Not looking mixed

Amy - posted on 01/07/2009 ( 75 moms have responded )

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I have three children, all mixed. My oldest is Puerto Rican, and my younger two are black. None of them look mixed unless it is summer time. When we go places, I catch stares when my children call to their daddy. I try not to allow this to bother me but sometimes it goes right up under my skin. I am not sure if it's easier for your children to look mixed, so there are no questions, or for them not to look mixed, and have questions/comments. Do any of you out there have kids who don't look mixed?

Thanks,
Amy

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Cyndie - posted on 04/16/2009

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All mixed babies are beautiful & those who judge them are jealous. I have a son who is half mexican & half black. He is a beautiful child & he is loved & well taken care of. When people see me & my husband they do a double take & wait for us to pass so they can get a glace at the baby. I think it is important to raise our children less about what kind of race you but rather on the type of character you are. It would make the world a more happier place I think. We are really all from the same race anyways....the human race - now act like it!

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Tammy - posted on 04/28/2009

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People do say the dumbest things without thinking... when my oldest daughter was about 2, we were shopping at the Mall when some strange women walked up to us and was totally irrate... she said, " I can't believe you would perm that baby's hair!" and then just walked away. My daughter is blk/wht.. she has light carmel colored skin and at that time had blonde kinky, curly hair.

Amanda - posted on 04/28/2009

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My SS is white and part puerto rican and he looks completely white. He doesn't tan or even resemble his Spanish heritage which throw people off when they find out. On the other hand I was a church the other day when I seen this BEAUTIFUL baby who had blue eyes and blonde hair but he was of African American decent. He was light skinned like his mother and father but they both had dark hair and eyes. I was mesmorized on how beautiful this child was. He didn't look like he belonged to them and I am sure they get rude comments all the time. I had to go over and tell them that their child was beautiful and let them know how blessed they were.

Kristel - posted on 04/27/2009

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Quoting Deshawna:

Oh, yeah. I can't count how many times strangers have come up to me and tell me my kids look nothing like me. I've even had some people ask my husband if he were happy they were so light!! Now that's rude!



Whaaat???  Why do people not have a filter?

Maria - posted on 04/26/2009

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Yes, my oldest look white and he's half Caucasian and half Filipino. I tend to be more protective towards my youngest, since a lot of people give him dirty looks even now when the four of us are together because he looks more mixed, specially in the summer. He seem to take it in stride, and in fact, both my teens are proud of their cultural heritage on both sides.

Sunny - posted on 04/23/2009

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Quoting Deshawna:

Oh, yeah. I can't count how many times strangers have come up to me and tell me my kids look nothing like me. I've even had some people ask my husband if he were happy they were so light!! Now that's rude!



the gall of some people!!! I am shocked at times by how rude people can be. My LO is more like my husband. He doesn't look very Asian, apart from his eyes and people seem to define him as African, because he has darker skin and curly hair. But if you see my husband, myself and him together he is a mix. I have been asked if he is mine before, and I get the stares, but the majority of the time, people seem to mind their own business.

Deshawna - posted on 04/23/2009

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Oh, yeah. I can't count how many times strangers have come up to me and tell me my kids look nothing like me. I've even had some people ask my husband if he were happy they were so light!! Now that's rude!

Kayla - posted on 04/23/2009

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My boyfriend had a stranger some up to him and say that our son didn't look like him. I'm white and my bf is black. It really annoys me....not to mention it's obnoxiously rude. Other people have said it too...and honestly it grates on my nerves.

Deshawna - posted on 04/23/2009

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There have been times when the only way people realized my kids were half Black was when I showed up, and then you could just see the confusion or surprise on their faces. I was told my 3 yr old looked more "Eskimo" than Biracial and my 11 month old is darn near a conversation piece for strangers every day. Also get a lot of comments on how pale my kids are considering how "dark" I am in comparison. I really don't get how some people can NOT see that they are obviously Biracial. Maybe it's easier for me to see because I'm their mom but I dunno. I can easily see or suspect mixed features in most mixed/Biracial people. If anything, I've been fooled more so by someone NOT being mixed when I thought they were. But then I think maybe they just don't know their history as well as they think or choose not to embrace parts of their genetic make up.

