Raising someone elses bi-racial children

Ellie Richardson - posted on 08/09/2012

Hello Safiyyah its very nice to meet you, My name is Ellie. I get the stares and questions every time I go places with my own children and get asked if they are my children. I myself am the prouduct of two parents of different races. Im olive skin, light eyes and wavy, loose curly hair. My dad is african american an creole medium light brown skin and my mom is Spanish (white skinned) . My husband is dark skinned african american. My oldest from a past relationship also has a african american dad but he is light brown so my daughter is tan and super curly hair, My other two kids are brown but have some of my features. Very coarse hair.Off the top I can see why people think they dont look like they are mine. At times I get annoyed with the same questions being asked over and over and over. Its completely redundant @ times. I went to take my kids swimming in a public pool and I was signing them up. One lady thought they were by themselves an asked my daughter where were her parents, I was busy signing papers and I finally realized it I told the lady they were my kids and the lady was in aww and shock that I could produce kids that are brown. I told her Im mixed with black and my husband is black so thats why they look the way they look.

Carol - posted on 05/26/2012

welcome. im rasing my own children but i've actually had a woman ask me repeatedly if my daughter was mine. My daughter has strawberry blond hair, blue/grey eyes and shes white. My husband has dusty blond hair, blue grey eyes and is white as well. The woman even saw my husband and she repeatedly asked me multiple times if my daughter was mine. I was tempted to say ' no shes just some kid i decided to bring to the OBGYN appointment.' but instead i jsut started to ignore her. If any one asks, you can always ask them if they do the same thign with people who adopt. As logn as you lvoe and care for the babies it shouldnt matter if they just showed up on your door step in baskets. Good luck!

West - posted on 05/20/2012

First off good job for being there for those children. It will get better as time passes. Right now I know it feels weird because people are so small minded. It's a delicate situation because you should not have to explain your family to the world. I know this advice is cliche and probably not too helpful but try your best to ignore it and protect the kids. My oldest kids are fully black from a previous relationship and my youngest are mixed so we get all types of stares. My aunt has an adopted mexican son and a mixed daughter and My mother in law had my spouse who is half white and half indian while her other son was half middle eastern so she got strange stares. It's just something you'll get used to with time. Best wishes to your family.

Louise - posted on 05/19/2012

Hello and welcome to the group. I think people are naturally nosey and the fact that your children look different to you makes people want to enquire. It is something that is not going to go away. I dont think it is a ratial thing because, I get the same thing. I am white but with dark hair and dark brown eyes, yet my daughter is fair and has long blonde curly hair with piercing blue eyes. Every one (complete strangers) always ask who she takes after in the family. None of your business I want to reply, but I am to polite for that and find myself explaining that she takes after a great grandmother.

I think your adopted children are very lucky to be brought up in a diverse household. Like most children they dont see colour or race they see mum and dad. It is a shame that as children get older they get predjuiced against people because of colour of skin or religion. If only we could all stay as innocent as a child.