care. If someone said something I would say something. I have experienced the same from
white people too.
I don't understand a racist mentality... I just don't get it.
But you know it does work both ways I've heard black woman comment on white girls taking all their good men.
Life is about being happy so just live your live be healthy, happy and full of love

[momoftwo] - posted on 11/15/2013

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Oh no no Autumn no double standard. I just think the girls that say those things or act that way towards you are just jealous and being ignorant and they are being racist. They need to grow up. I'd tell someone off if they make racial comments about someone. I don't like discrimination when it comes to anything, I like being a peacekeeper lol.

Bi-racial babies are so cute too, my sister has a friend that I think is Jamaican and her husband is a red head and they have a daughter together and she is adorable! She has the nice dark skin and freckles it's soooo cute!

Mcglen - posted on 11/10/2013

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all i ever wanted lately is to date a white lady not because its a fantasy or to prove a point but to learn about other cultures , the point is we are all equal , the same , like bleed the same color blood and when you love someone its not a matter of , money , skin color or looks but its feelings. so lets live , love and let God

Ade - posted on 11/10/2013

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the best thing is just to ignore ppl and let them talk ....i am black and my boyfriend is mix (half white half black with some indian) but when you see him he looks pure white...i live in London he stays in bristol just two hours away from London..there was a time he came down to London to see me and we hang about in the park and this black man walk up to us and said ..he doesnt understand why black ppl cnt stick to black ppl....white should stay with white....ma partner was really upset we just walked away from the man...very sad situation...

Autumn - posted on 11/08/2013

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thank you for your comment, but you do realize what was written in my post is what many many white women say about Black women all of the time? If the way the questions was asked in MY POST was racist, I HOPE that you say the same thing to white women who make these comments...and I hope that there isn't a double standard applied.

[momoftwo] - posted on 11/03/2013

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The way you explained that was a little racist but I can see you're upset.
I don't know why there is racism in the world but there always will be no matter how hard we try to fight it.

My boyfriend and I are both white and not racist at all. People are just brought up differently. It's funny because just like you said, I dont notice skin either, I like everything equally.

I don't think skin color matters at all, as long as you're happy just hold his hand and keep smiling because you have the man you love and they don't. They are just trying to get under your skin. Girls will be girls.

Kim - posted on 07/12/2013

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The problem with this, at least in my situation, is that some black women push themselves onto white men and don"t care that he is married! They continue to pursue him and screw him and act like it is perfectly ok to commit this "sin" and still are able to attend church, "praise Jesus" and then spit in the face of the "white wife". Since when has adultery been ok? Yes, the husband is at fault, but knowingly pursuing a married man is, in my opinion, one of the lowest, under-handed things a person could do. Then to have no remorse once found out is even lower! I have heard of other instances of this happening
and I have lived this nightmare, still going through it, and I completely blame that black, self-centered evil bitch for ruining my marriage. Black women from what I see, have no morals and no regard for other's feelings, except their own!

Amber - posted on 07/06/2013

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I know exactly what you mean when you say people always stare. I'm white and my husband is black. We have five beautiful bi-racial kids together. We've been together since 1996, I just let them stare. Some times I make a "what are you looking at?" type face. I get looks from both sides; black and white. I try to be polite and smile most of the time. I just remind myself that it doesn't matter what they think, it only matters what you think and what your heart feels.

Autumn - posted on 06/24/2013

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when you look in the mirror as a black man do you see ugliness, since you said blacks were uglier than whites?

Lynda - posted on 05/28/2013

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Never look at a person in front of you that frowns as a solution. Sweet heart people are great if they get to know you. Your attitude should always be a smile and think positive. As a woman I still hear the jokes but you know what?.... I focus on all that I have and show that face. People respond if you even look negative. People will respond with great positive if you show an honest yet happy face. We are not promised tomarrow only today.

Lacey - posted on 05/27/2013

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Autumn First off congrats on the new addition to your family. My husband is black and I am white no matter where you go you are going to get looks and people blowing up negativity about your mixed relationship. I have had black women make remarks that I need to date my own race and white men give dirty looks that a black man has a beautiful white woman. Its just a fact that there is a lot of underlying jealousy and racism....yes I said the word. They just play dating like a matching game by color. Well we are all the same color with the lights off and people think its wrong. The best advice I can give you is your man loves you, and you love him and love conquers all. So when you are out walk proudly by his side and when your holding hand by hand or by the arms always smile no matter what people say and know that what you two think is all that truly matters. I have 2 biracial kids they are so adorable and when you raise them right they will learn by the example of the two most important people in their life and they learn to embrace the wonder of two different cultures that come from mom and dad

Lucille - posted on 05/26/2013

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Hello to both of you.
Congratulations on your new baby which arrives soon God bless all.
It is tough to feel these hate stares its ignorance their efforts to break you up. Will make you stronger. It does not stop but you get better at dealing with Why is your dad black mom white and you brown I tell them cause we are all equally.

