Does the "N" word bother anyone else?

Miranda - posted on 08/04/2009 ( 121 moms have responded )

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Most of the people I associate with are Asian and they feel that because they aren't white they can use the "n" word freely and use it to refer to my half-black baby. It is a word that I personally despise and do not appreciate hearing. Does anyone else have this problem?

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Eileen - posted on 11/21/2009

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In my opinion its not different when a black person says it. Its just accepted more. Anyone using that word should remember how it was used originally and it is very disrespectable in any context.

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Nancy - posted on 03/28/2013

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Oh my goodness - - - would they think it acceptable for you to call them any of the disparaging terms used to describe Asians?

I cannot think of any situation under which it would be appropriate for anyone to call your child or anyone else a "n".... (etc)

Yvonne - posted on 02/10/2010

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Heck yes that "N" word bothers me ALOT!! I am happily married to an African-American and very proud of him and my two very handsome boys! The "N" word is just not aloud! I dont see color, just human beings.

Beth - posted on 02/10/2010

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My son is 15 and goes to a school where there might be 5 mixed/blacks in the whole school, one of the kids called him the "N" word so he puched him in the mouth iv always tought my son that fighting is not the anwser but i think he had enough. On the other hand if one of his black friends called him that it would be ok. How can i teach him different at age 15?

Denise - posted on 02/04/2010

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I find it ironic that ppl think that "N" is just a word and it does not mean anything. I can assure you that it does and none of it is good. If you are in a group that says it say something to them. Let them know that it is not appropriate and you don't want to hear it. I have corrected many ppl, ones I know and ones that I don't know about that. I have also asked them if they feel so free saying that word around ppl who will kick their ass. Look you can preach all day long about what that word means or does not mean it all comes down to a matter of respect. It does not mean the same thing when a black person says it to another black person, than when a white/other person says it at all.

Mikki - posted on 02/04/2010

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I don't feel that ANYONE should use that word. Whether you are black, white, yellow, brown, orange, purple, blue, green. It doesn't matter. No one uses that word in the proper text. Some use it towards others as you would say, "Hey, friend." Others use it to be rude and degrading.



That word is to define any ignorant person, no matter what race or ethnicity. I feel it shouldn't be used because many get offended by the word. Some hear others use it and feel that they, too, can use it, then an altercation can occur because the second to use the word weren't supposed to say it according to the first who used the word.



That word and any other racial slurs should not be used ever by anyone. We are the "Mixing Pot" of the world. This country has so many races and ethnicities mixed into everyone. Just a few months ago, while my grandmother was visiting, I found out that I am also mixed with African American. That only goes to show that everyone does not know what they are mixed with, and you never know who you could be offending and what the offended person may do because you offended them.



My boyfriend is an up-and-coming rapper and though he does use a version on that word in some of his lyrics (never, NEVER, ending in -er), he knows how I feel about that world and knows that I never want my children to use that word because some like to use that word to describe my children because they are mixed with black.



I just feel that no one should use that word or any other racial slur, no matter who they are. It will just make everything much easier for everyone.

Elizabeth - posted on 01/30/2010

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I think it's sad to say that the "N" word is still being used by any interacial family, but it is. I was born in a household, where that word was not allowed by us nor anyone who entered our home. I must say that I have kept that same standard in my household and furthermore, choose not to associate with people who use that type of language. It's a curse word in my house. I don't like the "b" word either and don't allow my friends or anyone else to refer to me in that manner, so. He we go. Let's stop being selective, consider that and any other form of bad langauge unacceptable in your household, period. Children are a product of their enviroment and furthermore demand respect from all who come in contact with you and your child includding, but not limited to the parents.

