SOOOO DIFFERENT---It's crazy how my kids look so different with color

Amber - posted on 08/29/2009 ( 12 moms have responded )

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Hello. I just wanted to see if anyone else has this problem....Ok I am white and my man is black..we have two babies..a boy(17months) and a girl(7months)...HOWEVER....My son is WHITE--(blond hair, blue eyes, and SOOO light) and my daughter is DARK--almost darker than daddy..she has black curly hair and brown eyes. Anyway..i feel as though my man feels funny takin our son places b/c ppl look at them funny and all my son yells is dada...jus wondering if anyone has any advice for me..(and him)

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Amber - posted on 11/02/2009

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LOL.. OK, get this.. I'm white, obviously, my husband is black and philipino. He looks straight black though. My kids look asian. well, my daughter mostly. My son looks hispanic. LOL.. When me and my husband are out and about, you should see the looks we get. CRAZY. I have actually had someone ask us, are these your kids? LOL Go look at my pics and you will see what Im talkin about. My daughter looks straight philipino.. not black, not white, philipino. Ya, even I get looks when im just with her. lol.. I just ignore it, laugh it off. If someone gives me a dirty look, I ask them, what are you looking at? BUT, im rude about it. Cause its rude to stare..

Michelle - posted on 10/30/2009

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Amanda mixed raced children can come in all different 'colours'. Just because Your partner has dark skin doesnt mean your genes can not be stronger and over rule thier daddy's dark skin gene. My friend has a 4 month old who has a very black daddy, shes white with medium brown hair. Dads obviously black with ver curly hair. Little boy is very white with black straight hair. No colour in his skin at all and he even looks like her brothers and nothing like his dad.
My daughter is mixed race and has taken everything from her dad. Her skin is quite dark, her eyes are very dark brown and her hair black and curly. HIs genes were stronger but our next child could ened up looking like me and have light skin, and brown curly hair with blue eyes , who knows....but what I do know is you and your partner should be very proud of the children your have brought into this world..and he knows hes the daddy. and you know your the mommy so why should it matter to the lady walking down the street??? It obviously means she has little undertanding other than that of her own race/culture...thats not something for your partner to be ashamed of...thats something the lady should be ashamed of..its called small minded and nosy.
When Im out with my daughter and her daddys not around - she doesnt look like shes mine cus shes so dark and im soooo pale...yet I dont care what others think, Im proud of her, shes beautiful and she carries my blood in her. Next time someone stares or looks funny at your partner...get him to have some guts and turn round and say ' is there smething of interest to you here, if not stop staring and move on' thats what my partner always says when we get stares.

Amanda - posted on 10/29/2009

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My boyfriend always feels weird taking our daughter out because he gets alot of stares. Our daughter has very pale skin, and doesn't look like she has any black in her at all! She has med. brown hair and light blue eyes. She looks just like her mommy, only I have hazel eyes. (we still don't know how she got blue, I have hazel and his are light brown). Anyways, he hates that when he goes out people look at him like he isn't her daddy. The only advice I have is that no matter what your child looks like, society will have a certain thought about it. It sucks that people are so judgemental, but that's the way the world works. People continue to judge every day, you just have to turn the other cheek! Good luck girl!
XOXO Amanda

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Nicole - posted on 11/13/2009

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U just cant let people get to u. My fiance gets those same stares when he carries our "white" son around. It is unfortunate, but thats just how it is. Youll be alright:)

Kathy - posted on 11/13/2009

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I have two boys that are half black and half white. My husband is African and a lot of his family are actually "lighter skinned" black people. Our older son was very light when he was born with dark straight silky soft hair and brown eyes. His skin got a bit darker as he got older and when he was about to turn one his hair suddenly kinked up and became curly but kept the silky consistency. We just had another boy 2 months ago who already seems to be darker than his older brother but also was born with the dark silky smooth straight hair and brown eyes. Some people have mentioned that our older son looks Puerto Rican and when I had my second son he looked Mexican to me the first night. They change as they get older though so you don't know what they will truly look like until their body is fully developed and has taken in all the characteristics of their genes. I haven't really noticed anyone staring at us and neither one of us feels funny taking our boys out anywhere by ourselves. Our first son may have a bit lighter skin but he is a spitting image of his father and so far our second son seems to be an even balance of the two of us. We mainly get comments that are children our beautiful and should be models but we just love them just the way they look!

