Guessing race?

Tiffany - posted on 07/11/2011

I get a lot of "You adopted two!" from people more than I get asked my twins' ethnicity. The ethnic/race question doesn't bother me, the assumption that they aren't mine does. Daddy is Kenyan and very dark and I'm quite fair. The boys are in between. When I was pregnant the 4 year-old I was a nanny to asked, "Will your babies be chocolate or vanilla?" Using her analagy I answered that they'd probably be more "mocha latte colored." The other day she told me that "Nathaniel's skin looks like peanut butter but it's not really." She's also quite literal when it comes to her skin. "No one really has white skin. That would be silly. My skin is tan," she proclaims. She likes to talk about it occasionally and I think that there is nothing wrong with the noticing of differences or talking about it as long as it's done with respect.

Aline - posted on 07/11/2011

Some people have asked me if my daughter was mine or adopted. I am half black and she is a quarter black but looks more white. It really ticks me off when people as this question because it is none of their business.

Jane - posted on 07/11/2011

When folks see me with my son they have told me that *I* have good hair. When they see me with my daughter they ask where her curls come from. And when they saw me with my husband, they would address him in Spanish and I would respond, also in Spanish. But no one asks what our race is.

Once someone wanted to know what tribe my husband was from, but then he had cheek bones to die for and we were in a Hopi village.

Kelle - posted on 07/11/2011

Yes, some have asked me if I am mexican. I find the term rude, I have many Latino friends who come from all over... Cuba, El Salvador, Puerto Rico, Spain, Portugal etc... I may be ignorant but just because someone has darker skin doesn't mean they all come from Mexico ( I also have friends from there ). I am Lebanese and proud of that. But I agree, what does it matter that my DD is very dark (especially in summer) and my son is pale like his dad. Why does it matter and I agree it shouldn't be a topic of conversation.

Kristen - posted on 12/21/2010

my daughter is five and i get asked quite a bit but it has never bothered me one time! im white and her dad is black so she is mixed black/white.. and i hear the question constantly .... her dad is black aint he? i just tell them yes! but it dont bother me at some times i cant help but be curious about other people but i know its none of my business! i would say however most the times i get asked it is by young girls or black men? the girls ask me because i dont look much older then them; and the black men usually ask just to verify i like black men!! i just think its quite entertaining; as well as i think its obvious she is mixed!

Ebonirayne - posted on 12/16/2010

People who are rude enough to approach a stranger and ask what my child is mixed with dont usually get the response they are looking for..I like to remind people that there is only on race and thats "human". This usually shuts them down pretty quick. This is also what I have been teaching my children and so, if an adult ask them these questions, they are my by a 9 or 5 yr old asking if they are ignorant because last time they checked, there was only one race of humans. And then reminds them that we live in the USA and that they are more than likely mixed as some point or another.

Stephanie - posted on 12/15/2010

I am half African, half white... and my whole life, no one could ever figure it out.. Hispanics think i'm hispanic, Native americans think I'm native american, and Indian (from india) think I am too!! I worked at Wal-mart for a couple of years, and people would ALWAYS come up and start speaking spanish to me. One guy even asked me in english if I knew how to speak spanish. I said 'no', and he asked 'are you sure you don't?'.. Wow. It really drives me nuts sometimes. My husband is white, and our son is darker than him, but lighter than me.. with black hair & brown/blue eyes. I know people are going to have a hard time figuring out his race, but no one comes up to ask about it yet. I know that sometimes he looks hispanic though... especially since he has SO much hair!

Veronica - posted on 12/14/2010

When I am out with my kids I always have people telling me my oldest son has "Good Hair" because his hair when cut short appears to be straight and when it is long is curly. Then they look at my youngest and ask me do they have different fathers because my youngest has dry reddish brown hair which "appears" to be nappy. I always tell them no they have the same dad and their hair is that way because I am mixed, therefore so are they. Thats when the looks really come in and people tell me you and your kids arn't mixed yall black regardless of what you claim. How can you tell me what my children and I am or not, just because our skin or hair isn't the right texture. People are just ignorant thats all.

