Do Black Mothers of Mixed-Black Babies Care If they're Children Are Called Black or Biracial?

Donna - posted on 06/28/2012

Brown, I did what you suggested and found another post from your other post "I noticed that mixed/white children with white mothers call grown ups by their first name, and black/mixed children with black mothers call grown ups Mr and Mrs. Has anyone else noticed this" and here again I find you.

Funny enough in our last conversation you made some random comment to me that I don't know what it's like to be black because I am not. Yeah, I agree. I don't and have never pretended to know.

However, same to you, don't speak for a white mother of a biracial child because you are not one and have no basis to comment. You seem to like to stir the bi-racial children pot. Why do you think that is?

Annastesia - posted on 06/28/2012

I am a black mother of a black/white/puerto rican baby girl. I was adopted at 2 months by a biracial couple and was always told that I was biracial as well. We never knew that I wasn't until I found my birth mom last year. My mom fought very hard for me to considered biracial on school forms and what-not. I would like my daughter to do the same. She isn't just black or just white or just puerto rican, she is all of those races combined. so she shouldn't choose just one. It's funny because right now she only looks white/hispanic (she is 2 weeks old) and if she only looks like her dad for the rest of her life, I would make sure she includes my side as well. My relatives and friends all joke about how I had a "white baby" and it sort of pisses me off just because she isn't just white and they know it.

Tammy - posted on 06/23/2012

@Brown, as a non black woman I have no problem with anyone calling my child black, as she calls herself black, and honestly, she looks mixed, some had said she looks like she has Spanish heritage though she does not. I do think there are women of any color that do hate for their child to be referred to as a race other than their own. I think it is ignorance and fear that maybe they will think that someone will not believe it is their child. But I do not think that all non black women are like that.

Tammy - posted on 06/23/2012

Well.. I'm a white woman with a biracial child and she identifies as black. I am more than fine with that. Whatever makes her more comfortable. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that her father chose not to be part of her life. But she has, since she was a little thing, said that she was black, and so that's fine with me. I encourage it. She's 16 now and she fits in well with blacks, spanish, and whites. So it all works out. I don't know how women of color would react. But I would think any mother would want their child to feel confident in who they are and if they identify a certain way then the mother should support that. Just my two cents. Though I know you are looking for another perspective.

Julie - posted on 06/16/2012

Sure no problem, have a good night :-D

User - posted on 06/16/2012

Julie my fan please lets call it a truce until tomorrow lol!

Julie - posted on 06/16/2012

Brown...Couldn't resist, I know I said I wouldn't respond buuut, YES I'm a HUGE fan, (ego booster for you, could your head get any bigger though?) laughter is great for the soul and o my Lordy do you provide that!! Who says I shouldn't be amazed by anything??...that's just one of the dumbest things I've heard come out of your mouth, My children amaze me everyday, along with so many other things...I'm sorry you don't get to experience that from your children or life in general :( By the way, I KNOW this wasn't your question, DUH :)) Oh and I SAID...."you are always putting down us "non-white" mothers"..um yes that would include me but not address only me, YA DIG? How in the heck would that make me quilty of anything...do you even read what you write? Unlike yourself I don't go digging back 2-3 years to find a topic to respond to, I like to keep it to the recent ones, I don't have all day to just search for things like you do. The comments I've seen from you are on recent posts and 9 times out of ten are always NEGATIVE, you take the cake for that one in this community, there that's something you're probably proud of, I'd send you a prize if I could. As far as assumptions..when YOU say all black/biracial hair is the same...that would be an ASSUMPTION, cleary it's not the same and doesn't require the same products or care, even people without biracial children know that, it's common sense! NO you don't know first hand what the slaves went through, were you there??...Unless your really really old, I think not. It's like never having lost a loved one but telling someone who has that you know how they feel, well UH no you don't. You KNOW the stories you've heard and you most likely have been subjected to some predjudice treatment but I KNOW you don't know what it's like first hand to be owned by a white slave master and work out in the fields picking cotton, so don't say you do! I didn't tell you you don't know about your own people...read it again honey I was referring to slavery and how you're NOT and never have been a slave. Oh and by the way, yes as a matter of fact at this moment I am thirsty and I could use a nice cold lemonade or iced tea :) YOU have a great day also. Oh and I look forward to seeing and responding to your lovely questions. Till we chat again :)

