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my current boyfriend is racsis and my first child is half mexican

Kimberly - posted on 03/11/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Well I have 3 children, all from different fathers. My first child is half mexican and my other two are both white. My current boyfriend has started to become racsis over the years. He never really treated my daughter rosa different but now that we have a daughter together he seems much more distant towards her. He seems to favor nevaeh over rosa. he says that he doesnt feel any different towards rosa then he does nevaeh but i dont know if i believe him. im worried that she is going to lack the kind of love she deserves from him. he is the only father she has ever known. i worry how this will affect her.

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4 Comments

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Jennifer - posted on 03/14/2010

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if you feel that he is racist trhen it is probably not a good idea to allow him to treat your child in a way where she gets hurt. Although a lot of people will say that it is favoritism over HIS biological child, it's still very unfair to your child that is not by him. I have 4 children now and only 1 of them is fathered by my fiance. He treats them all the same...and if he ever changed that then him and I would have a problem. I hope that your bf is not really a racist and maybe just favoring his own....but you should talk to him and tell him how you feel. Good luck to you!

Shea - posted on 03/13/2010

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I agree with Kristeena..well said.

Amber - posted on 03/12/2010

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If your boyfriend is racist then I don't see how you can allow that around your children even if your children were all white. You obviously love your children and it is your job to protect them. He may not treat her badly but if you allow him to make racist comments or use racial slurs around your children one day that is going to affect her. I knew a girl once that had two children that were half mexican and then she got into a relationship with a white man and got pregnant by him. He started out with comments but over the years he began to call the children racial names and say horrible things. You should let him know that you are not willing to tolerate it at all from anyone. Let your daughter grow up being proud of who she is.

KRISTEENA - posted on 03/12/2010

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Honey that is not rascism, that is called classic favoritism. It's a natural occurence when in that situation. Of course he is going to lean a bit more toward his biological child,more so than one that is not his own(how many Maury shows have proven that fact). Now if he is calling Rosa racial slurs or stuff like that(then that would be a serious problem),but you didn't indicate that so I wouldn't worry too much. You have already expressed your concern to him, I think you should try and trust him. If he says that he's okay with both girls then take him for his word..if it still seems that he is pulling away from Rosa, then ask him about it again,and give him examples..that might help him to realize his actions/so that he can correct his behavior. If this becomes a major issue, you may want to think about not being with him. I wish you luck. God bless

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