Just wanted to know everybody's opinion about Christmas & Santa Claus?

Moonika - posted on 11/20/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

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Do all parents tell their children that Santa Claus brings Christmas presents or do people give presents? Just wondering about other families and traditions. I had Santa when I was small but i dont think i gained anything by it. Some say I take the magic out of my childs life but I dont feel right to lie to her and want her to be happy about her parents working hard to provide her with a happy life and also to appreciate money and family. She will still get nice dinner, Christmas tree and all the decorations and all the presents, just presents come from her family not from some made up character from North Pole...Even tho I am an Ateist I think Christmas is meant to be a religious holiday not a time to show off your financial abilities or get yourself in a hole with debt, so for me Christmas is about Family. What are your opinions on all that?

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Karen - posted on 11/23/2009

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Hi Shannon... in fact Violet and I had that talk this morning and she took it very well...a little too well I think! She won't admit it, but I think this was more her way of testing the waters if it is "Ok with mom that I don't believe in Santa anymore?" I think she totally figured it out last year with Santa playing favorites. I am happy that Violet did assure me it was totally fine if Wayne still believed, and that she wouldn't be upset if some of her tags read "from Santa" lol. My daughter is 9 going on about 45! Whatever! She also thinks that now that her big brother has a real job he's going to buy her an RV! I guess its good to believe in magic of any kind!

Shannon - posted on 11/22/2009

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Quoting Karen:

This year I'm having a real hard time with Santa. My daughter goes to a school with a very economically diverse population. Last year when the kids returned to school and started talking about what Santa brought them, Violet became a little disturbed at the extreme differences in how Santa treated her friends. We do a very moderate Christmas in our home, with Santa bringing only a couple special gifts for each child, but she saw both extremes with her friends. Some kids didn't get anything from Santa, while others got ponies and cruises. With the myth being if your not good all year Santa won't bring you anything, she started to wonder what she and some of her friends had done wrong that she didn't get the pony she asked for when the girl she sits next to did. I know I just skirted the topic last year, because family gatherings took her mind off of it, but now I'm stuck for this year. How do you explain Santa "playing favorites"?


This happened with my daughter last year. She wanted to know why Santa didn't bring presents to underprivliaged children. At this point I sat her down and I told her the truth. She took it well and understood perfectly. She didn't feel she had been lied to and has no desire to run the magic of Santa for her little sisters.  What she wanted to do was donate some of her new gifts to children who did not get christmas gifts. The choice is yours but IMO children are understanding and are able to handle the truth. I think that the truth would be an easier pill to swallow than having to answer why santa plays favorites.

Leah - posted on 11/22/2009

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I have never raised any of my children to believe in Santa Claus. One reason being is because children are already given so much and they dont really appreciate what they do have. Few are willing to work for what they want because we have given it to them without making them work for it as we did growing up.

Secondly, I think it is "wrong" to teach them about something that does really exist considering I have taught them to be truthful and not lie. Sure it is part of the childhood experience as some have told me, but I did not grow up not believing in Santa Claus and believe I turned out just fine. Secondly, I want them to appreciate the hard work that went into making the money that bought them whatever gift they received from whomever bought it. I am still trying to teach them the importance of giving back and that it is truly better to give than it is to receive.

I will say that I have told that they are not to spoil it for other children that may believe!!!

[deleted account]

My kids are a bit past the "Santa" thing now, but none of them 'believed' past about age 4 - and even that was more for the grandparents' sake. I grew up believing in Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy etc., and honestly, I think it set unrealistic expectations of receiving ever-more-costly gifts, the desire to "keep up with the Joneses" and a skewed view of what the world is like. As Karen pointed out above, inequity is quickly exposed at Christmastime. Let's face it - not everyone gets the same stuff for Christmas - socio-economic standards and diverse philosophies make sure of that. I want our Christmas celebration (and other holidays) to be based in the meaning - and not the commercialization. To me, the point of Christmas is to remember the story and example of Jesus (IF you're Christian) and to spend quality time with family/friends in a loving and supportive environment. In our family, when the kids were young, we talked about the spirit of Santa - and how he's found in giving and loving hearts, smiles, tolerance and generousity - and we toned down the Santa mythology.