Grace - posted on 04/23/2009

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I like that..We are all from the same race. You are so right. Next time when someone asks me i'm going to say "Human" LOL - classic. Thanks!



 



Quoting Cyndie:

All mixed babies are beautiful & those who judge them are jealous. I have a son who is half mexican & half black. He is a beautiful child & he is loved & well taken care of. When people see me & my husband they do a double take & wait for us to pass so they can get a glace at the baby. I think it is important to raise our children less about what kind of race you but rather on the type of character you are. It would make the world a more happier place I think. We are really all from the same race anyways....the human race - now act like it!





 

Melissa - posted on 04/18/2009

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There are so many replies to this, and I thought it was interesting because tonight I went to a party. At this party was a family. The mom was white and the the dad was a vietnamese/filipino mix. They had three children. I have two. I am white and my husband, technically, is mexican and black (3/4 black). Their son is three and mine is one. We took a picture of them purposely because they look almost identical, literally. Same hair, skin tone, eyes (his were a little lighter than my son's) and they don't have the same ingredients!!! God created people to be beautiful. My son could probably one day "pass" for white, but it is so interesting that he looks so much like a little boy who is not "black" or "mexican" but has "asian" heritage instead. I've had people ask me if my daughter is adopted also, but it is to be expected in our society. We still have to love the people and hate the ignorance/prejudice. Unfortunately, yes, it is up to us to educate them... how we go about it is the question.

Lindsay - posted on 04/17/2009

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my daughter is half puerto rican and she looks just like me blue eyes and all white girl lol. ex in the summer lol then shes all rican lol but i dont know where your from but there are soooo many mixed kids now of days and even if that wasnt there daddy oh well hes there for those kids and people need to look at it that way not casue hes black or white you know dont let it get to.

Dana - posted on 04/16/2009

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my son is half black hate the term mixed however, he looks white always except his curly hair so we get the same looks doesnt bother me. his father is his father. whats important is that we are a family and that he is beautiful. i believe it is easier for the children not to look mixed. but thats just my opinion.

Rhonda - posted on 04/15/2009

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my mums fijian and my dad is from england, i have curly thick black hair, brown eyes and brown skin, my sister has thin straight brown hair blue eyes and light skin.... i love it when we go out and people ask if we have the same parents, we have often got our id out to show our proof of who we are. The pic is of my daughter tamia ela, her dad is half tongan and half samoan so she has tongan samoan fijian and english blood in her....

Susan - posted on 04/15/2009

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Hi Amy .. I have three children ages 8,4 and 1. All three of my kids are mixed with African American and White. They all are very light skinned with the african american features. I think people stare because our children (bi-racial) have the best of all races.

Lisa - posted on 04/14/2009

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I'm White and my hubby is Mexican buts looks White and are daughter looks White. People make comments all the time about Mexicans and it gets old.

Kim - posted on 04/11/2009

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My son is almost 2 and he is mixed white/asian. I don't think he really looks mixed at all. He is darker than me and lighter than his dad, but really I don't think it matters if he looks mixed or not. People can tell when they see me and my fiance together. He is what he is and that is a cute little boy and that's all that matters. I don't pay attention to other people. I could care less if they stare or make comments. We are happy together as a family and love each other. If anybody has a problem with it that's too bad. :-p

Amber - posted on 04/10/2009

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My son is bi-racial (I am very Irish and his father is black) People always say my baby looks mexican.  I don't really care what people say or think of my son and his appearance.  My son was born very light but when I look at him all I see is his father.  People should know that we come in every shape and size and that our children come out unique no matter what their racial background.  My neice is bi-racial as well and she is light skinned with blue eyes and the most beautiful curly brown hair.  Bi-racial children come in every shade because beauty comes in every shade.  I would say who cares about if your baby looks either race.  I don't care all I see is my beautiful baby.  I don't know if anyone looks at me with him or his father with him, because I really just don't care enough to worry about it. 