User - posted on 06/16/2012

Julie Oh Julie, happy to hear from you. You didn't have to respond this isn't my question I just answered the question. Do you feel guilty about something? You think. You said that I am always putting you down, really because I see many negative posts out here for example. THere are many asking why Black women are always giving snide comments about white women. Did you go to those post and give them your two cents. NO you didn't. So there. I did not make assumptions about Non Black women, I asked a question. A question is different from an assumption. I am not pro black and do have mixed children, however I do not like the comments either that I see out here about Black women. SO basically there you go.

You think that I don't know what black people have gone through, honey please my family is from the south. And just look at how black men are still treated today. So don't tell me what I don't know about my Own people. Please I could tell you what happened to my grandfather in the south but I won't.

Julie you must be really a fan! Have a great day! Oh and you shouldn't be amazed by anything. Don't be thirsty.

Julie - posted on 06/16/2012

@ Brown...OH Brown LOL....I just have some things to say. 1st-you couldn't offend me if you tried (which I strongly believe is a part your intentions for being on this board) and u crack me up! 2nd-I don't even understand why you're in this community, you are always putting down us "non-white" mothers' and never offer anything positive in your responses, they are always filled with negativity and ignorance and just plain nastiness. You very often sound like you're making assumptions about the majority of non-black mothers and how we feel about various subjects and topics with the questions you post. 3rd-I don't care if you actually do have bi-racial children ( which I doubt you do) and actually can't for the life of me figure out how that even happened seeing as how you are soo pro-black and anti anyone who is non-black and you're constantly bringing up slavery...of course slavery was horrible, horrific and inhumane to say the least and happened MANY YEARS ago by the white race and unfortunantly we can't go back and change that and no I don't have any idea what the black people actually went through but you know what...neither do you! Making you black doesn't mean you experienced what your ancestors did, so you should really try to leave slavery out of your posts cause it just makes you look more racist and anti-white, you seem like a very angry person :-( No profile pic and no way to see a profile page for you...hmm why is that?? You can't show your face but you sure like to open your mouth :)) 4th-so just to make sure I got this right...you're saying that these children you know who have no respect, it is because the mother is non-black and doesn't know how to bring her kids up the right way..wow?? The stuff that flows off your fingers and onto the screen just amazes me sometimes but I must admit, it's always entertaining. Oh how I could go on and on but I'll bite my tongue. Of course I expect some off the wall, ridiculous, yet entertaining response from you and that's fine. I look forward to it but won't be responding :)

@Autumn...Sorry for the rant, I just had to get that off my chest. About your question, I'm a white mother with bi-racial (blk/wht) children and it doesn't bother me either way. I understand the majority of the population will view them as black because of their skin color but they choose to identify themselves as bi-racial because they are proud of and embrace the fact that they are half Italian and half black.

User - posted on 06/16/2012

I don't think that us black women care as much as white women do. just saying, not trying to offend anyone. Black people have been dealing with this since slavery, slave kids by white masters were picking cotton just like everybody else, they were considered black. I don't care if my child is called black and he's mixed he is black.

I honestly think, this is my opinion, I think that non black women, have a problem with people calling their child black, when many of them look black, some look mixed. I think that some of the children are confused, from my own experience with someone I know. Husband is black and the kids really looked mixed not black. His mother cannot stand her kids, not because they are mixed, she said because they are disrespectful and weren't' brought up right. I had to agree, I am around them, and I know what she is talking about. All her other grandchildren and one is my cousin, she treats them like royalty.

Lisa - posted on 06/16/2012

I had a boyfriend in college that's biracial. His mother is white & his father is black, but he never knew him because his father was a rapist. Even though he looks mixed or light skinned black, he identifies himself as white & I can understand why. I think it's a very individual thing that others should respect whether they understand or not.