Nicole - posted on 12/11/2010

everytime i go out with my kids. They all look different even though they are all from my husband and me. But its whatever, i dont mind it much anymore. no reason to get upset over something thats going to continue to happen. Im sure people are just nosey and you can always tell someone to mind their business. :)

Aleyshia - posted on 12/10/2010

it happens to me alot/ peopel always stop me and ask what he is mixed with

Tara - posted on 12/09/2010

My daughter is half Haitian and I am white and Inuit mixed. My daughters been mistaken for Italian.

Jessica - posted on 11/13/2010

no I don't think so people think he's mixed sometimes or not. I've never had an issue with it

Selena - posted on 09/29/2010

yes my son is half white and african and ive been asked if he is half asian multiple times and also half islander. its funny seeing there faces when i tell them.

Sam - posted on 09/27/2010

People ask me all the time. They usually think I'm Hispanic or Native American. I'm half white and half Asian Indian.I don't see why they're so bothered to ask. Once they know is their little curiosity satisfied? Rude.



My son looks like me. It's hilarious when people come up and start talking to us in Spanish. He's a kid so he doesn't have the tact to just smile and move along. Last time it happened he yelled out, "What!? We don't speak Chinese!!!"

Sara - posted on 09/26/2010

Yes. I get asked if my husband's Polynesian

Catherine - posted on 09/25/2010

Lol... I often get asked by other mothers of obviously mixed kids if my kid is mixed. Those questions dont bother me cuz I know where they're coming from. I do get told often what my child is... which is weird. You'd think I'd know my own kid lol! I did on the other had get asked if I was from india by an older indian woman the other day because I knew what a bindi was and I have many earrings on my ears and a nose ring LMAO! She was adorable but I said no.. I'm from Canada :P

Mei-Li - posted on 09/25/2010

OMG! Yes. I hate it so much. My children are Asian and European. I'm a tan Asian. Their father is a slightly tanned European. Our children are pale and 3 have brown eyes and brown hair, 1 has black hair and brown eyes, 1 has brown hair and blue eyes. People love to try to guess what race they are instead of just asking. If it's just one of us out with the kids there are more who try to figure it out. They ask if they are Hispanic... or native American... or Italian... or Arabic. It's really annoying and I end up just telling people their race before they get a chance to ask.

Heather - posted on 09/13/2010

my daughters father is black and i'm white, she has the craziest hair ive ever seen! sometimes i can't even run a comb through it. she has super thick pin tight curls that just go everywhere. but i have some friends with mixed kids and their hair is super straight and smooth as can be. it just depends on the child.

Courtney - posted on 09/12/2010

It doesn't bother me at all... I look at it this way, most of the time, if someone has the gall to actually ask this question (and I am DEFINITELY a guilty party), it's because your child is SO captivating that they are just wondering what they need to do to get a child so beautiful, lol... I have people of all different races ask what mix my daughter is. She's got light, but caramel skin, reddish-brown hair with some blonde through it, light brown eyes and the cutest nose and lips. Some people assume my daughter is hispanic (her dad is black, I'm exceptionally white), they'll even speak spanish to her. She smiles and winks, and they just melt. I LOVE IT!



I've had people of all ethnicities ask what mix my daughter is. It actually kinda makes me proud. I don't think they're hating at all, I just have an exceptionally gorgeous child! YAY ME! I doubt they're hating at all, they're appreciating.



And I almost think it's great that people are trying to figure out what potential skin color, mixed with your skin color, makes a child with such great features!



But, as I said, I am definitely a guilty party. It's not because I am rude, it's more because I come from a highly mixed family. I appreciate the different ethinicities and their features and LOVE to see different mixtures! Think about it, if your child weren't gorgeous, with some interesting features, people wouldn't care... Whether they're white, black, hispanic, middle eastern, whatever, people think your child is interesting for one reason or another...



It's even better when we go out with my nephew, who is only 2 months older than my daughter, and people go, are they twins? He's 3/4 black, 1/4 white. Much darker than my little girl, but people think they're twins... i find it funny. People are never sure... but, wouldn't you rather they be curious and actually ask you, than whisper about it in front of you? Then you'd be thinking they were talking about you or your children in a negative way.