Sarah - posted on 01/30/2010

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Hate it, Hate hearing people use it, and hate that some people use it as a term of respect. I was brought up to know that it was a derogatory word ment to seperate people and shouldn't be used, so I can not understand why some black people use it in that way because they are still seperating themselves. As many others have said it is extreamly rare that it is accepted for a person of a different skin colour to say it, which again promotes seperation. If it's ok for 1 it's ok for all! If it's not ok, then it's not ok for anyone! I have mixed race twins that are english, german and afro caribean and a mixed race baby who is english, russian, ukrainian. I won't allow any of them to use it and they will feel the rath of mummy if I ever catch them saying it! I teach my children to see people not to see skin and that word is to attract peoples attention away from the person. I know how it feels personaly to have that word hurled at me. I was a (N loving sl*t) when a white bloke threatened to slit my throat because I saved my black friends from being stabed up in london. There is no way any1 can say it's just about confidence and that a word can only hurt if you give it power. Words are powerful we wouldn't sit here typing these msg's if that wern't so. And they do hurt we have all at 1 point or another used our words to hurt some1. Don't ever stand for any1 puting you or your child in a position where you feel lesser or unworthy. You will find you have to pick your battles sometimes you need to fight back and others you need to walk quickly away from. I don't believe we can fight racism all the time and I have had situations where if I hadn't taken my children away from it fast, then their confidence would have taken a massive knock and I wasn't willing for that to happen so young when they were only just 4. Where as other occasions I have involved different institutions to resolve the matter. I have even had to talk to someones mother. Like I say you have to pick your battles and way up the pro's and con's for you. None of us know your situation fully so it must come down to your judgement as to what you do to resolve it.

Good luck and stay strong and proud!

Tamara - posted on 01/30/2010

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I would personally be very upset if anyone called my child that name. I cant stand the word myself and never use it because its disrespectful.

April - posted on 01/30/2010

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My daughter is biracial her birth mother is white and birth father is black, I under no circumstances tolerate the "N" word! When one of my or my husbands friends let it "slip" I just tell them you know one day she will know the meaning behind that word and YOU will have to explain why you claim to love her yet you use that word! That usually does the trick!

Celia - posted on 01/29/2010

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I cannot stand that word, in any use, in any manner, by anyone. Whether or not they think it's okay, I do not. A lot of the students I teach who are black will use that word when they talk to each other and it really angers me. It doesn't matter what form of the word they use; some people think if it's n***a it's okay, I'm not one of those people. It is a racist word and it is an ignorant word used by ignorant people. It is unacceptable to use at all, especially to refer to someone. NOT okay, and it should bother you. Stand your ground on this one, moms!

Amanda - posted on 01/29/2010

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I HATE that word and i will tell someone not to use it around me or my little one even if i dont no them i all ways fell like they are talken about her in a negative way

Janessa - posted on 01/29/2010

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omg i cannot believe you let those people call your kids that. Asians always try yo be white and there will never be and not many white use that word anymore only red necks lol

Kendra - posted on 01/29/2010

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I hate that word. Im african american and its mostly my african american and hispanic friends who use it towards each other. I told them never use that word towards me or my kids. i dnt even let them say it around me. They all talk about its wit a "a" not "er" im like its the same crap. Its derives from slavery and its demeaning.

Rai - posted on 01/28/2010

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That bothers the hell out of me especially since it towards your baby. They can use the "C" word but not the "N" word. Tell them to check themselves, show some respect.

Andrea - posted on 01/28/2010

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I can't stand it but also dread the day that my daughter (who is half black) hears it. I hope she never does but in this world i don't think that's possible. Some people will just never learn!

Heather - posted on 01/28/2010

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Touchy subject. I am white, my husband is black and I have two older biracial stepsons and two younger biracial sons (Black and White), My husband uses it, my stepsons use it, I however do NOT.. I feel it is offensive and goes back to a time that was filled with hate and ignorance. I will NOT allow my boys to use it. I am with you 100% on feeling that it is offensive.

Jennifer - posted on 01/27/2010

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And these people are your friends?! You need to have a serious talk with them about your feelings. That isn't appropriate nor acceptable. Let them know that you don't feel comfortable hearing that word and explain that it is hurtful to you. If they can't accept find some new friends that can respect you and your family.

