okay, awkward question

Jessica - posted on 05/30/2010 ( 41 moms have responded )

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I am going to ask a question but i do not want it taken the wrong way... Has anybody else noticed in there part of the world that Black Men usually date larger white women? They same is true with Mexican Men n white women.... I live in Missouri and maybe this is just how it is here...I was just wondering if anybody knew why that is or if it is just a localized thing lol

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Sarah - posted on 10/02/2010

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there's a common misconception about plus size white (or any race) women that men take advantage of. they think that if they pay a large woman any attention then she'll have sex with them or that she'll buy them things, etc. because supposedly all overweight women have low self-esteem. i know its not true for all men, but i actually had this discussion in one of my courses at college. its sad, but when you get down to the nitty gritty...its true for the most part.

Teryl - posted on 06/06/2010

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I always figured that it was so no one would want her and she would always be there for him to get what he wanted from her.

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Sandy - posted on 07/16/2012

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I live on Okinawa in Japan. The majority of Black men here are in the military. Those who date, usually date the thin Japanese women.

Emily - posted on 05/27/2012

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The way I factored it in and asking my sweetheart is body preference .. he liked a woman he could hold. He didn't like a stick figured woman. If you go back in history the women were not smaller i.e. immigrants from other lands such as Italians, Irish, Dutch. A larger woman indicates the ability to be fertile and have child bearing hips. Women down south and of the African American persuasion tend to also be larger. I don't find it un natural, but I do find it a common occurance.

Victorya - posted on 10/06/2010

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Haha I live in Michigan and I also lived in Georgia and it is the same for most black and mexican men there, too. For the black men, in some parts of Africa it is known that the heavier the women the richer and more attractive. I think that just stems from that. I really do not know about mexicans other than its just their preference. Also if you can look at these mens mothers. Like women lean toward men that are like their fathers, men also lean toward women that are like their mothers.

Danielle - posted on 10/05/2010

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Being a black woman married to white man, the observation is true. I think Black and Hispanic men like healthy strong looking women and are more open about it. My husband said most of his white buddies don't necessarily like stick thin women, they like athletic, healthy looking women, too. Go figure.

Courtney - posted on 10/04/2010

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OK, i'm gonna throw my 2 cents in on this one. Yes, I have seen the same thing. I am a thick white girl. In MY experience, "white culture" tends to glorify the stick-thin, tall, blonde, big boob ideal. Other cultures celebrate their curves. Now, the white culture has started to embrace the shape of "real" women in more recent years, but it's still a new thing. Other cultures have had curve-appreciation for a looooooong time. Granted, there will always be men, no matter the race, that like thin women. And I know for a fact that there are white men who like curves, it's just not quite as prevelant in my experience. Also, the women of these cultures learned to appreciate their curves long ago as well. That's why we don't look at a black couple, where the woman is shapely as a chubby-chasing guy. Eh, that's just how i look at it.... Oh, and never trust a skinny cook! lol.. that was out of line, but in my case, it's true. This big girl can THROW DOWN in the kitchen! lol

Serena - posted on 10/03/2010

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Through my experiences especially living in Hawaii (I grew up there) where it is so diverse, non-caucasian or asian men prefer curves. Its what they have been grew up with and taught to embrace.
But if you ask my husband (he's black and I'm not white nor "thick") he says its usually the first women to hit on them. Like when he will go out with his friends and comes home and tells me about the big white girl who wanted to buy him a drink. We say its his target audience.
But I have to agree everyone has their own preferences.

Tara - posted on 10/02/2010

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I would have to say it is just a preference for that individual man. My man is black and likes a woman with a little meat on her. I am pretty tall 5ft 9 and im now 150 lbs I just lost 30lbs. My man says he loves me for me and not how I look (sweet huh). He just told me the other day that he was glad that even though I lost all the weight I still got thick thighs and a great ass...lol. All men have their ideal woman and I dont think it really has anything to do with race. My man prefers to only date white women he has his own reasons why and I cant knock him for knowing what he likes.

Tara - posted on 07/19/2010

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I would just like to say I'm not a big woman or skinny I like to think of myself as average. I think the underlying statement in this consversation is that the Western world obviouslly places too many importances on being skinny. In another time a larger woman was seen as healthier and obviouslly of wealth. Times change. In my circumstance my frame is larger so when I did lose weight it doesn't flatter me too well. I know that I appear much better as curvy woman than skinny. My bf likes me that way and when it all comes down to it it's how a couple interacts not how they appear with each other and don't forget a lot of these larger women have a higher confidence bc they accept their bodies and personal beauty instead of fixating on fitting into a size zero.

Brandi - posted on 07/18/2010

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No it is not only local I live in Georgia and it is the same here it is kinda wierd tho huh but me and my husband have been together for 8 years and i'm not a big woman but he loves me guess it's just the mans preference huh......

