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Dealing with Your Partners Different Culture

Madison - posted on 08/25/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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So I'm Native American, and my Fiance is Korean. Our daughter Elise Su-Jin is now 3 months. I've tried so hard to be kind, but they have said pretty hurtful things. And then they tell me that its just there culture. First of all, Both my fiance's parents told me that if I love there son I'll get an abortion. Which my fiance wanted to keep the baby. The they ignored me most of my pregnancy. Then when the babies born they want to see her. Then his mom gets mad at him for posting a picture on Facebook. She said she didn't want anyone to know.



Does anyone else have to deal with in-laws like that? What kind of stuggles did you have with your partners family?

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Brittany - posted on 10/10/2012

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It sounds like it's not so much an issue with your race that they have, but rather that you're having a child out of wedlock. There are a lot of cultures/faiths that have an issue with this and think that it's shameful, so I can understand where they're coming from. I think your issues with his family will probably lessen once you marry him, and once they have more time getting to know you. I also chose to do life in the order that you did (nearly, I married my husband before the baby), and luckily my family sounds a bit more understanding. My advice would be just to be as patient, understanding, and humble as you possibly can, and hope things will get better. Honor is a BIG part of Asian cultures, so try and salvage as much honor as you possibly can by living as respectfully as you can despite the situation. As long as you don't let anger or frustration get the better of you, I bet things will get better. Good luck!

Roxanna - posted on 09/08/2012

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My issues with my ex's family iwas not so bad, but do I feel for you!

To begin with, it IS the culture, but YOU do not have to accept it. For lack of a better term, most Asian cultures are very, very racist! Have a conversation with your partner and let him know how hurtful it is for you. Do not deny the paternal grandparents access to your child, but stress to your partner that you will not tolerate disrespect from his parents.

Good luck!

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