Tabitha - posted on 01/26/2010

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I like many others am repulsed by the word. Whether it comes from someone white or black, being used in a derogatory manner or affectionately does not make a difference. Yes in America's history the word was used in reference to black people as a derogatory name. Now many black people do use it but with an "a" on the end instead of an "er". My opinion is that it doesn't matter what your intentions are because by definition the word means ignorant. I also firmly believe that anyone who uses that word in any form completely resembles the word for it's true meaning. I do not want either of my sons being called ignorant by anyone whether it is their friend or the redneck across from us! I have cut many potential friends out of my life for using the word even once and will continue to do so.

Meagan - posted on 01/26/2010

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hunni you needa get sum new friends pronto! i ABSOLUTELY DESPiSE that word because i've been called it soooo many times. it makes me sick when people still use it now...i don't care what year it is or how long slavery has been over..the term should be erased from every dictionary & every person who uses it vocabulary

Davina - posted on 01/21/2010

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I would NEVER let anyone use that word around my children... if they want to use it that's on them you cant stop them from saying it but they need to learn some respect for you and your child.

Brandy - posted on 01/20/2010

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I absolutely hate that word. My husband is black and we have a son. I do not allow him to use that word in our house or around our son. I don't care what race you are no one should use that word. It's derogatory and demeaning. Ask them how they would like it if you called their kids a racial slur related to their race? It's the same concept. Personally I prefer bi-racial.

Debbie - posted on 01/20/2010

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I would find new friends, no one is going to make racial remarks to my child.

Alicia - posted on 01/20/2010

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YES!!!! my lil cousin calls him nigga! makes me so mad! and then some of my family say negro and it gets me more mad! I dont let my son around the ones that do that.

Natalie - posted on 01/19/2010

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I hate that word! I really do! I think it's not a good word, it was used to discriminate and you can not make that a good word! No matter how Jay-Z or any other rappers try to tell people they're trying to make the word seem "good". There's no way that word will ever be something positive. It's just like "bitch" to me. I can just not see it as a good word, no matter how people try to explain it.

In our house we do not use that word. My husband hardy ever uses it anyways and when his brother was visiting (he's 17) he kept on using it and i told him not in my house. I don't want my kids to know that word. They're only 4 and 2....

Maryann - posted on 01/19/2010

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i hate that word and would NEVER allow someone to call one of my children that. I think you need some new friends!

Elina - posted on 01/14/2010

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in sociology they talk about 'reclamation': when a minority starts using an originally derogatory term to refer to each other, ostensibly to lessen the sting of having it used by others (ie: african-americans and 'n', the glbt community calling themselves 'qweer'). even my prof at the time questioned its efficacy; sure it takes *away from the sting, but it doesn't diminish the original *intent (etymology?) of the word itself while simultaneously serving to make it more prevalent in society at large. there was no discussion about individuals outside said minority accepting said insult (which goes without saying, because *that's called PREJUDICE). i agree with everyone here that says you should confront your asian 'friends.' i mean, how would they like it if you said something like, "how's the little slant-eye doing?" (not that i'm suggesting you should. although it might be fun ;p)

Oliver - posted on 01/11/2010

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It doesn't really bother me because I tend to ignore the connotation. However I'm a strong believer that if one person can't say it than NO ONE should say it. When it comes to our son, I will not allow any racial slurs of any race to be thrown around him.

Doriscel - posted on 01/11/2010

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Carla you are showing double standards. You should not be using the word period no matter how you think they maybe acting around you. You are so wrong for using the word so freely. Check yourself!!!

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Quoting carla:

i only use the 'n' word when i talk about ignorant and rude african americans. (they are mostly young) but i never use it around african americans that have manners. im hispanic and i call ignorant and rude hispanics wet backs. but i dont think its ok to call a baby the 'n' word. thats horrible.



carla...did u REALLY just let that come out of ur mouth?!?!?!?!??!  u sounded pretty damn ignorant typing that statement.



 



...sounds like the pot tryna call the kettle black in this situation!

Meghan - posted on 01/11/2010

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Quoting carla:

i only use the 'n' word when i talk about ignorant and rude african americans. (they are mostly young) but i never use it around african americans that have manners. im hispanic and i call ignorant and rude hispanics wet backs. but i dont think its ok to call a baby the 'n' word. thats horrible.