My sister is mixed race children came out causation completely one came out light skin. They swear my nieces and nephews are full Irish or British sue to prominent noses they are born here so yes but parents are from Poland it is a sick world of racism you will experience.

I have happily show proudly my family off in photos try educate rather than respond too defensive don't waste energy some are surprised at the photos of our children. Yet they accept us all for ourselves that I am mixed race. They accept our causation and mixed and black children. I show truth we get called few names but Some are very warm and loving towards us and our children. I just ignore nasty ones .

Adam Eve were black

Where the white race comes from truth is on line as are blacks couples who have white babies from Africa who were never slaves. So do not upset yourself I have same problems cause my man is white. Mixed races with white also get I have thick skin. I can send you some images and facts I will sent it too you from facebook or Hotmail. just request me Lucille Pinnock or Lucillepinnock@live.co.uk you will have to educate your baby about lies and hate and truth and God love

I have images of black couples with white children who are albino and causations no throw back Somalia's with causations and well browns blacks who turn white naturally or take a look you will see.

God bless and hope you get married one day enable you both to scratch your eye nose and say my darling husband wife I love you so much my parents God married
years later they divorced but they have other partners for 15 years now and they are my step parents I love them all I have 4 now. lol

It is all good rhough I love diverse erotic black and white mixed looks. And love my parents for both giving me a bits of there looks that make me feel uniquely me. I get bad days like everyone with my hair my afro won't stay up I have to use back come and spray it sinks in middle but I went out like a Arican Princess warrior at carnival and everyone loved it and took photos of me even the Chinese and sometimes I want to be darker akin so I go in sun lighter so I keep out sun straighten blow dry hair hair sometime get ringlet perms or just leave it natural frizzy sometime shave it ...LOL grow it too my bum and people say is it real lol So yeah don't get upset if she comes home or him with some gothic look or dreads or Muslim scarf they pass through stages. I did Madonna break dance professional suited booted and moulage rouge Whitney Huston and Diana Ross Salt and Pepper Dirty Diana someone said I look like Eqypian Moroccan Indian my looks I experiment with teach him her all the tricks then say no I am black and white albino I experiment yep ever changing thinking of going blond since heard blacks cannot be blond lies and browns so yeah go make them screw some more get some contacts some different hair colour reds too since black have ginger hair too since my niece is blond green eyes brown girl yeah have fun see reactions hhahah I love it it gives me joke look at the Africans blacks with natural different colour hair features and eyes colour and embrace your power girlfriend cause it all comes back too black even white skin which can be snow white yeah show it be the model. I am gonna wear make up too make me look darker see how they react and straighten my hair heeee I am Aquarius they cannot mess with us we love to show the truth and well if whites can tan and blacks can go white we can play too.

Love and blessing Lucille never let the suckers get under your skin ok

Nicole - posted on 05/25/2013

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My goodness where do you live? I'm thankfully oblivious when I go out so I've never had an issue dealing with stares (I'm white and husband is black) and no one has ever made a comment to my face, but if I saw you and your boyfriend you might catch me staring (not in a mean way) but just because it's so unusual to see a white man with a black woman where we are. Sometimes people stare just because they see something out of the ordinary and mean nothing hateful by it (they don't realize they're being rude). Sometimes people stare because they see something they like and they can't take their eyes off of you. And then there's the 'other' types of stares where the people have that look on their face like they smell something bad and they're looking at you like they wish you would die. I'm sorry if you're getting the latter type of stares. Unless you want to constantly be in 'confrontation' mode I don't know what else you can do except to ignore it and have fun with it like it sounds like you're doing. Haters gonna hate.

