Valencia - posted on 01/01/2011 ( 11 moms have responded )
I am an African American woman with a caucsian husband. We have two sons - 8 and 4 and a daughter on the way. While I do explain certain things to my children about race and culture, for the most part it isn't really made a "big deal" in my household or extended family. They have lots of contact and acceptance from both sides of our family. Both sets of grandparents are living and they have several aunts and uncles of of both races. For the majority of his schooling (my oldest) he has been in a very multi racial school. There was only one year (1st grade) where he was in a school that was predominantly white and we left that school district after one year because I didn't feel it was a healthy environment for him as there was obvious prejudice that existed in that community. We now live in an area that is VERY mixes - as a matter of fact, I have never seen so many biracial kids in one place in my life. I say all this to explain that my son has had a pretty good exposure to black and white people as well as others. That is why it is really strange to me that sometimes he seems to think that white is better. He has never come out and said that, but he makes comments once in a while that lead me to believe that. I was looking at pictures of biracial little girls online today because I am designing the invitations to my baby shower. I wanted to put a picture on the card of a baby that might look similar to what my daughter will look like. He came up and asked what I was doing and I told him. He said, "I wonder if our baby will be more white or black." I said, well honey it doesn't really work that way. She will be a combination of both because mommy is black and daddy is white. He then said he was more white down on the bottom part of his arm and more black as he went up his arm (which I thought was really funny) but then he started to trace his finger up the side of his arm and started at the bottom saying " good, good, good" and then when he started to get up to the elbow area where he gets slightly more tanned he started saying, "ah! black, black, black." I asked him why he said the lighter part was good and the darker part was bad and he looked embarrassed and said he didn't know and pretty quickly left.
I've never made a big deal of race with him, but I've never kept him in the dark either in terms of some of the problems with our society because it does come up from time to time, be it on television or situations of racism that he has personally witnessed. I've tried to explain to him that all people are beautiful children of God and no one is better than the other and that he should be proud of everything he is comprised of. I don't want to give him a complex, but I don't want him to grow up being one of those biracial black/white kids that seem to be trying really hard to divorce themselves from all things non-white. I'm not sure how to handle the situation. Any suggestions??
thanks guys! :)