Rachael - posted on 06/14/2012

if my son identifies more with his jamaican side then his white side i wouldn't have a problem with it. i'm aware of the fast that a black/white child can be considered black or biracial by society but will never be considered white. as long as my son isn't going around pretending like he's not white at all i don't care. i would feel the same way is he pretended he was only white and not black

Nikki - posted on 06/14/2012

Well, I am black and my husband is white, for someone to classify my children as either is not an ordeal to the both of us, people are allowed to have opinions, but what really matters is how we classify our children and how our children classify themselves, it's our own opinionated reasons, sure you may find this hard and not understanding but who cares how they see our children, what matters is that you teach your children their full entirety culture and how to react when they are put in that situation. My statement my children are often called Mexican, Puerto Rican or Dominican because of their light skin tone and brown hair, which is shocking because they all have different colour eyes, my son: brown, my daughter: grey/green and my youngest daughter: blue/grey, just inform them to hold up their pride and dignity because no one can ever change who they are and will be.

Katie - posted on 06/09/2012

If I can reply in vise-versa. I would be offended if anyone considered my biracial baby to be white. Because it takes away from who she really is. How about we not call my child anything but by her name. Why do we give a shit about race, ethnicity, and so on. She"s freaking human. That's all anyone needs to know.

Renee - posted on 05/30/2012

It a individual issue. In California some of us are representing ourselves as mixed or Halfbreed. There is a positive clothing line out here called Halfbreed Clothing Co. which is growing fast. It's all mixed inclusive and it feels like a multi-ethnice, one lov, unity and pride movement for mixed people all over the World. check them out at www.facebook.com/iammybrand

Tiffanie - posted on 05/27/2012

Do I care? Hmm, not really. I am black, so if my daughter is called black, it wouldn't bother me. Nor would I care if she were called biracial. Her father is Latino, and she looks more like him than she does me, but her being called black/biracial is not offensive in the least to me. We refer to her as Blaxidorian (Black/Mexican/Ecuadorian), but I doubt the U.S. Census bureau will get around to that categorization anytime soon. LOL.

Kendra - posted on 05/27/2012

I am black and my husband is white and we have a daughter together. I have 2 points of view on the matter. First, I do think that in many cases, people will be what the world perceives them to be. That being said, I do consider her biracial and want her to be as such because to claim that she is either is unfair to who she really is.

Laurie - posted on 05/26/2012

I think it's simple - if you never acknowledge the presence of something it will not exist. Children who are mixed/bi-racial need a platform to identify themselves - they exist and should not be lumped with "one" group to ease the insecurities of society. You should not have to choose sides in regards to your parents' ethnicity solely based on how society will see you - that's just about the stupidest thing i've ever heard of besides the "one drop rule". "Society" obviously aren't taking into account how genetics work or that we receive equal amounts of chromosomes from each parent. Lets allow our children a chance to choose how they want to exist and not push labels on them. I am a black mother of a bi-racial child who loves his dad more than words can describe - I'd never ask him to abandon his heritage on either side.

Carol - posted on 05/26/2012

I do. My children arent black, they arent white, they are of german, african, native american, french, irish and british decent, my kids are Americans, my dad was mixed ( black/native american) and had to enlist as black, i am black, native american and white and i had to enlist in the army was black. I fought with my recruiter telling him ' im not black, im not white, im not native animerican, can i just put other down?' racial categorization is just another way for the government to keep track of what ethnicities ( i wouldn't say its a race as we have the human race) reside in the country based on what our father was. If thats the case, my kids are white, as their dads are white, i am black because my dad is black, my husbands adopted family most likely come from the Melugeons of Appalacian because his adopted family is primarily from West Virginia, does that make them Mullato because his adopted dad is white but the Melugeons are decended from mixed black/ whites/ native american ancestry. Black is a color, as is white, your an American if you are born here, why do you need to be catergorized any other way?