Carolyn - posted on 04/06/2009

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My kids are black/white but always get mistaken for being hispanic. It's funny bc people actually think I'm hispanic bc of the way they look...Their friends are always blown away when they are told I'm "white" which I hate as well because that is such a BROAD catagory. I'm German by family history, but if I say that then people think I'm crazy too, yet if I say Italian (which I'm not) then its all good.

Lauren - posted on 04/05/2009

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My daughter doesn't look like she's half african.  I am white and my husband is Nigerian.  When we are  all together we get more looks than when she and I are just together.  She looks a lot like my husband but is fair like me and has blue eyes like me.  She has curly hair but it is soft not coarse.  I don't really care what other people think and no one has asked me if she is mine.  Maybe they would ask my husband but he is a really big guy so probably they are intimidated.  I just ignore people who are ignorant.  If they can give dirty looks to a beautiful little girl yelling hi at them with a big grin then they aren't worth my time!

Jennifer - posted on 04/04/2009

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My son is half american and half hispanic. He doesn't look hispanic at all. I'm sure your kids are beautiful just the way they are. My son has his Dad's brown eyes but he has my white skin. Hopefully our next child will have my green eyes. :)

Nicole - posted on 04/04/2009

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i am a mixed child and my parents are white. i was adopted though. people will always be like that and you just got to let it roll off your back. you love your children and yur husband so screw everyone else.

Margi - posted on 03/26/2009

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I have two children to my partner, one is 31/2 and he is white. I tan quite dark myself, (im white 2) and he doesn't really get dark at all, and i have just had my second child, 10 weeks and he is brown, probably darker than his dad. I feel like people think that my children are to different fathers, (not that there's anything wrong with that). I just feel bad for my oldest because he is his daddy, and noone should doubt that! to look at their pictures their faces are so similar. Anyway so i have one of each, one who looks bi-racial and one who doesnt.

Melissa - posted on 03/26/2009

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My two daughters are mexican they both dont looked mixed until summer time comes around.I

Christy - posted on 03/25/2009

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I just posted about this in another blog. My son is black, white, italian, & American Indian, and he looks like he is spanish. He gets really upset and frustrated when kids tease him and call him mexican, also when spanish people come up to him and start talking spanish to him. He is like "Dude I dont know what you're saying" lol He doesnt have a problem with any one elses race or herritage, matter of fact i think he could care less, he has friends of all races, he cares more about the personality and how they treat him.

Jessica - posted on 03/24/2009

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I am white and my husband is black, we have a 20 month old daughter who looks white and has blond hair.  The looks my husband gets from time to time are priceless.  The worst part about it is if you look at her she is a spitting image of my husband other than the fact that she has light skin and hair.  I worry sometimes if we have another child and it comes out dark what people are going to think.  It doesn't bother me at all what people think I just hope that she is treated fairly when she gets older.

Jennifer - posted on 03/24/2009

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It's amazing what some people have the nerve to say. I haven't experienced much, though I do get a lot of stares when I'm with my husband. I am white and he is black, from Tanzania. His mother had Greek in her so he is a lighter shade than the average Tanzanian. He got teased as a kid because he was lighter. Our son is very light and you can't tell he has any African in him. Fortunately, he has DH's facial features and dark brown eyes so he very much is both of us. But I'm sorry for all the ignorant people still out there. More than that, they're just rude!

Annabelle - posted on 03/24/2009

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I think that in this day and age, people would be less ignorant and not assume that a child is of one race. I'm filipino and my husband is white. Before our 6 month old was born we joked on what "side" she would look like. Almost convinced that she would get the stronger asian genes, she came out with light brown hair, blue eyes, and such a fair complexion. I do get comments or questions from complete strangers such as, "Is she yours?".

We just laugh about it. I know my daughter is my daughter. We'll teach her about my filipino culture and how to embrace the gift she has been given on being Filipino-Canadian..... My husband jokes and calls her "Phil" (for half filipino).