I kinda think people take pride in themselves a little more when they see a child with features similar to theirs that is gorgeous. like "look at that gorgeous little girl, she definitely has black lips. And black curls, but middle european blonde colored hair!" They just take some pride in their own race for turning out such great features. Ok, that may not sound right, but i definitely look at it as a positive, not a nasty thing...

Toni - posted on 09/08/2010

yes i am having that problem but just a little different. for one they stirring at us because my 4 older kids are black and my youngest is mexican, they would ask me if she is mine. then sometimes they just look until they get the nerve to ask me is she mixed and whats she mixed with.

Michelle - posted on 09/07/2010

Not often. We are out with each other all the time so theyknow she half white. but im darker so they usually ask me if im mixed. (im hispanic) normally people think she's asian. lol

it doesnt bother me.

Jenny - posted on 09/07/2010

no I think some people are surprised when they see my son and his father. But later on I bet it'll be probably not hard. I've experienced with my family people always think I'm white until they see my dad who's half latino and south american. They just guess us to be a latino family.

Rashida - posted on 10/26/2009

i have been asked that or if that is my child!!!!! My reply always is if you mean is this child a product of love, then yes. And they are usually sitting there with their mouth open and then I smile and walk away.

Michaela - posted on 10/22/2009

in the beginning people thought my daughter was mixed with asian..now they think mexican.its funny lol. i like to keep them guessing.

Alyssa - posted on 10/21/2009

I usually get, "is that your baby?" or "wow your taking the baby out that your babysitting."

i understand she is half asian, but come on, she doesnt NOT look that much like me, she still has some of my features.

but other then that if some one does play the guessing game they usually sum it up in
"Oh she is Asian huh? like Chinese"
and im like
"no she is half Filipino"
and they look at me dumbfounded.

Iv learned to brush it off and ignore it now, people are just stupid half the time.

Kristina - posted on 10/20/2009

i have gotten that all the time and it doesnt seem to ever get better. My son is 3 now and it doesnt bother me too much anymore. I have gotten everything from hispanic, asian, indian but never a black white mix. I just laugh it off and say he looks diverse so he will prob. fit in with everyone. Just gotta raise your child strong and know where they came from b/c people will soon stop asking you and start asking them. Let them know how to answer too.

Anjelica - posted on 10/18/2009

I haven't had that problem with my children yet , but I face that problem myself ALL the time. People always ask "what are you?" or "what country are you from?". I just tell them that I am a "person" born and from this country. I also absolutely hate it when people approach me talking in spanish assuming that I am hispanic when I am not at all in the least bit. When I tell them that I do not understand what they are saying they look at me like I offended them. Until, of course they find out that I am Filipino, Japanese, Irish, and Cherokee.

Jennifer - posted on 10/14/2009

I am white and my husband is hispanic. People have never said anything to me like that but when I am out alone with the kids I notice a lot of hispanic people will look at my children and I know the wheels are turning. lol. My kids have pretty light skin but look more like their father. My son especially has the hispanic characteristics.

Shanya - posted on 10/13/2009

This happened to me frequently when my son was younger. I decided that I would respond proudly to their inquiries. I did not want my son to see me get upset about it and think that he had to have a chip on his shoulder. Instead, we chose to make it a non-issue, and he is now very matter-of-fact about his ethnicity. good luck!

Bonnie - posted on 10/13/2009

i have that problem all the time my daughter have long curly black hair and the first thing i get is the father white? it driveme crazy that people cant start the conversation with hi .

Sonia - posted on 10/09/2009

Yes I get it all the time, Is her father Peurto Rican? Her father is black

Brittany - posted on 10/06/2009

at the begining everyone thoght my little girl was asian but im white and her father is black..... now the problem i have now is that when i let her hair down so it can be curly some people thinks she is a boy but she is a girl

Faith - posted on 10/06/2009

No one comments on what race my son is....usually when we go somewhere where people would have the chance to ask-like on a trip-my husband is there, so it's obvious our son is white/black. When he is with his father, you can tell who's son he is because he shares some of my husband's features. We live in a small town so everyone knows our son's ethnicity. BUT....people do ask my husband where he is from on a daily basis. We work retail in a resort town and most people have never seen anyone different from them. Tourists ask if they can have their picture taken with him, or ask if he wants to go have drink so their friends can see him.....it's crazy!!! THAT irritates me!! I hope this is not what is store for my son.