I am sorry carla but that is still wrong.  The dictionary offers the meaning "ignorant person", it DOES NOT give a color to that person.  Having a child that is half black if I hear that word used I FLIP out, I don't care were I am, I will cuss that person out.  All you are doing by using that word is proving that you are and "ignorant person".  Calling someone a wet back is just as bad, it is disrespectful and there is no readon for it, if you hear someone being ignorant or disrespectful tell them that they are being just that, there is NO reason to put the N word or any other put down in it.  I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but I don't care who you are or how you are acting that is not a word that should be used freely.  My fiance knows how I feel about this and so do his friends, what they call eachother when my child and I arne't around is their business, but in my house and when my daughter and I are around they are all well aware that the N word is NOT to be used.  The day that my daughter comes home and asks me what that word means is going to be a sorry day for someone.

[deleted account]

Quoting carla:

i only use the 'n' word when i talk about ignorant and rude african americans. (they are mostly young) but i never use it around african americans that have manners. im hispanic and i call ignorant and rude hispanics wet backs. but i dont think its ok to call a baby the 'n' word. thats horrible.



carla...did u REALLY just let that come out of ur mouth?!?!?!?!??!  u sounded pretty damn ignorant typing that statement.



 



...sounds like the pot tryna call the kettle black in this situation!

[deleted account]

Quoting carla:

i only use the 'n' word when i talk about ignorant and rude african americans. (they are mostly young) but i never use it around african americans that have manners. im hispanic and i call ignorant and rude hispanics wet backs. but i dont think its ok to call a baby the 'n' word. thats horrible.



carla...did u REALLY just let that come out of ur mouth?!?!?!?!??!  u sounded pretty damn ignorant typing that statement.



 



...sounds like the pot tryna call the kettle black in this situation!

Serena - posted on 01/09/2010

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Quoting carla:

i only use the 'n' word when i talk about ignorant and rude african americans. (they are mostly young) but i never use it around african americans that have manners. im hispanic and i call ignorant and rude hispanics wet backs. but i dont think its ok to call a baby the 'n' word. thats horrible.



I am not usually offended by someone's post but I don't think it is right to call anyone by a derogatory name no matter their race. This is how these types of words become so powerful and so much hate built behind them.

Serena - posted on 01/09/2010

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I never really thought about it until I had my children who are half black and now I can't stand it. But I try to follow my husbands logic that its just a word and if the intention is not hateful to just accept it. Its hard though

Carla - posted on 01/09/2010

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i only use the 'n' word when i talk about ignorant and rude african americans. (they are mostly young) but i never use it around african americans that have manners. im hispanic and i call ignorant and rude hispanics wet backs. but i dont think its ok to call a baby the 'n' word. thats horrible.

Kathleen - posted on 01/09/2010

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Ok, when you say 'associate' with, please tell me that you have no choice in this. If they are friends, this would be a good reason why they shouldn't. This would not be acceptable to me. Not from ANYONE.

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I'm asian and I find that word offensive. My husband is black and I would never allow anybody (asian, black or white) to use that and get a way with it. Don't you. It's offensive on all levels because your baby deserves better role models.

Doriscel - posted on 01/09/2010

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Yes I have a huge problem with it. I am a black woman and I hate the word. It was never used in my house, or by my family, and I do not accept the word being used in conversations around me. No one should use the word, not even black people themselves. I cringe when I hear black men calling themselves that word but then they get mad when another race uses the word freely. They can't have it both ways. It is very inappropriate, and when I hear someone using the word around me I do correct them on it!!!

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my question to u miranda is-----how can u still associate urself with someone who calls ur innocent baby a derrogatory name? i wouldve cussed them out up and down...and then told them to go kick rocks! i dont care what kind of relationship u had with them prior to that...that is TOTALLY crossing the line! they cant possibly be ur friend if they can go so low to disrespect ur baby! omg...i WISH one of my friends would even try to call my baby that! it would be a sad day for that mo' fo'.....fa real!