Deshawna - posted on 03/23/2009

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I've had total strangers come up to me and assume I was the nanny. One person actually asked me if their parents knew I had them out in a grocery store instead of at home! One person  asked what their dad was and when I said White, she goes 'and what is the mom, do you know?" Once I kept being stared at by some guy and I could tell he was trying to figure out why I was holding this really White looking baby with no one else around. I finally got angry and started breastfeeding in public while glaring at him. He looked away embarrassed real quick but he got the message. I've also been ignored while standing right next to my husband as he held one of the kids and a person would coment on how cute DS was and then ask where was the wife. And lets not even try to count the times a church nursery worker/preschool/care provider has out right refused to give me my own kid  at pick up time...



 



People do see what they want to see...I get approached quite a bit by Hispanics who assume my kids are Hispanic. When they were between 3-1 yrs old, they got a lot of Filipino coments. My Filipino neighbor who had just moved in and not seen my husband swore up and down my DS was Filipino and was visably shocked when she saw she was wrong. Enough that she came knocking on my door and goe's "Was that your husband???But I thought...Your baby is not Filipino??"

Justine - posted on 03/20/2009

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I have two triracial girls ( their dads' are black and I'm 1/2 italian, 1/2 white).  My oldest daughter is light skinned, but has black features.  Her friends nicknamed her Redbone.  She has straight, "white" hair.  When she was younger, she was always mistaken for Mexican.  My youngest daughter is dark skinned and has curly, "black" hair.  She is always mistaken for mexican also.  



I'm glad that there are other children that don't look mixed, that have the  same fathers.  My two girls have different dads.  My oldest (who doesn't looked mixed) daughter's dad had sickle cell (he passed in '06) and I always thought that the disease had something to do with her being light skinned.  Since her sister doesn't have the same father, I didn't have anything to go by. 



 

Toni - posted on 03/17/2009

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I have 3 bi-racial children(black/white). All 3 have the same father. All 3 look totally different. My oldest son looks white. Really white. When he started school and his dad would go eat lunch with him, the kids would ask him where his "real" dad was. He doesnt tan he burns in the summer. My middle son has darker skin, not one bit of curl in his hair. Most people think he is hawaiian, and our youngest son does "look" mixed. I think it is really neat how unique they each look. When my oldest son was little he would always say he was white on the outside, but black on the inside!! HAHA.

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It's weird how people place so much importance on skin color or characteristics. Whether or not your parents are from the same heritage or not the children aren't going to look exactly like both parents 100% any ways. I haven't really dealt with too many of these comments yet since our baby is only 8 months but it's good to have a heads up of what to expect. Our baby boy is Canadian which to me means he was born here and has a ton of different heritages. I'm Native American, Irish, Polish, Scottish and French Canadian. My husband mother is West Indies, African with a Scottish Dad and his father was a very dark African man. So we both don't have a typical look. But to be honest I had prepared myself for a very dark baby that would look nothing like me and ended up with a fair skinned, fair haired, blue eyed baby. Often people would take bets about his eyes going brown and his skin darkening but so far they haven't. Our son though has an exact mix of our features. My husband eye shape but my color, his smile but my lips. A stranger once commented on how he looked exactly like his father to my Dad who then pointed my husband out as the father. The man got very embarrassed and ran away from us?!?! My son looks exactly like whoever is holding him, doesn't matter which side of the family the person is from. Oh well either way our son is the cutest child in the world and we're very happy parents!

Tami - posted on 03/16/2009

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my son is black/white. he looks like my husband who is black, but he has my white skin and blue eyes, he tans easily in the summer. he use to have curly hair until he started school and after his first hair cut he lost all of his curls and now just has short coarse hair. unless people know us they just assume he is white and doesn't belong to my husband. it's very irritating to have people ask who his dad is, why he's not darker, so on and so on. my husband has alot of light skinned people in his family, his mother included, so to us it made sense that our son would be light. we know several other families whose parents or kids look like our son, so it's never been a question until someone pointed it out. i just tell people that he looks exactly how he's suppose to look!

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I must admit how happy I am to come across this thread.  My little Ava is only a few weeks old - but she is the same shade has her daddy.  I am black and her father is Puerto Rican and White - but I had no clue she would come out so incredibly light.  I mean I know about the wonder that is genetics, but if she didn't look like me I would worry.