Megan - posted on 11/12/2009

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Both of my children are mixed, black and white and they both look mixed. My son looks a little more black and is slightly darker but you can tell that both of my children are not fully white. A lot of ppl think my daughter is spanish and white.

Nicole - posted on 11/10/2009

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I have 5 children and all of them are different... My oldest looks more Mexican, my next girl definatly looks mixed with the dark skin, curly hair, then the next looks more Mexican but has light brown hair and natural blond streaks in her hair, then my only son has blond/brown hair, blue eyes and very white skin, but has the nose and big lips!!! my youngest girl has the darker skin but so far straight hair and light brown color with hazel eyes... oh my third daughter has the hazel eyes too!!!!! So u can imagine the looks I get when i'm in public with all my 5 kids who look nothing alike and they are all calling me "momma"!!! I love to watch people's faces as they stare and try to figure it out!!! You just have to laugh at people's ignorance!!!! My husband loves his son to death, and loves all the differences in all his kids.... he is proud of all of them and loves that they are so different!!!! BTW my son is the only one who got momma's blue eyes... the two oldest have dark brown eyes and then the two youngest girls have the hazel eyes!!! Just don't worry about everyone else and love and enjoy your babies while you can... cuz b4 u know it they will be grown and gone!!!

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Well you should put your foot down and let your hubby and or man know that this behavior won't be tolerated. No matter what your child looks like it's his and so he should treat the child as such. You are going to get looks from people; however you can't do anything about it but embrace and love that beautiful little boy. If he is treated differently by his father in public he may develop some type of complex, so just demand that your man show him love and affection no matter the situation :)

Alina - posted on 11/08/2009

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Well, I'm lucky I guess - after reading what ya'll go through - as both my kids do looked "mixed" somehow - one just looks like he is more black and white, the other looks black and mexican.(or as many will say - Is your oldest samoan and your youngest mexican?) But when I've observed an idiot stare or a stupid comment towards someone who is with a child who obviously doesn't "look" like them - as people have done with me and my children - (I'm very pale, freckles, red hair, green eyes and very tall.) I educate them. (and actually - since I've been sub teaching - KIDS GET IT MORE OFTEN THAN ADULTS. When they realize who my kid is, they say - "I thought he was mixed. Is his dad black?" Pretty good kiddos) But anyways - I tell these "uneducated people" that - "Excuse me - I saw the stare you were giving that lady with that kid that doesn't look like her - (or that couple with that kid that doesn't look like them) - did you know that even two black people can have a kid that turns out looking white - if they have any light skinned people in their family line? So really - you can stop staring now. If you need more info - go google it." I don't stand for stupidity. Ignorance happens, but if you continue to act that way after you just got some education - they you are a stupid idiot. And, they should know that that affects not only the parent - but the children as well. Jack Heads!

Maria - posted on 10/30/2009

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Just ignore the looks! My oldest son looks like my husband, who's Caucasian, fair, strawberry blonde, hazel eyes. He's now 17. My youngest son is olive-skin, like me, I'm Filipino-Spanish, brown eyed, dark brown hair. He's now 16. People gave us looks when we took our boys individually, or together, or separately. And we endured them, so long as they physically don't hurt us or our boys, no harm done. Some people can be hurtful with words, I've had to put up with that, too. Some I didn't care for because they go too far, and I just have to say something. Others, you'll just have to learn to let go. They just don't know how beautiful the fruits of your love are, the way you both do! It'll come to pass, and you'll learn to laugh about it!

Michelle - posted on 10/30/2009

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sorry meant to write amber...was readin amandas post again sorry lol...forgive me amber x

Schmikia - posted on 08/31/2009

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Here's my personal story. I'm a black woman with bi-racial kids. All 3 looked white, not biracial at birth. I would get double takes and whispers with my son...he was breastfed. It was obvious that people never thought I could have been his mother. But when I had to excuse myself to a fitting room or something to nurse they would take a look at me then a look at my "white" baby and just be confused. My oldest girl has waist length hair and never wears it "natural" or curly. It's always bone straight and here in OK people often believe that she is native american. During one of her parent-teacher conferences her teacher actually told me that she didn't know/think that I was her mother. Even though I'd been there on meet the teacher night before the schoolyear began, even though I was the one who always brought her the things she'd forgotten at home, and even though I was always signing her paperwork. Her father was very involved in her schooling too and he's not black. He is very fair skinned and often gets asked if he's Greek or Italian. In fact, I wonder who the teacher thought he was too???

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