But...everyone has a different point of view on these things. I have friends who were appalled that the kids didn't believe...and that's okay. We all make our own decisions, and that diversity of belief is what makes life fun and interesting. Vive la difference!

Karen - posted on 11/21/2009

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This year I'm having a real hard time with Santa. My daughter goes to a school with a very economically diverse population. Last year when the kids returned to school and started talking about what Santa brought them, Violet became a little disturbed at the extreme differences in how Santa treated her friends. We do a very moderate Christmas in our home, with Santa bringing only a couple special gifts for each child, but she saw both extremes with her friends. Some kids didn't get anything from Santa, while others got ponies and cruises. With the myth being if your not good all year Santa won't bring you anything, she started to wonder what she and some of her friends had done wrong that she didn't get the pony she asked for when the girl she sits next to did. I know I just skirted the topic last year, because family gatherings took her mind off of it, but now I'm stuck for this year. How do you explain Santa "playing favorites"?

Misty - posted on 11/21/2009

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I tell my kids that there is a Santa and he does live in the north pole but he only brings one present unwrapped and you dont get it until Christmas morning and he also fills the stockings with little goodies. I dont feel that I am lieing to my kids..I love how they act on Christmas Eve when its time to go to bed so Santa can come.Its a really great thing for the kids and my childen do know the true meaning of Christmas but its still fun to have Santa.We even have a rule that if you dont believe Santa will not come..I am 25 yrs old and I still have to tell my mom I believe which is just a joke between us..but everyone has their own ideas of how it works just do what you think is best for your family.

Michelle - posted on 11/21/2009

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you know,all my kids know who santa is, and love him very much, but they know the presents come from parents and grandparent, ect. They watch all the Christmas programs and still say stuff like if your bad santa wont bring you presents. I feel either way you go all kids enjoy santa.

LeAnn - posted on 11/21/2009

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I have to agree with Yvette, we also believe in the same characters. They are only little for a short time.It doesn't matter the day of year-my kids know how hard we work. I do not go into debt for the holiday, anymore lol. When I look back now as an adult and no better-I also know how hard my mom struggled to be the Easter Bunny, Santa, and the tooth fairy, she raised us a a low income single mother as well. I know when my kids look back after they discover the truth on their own-they will know. My 13 year old son says he knows there is no such thing but doesn't want to yet ruin it for his 10 year old sister or the 8 and 10 year old step siblings, to me that is power of what it means to a child to believe in the wondorous make believe characters if another child doesn't want to ruin it for them and continues to "pretend" that Santa needs his letter. They particular way I do Christmas...we decorate, do the big dinner but when it comes to the gifts..."Santa" fills the stocking. Santa does not wrap his present that he drops off on Christmas Eve. Basically one gift maybe two for each child, a filled stocking and possibly a gift for the whole family-boardgame, movie, etc are from santa. I try to make it so Santa brings them something on their list but the major thing they wanted has to be wrapped to see the glorious smile on their face when they find it hidden in the box is all mine! You do not have to give in to the "media" and catalogs of the holiday, but what mom does not want to hold on to their babies and allow them to be kids as long as they can? Good luck on however you choose to do this, have a wonderful holiday season!!

Yvette - posted on 11/21/2009

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Honestly I love that my boys believe in the magic of christmas and santa. We was on vacation one year with my step mom when we had a great experience. A gentleman who dresses as santa at christmas time had arrived. He had the white beard, the glasses..it was great. I had seen him first and had to take a double lookcause i could have swore i seen santa. The look in my sons eyes when he saw him was a moment I will never forget. The man was wonderful, told my son he was on vacation cause it was too cold at the north pole to swim and asked my son not to tell anyone that he was there. Then he gave my son a business card that had his address listed as the north pole. These days there is so much hate and crime I think anything to bring the look of wonder in my sons eyes is a great thing. We believe in the Easter Bunny,Santa Claus, and The Tooth Fairy. I wouldn't have it any other way.

[deleted account]

Try telling them the history of Christmas and how it came about. You could even tell the traditions some families have and explain to your kids what you did for Christmas. Hope this helps a little.

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