It does seem to be the first thing people comment on, and I am amazed when people say she "she is so light - she doesn't look like you".  I mean Ava has my nose, my cheeks - my exact pouty face.  So now I am anticipating the questions of "whose baby is that", or my favorite "Is that your real baby?"

Stephanie - posted on 03/15/2009

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Dont u jus hate it when ppl come up 2 & ask the stupidest questions, my son is White/Arabic/Dominican he looks exactly like his father pale white skin wit jet black hair & sky blue eyes & me on the other hand im like a caramel color wit reddish brown hair & brown eyesz, every single time we go outside i get so many stares & ppl b like is he urz im like duh who elses is it goin 2 be? they b whose eyes does he have im like his dads duh, ppl r rude  & jus dont noe wat 2 say sumtimes

Alicia - posted on 03/14/2009

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My son is half black/half of whatever I am (lol...italian, japanese, native american, etc) but he does not look like most half black kids. His hair is dark but it isn't kinky or even very curly. It just has a very very loose curl. His skin is also very light. He is a little darker than me, but not much. I have people ask me ALL the time why he isn't darker. How should I know? That's how God made him! It really bothers me sometimes.

Stefanie - posted on 03/13/2009

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my son looks like a light skinned black lil boy (both kids are black/white) and my daughter looks like a ghost. when the family is together we look like we belong but when im w/ my daughter or my hubby is just w/ my son, we get questionable looks

Brandi - posted on 03/13/2009

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I have 3 triracial children. They are half black. I'm half native america and half white. My oldest looks full black. My middle looks mixed. And my baby is my lil pocahontas!!. While the oldest who is 15 now growing up we would always here "oh thats your mom?"" Your dad must be dark." I would laugh at ignorance and still do. I also have been asked how many baby fathers do I have because they are not the "same color" I politey tell them one and when you look at my background and thier father background you will have a variaty of color. The real funny thing was when my oldest was born she was bor n"white" and my mom asked me if she was going to get any darker. I told her babies are born white and yes she will get darker. The middle child was born with straight hair. I cried because I didn't know what to do with straight hair. I delt with curly hair for 9 yrs. But it did go culy in 6 months and to this day its a "job" to do.

Sarah - posted on 03/11/2009

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This is an interesting topic for me...I am half white/mexican and my husband is black. Our son looks more mexican than anything. My husband will tell me that when he is out with our son that people will look at him and take a double look and he it makes him feel bad - like those people don't believe he is his father. I just don't get people these days - yeah he might not have the same hair texture as him but he LOOKS just like him! I don't experience the same stares that my hubby does but I could only imagine how it must feel.

Maria - posted on 03/10/2009

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I have three mixed childeren;  One is hispanic and white and the other two are mixed african american and white.  The about to be three year old looks it, but my one year old looks white as can be.  Some times people look at my husband funny when he's with her.   Hoping our next one is a boy and he'll look more like him!

Brittni - posted on 03/09/2009

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I am Puerto Rican and black and my husband is black. My daughter doesn't look anything like me. She is much darker then me especially in the winter, when Im pale with no tan. Some people don't know she's mine untill I say somehting. Now my son looks like he could be Puerto Rican and my husband jokes, " he's getting dark babe" and it makes me mad. Do I have a right to be mad. I love both my children to death no matter what color they are but for some reasons the comments people make about the different shade of my kids really bugs me.

Kelsey - posted on 03/09/2009

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I have a son and you can see in my profile pic that I am significantly lighter than his Filipino father. I am very fair skinned and my son is too. When he is in public with just me people ask if he is hispanic. I get tired of having to say no he is Filipino. He doesn't look asian unless you see him with his asian father, then you can see how they resemble each other.

Katie - posted on 03/05/2009

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Yeah, it's weird for me, I am Indian (from India) and my husband is Italian/German, but mostly Italian. My older son looks white with large broan almond eyes, and my younger son had jaundice, so he looks darker. I am 23 years old but look 18, so people automatically think that I am babysitting. It's funny, when I take them to go to a restaurant by myself, they don't know what to think! Most half Indian, half white kids that I have seen a pretty dark, and they are few and far inbetween. Good to find fellow frustrated, but humored moms!