Mellissa - posted on 10/05/2009

I always get asked when did I adopt my boys. Whats worse is if I am shopping with my sister, who is snow white, blonde hair and ice blue eyes, it is always assumed we are lesbian and my two little boys are adopted and gets comments varying from how lovely to have two mummies to how disgusting and my boys will grow up gay!

JTaira - posted on 09/26/2009

I get it all the time. My friends always joke that if my kids ever got lost in the store, if I was to go to retrieve them they wouldnt think they were mine. I black(mostly, for the sake of time) and their father is hispanic. I always get asked but it doesnt bother me. They are what they are and they're beautiful. I'm proud of them, not ashamed or upset about the mixed race so I have no problem telling curious people.

Kaitlyn - posted on 09/24/2009

I have that problem as a grown woman with people giving me the "I wonder what race she is" kind of look. I am mixed with Black, White and Cherokee and am obviously mixed, my son is mostly white but is mixed just like I am but has fair skin with an olive complexion. I constantly get the "are you babysitting" or "is he yours" questions. I've found that people are ignorant and curious about the wrong things. They should either compliment that you have a beautiful child or not say anything at all and keep on movin, but my mother is wise and said to never get upset or try to defend when someone says something of that nature around your child. You just say calmly that your child is just that a child and leave it at that and later explain to your child that they are beautiful no matter what...because if you choose to get angry and argue with someone of that ignorance it can cause your child to question if there is anything wrong with themselves.

Pat - posted on 09/24/2009

My daughter is bi-racial (I am Portuguese, husband is Caribbean). I have been asked "where did you get her" (my response was - my belly). I have also been asked if I was babysitting. Once I was in a store with my MIL and called her Mom. The cashier stopped us and asked if I called her Mom and how that could be. My MIL looked at her and said "the Lord works in mysterious ways." We then just walked away. I don't answer questions I would never ask someone else.

Sue-Ann - posted on 09/21/2009

Some ppl are just plain ignorant, and it's disgusting! I'm German, Black, and Venezualan mixed, my husband is German, Yugoslavian, European mixed. Our kids look white, and everybody just plain stare at us!!! We sat through a 2hr train ride to Naperville, IL and the whole time this caucasian lady was staring at my family and I, no expression on her face. My husband had to kiss me and say I love you and am glad I marreid you for the lady to stop staring.

Barbara - posted on 09/21/2009

I am a biracial mom, myself and have had to handle this my whole life. I am constantly asked "What are you"...my son is black (adopted) and my husband is white...I just think that people are so used to "how" a family should look that they miss everything else.
My son is 8 months, so I am very aware that he is going to have questions from people in the future...I still am asked that question and I am 32! I think that the best thing to for your kids right now is to see how mom and dad handle the questions, and yes some people are ignorant and the questions are really invasive at times, but right now is a great opportunity to show them how to handle adversity. We all know that we will have to handle it...our kids just have to learn a little younger, unfortunately.

Ashley - posted on 09/20/2009

That happens ta me ALL the time! I'm half white and half Hispanic. My boyfriend is black. We have a 5 1/2 month old son, Jalen. Therefore our son is black, white, AND spanish. He's light skinned but he looks EXACTLY like his Dad with my hair except he has small eyes so some people think he's Asian. It's usually older women who ask and it usually doesnt bother me too much except when I'm in a hurry and they want to ask a million questions- then, it's just annoying lol ♥ Ash

Nicole - posted on 09/20/2009

Quoting Titania:

also people always say since i am african american and chinese and her father is polish and itlain that she has good hair please would someone tell me what good hair is cause just because she is mixed

i dunno, ive always lykd mixed kids hair. i think its really pretty. exp. for a girl... im italian and czech. and my sons father is african american...and my son has really nice brown hair.

Nicole - posted on 09/20/2009

yea, since my bd is black and his last name is emanuel and my son looks tan and not that dark. they always think that hes hispanic.

