Mary - posted on 06/15/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )
A while ago I read in another forum about a woman who separated from her husband. They have two kids together, she is white (Norwegian) and the father are black (African). In her revelation, she wrote one sentence that struck me. Her final quote said that she is to never be with another forener ever again. The man might be of no good, but I see nothing reasonable to exclude any forener in the world, based on one person only. There are good and bad in everyone. What I do know there has been no domestic violence or any such abuse in the household. So I addressed that final saying, told her that it was rather narrative and bit thoughtless to say. I told her that I am myself are like her kids (mixed), and she should think twice or more about her saying, she might not think it, but such saying do affect children in ways you do not know. And have heard many times ladies speaking about the children`s father in a negative tone, even in front of the children. Even I told her even that I once had that similar thought in mind. I am now met the love of my life. He is from Cameroon, and I could not be more grateful. I am not giving a "free pass" here to anyone, but what I can see of most of those relationships that fail, are due to culture difference. I do not agree on everything, but in our relationship we meet each other halfway. And we talk about our differences and customs. From before she said that she did not want any African names for the children. I live in Norway and the primarily thought of great deal are that if you give your children "white" names your children have a greater chance to make it in life. Everything is debatable, and time changes. I have a white mother, and my dad never lived together so I say things a bit from my point of view. I live in a very urban city where you see people of all different kinds, there are still some sort of race issue here but not so much in a big degree. However we have included African and European names to our son. He experiences both our culture. The reply I got in return from the woman was not of the thoughtful kind. I was even called a racist.
I like to quote Bob Marley “Me don't dip on nobody's side. Me don't dip on the black man's side nor the white man's side. Me dip on God's side, the one who create me and cause me to come from black and white”
I just wonder, since many you ladies in here have a partner from another culture. What is your thought on separation and culture, when you are having kids together?