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I have been dealing with this my entire life.  My mother is white and my father is black, but my brother and I look white.  We look like party crashers at family get togethers.  One time when I was out with my dad, I was acting up in the parking lot of the grocery store.  A lady actually stopped and asked me if "that man" was trying to kidnap me. 



As I got older, I learned to use my coloring to teach people about racism.  People would feel comfortable talking to me because they thought I was white, but when they found out about my father, they would see things in a different light. 



My husband is black.  Since our daughter is 3/4 black, we thought for sure that she would be pretty dark, but she looks just like me.  Except that her face is the spitting image of my husband bleached out.  She had really curly hair until she was 3, but now even that has straighted out. 



When we were in the hospital, my husband asked my brother if she would "darken up" with time.  It took him a while to accept her looks, but there was no denying that he was her father.  Although she sticks out like a sore thumb when she's with her cousins, they all accept her, but they did ask why she was so white when they were younger.  I just said, "Everybody's made a little different" and left it at that.



I just hope that one day race won't matter anymore since we're mostly all a mixture of something whether we look like it or not. 

Jennifer - posted on 03/04/2009

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My oldest 2 look bi-racial but my youngest doesn't. People have asked my husband if he had a paternity test to "make sure" she was really his. My oldest daughter has a hint of brown skin, my middle boy is almost as dark as his dad, and my baby girl is white, she has curly hair though lol. And Logan isn't mine but his skin color is very orange.

Andrea - posted on 03/04/2009

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my two year old son has a white face but tan legs he is half white and half black i  have had people ask if he's bi-racial or what? but my fiance has a great grandfather that was half black and half white and his family and my fiance says our son looks like him. as both of our families say people are just ignorant when it comes to bi-racial kids all bi-racial kids aren't going to be the same skin color or have the same features as other bi-racial kids. one parents genes were more dominant.

Rachael - posted on 03/03/2009

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Chatima I need to have one of those shirts made. My son is almost 7months and he is still getting darker but when my fiance isnt with me I always get asked where did you adopt your son from... he is my biological son.  and he isnt even that dark.



i dont see why it should matter so much..people need to get on with their own lives and stop worrying about others

Mary - posted on 03/03/2009

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I know the feeling, I am very pale skinned and my husband is from west africa and very dark, my daughter is pale like me and if you didn't know my husband was Gambian you wouldn't suspect she was bi-racial.



Don't let haters destroy something beautiful, you have a beautiful family...something that is desired by a lot of people.

Jessica - posted on 03/03/2009

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I have 3 bi racial children. My husband is puerto rican and I am White. My husband is pretty dark skinned. My children are as white as I am. The youngest one has a slight tan and curls but nothing that makes her look of a different race. I guess they will have to rely on their last name to prove their Puerto Rican heritage!

Amy - posted on 03/02/2009

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Yeah I have a 3 month old son who is i guess you could say 1/4 black. like it matters... Everyone I come into contact with says he looks everything but white/black. I will raise my son to be proud of his african-american heritage as well as his Italian heritage. I don't understand in our society why everybody has to have a label. We are people and that's the only category we need to be placed in.

Jennifer - posted on 02/25/2009

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Hi.

I have three children, one white and my two boys are bi-racial. I'm white my husband is black. When Sean was born he had long dark curly hair (big curls) and "black" features...looked bi-raicial, when Tyree was born he was "white", bald and had no "black" features. Now my boys have the same father and in the hospital room my grandfather had the nerve to ask my sister in front of my husband if I was sure that Tyree was Tim's baby. He is now 4 years old and look more "black" than Sean who is 6. He has more texture to his hair than Sean has and his skin is a little darker. Bi-racial babies change soo much during their first few years and you have to learn to ignore the ingnorant comments people say "how they don't look Black" or "are your kids adopted". Racism has come a long way but we're not where we need to be for our childrens sake. All we can do as parents of bi-racial children is to let them know they are loved and teach them early on to ignore the ignorance. Our children are growing up with a bi-racial president so that right there is a sign that the world is coming around.

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