Kelly - posted on 07/17/2010

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I'm a bigger girl & my ex used 2 tell me, " Meat is 4 the man, bone is 4 the dogs!" LOL. However I do believe it's all in what u like. I hate 2 say it being a big girl, but I've only every dated skinny men. It's just what I like!

Teisha - posted on 07/17/2010

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my boyfriend is 6'2 and around 130 maybe.and i am 5'0 and 185.(before getting preg.)he is black n i am mixed but look mainly white.i think it all depends on a mans body preference.i am NO where near skinny while he is and we both love each other!

Candace - posted on 07/17/2010

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I live in Florida and I see what you're talking about quite a bit. My Uncle who's black has a white girlfriend and she's a big girl. She's very pretty she's just not small. I'm black and my husband is white and im not a "big girl" but I definitely have curves and he doesnt seem to have a problem with it..I don't know I guess men just like women no matter what shape or size which is how it should be anyway

Mary - posted on 07/17/2010

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I am 5'4", 115 lbs and my husband is Mexican... I do see what you're talking about though. I live in GA and it is quite common here to. Idk why...

Charley - posted on 07/15/2010

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alot of guys no matter race likes thick gurls more cushion and they not scared they gonna break us

Aretha - posted on 06/11/2010

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well since we are both from the north I can agree with you men tend to have skinny preference since that is what sells now ,but honestly thin is not in I am not thin and flatchested but have nice waist down and pretty chocolate skin and I attract more races than I ever imagined.personally I feel I am a plain jane but my man says that is what make me exciting . So to each one teach one.

Brianne - posted on 06/11/2010

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I also am engaged to a black man! When I met him I was thinner then I am now, but to this day he loves me for who I am! We met in college and I was on a sports team where I worked out daily... when we graduated I wasn't as active and put on some weight. And then got pregnant, and have been pregnant for the past 20 months (2 babies back to back) He tells me everyday that I am beautiful and he loves me for who I am!

I have also dated both black and white men ... I don't think that it has anything to do with the color of the man! I think each man has a preference and they are attracted to that type of women!

April - posted on 06/11/2010

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Oh honey, ALL sorts of men like bigger women! I hate that stereotype because I've dated all different races. I don't see color. But, the man I chose to marry is black. A lot of people look at us and assume that I only date black guys, because more black guys like bigger women. SO not true. I've dated white men that only like bigger women. A lot of men like something to hold onto, lol. But there are also a lot of men who will not date a larger woman. It's not just confined to race, every man is different.

Carol - posted on 06/11/2010

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Hi Jessica, am African and I think I can answer that. In Africa having a wife that is curvy and fleshy is a sign that she is being well taken care of by the husband, which is not necessarily the case. Having this ideology in their minds I believe makes them look at a large woman as one who would be best suited for them and to be the mother of their kids. That is an explanation that is given but am also curious to get to know more

Jennifer - posted on 06/10/2010

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I would vote that it just comes down to personal preference! My boyfriend is Hispanic and I am skinny with no chest. Even while still breastfeeding my toddler, I have hardly any breasts to speak of! Sad, I know :( But he doesn't care. I am also 4 inches taller than him, and he doesn't care (although that does bother me a little, if I'm honest about it!).

Aretha - posted on 06/09/2010

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WellI have to agree that white men like women of color . I stated I am married and I am getting a divorce from my husband of nine years and the guy I am seeing is white very sexy also and he is 43years old. I was told that I was the perfect size for him I weigh a hundred and fifty pds and I am 5' 7' he said I am perfect for him not to gain anymore weight. So men have there own preference with what makes them happy it depends on the man and I was very excited for he doess not judge me but instead loves me ..

Aretha - posted on 06/09/2010

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I have noticed that I live in Connecticut that the black men up here date white women for their money not to say it is right but some men are just users like that .I personlly choose to date white men it has always been mt preference snce i was a child . So happen to find a spanish man that I thought was the world and I got fooled by the culture differerence.Dating my own race the fact I do not like black men do to my own personal experience physical abuse not saying that all black men are abusive it could be any race. I hope nobody gets offended by this I just adore white men he excepts me for who I am my weight and all that I am by the grace of god we are accepting of each others fault and we work through them and together we are a whole with the childrren whom is recognizable as ours.

Amanda - posted on 06/07/2010

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Most guys I know don't want some little stick thin girl, and that is black, white, and other races. There are very few that will go for a little skinny girl that looks like she needs to eat something. I am a fairly thick girl, not fat, but with booty and I have had black and white guys hitting on me and I have dated both. A healthy girl with curves is going to get more attention then some rail thin girl with no hips and no boobs, or fake ones.