Meghan - posted on 01/08/2010

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I HATE that word!! It is degrading and it is used wrong all the time. If you look it up in the dictionary the definition is "an ignorant person" it says nothing about color. I don't care what color, nationality, ethnicity or whatever it is that you are, if you use that word, then you are that word! It is a mean mean word and I as a mom of a half black child I will not let her around people who talk like that. I don't let her go around my own father because he speaks like that. That sort of talk is unacceptable and I will not subject my daughter to that kind of prejudice. I am sorry if I sound harsh, I don't mean to, I just feel really strongly about this subject. Hope that this helps, but in my opinion, your child is going to face enough prejudice in life that you aren't going to be able to keep them from, if there is some that you can shelter them from then I would. Just let them know that there is nothing wrong with them, that they are loved and make sure that they feel secure with themselves, that way later when they do face prejudice they can brush it off and know that they aren't the one with the problem, the one that carries that prejudice around with them all the time is the one with the problem and that the people that are prejudice are missing out on knowing a wonderful person!

Venessa - posted on 01/08/2010

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I am bi racial and the word it self does not bother me, growing up many friends used it with each other, but when used in a derogatory sense it does bring out a nasty side of me. My younger brother & his friends frequently use it to refer to each other - in jest. I have always believed many words can be derogatory if used in the wrong context .... However in saying that why are you associating with people the refer to your child in this manner ..... They are not her friends they are your friends, have they considered the fact that if you started refering to their children using some other "word" - if the word bothers you it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, you need to tell them you don't like or you need to move away from these associates.

Ashley - posted on 01/07/2010

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I do not like the word at all. My husband who is black uses and i have to tell him to stop i dont care if they say it as a greeting or what have you. i do not want my kids to say it. I dont see it as a racial thing yes it was used to hurt people but i dont feel it is generated toward 1 race since it means an ignorant person but still i dont like it. All my husbands friends know not to say it in my house to.

Rachel - posted on 01/06/2010

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yes i dont like that word at all my step dad is always sayin it around both my kids. He says that them bein half black is a sad thing and its bad. He is always using the N word around them and Im afraid my son who is about to be 3 will use it all the time.

Michelle - posted on 01/06/2010

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It is not right for people to go around saying that word for any body, doesn't matter what color you are it still doesn't give them the righ to say it , some things you have to look over because they have no common since. i'am have the same prombles but i don't bit my tounge for any body, let them know how you feel about, it and move on i know it;s hard to do, easier then said and done, but you learn to live with it because our life and no one else no matter what you do or what you say just let it past it's 2010 and there are always going to be racial stuff just pray for them honey, there no more then we can do,

Michelle - posted on 01/05/2010

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I feel like it should never b used towards kids or in their presence, but the ppl I hang out with use it as a term of endeerment to their friends and I have no problem with it used in that way. But as for children using tha "N" word and being referred to as tha "N" word, absolutley not a good thing!

Rachel - posted on 01/05/2010

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I can't stand hearing this word and anyone who says it around me I go off on them. I hope that my daughter never learns the word and if she does she will never be allowed to say it. My soon to be Mother-in-law tends to use it often and it pisses me off each time I hear her say it. She claims to not be racist but I think that she really is.

Jaimee - posted on 12/15/2009

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The 'N" word is never cool to use, it irks me that a lot of people in the black community justify using this word as a term of endearment amongst themselves but are the first to dare a person who isn't black to say it. What kind of sense does that make?? That word harbors sooo much hate, pain and racism that it is NEVER ok to use. If they are referring to your beautiful baby as this, I would put them in their place the first time and quit associating with them if they continue to use it. Good luck love.

Annette - posted on 12/15/2009

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We do not use the N word at all in my home. My husband is black. My frist three children are hispanic and white, and my fourth child is mixed. The N word is negative no matter who is saying it. You should not let your daughter hear it or say it, and if your friends respect you they would'nt either. Look it up in the dict. Anybody can be a N word. Just my thoughts on the subject. nice writing to you.

Tracey - posted on 12/14/2009

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There's always going to be uneducated, stupid people who are going to call black people niggers, white people crackers, oriental people chinks, or latin people beaners. Hold your head high no matter what race or heritage you have. Teach your children to respect ALL people. We are all Gods children no matter what color we are and we all bleed red blood!

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