Jessica - posted on 05/25/2012

I'm biracial myself half Filipino. And half black, my kids are multi racial bc I went and married someone who wasn't African American and yes I would be upset bc to just say they were black would discredit their other races. I tell them they are mixed, bc they are and no one would believe those tanned curly haired children were just "black" lol

Janessa - posted on 05/22/2012

Maybe it would bother his father who is white. Than again I am Canadian we see things allot different on race than Americans do. I am also Haitian in my country mixed race people have they own box except if they are poor than they are are black. Plus people and whites think my son is mexican which is what comes to they mind first when you look at him.

♏*PHOENIX*♏ - posted on 05/21/2012

It would bother me. My son is biracial, mixed, Blasian....not just black.

Not to mention, if he ever climed just black no one would believe him. He looks more Asian then black..lol

Zeora - posted on 05/21/2012

My daughter is black spanish and white and it doesnt bother me beacause its reality when im walking aroound with my daughter in my arms its apparent that she is not completely black since she is fair complexion with blue/grey eyes and and big loose curls...and I carry her with pride....her father is spanish/white but he considers himself spanish because he appears spanish.If my daughter wanted to call herself any of these races it would bother me that who she is and who would i be to tell her what race to relate to...i love her reguardless

LaWanda - posted on 05/20/2012

I am a black mother of three mixed children by my white husband. I identify my children as mixed, giving credit to both races. When my daughter started to identify herself as black, I corrected her and told her she could not just identify herself with me, because she has a daddy too and he is white and I consider it disrespectful to not include him. However when she calls herself brown, I don't correct that. She says that black and white makes brown and that is cute. Because all are children are brown and we made them.

Autumn - posted on 05/17/2012

thanks for your inpuut

Whitney - posted on 05/16/2012

I am a mixed child. My mother (white) let me call myself whatever I wanted. My father (black) doesn't like the fact that I call myself mixed. He says society only sees me as black. I am proud of both my ethnicities and feel calling myself by only one is denying the other. My daughter is half Puerto rican. I want her to feel proud of everything she is and never to deny them. Even though most people do not believe she is black.

Sarah - posted on 05/15/2012

It may take a while to get many black mothers to respond, since there are more non-black mothers with bi-racial children in this particular community. I'm sure you already know that. Good luck!

Autumn - posted on 05/15/2012

thanks for the comment, i was looking for some input from black mothers, but i appreciate your input i just feel like we got a lot of comments from white mothers on this topic already...not so much from black women.

Tamra - posted on 05/15/2012

This is a very interesting question and I think the answer will depend on many of an individual's personal experiences and circumstances. I was adopted at birth and did not know my racial background till I was about 20. Growing up with adoptive parents who were both black I honestly thought I was black and never gave it a second thought. I have a pretty light complexion so I wasn't surprised to find out that one of my parents is white, but I still associate strongly with the culture I grew up with. My husband was born in Africa and tells me that there are "blacks", "whites" and "coloureds" (racially speaking - a coloured is mixed). I don't mind what people call me or my children because we can relate to almost all of the races (and are often mistaken for one or the other). I don't want anyone to speak down to me, and especially not because of the colour of my skin, but really it doesn't sum up who I am so I guess I usually try to point those who are ignorant to the REAL person that I am, including my culture.

Toni - posted on 05/15/2012

I would want my children to identify with their Italian heritage (father's side) because that is part of who they are. To not acknowledge it is not true or fair.

Sarah - posted on 05/15/2012

I can't speak for black mothers in regard to the question. I would not like for my daughter to only call herself black, because that would seem she is not proud to be part of me (white).

Ellie Richardson - posted on 05/15/2012

I think your question is a good one. Im of mixed black/creole/spanish heritage,and my husband is full blooded African American and My one of my kids identify themselfs as black. One calls herself mixed. My little one calles herself brown, not black. I think it should be an individual choice. I teach them all about our family history so they are knowledgable in who they are and where our family comes from and their Identity is going to be left to them an their choice. They can call themselves what ever they are comfortable with. If they wanna call themselves black they can, or mixed. What ever.