Colleen - posted on 05/20/2013

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I agree that its hard especially for people with very contrasting skin colors, such as my parents to be in a love relationship, because a lot of people base picking a love partner on having things in common, one of which so many people think should be at the top of the list is skin color. Again, we are all humans so it really does not matter. Color is unfortunately the first thing, everyone;s eyes see, sceintifically speaking, so it may draw their attention more. I love to see interracial couples, especially black and white, because they remin me of where I came from/my parents. It has to do with what people are used to, too. If people have been in same race relationships and families their whole life, then they are prbably going to see interracial relations as more different. Think about this. Its the same with all races. Some people need to learn its okay, and beautiful for people of different races or skin colors to be together. People need to learn to embrace diversity and see all people as being beautiful, smart and capable of doing the same things. For the people who are outright racist? shame on them.

Raven - posted on 04/23/2013

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Thats crazy! I am black and my husband is white. We always get dirty looks from older black men mainly. You would think they would congratulate because they are from the "black panther" era. But hey, I guess Hate isn't racist.

Lynda - posted on 02/10/2013

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Sometimes your better off not sharing your bad experiences... instead share great experiences. Yesterday we took a ride on the Harley in the rain... It was the best experience ever! We are the interracial couple of love. I am mocha and he is vanilla. He loves my breast and I love his lips. We have been together almost 5 years and he still gives me butterflies. When I think of him or visa versa we call each other just to laugh on the phone. He is 52 yrs old and I am 46. His job title is a Captain of 30 years yet I fell in love with him not his money nor his uniform. We just love each other. My 15 year old says,"you and papa act like teenagers". We giggle and then kiss. Pillow Talk is what I call it.

Ankunda - posted on 01/27/2013

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I tell you what, i like read your comments, it makes me happy, am in china now, asian women their still dont belive that White man can date Black woman.

Derek - posted on 01/25/2013

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hello,is there anyone out there im a black male who is seeking a white bbw in cleveland , ohio its so dificult to find here.

Ankunda - posted on 01/24/2013

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I have white boyfriend, two weeks ago i was with him in German, and one guy came to as then he ask me nicely do you speak Germany? i said no. after he started to speak with my boyfriend then he asked him to? what are you doing with this dirty black woman.I became angry that day i couldnt eat even sleep. why people are so silly?

Toni - posted on 01/21/2013

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I feel for you, Autumn... I'm a white woman engaged to a black man who's the father of our five yr old daughter. To top off our racial disparity, I'm 8 yrs older than he is (though luckily, I don't really look it). We had issues in our last home, as we were in an apartment over a woman who made it abundantly clear that he should be with a black woman, rather than me. Of course, she offered herself for that honor, and when he refused to take her up on it, she brought in all of her black girlfriends to prance around the pool outside our apartment and offer to prove the superiority of their "abilities".
It's a good thing my darling is the amazing man I've known and loved for nearly ten years, or I'd have done something rash and clocked a couple of them in their empty little heads...
He convinced me that I should look upon the nay-sayers and racist individuals with pity, rather than anger. After all... If they are so concerned about our relationship, then they must not be fulfilled in their own. Jealousy is a hard thing to ignore, and an even harder thing to keep at bay. Your happiness is really your only weapon, so wear it well and be proud of the beautiful relationship you have and beautiful life you're creating together.

Keep smiling, and kiss him reeeeeeeeeeally well when others are frowning at you! ;)

Odin - posted on 01/11/2013

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LML now you see what the fuck we go through. I got a white girl and I get the DIRTIEST LOOKS FROM BLK WOMEN. When it comes to putting up with FUCKERY AND BS for dating outside your race...NOBODY HAVE IT WORSE THEN BLACK MEN.

Lynda - posted on 12/26/2012

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I have my boyfriend of almost 5 years and he is white. My family turned their back but I just keep going. People are just confused.

Onetraeh - posted on 12/19/2012

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wow I've never seen white women do tht they normally don't care where I'm from maybe u live in the south?I would just ignore it tho & just concentrate on being your best self & really give them something to stare @!idk how old u r but you'll come to realize the only real things r u & yours everybody else can kick rocks;once you're in tht place of peace u won't gaf.but if it really makes u upset & u just feel like u want to slap somebody then put some gloves on & go hit on a bag for awhile;it's great exercise & a great outlet for any frustrations in your life
onelove

Rachel - posted on 12/07/2012

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Screw'em all! People are people and just because you are one "race" or the other doesn't mean jack. My husband is "black" and I'm "white" so what. God made us both and made us for each other. I don't even pay attention to that anymore. The thing that makes me more upset is when people assume that we aren't married and my husband has a crappy job because we're young or that I got married because I was pregnant. None of these things are true. People just make dumb assumptions just by looking at someone instead of asking. I'm a happily married, stay at home mom with a 4 month old and I'm 21. It happens lol

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