Mary - posted on 09/20/2009

I have 3 kids my oldest is white and my 2 lil ones are Ghanaian and people ask me all the time if I adopted them. I kindly answer no I had em, but at least once a week when were out they ask me if I adopted them!

Chezronda - posted on 09/20/2009

I have that problem with strangers too, but It doesnt bother me. My sons father is from el salvador and my son took after him in his looks. Many people assume my son isnt mixed at all, and when all of us are out together, they go to him to ask questions about our son, or assume that Im watching him for somebody. At first I used to get so offended, but as time has gone by, it doesnt seem to bother me anymore. I get curious when I see some kids too, but I just ask "hey your son/daughter is beautiful, what are they mixed with?"

Tracey - posted on 09/17/2009

I am very fair with red hair, blue eyes and freckles, and my husband is from Pakistan, so it is quite obvious that my little "cafe latte" girl is mixed race. She looks like me, but has her father's dark eyes, skin and hair.

I love it when people ask about her, i would rather they asked me than just stared. I have only once ever experienced what you may call prejudiced behaviour. An old woman i have known since childhood, was looking at pics of the new arrival, and was quite shocked. She says "and what's her Dad?!" to my mother, who calmly replies " a man"

i think people who get offended quite easily can sometimes be a little defensive about comments that are not meant maliciously. Children can pick up on the fact that their race is an "issue". We dont treat the subject as taboo, if people ask - we answer, simple.

Tracey - posted on 09/17/2009

I am very fair with red hair, blue eyes and freckles, and my husband is from Pakistan, so it is quite obvious that my little "cafe latte" girl is mixed race. She looks like me, but has her father's dark eyes, skin and hair.

I love it when people ask about her, i would rather they asked me than just stared. I have only once ever experienced what you may call prejudiced behaviour. An old woman i have known since childhood, was looking at pics of the new arrival, and was quite shocked. She says "and what's her Dad?!" to my mother, who calmly replies " a man"

i think people who get offended quite easily can sometimes be a little defensive about comments that are not meant maliciously. Children can pick up on the fact that their race is an "issue". We dont treat the subject as taboo, if people ask - we answer, simple.

Priscilla - posted on 09/15/2009

my daughter is half white an half black an i once had someone ask if she was asian

Crista - posted on 09/15/2009

I get asked all the time what race my daughter is. I proudly say, she is Jamaican. Yes she is mixed race, but so what? I think what makes it worse is that I am no longer with her father, and have a new (white) partner. We have a son together, so it must look a bit odd, 2 white parents and a white brother, with a little mixed race girl.

I get very tired of people asking if she is mine. Yes! She is! Are you sure? Umm, yes! I was there when I gave birth to her!!! I've even been asked on more than one occasion if I am her nanny. No, I am her mother. So what if our skin isn't the same colour!

Some people just have very closed minds. Its sad :(

Maria - posted on 09/13/2009

I hear you. Once, when I brought my boys to a foot locker store to buys them shoes (since their feet grow fast), we were at the cashier to pay, and the cashier made a dumbfounding remark about my boys having two different fathers, only because my oldest boy looks like my husband (fair-skinned) but with my eyes, and my youngest boy has my color (olive-skinned) with his features! My husband is of Irish-Scandinavian descent but born and raised in Oakland and I'm Filipino with Spanish-Chinese descent. How bad is that?? Lol I just laughed it off, and but it can be annoying at times. It's one of those things that when one has nothing much to say, it's better left unsaid.

Lori - posted on 09/12/2009

I am white and my husband is 1/2 black 1/2 white but is very dark. We have 4 kids in a rainbow of colors, one looking pure white, one a little tanner then him, and the other 2 are even more tan. I would say the darkest one looks Mexican. I also frequently get asked what race my children are and if they are all by the same father. Most of the time I think people are just curious and are trying to make conversation so it doesn't bother me at all. I have noticed most people think my kids (the 2 darker ones) are what ever race they are, I've had Mexican, Asian, Indian, almost any race with darker skin ask if they were whatever race the person was. So I just chalk it up to curiosity I've never had any one say anything derogatory.