Heather - posted on 06/06/2010

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Catherine, i agree..that is pretty horrible. Just because a girl is bigger doesn't mean someone won't want her. I'm a thick girl, i've dated black men and white men..they have all been thin but preferred thick girls...and trust me, i have no problem getting guys Teryl, they like some junk in the trunk.

Sandy - posted on 06/06/2010

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I live in Okinawa, Japan. There are many American military men here. In my 22+ years here, I've noticed both preferences. However, the majority of what I've seen in mixed ethnicity couples is that they prefer the thin Asian women or the full size Caucasian women. In reference to your query, this leads me to think that ethnicity also plays a part in their preference.

Janessa - posted on 06/06/2010

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funny topic lol, I only date white guys and my partner is white. He thinks i am to skinny and need to have curves being 108 pounds 5'3' with big boobs. We love each other but if he wants someone with more curve that is his problem i am not going to get fat period. Anyways except for my partner now but all the guys i ever dated love my skinny body :). All of those guys only date skinny girls and their make fun of black and latin men because there date the heavier white girls. They have told me it is not a lost for them because those are the trashy ones. Which is mean but that is how my other boyfriends felt one said skinny, pretty and healthy is what their look for.

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Hmm.. it's hard to answer this question for me personally because I am a big woman with a dark man (not black per-say, but fijian) But I've dated more white men then black. I'd say it comes down to personal prefrence. If someone is going to be in a mixed relationship they're probably very comfortable with who they are and dont care what others think about them, so it would make sense in that way that they care more about the person inside than out... but hey.. my fiance is all about the big butt lol! so *shrugs* I just dont know!

Stacey - posted on 06/05/2010

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my partner said that in samoa the 'larger' the family the more money they have.( because they can afford more food maybe lol)

Kristal - posted on 06/04/2010

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LOL I hate to admit it but down south in FL, it's the same exact way. In some cultures the bigger the women is the more powerful she is and more respect the men have for a large women. Men see a certain confidence in a large women and most men think it's also a sign of health. My husband is 6'3 and weighs 255 while I'm 5'9 and 180 so I'm not huge but definitley have curves lol

Amanda - posted on 06/04/2010

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I was born & raised in Georgia, and have lived in both South Carolina & Missouri. I think that's more of a MO thing personally. Cause in GA & SC, it's pretty much equal. Bi-racial couples come in all shapes & sizes. There is no set stereotype. And it IS what the man prefers. If a man doesn't like it, he's not gonna be in a relationship with it.

Felicia - posted on 06/04/2010

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Black and Hispanic men tend to be more accepting of any body type. This isn't 100% of the time, but I think more often than other groups.

Philomena - posted on 06/03/2010

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hi,how are you im going to share my opinion on your question,i am from rhode island and i have noticed that too,i am white a little on the heavy side and am with a black man for eight years. my opinion is no matter what color a woman is, a bigger women focuses more on her life and her man,in society today a skinny women is the in thing,posted on every magazine cover,bill board,ect. and there is nothing left to the imagination and a lot of black men like their women to be unique for them and they dont need anything flashy which most smaller women are because they are the in thing,men want whats theirs to be theirs only, i dont know thats my opinion, you know ive never been asked out by a white guy always black and spanish that has always puzzled me, but where im from i think white guys dont like bigger white women.its wierd.well hope to get some feed back.

Alledra - posted on 06/02/2010

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I don't think it has anything to do with race. People like what they like. Most men like meat on their bones, but are just afraid of how the public will view them. I say, just be who and what you are. There's someone for eveyone regardless of race, size, or anything else. Love is blind.

Nickey - posted on 06/02/2010

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lol. There are alot of guys who like larger women. Its just what they prefer. Nah girl its not a localized thing. It is everywhere.

Jackie - posted on 05/31/2010

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Its true about black men here too. I think that theres only one couple of ww/bm that isnt a thicker woman. Mexican men however are different. If they are imigrants then yes they do prefer the bigger woman but my ex husband is mexican. I'm definately not a larger woman. It's not because I dont eat. Me and food are pretty tight I just cant gain weight. I'm 5'7" and weight 130 lbs. When I was 5 months pregnant I had gained only 5 pounds and he flipped and said I was getting fat and started cheating so I guess it all depends on the guy. My ex was born in Kansas by the way.

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ii have noticed that the black men where i live tend to prefer larger women or very thin women. they have preference just like everyone else.

Jessica - posted on 05/30/2010

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yeah I guess it just comes down to preferences....lol I have just noticed alot of mixed couples like that... but it takes all sorts to make the world go round lol

Carolee - posted on 05/30/2010

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A lot of guys prefer larger women. I think that it's the Black and Mexican men who are more 'vocal' about it. I've met a lot of them that prefer their women almost stick-thin, too, though.

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